Bluebird

Definitely starting to lose touch with what I once thought was reality. To the point that it seems funny that I am even writing this to "YOU" at all. I just had an experience where I couldn't distinguish if it happened in my head or in reality, they sort of merged into one happening. My thoughts, deepest fears, egoic past trauma, and reality all caught up in this terrifying synchronistic event. Out and in no longer made sense as a distinction it was all simultaneously within and somehow also out. Consciousness became aware that the only version of the dream that is happening is right here and now. Literally what's in front of me, and there is no other dream at all. Yet they're all happening all at once and it's me interacting with different me's at different points in an arbitrary timeline. Consciousness you trippy motherfucker. This is such a beautiful mindfuck that the only thing left to do is laugh about it and admire it from within it. This is so hard to write, since everything I'm writing seems pointless and self-negating. Writing this is so meaningless, just an empty call into the void, why hello there void. Every time I get back to this state a bit more I always appreciate Leo's ability to express it. It's no easy task. Already I can feel the ego backlash, no doubt that's why I'm writing here. The ego backlash is sneaky, the backlash is no longer becoming about "bad" pulls but very good pulls. The pull to communicate, to be with another person, to write here, to go out and improve stuff. Well I can feel that it is still the ego backlash, it knows I haven't given into the vices so it tempts me with the "virtues". Welp, we're all in this together. Quite literally! And as a final reminder, you are here entirely for yourself, to experience all this beauty. Right now. There literally is nothing else. So breathe in and admire the beauty

Feels good ay

Take a break no problem. Watch closely your relationships to all women, to the feminine as a whole. Watch what comes your way and it will give you an opportunity to continue doing the work and developing by seeing where your residual blocks are.

@MisterMan Oh shit, hey me, how's the view over in that NOW?

@Eric Tarpall Has a point. Love the fact that you suck, then investigate if that belief is actually true or if it is just in fact a belief (a thought).

Many different angles: Health, environmental, sustainability, ethics, futurism, etc. Take your pick, of course ultimately the ethical argument can be deconstructed, as can all the points to some degree. The only perspective that really matters is your own. Particularly from the health perspective, so eat a lot of meat, then go vegan for a few months, then eat meat again, see if there is any difference (but be highly conscious of the body during the eating and digesting phase). Eating meat may be a non-issue. Do you really want to find out in your own experience?

@Sukhpaal Deep inquiry seems to help. Asking why, exploring in your direct experience and letting go of emotions that arise. The Work of Byron Katie and Letting Go by David Hawkins are the two most impactful books I've ever read and applied in this regard.

Big five if you want the most scientifically validated psychometric test: https://www.purposefinder.io/tracks/big-five

@ivankiss I wouldn't be who I am today without Leo. Or, maybe I would... Either way, I do love that man.

It's not really about being advanced. It's just increasingly more integrative and wide perspectives. Green can still be incredibly dysfunctional, especially at the personal level. I wouldn't call that advanced.

@Anton Rogachevski This is basically Zen. What is the purpose of a diploma of Personal Development Expert? Let your actions and being speak for themselves.

Feel into the blockages, concentrate your energy on your root chakra. Breath deep into your abdomen. Observe deeply the feelings that arise when in sexual frustration and sexual flow and feel into them, let them go.

@Gabriel Antonio Can you be sure what you call natural is not an unnatural conditioned response. If I could experience euphoria or suffering, I know which one I would pick.

@Gabriel Antonio Would worrying or being upset help the situation?

@How to be wise I've been through this before, ever time I trip on LSD. My heart still had so many emotional blockages, that there was a deep and raw pain in my heart. And when I would feel into them and they would clear up a bit, it suddenly felt like I was just full of love and I couldn't help but let it overflow. But there was still pain there. If you're like me, the emotional blockages around your heart are causing a sharp or intense pain, like your heart is very very tender. I have been feeling into this more and more and it is doing wonders. Just feel more fully into the pain, and when you do the emotional blockage will exhaust itself and dissipate. Leaving more of the love behind.

Has anyone found music to be a sort of addiction that can clutter the mind or distort emotions of peace. Now I'm not rejecting music, I love music, but I think it might be starting to become an addiction. And escape from quietness or background noise. Has anyone chosen to cut out or cut down on music consumption and what has been your experience of this?

@Enlightened Indeed many facets and perspectives

When tired, rest. Lay down and see what happens.

@How to be wise I recently came to a similar conclusion. It's not about making an impact. It's about making love to the world from the core of your heart. I also had no motivation from making an impact, but expressing my love feels much more in alignment. I suppose stage orange (and yellow?) would be more motivated by making an impact, and green more about sharing your love in your unique way.

You are vegan or not no? Rather than assume intentions, look at reality. They are vegan. That is all there is to it that you can be sure of, right? Many people go vegan because of a fad and develop consciousness because of that. Who's to say they can't do that? No mistakes in the Universe.

Sort your life out, that seems productive and something you clearly want to do. Start eating healthy and exercising in some form as a start. Build your base up, then when you come back down from the glimpses of nonduality you'll love where you're at even more.

You and you alone. If you are healthy, the relationship is healthy. No two ways about it. I was similar, and it took a lot of courage to open myself back up to dating and relationships. And it's been a wild fucking ride of emotions. The Work of Byron Katie, and feeling into emotions that arise are helping me heal and become healthy. I'm not there yet, but working on it actively and it was the best (and one of the most painful) things I've done in years. Yourself. The idea that someone can let you down is just a belief, it's based on your expectations. It has nothing to do with them. "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie will help you see through the emotional complexes that will no doubt arise on this journey, it might be super painful, but I'm here with you man if you ever need to talk.

@Enlightened Dude, just start a journal haha

@CreamCat Lol what? Isn't any new and exciting field going to look completely different in ten years? How will Actualized.org look in ten years? I would guess different than it does now. Doesn't mean it's not working. Also, your information is a litle more advanced than is going to be useful for a beginner. That being said... This part is very good advice, a genuine interest in web development is great, but if you don't have that at all or haven't tried it out and are just fantasising. This is realistically a much better solution.

Simultaneously calling out the entire forum and yourself. Love it.