Wisebaxter

@cetus56 Rupert Spira says there is one consciousness but all these different people (egos) having a unique experience of it. That does explain a lot

@cetus56 Thanks for reminding me of that, very good point.

Thank you I feel ok now, not stressed or anything. Whatever the truth is, I accept it. I don't need to know what it is in order to surrender to it and bask in the magic of existence.

@Serotoninluv @Nahm I like this perspective. There does seems to be a negative connotation attached to the word 'illusion,' but why? Perhaps it gets lumped in with 'delusion.' Well she's quite a pleasant illusion, that's for sure. The nicest illusory girlfriend I've had so far. Thanks to all of you for taking the time to contribute to this thread with your ideas and insights. As I raise my consciousness I may develop a deeper understanding, experientially. For now I'll just stay present and enjoy what's there. I think I understand things a little more than I did conceptually, which is that she is really there, as much as I'm really here, even if it constitutes an illusion. This is because, in terms of duality both existence and non-existence are the same thing. She's experiencing what it's like to be in her space, as an ego I mean, just like I am. But behind that there is the infinite awareness that permeates both of us, which is absolute, which is one-ness. This is what Leo meant by 'you are all there is.'

@Shin Or you're just messing with yourself

Good point there, thanks. I'll make room for surrender and peace instead That's awesome, I like it. Just like a pool of water reacts if I poke that. Is the external intelligence in presence the same as the external intelligence in my hand? Is it awareness?

@Leo Gura Ok, groovy, I think i get it now. In an absolute sense there's just myself, but in a relative sense, there are many different forms having a relative experience.

I just leant over and poked her in the arm...she feels really solid...she's looking at me funny now. Ok, I'll forget it all and stay present.

She's sitting next to me now...how should I act?

@Leo Gura Ok, that's cleared things up a bit, thanks. I was seeing existence and non-existence through an egoic perspective. So from an ego's perspective, she exists but in terms of the true Self, there is just me aka God

@Shin No, I'd have to say that the image appears very clear to me. My experience is, the image is there... @ajasatya Thank you, that's very helpful and clear. What would you say is the best way to get a mystical experience under my belt quickly? I have some LSD but people are saying ego death on that is very unpleasant. 5-MeO DMT? Or just loads of self inquiry?

@Leo Gura Does that mean that the stuff she comes out with, when she talks, is just a projection of my mind? It's whatever I think she should say? Just like you're typing whatever I think you should type? Also, aren't you having the same experience in your relative field, which means everything is you. So everything is both me and you....that's starting to make sense. So you do exist there as a thing....but it's the context of what you are as that thing that needs to be examined... But if everything I do is your projection and everything you do is my projection...who's projection is the correct one? What I'm basically asking is, are you there Leo....are you really there? You seem to be. I've been watching your videos for years and learning so much. Or have I just been creating you in my experience and teaching myself?

Thanks man I'll do that

@Bluebird Yeah you mentioned this before when I was gearing up for my first trip. Sounds really tough dude, I'm sorry you had that experience. I'm not going to take 600ug so I don't think I need a trip sitter. I don't have anyone for that anyway. Thank you for the warning though. I hope you feel better soon and work through those emotions ok

@Leo Gura there's a lot of conflicting viewpoints on this thread, which is the problem when dealing with language I suppose. Some say she's all that exists, that she's the truth, others are saying she's both real and illusion...you're saying she's pure fiction. I think I'll have to just go with what's there for now

@Truth Addict @Sven lol, nice one dude. This is the question that needs to be answered by the non-dual community. Basically Leo mentions in one if his videos that we're the only thing that exists, or something along those lines.

@Shin just the truth, no matter what

Really? That kind of sucks. Thanks for the heads up though

The paradox seems to be that there is more to my direct experience than what I currently have access to, e.g, all of this 'illusion stuff.' Enlightened folk say they're directly aware that everything is illusion, but that's certainly not in my experience right now

Haha yeah, I'm basically saying I want to die. Well something does, maybe the ego as it thinks it'll gain something from it. Whereas really the ego will shit it's pants

@TheAvatarState I've done 150ug and I was fine, I reckon it'll be cool without a trip sitter. I don't have one anyway.

I really want to get a taste of that sweet, sweet non existence in my experience,

Thanks dude, feeling a little disheartened right now as I still haven't had an actual non-dual experience and I've amassed all these theories which are weighing me down. I'm gonna drop that 200ug of LSD in a few days I think.

@TheAvatarState Ok, that's clear, thank you. I am feeling very egoic right now. Perhaps my confusion lies in the non-dual nature of things, in other words, that things both exist and don't exist. I'm just trying to get that in my experience but I guess I'll need to do more of the practices for that.

Ok, but I thought I was supposed to be living in a dream, an illusion...