Sadhak_David

I know people hate me for saying this probably, but I am going to say it hoping there might be a chance of benefit to you Paan. All these self yoga preachers, look at them, 8 years back, 4 years back , 2 years back and now... look at their eye brows, look at their bodies ... are they drinking soma? are their grey hairs turning black ? are they exuding clarity ? I told you before, you are losing Ojas .. lack energy and have some physio~psysho~biological loop that is regularly draining your vitality. It 'might' - just 'might- help you to not look for advice from unsuccessful unproven sources and internet noise, and take solace .. may be listen to your body, nerves, breath .. forget achieving instead put your mind behind healing & peace. I hope you don't end up like so many with unbalanced centres, who put up a good face on the outside world, but have a hell of a private life with all sorts of problems. needs a teacher, can you get frauded ? is there a chance ? sure yes- but still that's better to look in more real - more physical - world around you with all your senses and life more fully involved in the process... - you bring about the teacher, based on your 'sanchita karma' and if there is more un~success left. In lack of teacher, please take 'real everyday ' life as your teacher. your parents, girlfriends they are all imminent god's who care about you more then any of these internet avatars will ever do .. start with gratitude .. and forget yoga.. and in gratitude, some part of your body will dance... there will be sensations... and that will be a very good place to start Look at all these people in here ... show me one success story ... and for lord sakes, dont buy their "Oh we don't show of siddhis" line .. they don't show of because they don't have it. yogananda showed in death, haidakhan showed in life, there are many saints who dawned the successful results of their efforts... but i have to tell you, in my own personal experience more then 10 to 15 people - and almost all of them have been misguided through books, videos, internet chatter etc ... at the very beginning it starts with a strange sense of "feeling entitled" .. as if it is prevalent flavour of this time and age... for some reason, young paduwans today feel they deserve everything and they are entitled... nyways .. you might be pissed of at my rants, but its a brothers rant .. be well... listen a simple, loving life that recognizes the gifts of life right in front of you every day - is any day better yoga- then misguided practices. and regarding the dark side of yoga- in above video and content on similar lines on many other books and places- its all misguided undeserving karma brought imbalances. If one properly balances various centres, then the wisdom always leads the increase in various energies ...please take care of yourself, and dont loose the precious gifts of family and love in life . May the existence bless you . I wish you well.

Just to make sure i got this right, your forcing of breath seems to be during rechaka ( out-breath ) and then the upward turn goes fast ? is so then can you mention the exact point where you have the need to 'force' ? If the forcing happen after nabi-stala - zone somewhere in the domain of manipuraka and shrugging happens at the ending part of rechaka ( outbreath/exhale) - and then the 'upward turn' into inhale is 'uncontrollable and involuntary' - which is what i intuitively sense - if this is true, then your shukra is weak... and ojas is depleted. shukra - potential has to be built. remember chakra is not physical and neither does it have anything to do with organs/glands that it 'happens' to influence. however, the awareness and 'yield' of this depends on ones ability to retain 'I'. the fuel tank for this is ojas. if regularly shukra/semen is lost either in form of actual semen, or in form of obsessive discussions or in any other form of unnatural 'conflict' in the body-mind , then the 'vitae' does not 'travel' in the orbit of visibility of the 'I'. my teacher once told me, - yatho chitara - vyomam tata-tatapi madhye chakrastitah - and when my sister asked him what is vyomam which in center has the chakras, he said, it is not in center, but in its abode. as it is all manifested in pra-nada (unmanifest) - the chakra has no location in space, nor can be measured in time-lapses. hence, the way to do it, is by prana/force/vitae and that needs the 'I' in your to be continuous. bless you.

