Wisebaxter

Yeah I get that ultimately I have to experience what's real. But in the past I've found that having help from others can guide me on where to look and help me avoid pitfalls. No shit I'm confused though Don't you find some of this stuff confusing?

Ok, the reality is, I can see a creature that calls itself my girlfriend. It seems to look similar to me in a lot of ways and sounds the same as well, although it does have questionable tastes in movies. So the illusion is the reality? This is what throws me off balance. What I see is both real and not real?

Well I know that 'I am' as that's part of my experience. I know that I am awareness at the very least. But as for her, I don't know if she's even there and not just a projection of my mind. So you're saying that she is 'there' and she's having a similar experience of existence to me? Ok, I can dig that. She certainly looks like she's there. It's safe to assume she's part of awareness too then. I dunno, I'm just caught up in crazy theories again. When someone who's had enlightenment experiences says 'you're the only thing that exists' it just confuses the hell out of me as it's not in my direct experience, which we're supposed to be relying on

@abrakamowse But what about the Self, the true self, not the ego, that's not an illusion right? So is that part of her real? Is it only the form I see that Leo is saying doesn't exist? That makes more sense

@Samra The classic mistake with anxiety is to fight against it when it occurs, although this feels like the most natural thing to do. There's the sensation itself and then the thought which follows it, saying 'I want this to go away.' This then locks you into a loop where your thoughts feed the sensation, your sensations feeds the thoughts some more and vice versa. Become aware that there is an awareness behind the anxiety that's viewing it, which isn't a part of it. Become curious about the sensation without labelling and move 'through' it, not 'away' from it. Here are a couple of videos which have helped me:

Try Modafinil for a while to build up your concentration skill, that's what I did and it worked like a charm

@Yoshy If you're serious about knowing the answer, conduct an empirical investigation, take some psychedelics and make your mind up that way. Otherwise you're just relying on assumptions and heresay and you'll never really get to the truth. If, on the other hand, you already think you know the truth, what is there to discuss?

@luckieluuke That is interesting, that for some it makes no difference. Just shows how biologically we're all so unique. It makes a noticeable difference for me. But I've decided now it's no substitute for other techniques that increase consciousness and presence in the long-term. Much better to get there through more sustainable means, but this stuff could definitely provide a leg-up for some, just like psychedelics I guess.

@TheAvatarState Amen to that brother.

In @Leo Gura's latest video he mentioned that it's better to become awakened during this incarnation instead of live a life of suffering. But he also says that God may have a lifetime for suffering planned for us/himself if that's what he wants to experience. This idea, along with the one regarding us having no free will, makes me wonder how me, my ego can really choose to do anything. Every time Leo mentions making a 'decision' in his videos I wonder how decisions can be made with no free will, or is this another one of those lovely paradoxes? I'm just trying grasp how I can make a decision when God is in the driving seat.

@abrakamowse Cheers for that dude. You're right, it's pretty futile trying to use words to grasp this one. I've given up on trying now as it's kind of a distraction from doing consciousness work. The more actual work I do to develop being, the closer to the truth I feel I'm getting

@luckieluuke Placebo? Very unlikely. Perhaps you're already pretty woke so you don't need it

@kira I bought it from Afinil Express, an Indian company. I paid about £30 for 20 of them, something like that. No it wasn't prescribed. I'm having a break from it at the moment as it can make you feel a bit funny if you take it every day. So yours should be arriving today huh? If you have an issue with overthinking then you'll find it enjoyable. My new advice is, use it sparingly, not every day. It's pretty intense stuff. I can't even imagine what armodafinil would be like.

