mkrksms

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Everything posted by mkrksms

  1. Thanks! I’ve watched your video a long time ago, I will watch it again. Your answer really resonated in me. I’m sure this is a big part of my problem. But this also leads me to wonder if this isn’t the case for most people? Or what else is attraction? Is this just the destructive side of it? And furthermore I’m confused about if I should act on my feelings or not, if I should involve with romantic relationships at all since I have this problem. Most of my teenage- and adult life I was on and off into often times stormy relationships. But the last couple of years I’ve been alone a lot more and also in celibacy for longer periods of time. This has partly been a conscious choise, in the way that I avoid involving with people that I don’t feel very strong for. But this doesn’t seem to help with the core issue of course since I still fall in love with other people. But I don’t know which approach would be more healthy until I’ve resolved this at its core. It feels kinda weird anyway to be in a romantic relationship and be aware that the attraction is just a projection of ones own perceived deficiency. But I guess I just have no idea how a healthy and conscious romantic relationship looks like..
  2. So I’ve always had this problem of getting obsessed/”in love” with a person and it’s taking up all my attention and energy. Often times it’s also unrequited love which doesn’t make it easier. I know I must have some daddy issues but this reoccuring loop is seriously becoming way too pathetic. I don’t think I can handle this much longer. It’s standing in the way for me to focus wholeheartedly on any other ambition in life. But of course it must be my only true motivation and therefore also something I’m continuing to do more or less on purpose. Obviously I’m getting something out of it even though it’s slowly killing me and many times pushed me near the border of suicide etc. Please help me understand this. I want to focus on enlightenment work but how could I genuinely. I can’t seem to hold it up for a longer period of time. Sooner or later this shit is taking over me again and again no matter what. Another part of me just wanna find the love of my life. And a third part of me is guilt tripping and ridiculing myself because of this ”low consciousness” aspiration. And why the fuck do I keep getting obsessed with guys that doesn’t want me back.
  3. Thank you guys so much for your insightful answers! I will go through them again very carefully.
  4. How can it take only 20 min going through all the practices? How many Kriyas are you doing in one session? Please share an example if you want to!
  5. I tried to send you a PM but not sure if it went through
  6. How long does your daily kriya yoga routine take? If I don’t mistake in the beginning of one of the books in the booklist it says that in the end you shouldn’t do more than 20 minutes or so per day and then just focus on every day tasks in life... And then I was on a kriya yoga retreat recently and they presented several different programs - the full version was 4 hours long, the short is 3 hours and the ”mini program” is 2 hours. And it’s recommended that you do the full one most of the time. That’s fine but I don’t get if it’s more or less useless in the long run to do a shorter program if you can’t manage to spend many hours every day. I’ll try to puzzle my life so that I can continue with the longer practice if needed but I’m curious how you guys are doing.
  7. Dancing is seriously (can be) one of the deepest spiritual/meditative practises!!
  8. I quit alcohol 6-7 months ago, with one relapse ~4 months ago. Been an addict (not only alcohol) for ~14 years. So nowadays I don’t even hang out with people anymore. Which is good, I guess. Anyway, this change had to happen at last. It’s a necessary descision. Wish you good luck!
  9. This. I’ve even experienced very disturbing ”bad trips” on MDMA.
  10. Pema Chödrön (a western buddhist nun) has a warm feminine aura over her teachings I think. Also found some grains of gold in the more new-agey teachings of Caroline Myss. These are mainstreem teachers but so are Eckhart Tolle. Great thread btw, will check out the recommendations here, especially the underground ones mentioned. Have longed for turqouise/yellow female teachers that I can resonate with. I’m sure there exists many but unfortunately they seem harder to find.
  11. Mantras can be very powerful. Many times I’ve completely lost the sense of I, body, space/time and sometimes even awareness, only by doing this short tuning in/out that is commonly done in the beginning and end of some yoga/meditation classes - hands togheter in anjali mudra, chanting three deep and long Aum (inhaling/exhaling fully each time), followed by one deep inhale and then holding the breath until the body automatically exhales.
  12. I do have a very strong desire for self-realization. But yes, it is fluctuating and my efforts have not been consistently focused enough in all areas. Working on restructuring my life in many ways. But it’s good to hear you say I’m not serious enough - it bothers me a bit as you can see.
  13. Pick it up! Do a short practice now? I forced myself picking up the book Kriya Secrets Revealed again just the other day and started taking baby steps.. I’ve mostly used it for collecting dust since I bought it. I’m running out of excuses for not fucking doing the practices.
  14. It seems unecessarily complicated doing this..? Sorry if I’m blind and missing something crucial here, but why not strive to dismantle the beliefs altogether instead of just replacing them with new ones? Or maybe I’m just naive thinking one could skip that.
  15. How you lie, Awareness alone is curative, How your mind distorts reality, Grasping the illusory nature of thought.. and many more. But I think these were the ones that really kicked me in the right direction when I needed it the most. And ironically the early videos about spiritual enlightenment and the guided Neti Neti self-inquiry made me rethink my decision to kill myself (physically).
  16. It would ruin my solid sense of self-doubt and worthlessness.
  17. Fair enough.. The only way to learn how to tell if a source, a substance, or anything else is reliable or not is by researching it a lot. You can’t go from ”completely clueless” as you said, to knowing what’s reliable or not based on a suggestion someone here might give you. You really have to study a field deeply and from all kinds of different angles.
  18. Why? Of course he should research it very carefully and not just eat whatever he finds.
  19. Or go mushroom hunting. They are in season right now in Sweden.