Iiris

Yoga ✅ 30min Meditation ✅ 10min alone Sleep No electronics ✅ Bedtime ✅ I slept over 8 hours!!!! And I'm having a day off work today and still got out of bed before noon! This seems like a pretty good day, finallly I was going through a dancing themed thread here this morning and dancing to some of the songs there, it was great. I need to dance more. It's a great way to connect to music. Also increases body awareness and stops me from overthinking. It makes me feel better overall I love dancing to this song, the verse is very rhythmic

Yess I love dancing, definitely need to start doing it more

Yoga ✅ 30min Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep No electronics ❌ Bedtime ❌ Went and got drunk yesterday evening. I hate drinking but I guess I do it because everyone else does it and it helps me to deal with people. Alcohol doubles all my depressive emotions. And gives me hangover. I just hate it I had work the next day so I got home at 23:30, managed to meditate after that. But it wasn't enjoyable the more I focused on the present the more I felt like throwing up. Did the sentence completions again, went to sleep at 1. 7.5 hours of drunken sleep. Which equals to very little sleep. Whenever I do something dumb this journal gets more interesting, I guess I should do more dumb things For some reason I started to practise my signature on the notebook. I've never had a proper signature but I guess I have now

Really like this cover

My mom has told me to read one article from the newspaper, I said I'll read it but I never did, now I found the article laid out on my room table :DD I guess she's tired of my bullshit I've been talking to her about developmental psychology, the article is about it. Some Robert Kegan has figured out 5 different stages of development. Basically second stage is red/orange, third stage is blue, fourth is green, fifth is yellow. It's pretty interesting I'm always excited when they talk about this stuff on more mainstream media. They left out the first spiral dynamics stages and kind of left out orange. I think because orange is so common that it's hard to notice Yoga ✅ 30min Meditation ❌ Sleep No electronics ❌ Bedtime ❌ Yesterday was a total flop. I guess it's normal to flop once in a while. Slept 3.5 hours. Went to sleep at 5am, I was watching youtube and even participated on the forum conversations here which I rarely do. Basically sent one video to a personality types thread And I didn't do the sentence completions last evening and this morning. Whyy am I doing this to myself? Don't know if that question helps anymore

I could tone down the sarcasm a bit sometimes. I tend to hide my hurt and shame behind it. Yoga ✅ 30min Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep No electronics ✅ Bedtime ✅ Got 7-7.5 hours of sleep. Sometimes I think I'm a special snowflake, but I'm not really, I'm just about the same and as lost as everyone else. Going through the same cycles of lots of laziness and less laziness, then lots of laziness again. Yesterday I managed to procrastinate my morning yoga until 10pm, I guess that isn't really morning yoga anymore. Then when I did it I realized, it wasn't that terrible after all! I didn't die, only my bad mood died

It's a beautiful song

Yoga ✅ 20min Meditation ✅ 10min guided Sleep No electronics ❌ Bedtime ❌ I have no excuses for the sleep thing this time, I was procranastinating and I managed to get myself to bed at 00:30 because that Had a day off from work and an EXTREMELY slow morning again. I can't even tell how slow. I feel quilty because I was supposed to do lots of stuff today. I'm afraid of dissappointing people and being a dissappointment. I'm always doing everyhting I can to not dissappoint people, and it takes away enormous amounts of energy. My father's way of raising his kids has always been, act very dissappointed if you want to change their behavior. Bringing up the dysfunctional relationship with my father again, yayyay, flashbacks to my last journal

Reallly appreciated the J.D Souther song posted here

Yoga ✅ 30min Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep No electronics ✅ Bedtime ✅ Woke up too early, fell asleep again, then my alarm rang. Slept 7-7.5 hours. I've been feeling like an asshole lately. Last time I cried myself to sleep was during final exams, now it happened again. It's very relieving I should do it more often. Feeling lonely. It's a shitty feeling but there's something beautiful about that melancholia. I'm quite tired, it's probably why I'm feeling a bit down rn

I should probably figure out how to spell words before I use them pretending I understand them Yoga ✅ 5min Meditation ✅ 15min guided Sleep No electronics ✅ Bedtime ✅ I planned to do more yoga in the evening but I had a life purpose related crisis. I was also planning not overthink in bed but, well I did. Happened again. 6.5 hours of sleep I didn't eat breakfast today. I ALWAYS eat breakfast, so something's wrong. My mood last evening and today is well represented by this picture: I need meditation. And sleep. I need to relax

Yoga ✅ 20min Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep No electronics ❌ I went and opened my phone for 20 seconds after I went to bed Bedtime ✅ I'm able to sing the song now I slept almost 7,5 hours. I woke up 10 minutes before my alarm. I'm going to take a nap today My tooth hurts. And it has a brown spot. I probably need to call the dentist. I got my wisdom teeth removed a month ago and I couldn't brush that spot. So I guess it's from that.