@Anton Rogachevski Well put, that makes sense I'm gonna follow @Nahm on this one and just become as aware as I can. Also, I like what @TheAvatarState said: Ultimately this question of free will, it seems to me, cannot be answered for me in any simple fashion. I still have questions, despite all of the great answers and insights given here, so the way forward is to have a direct experience of what's true. If I keep asking questions I'm just going to create more mind chatter for myself and get further from the truth. This has been a brilliant thread though and I'm loving reading all of these different perspectives. It sounds like a lot of you guys have realised the truth of this one but trying to communicate it with words to someone who hasn't experienced it will always be a challenge. I'm actually quite bloated full of theory and concepts in general at the moment and I'm going to leave it all behind for a while and do nothing but self inquiry, which has been blowing my mind recently and bringing me closer to the truth, I can feel it. My consciousness seems to have altered somehow from doing it, it's hard to say how exactly but I feel a lot more present, calm and in touch with the truth, even if I haven't fully grasped what that truth is yet. Thanks for all your help on this one guys, much love to you all

@kira It's just your imagination running wild. It's an unknown entity to you so they'll always be that sense of trepidation with a new experience. Modafinil does need to be used responsibly as if you use it every day it could make you feel a bit burnt out. You may also find it hard getting to sleep. If you can feel cravings start to take hold, take a step back straight away and have a few days off. I have to say it's also just very enjoyable in general. Go with your intuition and you can't go wrong though. Your heart will tell you what the best course of action is. I'm feeling the urge to take it every day right now, that can't be denied. I've struggled with overthinking and lack of focus for years so it's a Godsend. If I'm addicted, well that's fine with me. I'd rather be addicted to Modafinil than addicted to thinking. I'm happy to sacrifice my control as the benefits I'm getting from it are too good to be true. I can sit for hours and do nothing, it's so sublime. Or I can focus on a life purpose task without all the bullshit negativity and resistance.

@kira Yeah that's always a concern. Well be safe in the knowledge that every action you take is the one you're supposed to take. If you get addicted and suffer then you'll beat that addiction and come back stronger, or not. But it's not up to us. It sounds to me like God wants to experience Modafinil though your specific slice of consciousness. What can you do eh? If you end up an addict then you'll certainly be a very conscious one. Allow your fears to be there, let go of the need to control them, sit back and enjoy the show You'll be groovy

@kira Hey Kira, glad to hear you're on board the Modafinil train Yeah keep us updated for sure. My ability to reside in 'being' has gone through the roof since I started taking it. Monkey mind has left the building.

Ok, this is good stuff right here. You're saying that the key is 'surrendering' so you can enter the non-egoic state. One question I have here is - can you make decisions from a post egoic state? Or can they only be made from the egoic state?

@Solace That was beautiful, thank you @TheAvatarState So if I was to live like this, it would feel like just living from the heart, from love and basically letting go of all resistance? I can dig that. You're right, I really don't want that kind of power lol. I've demonstrated thus far in my life that I'm rubbish at making choices as an ego. I'll connect with my true nature and let God take over I think.

@ajasatya So if I make a choice on the level of ego and it leads to unconsciousness or suffering, that was still God's will? Just a deluded God, thinking it's a self? And the purpose there was to experience suffering....

So on the surface that looks like a choice happening, but really, it's cause and effect. Will I or won't I depends on what's been predetermined. The choice will always be made for me. I sure hope the choice, or whatever we want to call it, leads to some joy lol. Love your post by the way. I I feel you nailed this one. If I had to choose something for myself it would be that I choose to keep doing the practices, take a load of psychedelics and become fully enlightened. Maybe I'll write God a kind of Christmas list and see if he takes pity on me

@Mu_ Thanks dude, that's helpful. No more but buts

Any good tips on how to get there? The usually stuff, self enquiry, psychedelics etc?

So if you haven't experienced the underlying formlessness then forms have the potential to cause suffering? If I have experienced it I can become away that forms are just a manifestation of formlessness and love them all no matter what they are, hence the love simulator analogy Leo mentioned.... Thanks for all that Jack. Will ponder your words some more. @Serotoninluv Thanks dude. Gonna soak that in and come back at you with questions if needed. My brains is starting to fizzle so I think I need to do some self enquiry to connect to some that's real instead of bouncing around all these concepts. It's all useful though. I can see how the right theory can save you a lot of hassle.

So if you killed someone would that be God making a low consciousness decision, or God, deluded into thinking he's an ego making a decision, not realising he's deluded. I think this gets to the heart of my question.