>> Thank you so much for reaching out and answer my conserns! You are very welcome. >> Ive recently ordered a bunch of yoga books from leos booklist so i can read and understand more what this yoga and kundalini is about. Yep, hope more 'knowledge' helps. But also pay attention to & listen to your body. Especially subtle sensations. Never ignore them as fleeting and ordinary. In my view upon 11 years of practice and limited success - there is no book that can teach anything after a certain point. life and your own body are true teachers. The heart in you that can transmit intuitive understanding clearly is of greatest asset. these terms are real, more real as printed text on a piece of paper. These are your assets. seek them, pursue them, and they will lead you well. >> How was it for you? Oh my journey has been weird and long, and do not want to bore you here with extra long text. in brief, in 2007 after making some preliminary mistakes, joined yogananda's and then was a happy proud practitioner. only to realize they were baby steps to teach the alphabets. Then was doing some practice and voracious reader I was. Was part of groups, similar to here, talking everything by the mind, using todays language and science to explain things. Talking about pranayams in terms of breath, breathless, inhale, exhale, etc. Talking off oxygen, pulling tongue every day. at one point even thought i will do what many in kriya have done. slit the tongue under slowly , applying tumeric & blacksalt, along with talabya to make tongue long. finally got my tongue long enough and in the right place, only to realise there is no elixir, and neither my grey hairs turned black, nor i entered any trance what so ever. got me agitated and screwed my digestion... But deep inside the heart that always guided me right, said i was doing major screw up. I would be able to hold breath for over 4 mins by then on intake and around 2 to 2.5 mins on out. I thought this was breathless. Little did i know, i was exercising physical tissues, putting pressure on diaphram and holding breath by locking muscles like 99.99% of sadhaks do. big mistake again. In 2009 while no miracle occurred , but things sure did start screwing up. Digestion faded. Got some shine on face, but with hyper activity. artificial alteration of breath imbalanced my breathing, which initially was mere nuisance but later realized its lasting and larger impacts on mind and body itself. heart started growing weak. sleep got fickle... eyebrows inside , due to pushing tongue hurt me... i was feeling, i have screwed big time... I was very concerned, and deeply scared. Finally visited doctors, and went for check up .... they told my heart beat was high, unusual blood pressure symptoms, and blood for some reason was thinner.... they were as confused and wanted to 'try' things on me... lol .. then ran away from there... Finally giving up on books, forms, fancy chat groups and all intellectual means, now helpless, made a big step to run to Calcutta . through delhi (by the way horrible city ) - then searched hard in Calcutta and varnasi, so many fake houses and gurus. By now i was very demanding, and not arrogantly, but because it meant life to me. literally - no room for more screwups. my overconfidence had backfired. I also completely stopped sharing or giving advice to anybody at all, knowing what consequences of UN-enlightened advice can bring first hand. Pls don't take me wrong, all knowledge is grace, but my personal story in truth is as i am saying it. again cutting very long story short, strange things happened, special days when i gave up .... final Thursday in Calcutta me somehow off my western craziness on cleanliness and worries etc, managed to dare to drink 'chai' on Calcutta road side.... special day... knew it since very morning... was a spiritual refugee ... sat by road corner near a sewer .... strange nothing bothered, not even the sewer smell .. and things started to change.. for the first time, visions, miraculous series of events... again long story short, had to come back to new york empty handed. but strange it did not feel empty. some clues... and finally what i truly needed right here on the continent in Canada somewhere... which is another strange tale for some other fortunate day. But i did not find my guide. I failed. But guidance found me. and kriya flourished after I failed. it is only 2+ years back i finally realized what kechari is. It has nothing to do with the tongue at all. ridiculous... >> why did you have to stop yoga for 3 months? Yes when I finally found a teacher, the little boy broke my arrogance. cooked for me. when i entered his door, the same chai i had in Calcutta awaited me on his table. strange emotions overpowered me. tears rolled... and in a matter of 24 hours, I slept, i woke up, full moon shined through the window.... Sat facing a young lad, and when he breath, i was breathing. by effort but not of me. his thumb on my forhead, i saw three kinds of light. he said some day you should achieve this by your own effort. But initially to come back to normalcy , I was given special diet, a tea recipe with saffron & cardamom, some other special medicines, a very strict food , space between food, and strict instructions on things to avoid ( for mind and body both ) after 3 months i felt like it was 2007 again. as if time had reversed. breath was normal, evenings i did not get depression cycles. Things stopped driving me mad. heart knew i was redeemed. but also lost a few things in life ... including my partner. but got back everything ... again including my partner. then Started with mere 12 pranayams... 