Alright, I was anticipating this would happen. But I cannot sing that song because I start crying immediately. I'll try again later. Yoga ✅ 30min Meditation ✅ 15min guided Sleep No electronics ❌ Bedtime ❌ I went to bed at 2am and woke up too early at 8. I had to drive my dog + slightly drunk parents and uncle around the town at midnight. I have no idea why they had to take the dog too. But I didn't mind driving them around. My dad and his brother are a pretty funny duo. Last night was the first time I didn't do the sentence completion exercise. I did 2 sentences and then I was like fuck this I'm going to sleep. I did it this morning though. But then after it I spend bit too much time on Youtube. Which means way too much time. It looks like whenever I have a day off from work I'm unable start my day properly. I'll let myself go to bed before 00:00 when I don't have work the next day. If I have work it's 23:30.

Yess! I might have to go play and sing it later myself Glad you enjoyed it, I love the saxophone too

Yoga ✅ 35min Meditation ✅15min alone Sleep No electronics ✅ Bedtime ✅ I ended up running to my bed Usain Bolt style so I could manage to be there at 23:30. I'm pretty sure I still was there at 23:31 but I didn't look at the clock so there's no proof for that, let's just pretend I was early enough. I know this isn't very amazing. I could do stuff a bit earlier in the day so I wouldn't have to hurry in the evening, It's nice to replace the word 'should' with 'could' sometimes The new blanket was nice and cool. And we had air contidioning on, more nice and cool. I still woke up too early. But then I fell asleep again. But then my alarm rang. I think I slept almost 7,5 hours. I'm listening right now to this song that was posted in the Music thread, it makes me real happy

Yoga ✅ 35min Meditation ✅ 1h guided Sleep No electronics after 23:30 ✅ Bedtime 23:30 ✅ I'm pretty sure this is because of sleep deprivation. It makes me feel like life is a dream. I woke up too early again. Slept 7 hours. I still haven't changed my blanket. I'm doing it today. The meditation I did focused on body awareness. You were supposed to focus on the sensation only and not label anything. I found it nearly impossible. But I think I still found a new level of vulnerability. It's scary to let go of the notion of your body because it makes you lose all control. You become like a baby. I really do lack body awareness. I feel stuck everywhere and restless, and I have a need to constantly move. There actually is a word for self-compassion in my language. But no one uses it, the only person I've ever heard using it is my school psychologist. So it sounds weird. But if you use it enough it won't sound weird. So because I'm tired of the sentence I have in the sentence completion exercise rn I changed it to If I added 5% more self-compassion to my day I would...

Yoga ❌ I just forgot Meditation ✅ 15min alone Sleep No electronics ❌ Bedtime ❌ I literally went to bed at 00:01 and opened my phone at 00:01. But for the sake of honesty, I'm putting the red cross there. Slept 7 hours. I didn't wake up before my alarm! I've allowed myself to read the Yoga Nidra book and do the sentence completion exercise after midnight, but they take a lot of time. Because of that I think I should move the bedtime to 23:30. I'm going to go to bed before 23:30. This has been a good day. I've been feeling like I'm floating in self-compassion. And at the same time feeling less attached to myself. Feeling like water. I loved learning about brainwaves. It's such a simple thing that seems to be connected to a lot of other things. It's a shame they didn't talk about that stuff at school psychology. I always felt they just overcomplicate everything there. It's because they're trying to be scientific. But you need insight too, not just research results.

Yoga ✅ 35min, the one I did at 2pm, also the hanging thing Meditation ✅ 40min Rupert Spira one Sleep No electronics ✅ Bedtime ✅ I didn't wake up before my alarm, it's the first damn time in the last two weeks. I still slept just a little over 6 hours. Ughgh Why don't I meditate more? It's enjoyable and my thinking is so clear after. I almost have a desire to meditate. Yoga Nidra book is awesome. I get a lot of insight reading it I love the lyrics here:

Aah I haven't heard that song Landslide in a long time, I love it