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How important is it to have a "healthy" ego? (even though I don't even know what a healthy ego is) Will it make the spiritual path easier?

@winterknight Ok, I promise, I will

Do I have to still continue with spiritual practices post enlightenment?

@WHO IS I don't think that chasing girls is a problem. But it can be really problematic if one is obsessed by it. I might be experiencing the so called "ego backlash". Because I just give too much importance to the opposite sex and completely neglect my spiritual practices as I feel lots of resistance.

@winterknightprior I said that I really want to chase girls first (pickup). But what if that is just a trap by the ego? I had 2 enlightenment glimpses last year. Unfortunately, I suddenly stopped my practice of self inquiry. Since then I've suffered from depression and lonliness. Right now I feel resistance to start this work again. I think that chasing girls is just a trap just to keep me away from enlightenment work. What do you think?

Wow such profound answers! Thank you @Nahm

I'm suffering from overly sensitivity. There are some people out there, whos energies are such low that I just feel down and worthless all the time. I can't really live like that anymore...it hurts deeply. I can somehow feel their sadness and depression which depresses me a lot! Is this empathy coming from ego? Can it be overcome through enlightenment?

Thanks for your replies. I'll watch the video. @Serotoninluv I mean if there is no "I", then there can't be any suffering. That's why I thought enlightenment would help.

During my self inquiry sessions, I usually scream and cry a lot and my whole body is shaking...Did you experience that too? Is this even normal?

Does it actually matter why (the reason) I am on the path of enlightenment? I mean should someone be on this path just for Truths' sake? Or could someone have some worldy desires, e.g. becoming for successful with my business or girls etc...? I'm confused if that's a valid reason to follow this path...

@Salvijusexactly! Thanks for the reminder. Once Leo released a video about the benefits of enlightenment. Those benefits are extremely desireable for the ego-mind.

How to get out of the dark night of the soul?

Background story: In summer 2018 I was doing self inquiry every single day. During that time I had 2 short glimpses of the Truth. Unfortunately, they only lasted for a few hours. In September 2018 I started my studies at the university. As you can imagine I had to attend classes, do lots of "distance learnings" at home and prepare myself for the tests. As a result, I completely forgot about my spiritual journey. I stopped my self inquiry practice. Now: Over 6 months have passed by and I feel like trash. I don't find anything meaningful anymore. I get no pleasure by doing the same things I used to do before. Depression has become my daily friend now. I just suck at socializing with people, because as I said earlier I just find it meaningless. It gets worse especially when I get ill. Because I would constantly think about dying. (and that feels like hell) Am I in the dark night of soul? I really want to get out of it. It just sucks so badly!! I want to start my daily practice again and overcome this shit.

@winterknight I've read your post about being honest with myself...then I started realizing what I really wanted all the time. It may sound weird, but I've always wanted to be successful with picking up girls. After 2 years of trying, I gave up a few years ago. I'm still doubting if that would be a good activity to follow, but I just can't help thinking about it...

I don't really know what to do in life. Everything feels extremely pointless. I've never had fun drinking alcohol like all other people. I've always felt depressed and sad afterwards. And of course, I would feel like dying. I would think about enlightenment and meditation. On the one hand, I want to have a girlfriend, but on the other hand I don't find it meaningful. On the one hand, I want to earn a lot of money, but on the other hand it's just so pointless. People also do so much pointless stuff... I always thought that I should develop myself personally. Maybe that way I could find some peace and fullfilment. But that never helped... I guess I will just keep on doing my spiritual work.

Thanks!

Yes, I went to a therapist before. But he couldn't really find out my Problem. I experienced resistance writing this post. But eventually I hoped for some advice or similar expieriences by experienced members.

@Amanaki yes! I have to earn money as I want to move out soon.

@Leo Gurathanks for your advice! What about meditation?...I was thinking about strong determination sitting

I had two enlightenment experiences till now. At the beginning my self inquiry progress was great. I knew I was doing it right. But now after 4 months my practice isn't as fruitful as before. It isn't as intense as it used to be. I also lack of motivation to keep doing. I feel distracted by thoughts a lot during the practice and I don't really "feel" it anymore. I don't know what's happening...what is causing this?? Maybe someone can relate to this...

@WelcometoReality wow thanks! That's a post I can relate to!

Yesterday as I was sitting in the my bathroom and doing the self inquiry work, I lost the identity of "myself". Then I laughed and laughed and laughed hihi I was in full peace and it felt amazing! But my mind is still running like Usain Bolt. It won't stop. The body feels completely at peace right now. The mind is the only problem creator right now. I think it's running even faster than it usually does. I know I have to meditate in order to quiet the mind. I just wanted to write that here. Or can you guys give share with us similar experiences? Peace

Enlightened didn't happen yet. And after todays self inquiry, I found out that there's still a lot of work to do.

Hey, I have been practising self inquiry for a month now. Surprisingly, after 5 days of daily pratictise I had my first small realization. This was the most amazing day of my life so far! But in order to get there, I literally have to die every time on my self inquiry practice. During the practice I usually get panic attacks immediately and it feels like as if somebody is trying to choke me. This is my bodys reaction to self inquiry. And of course I am very depressed and demotivated all the time. Do you people experience the same as well? I mean does your body react similarly?

@Saumaya and I'm wodering all the time how you've reached that state. A lot of meditation? Psychedelics? Self-Inquiry? Yoga? Or just a little bit of everything?