Christer

I love you, Leo <3

Yes, dear friend. Beautiful said, and good reminder. Thank you, Moment! Your story is beautiful. We've been reminded about this throughout this post, and I choose to see it as a whole. The wave has a top and bottom, but they are intimately connected. The pendulum swings. Winter and summer. Night and day. I do enjoy to get a bit lost and to get back, fast and go higher than before. It's easy to see now that the peak was only reachable by a lower point. This will not be forgotten. And when you are at the peak, you notice a higher peak beyond, which makes the peak you're standing on lower. So the low was high. It certainly eliminates both.

I can sense that too, seing that hes hole life is now built around a business. Whatever fits him fits him, but he can still be of use, and I mean this sincere. I have to say that hes wife clearly says in our sessions that LOC 1000 is the beginning, and then you will go infinite beyond that. My total extinction of perception is a radical consciousness level, the absolute biggest I`ve had, which was given by a shaktipat, which was "educated" from Ramaji personally. So, it`s mere a tool to create new ideas, higher ideas, to experience yourself as a better and greater version of yourself. And that road will definately make me happy, as I will constantly be involved in the works of consciousness. As you, you are dealing with a lot of lower states here with us, and I bet it does make you a better version of yourself daily to progress that :-) I want to admit that I am not sensing any bullshit, what so ever. It`s actually truly inspiring and exciting to hear that. The idea was present before, cause you just sink constantly into more and more of "that", so 1000 was just the beginning. And so much of your teaching has given me true experience of non-dual states. Cause I had no idea. All this "stuff" adds up, yes. There. But back Here, if you will, it`s remains itself as pure. Jumping back and forward between is beautiful. I love your stuff :-) Your "stuff" has helped collecting bits into one single piece, over and over again. Helping me see earth as one single cell, if you will. And then all other stuff fades, and my own luggage remains.

One could only wish for such a hammer to hammer on. Nothing more, just that hammer to hammer on.

Thank you for that great reminder. Now one is under Ramaji (LOC 1000 author) and he's wife to assist me further into deepening and to find shaktipat. As you said in your last video, going away for deepening and explore healing, this "letting" of consciousness is absolutely true. But I do wonder, if one could ever so possible evolve beyond shaktipat. The idea is there, so I would say so. I don`t want to stop, ever. I've noticed that absorption happening in experience the last few weeks. Now I literally have no irl friends, which is great. I know you're well evolved, so opening me up for absorption from "your" consciousness, doesn't seem such a bad idea for me :-) So trusting would imply surrendering and opening up for higher change. Words are words, yes utterly blabla, but are they not a projectile of your consciousness, coming and settling in me? There are fireballs, brother.

This time, I cried and I started to swet. You`ve given me everything I needed to move onward, my dear friend. Everything is within your posts. I have no words. Me and my 50 or so plants (I have a very green appartement, but lacking the dreamboard) are very happy. I`ve already started to let go. I want you to know you`ve truly given me a bonfire. My gratitude is so big and deep. I love you <3

I had to take a shower after reading your reply, Nahm. My head was pumping. I will re-read this over and over and over, cause it`s so much to get from this. You’re believing oil & water mix there, with the desire & fear. They won’t, which is exactly what you are experiencing & discovering. You’re creating fear, so you can’t possibly integrate it. I would contemplate what “integrate” actually means to you. What “second thing” do you figure you’re integrating? Where exactly are you believing fear is coming from? If you’re going to believe in believing, at least make it love, or empowerment. I’d let go so the real deal can fill ya up. Just an opinion though. You might find there is but one source, and it neither contains nor offers, fear. This is very important to me, as fear is waking up in me every evening. Faces of monsters appear from white "moist" when I close my eyes, or have them open in the dark. It keeps me away from building one of my big passions, my loving trips into nature with my tent. Cause I am shit scared of especially aliens to appear. It´s this sensation that something is there in the dark. I don`t know if "third eye" has something do do with it. I try not to go into that. But I see a dark blue tunnel and "eye of horus" appearing, many of them, and scary faces. Is this also just absolutely bullcrap? My second belief is that my unintegrated emotions will be integrated. That is, the dense areas in my body that gives faint echoes of really painful hurt and dispair. A feeling of not wanting to be alive, abandonment; in the abdomen and plexus, and choking sensations in my chest and throat. Integration for me means to put things back into it`s rightful place, and the only way out is through. All the rest is a huge stick punching me. I can`t thank you enough... This is Exactly what I wanted, black and white, concrete. I will print this out and have it with me. Really, thank you <3

Do you mean meditate on the concept focusing ? Because you can't focus on focusing itself, you need something to focus on and that already collapses in on itself. I mean, meditate on the sensation of focus. As of now, I meditate 15 minutes as the first thing after I wake up in the mornings. It tends to change, to be on the fullness of "feeling of me"(how good it feels to be without a limit), hardened places in my abdominal (emotional; not very good feeling of butterflies going from abdomen up to the chest, anxiety), and to notice all my worry. Actually, I have no fixed meditation point that I do every day. It tends to change daily. Its more like a stream. But it seems primordial.

