Cortex

During my last meditation practice I've had amnesia like experience, I didn't remember what happend yesterday, or today, or what is happening at all, nothing, even for short period after opening my eyes I didn't know certain things about my surroundings, what could that mean

That's pretty interesting, I've gone that far, but I am curious if it was it or maybe something else

Yes, it was 100% meditation as always

Because of all the laws, laws are the opposite of freedom, the whole universe is not free, everything is not free, everything is in the state of slavery, only infinite freedom can fix this, but how to accomplish this

The universe without the physical laws, I would create the physical laws, I would shape everything the way that I want, I would create and destroy anything I want, I would think everything into existence that I want, I would do and create absolutely everything what I want, in the exact way that I want, I would create it and then watch it, I could even give myself the ability to forgot that I've created this beautiful situation, or forgot that I've just created the another universe in which everything is the way I want, I would just be completely free, I would create universe after universe, I would create everything

Exactly I want to use absolute infinity for my own desires

I should be this absolute infinity, and have the power of absolute infinity, not just be it

I still want to be this figure, I should be, it would be better, and I would decide in which body I exist, and what the universe and everything functions, and right now I've been put here against my will

Very angry, this is the most f*cked up thing in the existence right here, this is it, putting something which should be like a god entity to human body, I mean think about it, I have literally no words to describe this, this is some sort of trick, some conspiracy against me, this can't be real, it just can't, what I am doing here, let me out

I should be this God like figure, why I am in this mortal human body, Why, why, this doesn't make any sense, it is some kind of joke, are you f*cking kidding me ? Seriously, I am talking really seriously right now, it feels like some one big joke to piss me off, and you know what ? I am really angry

Physical reality is the obstacle of the beautiful reality in the mind and fantasies, the goal is to transform this physical reality to paradise, maybe through technology this will eventually happen, this will not give me 100% freedom to create whatever I want out of my mind, but it has the potential to get closer to this beautiful vision

Laws of reality of course, man made laws are something which does not exist in the universe anyway, but this physical laws are limiting my true potential, this reality, I want to fly, I want to create things out of thin air, I want to think up into existence whatever I want, I want to be 100% free

Well, the universe is probably infinite so there must be places where there is more freedom or different laws, or there are infinite number of universes, but I am unfortunately in this universe which is under this laws

Like I've said only absolute freedom when you can do absolutely everything is true freedom

Laws of physics etc

But this insights are very real to me, I really have them they just don't last that long, they are short and momentary

Seriously, why I am in this body, in this universe, in this reality, in this time, in this place in the universe, in this laws, why everything is the way it is, I mean everything, WHY, what is the reason, what is the meaning for this, why why and why, why everything is the way it is, it's truly fuck*d up, everything, there is no logic or rationality here, it's just one big giant insanity, one big giant mind fuck, it's so fuck*ed up that no logic or rationality can possibly understand this, going insane is the only thing which will happen when you try to understand this

Yea, it's really fu*ked up, so much that it goes beyond any level of anything, it's infinitely insane

I want to be a child again, so much that you can't even imagine, this is one of the reasons I want to achieve all of my goals, to feel fully like a child again, I am always trying to be this way and to feel this way, but more and more I get the feeling that I am only going further away, and I must fight to not go away, I want to feel like a child again, all the time 24/7,not just when achieving my pleasures, not just when achieving amazing things, I want this to last all the time forever

Today I've really thought about that very big portion of my day, I only have my first person experience, all of the experiences which I've experienced throughout my life are the only thing that I know, I am reaching and reaching only further into my subconscious during my meditation, I can make infinite use out of any of this thoughts, every thought is my world, even right now as I am typing this I am looking at my experience which is gonna be thought which is gonna be another portion of my infinite like mind, which I can make even more use out of, everything is my experience and my thoughts, everything which I've ever experienced is myself, I feel that this will eventually sink in and I will be looking at everything in this way

After my last scary out of body experience and realisations that I have during my meditation practice,and all the other stuff that I am experiencing during my meditation,I feel that my practice is really starting to become a big snowball and I am making a great progress, I am becoming more and more attuned to this meditation world

Maybe I'll try it

And how would it fell like, Like a Manic episode ? , or something like that but even extremely more powerful in terms of creativity etc

Do you ever experience those kinds of coincidences where you've had some amazing idea, and then you find later in life that someone has the same idea and is now successful because of it ? That may be because if everything is one there are no boandries and everything is connected

I have this though now when I meditate, I feel like if I am trying to flip myself upside down