2 times on 2 twilights every day.... was also given naabi, was given a separate om ritual, was given preparation for kechari, but nothing physical. was also given two asanas specific to my construct. now after so many years... when you type your issues, they sound as if its me talking all those years ago. hence you see me responding to you with interest and care. Om dear friend. As i said, books, forums, this very message i am writing, people like myself are all secondary. Mental understanding is not even tertiary.. after a point, it is the biggest hurdle .. please be warned. lesser contants in the mind the better in so many ways after a certain point. heart is surely your friend. those holy moments in a day when you feel specially auspicious... use them well & never waste them. during those special times, listen to what your inner mind / heart says ... get clues.... practice for very good reasons... and yoga will find you. there is no kriya .. there is no gnana, bakthi, there is nothing. there is just one yoga... Here some verses that has shaken my heart immensely and purified me. My small gifts for you : ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ haTa Yoga Pradipika, Chapter two , Verse 76 हटम विना राजयोगो राजयोगं विना हठ | न सिद्यस्थि ततो युग्म्मानिष्तेः समभ्ह्यासेथ् | haTa yoga (practice) without the rAja ( presence/Superior witness/self) , rAja (Superior witness / self / presence ) without practice/discipline never avails anything. both go hand in hand, in lock steps ! else there is certainly no success. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ यो पवथि सक्तिः विना , सक्थिर प्रज्ञय प्रतमहर्ह निर्जिता -- Trailanga Swami Varnasi. Who tried to raise without Saktih ( without the grace of the 'force' - without being able to detect and primarily work with 'force' ) ... <implied by naunce.. - its a lifetime of waste.. >... by great good fortune one achieves direct sense of 'force' and from there every possibility... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ haTa yoga pradipika chapter two, verse 16 Correct pranayama will weaken every disease, but improper practice of yoga will strengthen all misery(diseases - both body and mind). ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Good luck. I will check from time to time, out of affection and interest, to see your updates. Hari hara om ! Gurubyo Namah ! Om namah Shivaya ! Om ...

Paan, I registered in particular for this comment my friend. I have had very similar pattern in the beginning if not exactly same. I am inspired to answer many of your questions today. Before i say anything, i want you to clearly know that i am doing my best guesstimate ( and that is because i feel i can help you sharing my own experience ) >> Why do some people freak out or get scared by doing yoga wrong? Fear of death and decay - Fear of pain and harm. It comes from knowledge of 'consequences' of going wrong. and yet, there are 'Yogis' like Raavan and the like, who say "Whatever happens arises out of my own past, if it has to happen anyway, so be it" . To be more precise .. From my own fellow brothers, sisters and friends - Some of the major issues with kriya pranayams and especially bandha's going wrong are : Agony, Hyperactivity, Uncontrollable libido, Mental sickness, sometimes borderline madness and a very few cases of full madness. And one of the reasons i came for you, is also one symptom you have mentioned above. the drainage of vitality, lack of lustre over time, and tiredness. especially your mentioning of dizzy and nauseous tells me your out-breath is very short, fickle, and your life-force intake is (not air) is "shallow" , and your tummy is perhaps not expanding in a healthy manner. Don't be surprised if I was too accurate, that would be because I have faced this. These are time when one needs a guide .. an accomplished sage hopefully. >> After 4 months of kriya i feel totally exhausted during the days, completly drained. Also sometimes i feel dizzy and nauseous. This I touched on this topic above. Its my best guess and conviction, but I am not 100% sure. only a accomplished master can scan and be sure. If the symptoms i mentioned match closely, then Let me elaborate on this a bit more. this at the root has its cause as obstruction in the important pathways. this also hinders one from seeing any light at all in the kutasTha. once again this obstruction is further because of "unconscious" deep-seated patterns in ones psyche. often cellular and deep seated sub-concious conditions. For me it was fear of mortality, inherent fear of pain in any of its forms due to having terrible painful memories in the past. I have to come to terms with it. I can only be thankful for my teacher to be kind and helping me on this. I even had to stop doing kriya for over 3 months. >> Done KP 2 for some months. Should I progress my practice to kp1=12 reps kp2=12 reps kp3=12 reps In one ofthe previous ones, you even asked number of times and here the rounds. Both - you have to be careful. until 'sakthi/force' invites you, especially given your conditions, my opinion for what its worth is you should limit this. I hope these responses helps, however possible to find further pathways. I wish you very best & om.