SageModeAustin

How can I let go of this I keep imagining what I could’ve done if I didn’t take her to the rsd tour and how she was so into me before that Also I had other options, abundance advice is overrated

@Emerald first of all I want to applaud you for giving the best analysis I have ever read in my entire life. Secondly, there is no doubt she liked me in the beginning/middle of the relationship. Ive only shown you the worst parts of this relationship. Thirdly, I couldn’t have told her any of that in person because she ended it and there was nil chance of getting her to go out with me again. I even tried calling her once she ended it over text and she was not having it. Fourthly, I know taking her to the rsd thing was royally retarded, but my reasoning behind it was because I wanted to show her who I am. I should’ve owned up to it, but whatever. In conclusion, is there anyway I can talk to you over something more convenient like Facebook messenger? There’s just so much context to this. Maybe I can even pay you or something there’s lots I want to discuss like how to get over this and accept the situation

Honestly im just so mad at how I knew/read about all the things that I did wrong. Like really, really fucking mad. I lost my chance with a girl I really digged due to my incompetencies.

You guys were both right. @Emerald @flowboy ALSO, there was times when I was more open with my communication that flowboy would indicate as"neediness" that made things much much better between us. Especially since she's very insecure she misinterprets everything within her own reality, so communication is very important even if it seems needy or whatever. It's like yin/yang and all this RSD shit aren't rules they are guidelines.Hell, you can be needy sometimes and it will work out better for you than not in certain situations So basically the first two months she was very into me, pursuing me, ditching other guys for me, etc. Then once we built an emotional connection and things started getting more serious (meeting her mom, sleeping over more, her making me dinner, watching movies together, getting dinner, basically what girlfriend/boyfriend would do, I began to get a bit more needy. I tried hiding it, but this just fucked me up even more. The neediness caused her to lose some attraction.I didn't remain grounded with who I was, lost sight of me and boom done. Now she hates me. She ended it yesterday. Lasted 4 months.

Hey guys I hung out with this girl that I've had a fwb relationship with for two months now and I blew it. I was sick/negative mood and it just ended so terribly. She stated before that she likes her ex still and she said he just got out of jail. So when she was texting him (hes in texas) and getting really happy it triggered the shiit out of me although i tried to act un-phased. I just need some god honest help, really struggling here. The weird thing is that yesterday we hung out and it went soooooo well. We watched end game and the whole night just went perfectly. Compared to this I'm just so confused as to how easily it can flip..

FWB-took her to free tour- knows i do game-ever since then its been this weird jealousy games/playing games in general, but we both like each other. How do I come from a place of genuine/naturalness especially when she knows what game is? We've known each other for 2 months now. First month was great, second month is bumpy because of this

@SFRL Yeah it's only been two months. I'm gonna take things reaallll slow. Like really slow. I'm not gonna hint the relationship idea, I'll let her decide. Thanks man.

@SFRL @Shin @Flatworld Crusades Thing is, it's much much more complicated than that little paragraph that I wrote above. There's so much context. Main points: First month was good between us then I decided to take her to a pick-up dating/personal development seminar. A bunch of guys hit on her. I got jealous. I hit on other girls. She got jealous. At the end of the night we hooked up still and sort of made up (she said I didn't like any of those guys and that I said yeah sorry I just get kind of weird like that, something along those lines). Problem: That night changed the dynamic. It created a jealousy game between us. Another example: At the gym some girl randomly decided to help keep my back from swinging when I was doing leg raises. She got really silent and in her head the rest of the workout and we talked about it after and she said yeah i just felt like "why is this bitch touching my man" She would also ask me if I ever hooked up with any girls at the bar from that one night after the personal development event There's so many jealousy example from both sides (i just can't think of all of them right now) One time she was telling me about this other guy that wants to keep hanging out with her, but she said she's been ignoring him because she's been spending all of her time with me. I told her that well I have a date tonight with a korean/italian girl that wants to go drinking, but I don't want to really go because I'm with you right now. (Not what I meant to say at all). That same day I tried to say hey I didn't mean to say I'd rather hook up with other girls or anything like that and she got really mad, and said I don't give a fuck who you hook up with,etc. Then some shit went down (bad energies): She clarified that she only wanted a friends with benefits relationship. Then said "i think this has hit the end of its line" and i agreed. Idk what happened, but we ended up going to the bars and we both opened up about stuff and she told me she still likes her ex. I said I understand, allg, had sex that night and the next morning I dropped her off at work expecting to never see or hear from her again. I hook up with another girl that day, expecting all is done with her then she hits me up to hangout. I was very surprised and at this point and was then convinced that she doesn't know what the fuck she wants and as long as I keep my cool I could possibly land a relationship with her. During the first month I mistakenly asked for a relationship (which you never fucking do as a guy), she said she's been thinking about it but she doesn't know. Then another time she said I've been thinking about what you asked, but I want to make sure there's no cheating. Another time we drank wine and we talked about if we've hooked up with anyone recently and we both said no like a month ago. That night was awesome. I really enjoyed that night. Another time we were hanging out in her house and her sister walked in asking if we were dating. She said fwb and i said somewhere in between (ouch). Haha She says she wants fwb (which I do believe she just does want that), BUT at times she sends me mixed signals. Like she'll ask me if I want to watch a movie with her and pay for my ticket + buy me food. OR she'll make me cauliflower soup at her house, or just sometimes the way she kisses me when we are at the beach or something. basically I think I have a chance of having her as a girlfriend, if i keep my cool, have an amazing time with her every time we are together and just kinda be there for her as well. Whilst not being an emotional leach, or being needy at all.