So by focusing, we`re creating, cause we "add more". But we want to reverse this in meditation, right? So, you can get enough consciousness to get deeper and deeper awakenings, but getting more conscious is seeing more/adding more/creating more? While if you meditate on focus itself, it should reverse, strip and dissolve itself instead of adding, if I am seeing it correctly? Two sides, both gets you to deeper states? I`m a bit confused.

Haha, great. One truly wish for that dawn do be "final", and to come asap. So one could get a huge checkpoint, a huge fully-integrated realisation, to live it and from it, in total awareness and start doing my passion; to aid others. Then get new ideas of how to experience my self.

Can you deepen your explanation, mandyjw? In your ignore-ance you'd actually be focusing somewhat, aware of, the thing you aren't choosing to focus on. How then do one lazor in on one point, when all other points are to be excluded. The mind will flicker. Meditation is then a dual activity since, as you`re saying, one is included but the rest is excluded, yet the excluded remains in awareness. This is very interesting.

Yes, exactly! And then you wonder, with the schematics of the thoughts; "well, if there are just thoughts, which there clearly is, how come it still acts as a seperate entity, and how does it manage to solidify itself? Still, after all this seeing! The sense of "I am" is somewhat solid at center, more like a reference point, yet the edges of it has vanished. In the huge schematic of the thoughts, a pointer is moving like a nodule giving light to the momentarily thought, moving throught the structure in a fixed pattern. Some "lines" will lead to an exit/edge where more consciousness is recieved; but it is still inside the schematic itself. The entire feeling of "I am-ness" is seperate, kinda like a blurr in the back, yet this nodule/me is racing through the already existing patterns. And it knows what comes ahead. Of course it does, it made it. The sense of "I am" is the soil. Above that, a tree hoovers, where the trunk is not connected to the soil at all, and the branches and leaves, depending on its solid mass, acts as hardened thoughts. The nodule, "me" moves in the lines and veins of the structure, always "inside" something. I miss and wish to re-member, and live, from the soil. And somehow knowledge is overridden. What the fuck do one do.

We have yet to see such a wizard. That`s a great idea. No, I`ve never tried compunds to yield psychedelic effects. I`m scared. Nonetheless, I desire that fear to be integrated. That awakening was after a shaktipat. I contacted Ramaji, author of "LOC-1000, levels of concsiousness" after finding and reading it on your book list. I had several transmissions, several big awakenings. As I understand, you go up then you go down to integrate. I`m also currently under "education" from him to become a RASA giver, which is a part of my frustration; these long periods of frustrating exhales. I trust you entirely, not just as guidance, but as a pointer.

That Zen story made me burst out in laughter :-))) I get the point. As I`m loving to play Dark Souls at the moment, which by it self is a emotional ride of frustration and glory, I see the frustration of "not doing what I should" come. I see it, recognize it and continue to play. But it lingers! So I put love into awareness and hold it up in front to be looked at, which has a tendency to amplify it. Whatever you focus, you bring more of. It gravitate. So instead being the victim, coming from a place of "I have peace, I have mindfulness, I have total awareness" will alter immidiately, but the backpack has magnetic, heavy stones; you truly want and desire to love every up and down but the stones are heavy. And Leo, dear friend, please answer this following question. It would mean the world to get your lazor. It implies the same content. 1 year ago I entered total awareness, awareness not even aware of it self. Just this "space" and "I" was not there. "I" came up as the First idea, in that. Slowly one thought after another, I got constructed in awareness, as single individual ideas, one after another - My name, my body, eventually time, my job and life etc. "Total me" woke up and I could not move. It was like I woke up from 4 marathons. Few scattered thoughts flew around. It took me over one hour to stand up from a laying position, and many hours had passed inside total awareness, which was literally a blink of an eye, faster. Not there, really. The thing is, here I am asking the above questions. It makes me feel utterly disgusted. I will consider that a true realisation of No Self, a total extinction. I`ve trusted in the process knowing I had to go down into shit to integrate. In zen it`s said to take 7 years to integrate Awakening, cause your life has to be re-constructed, which is a part of the totality of The Process. I`ve had several "deaths" to come after, mostly in lucid. So, how the FUCK can I have such bitching problems and fuck around here, when I clearly saw I was not?

As we're emptying, does that mean forgetting is good? Cause I understand that being less is being more. This confuses me.