I have a problem with my social life and it is making me miserable. I always feel like people are judging me, hating me, talking shit behind my back, and I generally feel scared and threatened by people. For a few years until recently, i never talked to anyone but now, i have tried to talk to people and have mixed results. I think of myself as weird and unlikable, and feel like I drive people away (this however depends on my mood as when i am in a good mood, i have a more positive outlook). i desperatly just want a social life that is stable with deep connections. I feel unfulfilled, lonely, and left out. It is making me misrable as that is the only thing I have thought about for the past 5 years obsessivly. The people I have been friends with have either kicked me out or stayed but I was super needy with them and still miserable. I want to start personal development and finally get to the root of this problem but I am terrified that if i do, I will not have any friends and be all alone like I was for the last 5 years. I am terrified of not having friends and this is my primary driver for getting a social life. What should I do first, improve socially first or finding out the root and not caring about making friends?
P.S. I am a Junior in High School
also, I would love an answer from everyone including Leo