NEGATIVE AFFIRMATIONS. This especially works if your depressed it will make you fucking angry. Anger can easily make you motivated to work harder and become a better version of yourself. important point: IT HAS TO BE AFFIRMATIONS THAT TRIGGER YOU. Like if you legitimately can't control your emotions then you would say “I’m a bitch who can’t control his emotions” By acknowledgment you integrate the shadow and the shadow holds a great deal of energy almost as much as that of the ego (maybe even MORE)

My ego conned me. I’ve lost my center. I’m back guys

@Adam M It's hard to say

I think it would be a really good idea to create a trauma release program, the ones that you pay for like the life purpose program because all of us have it and we aren't even aware of it. It affects us daily, how we act, how we think, how we react, it literally runs us completely. To let this go..is to become enlightened I believe and is very very important. @Leo Gura

I have this problem and I've been staring at myself in the mirror every morning from my "worst angles" that trigger me. I do this for two minutes and feel into all of the feelings that come up and not judging them as "bad emotions" rather just completely accepting them. For example ask yourself: What does it feel like to not be able to accept yourself? Accept that. What does it feel like to be angry that you cannot accept that you cannot accept yourself? Accept that. Eventually you'll break down the resistance layer by layer and tune into your authentic self

Whenever I get close to a woman, I ghost. I'm afraid of getting truly heartbroken which is why I've never really dated anyone in my life. Even if we have connection, I try to avoid it at all costs.

Long story short: I got surgery as a teenager and fucked up my face. Ever since then I lost all confidence and can't love myself and have serious self-esteem issues. I've been doing the Six Pillars of Self Esteem exercises and they are fucking bruutal. Either way I just feel like I'm not enough and Nathaniel Branden would say to this "accept feeling like your not enough." To which I am trying to, but Idk. Is this really as good as it gets? It is, isn't it

@Salvijus I think you're right.

@flowboy I'm willing to be vulnerable from now on. Or at least try to. "You can't win if you're not willing to lose." Do you usually spit gold sir?

@NoSelfSelf @flowboy So..be vulnerable?

@Nahm Thankyou.

So, a bit over a month ago I have been doing death contemplations daily before bed for 25 minutes. Death contemplations are legit. The most noticeable effect I've noticed is a deep inspiration within me is beginning to embody my entire being and the very way I live my life. It is literally "pointing" me to my true goals in life..also me finishing the life purpose course a bit over a month ago is definitely playing a HUGE part into this change, but I still believe that these death contemplations are also highly contributed. Ty. @Leo Gura for all your work and BTW are the tours still happening? I definitely want to attend one of those before I die. Lol. "limitation in the possibility of an enjoyment raises the value of the enjoyment" - Sigmund Freud "It is only in the face of death that man's self is born" - Saint Augustine "Though the physicality of death destroys an individual, the idea of death can save him" - Irvin Yalom "The price of anything is the amount of life you exchange for it" - Henry David Thoreau

Anyone else feeling this?

how do u guys maintain motivation when dealing with things like depression and ocd?

whats the point of it all? We all start as innocent children filled with joy and as life goes on it gets taken from us. Our views get distorted and we become rigid and in pain. We die with dreams we once had as kids, some of us fulfilling them some of us not, but in the end its all meaningless. THere is INFINITE SUFFERING its happening everywhere and its fucking bullshit! What's the point of me trying to get a PhD in neuropsychology?! Hah! Me pretending that I can help end this universal suffering by doing so is fucking NAIVE! HAHAHA what a fucking fool I am. A damned fool.

So I woke up today just thinking to myself what is my life purpose what would I want to do with my life? I went on a walk around my neighborhood and just kept thinking about this question. I saw my friends dad smoking outside and he is a successful engineer so I decided to ask him some questions. First I asked him if when he was my age (22) did he know he wanted to do what he is doing today and he said I knew when I was 12. I then asked him if engineering is something he enjoys to the point he would be willing to work for free or even pay someone to allow him to do the work. He then lectured about me how that is too extreme thinking and that you shouldn't follow your passion because you need money. I then told him that isn't that the reason why most people aren't doing the things that they truly want then? He said yes, but you need money it all comes down to balance. I agree somewhat, but now I am about to watch video 30. Concepts: Detach from Money from leos life purpose course. How ironic that I happen to be on this exact video at this exact time.

I am amazed at how much value it is giving me. I can tell Leo really fucking cares about what he is talking about because he starts to tear up. Thank you Leo.