You are in a very unpleasant situation, and I can not envy you. Any divorce will somehow affect us and our former ones. You will only once and forever cease communication with this person - this is the only thing that will save your peace.
Not many people understand the divorce as the end of the relationship, continuing to torture their former ones. This can be connected with the process of divorce, for many it is long and very unpleasant. I was lucky to avoid it with right lawyers, who helped me a lot and divorce for me was a short period.