non_nothing

Yes. Also I think we both live in the same reality so.

Don't ask me. It's your opinion. You gotta tell me how if he did

Try googling the word `Hoʻoponopono` and see if this would click with you.

Simply tell her your feelings as you told here, and tell how you feel about she telling you wanting your attention makes you stressed. Also you can be more creative about finding a solution to that. Arrange something romantic and just let her see that you give her attention, like you'd do, I don't know, close lights and cuddle together while you're doing your work and let her watch your work etc..

Everyone is different, what matters is personal experiences. If you haven't tried before quitting porn, just give it a try and see for yourself.

I'm here and I'll protect you

It's just your opinion. Hitler didn't cause any suffering.

Interesting

It never gotten any better. Back again where I start always. Or worse more back. I don't know what I want from this life. I've tried everything to battle. I bet I tried everything you'll say as suggestion in this thread already. I hate myself. Never loved mysself. I have defeated in every aspect and every form in this life. Now this stresss I had for years started to take toll over my body physically. Now I suffer every kind of pain, neck pain, body pain, shoulder pain, headache. Days are always in pain. Far worse is being a man. Nobody cares about you. We're doomed to suffer then die. No friends no one says hi no nothing fuck, I seriously need to disappear from this world in an instant. Why do I even write this post? It won't change anything. "Yeah" "Sorry" "Try this" "That" "No" "Yes" "You're wrong" "You're right" Makes no fucking sense. Will just Keep my mind busy.

just enabled youtube premium to get rid of these motherfuckers under every video. they are so annoying

nothing

I will watch this thread since it reasonated with me very well. I had this since I am child. People around me and neighbors used to say this "You're really smart but you get bored so quick of stuff". To "OP": I had something going consistent like going to gym. Why: Because I liked it and all the struggle you receive at gym makes me feel excited. I feel good after exercising. I can't say I have anything else. Maybe meditation went for long like years but not consistent as this one.

Now after this, I feel a bit relieved. I didn't strive forward for nihilistic after that conclusion. Just relieved and that's all.

I now consider happyness is yet another delusion of ego. What is happiness really? I think that is a shadow casted by ego. To make one feel that happiness is somewhere out there. Then you seek for it. Which is this key point right here. You start to seek for it. Now it all begins at this key point. I have thought it a lot and i concluded that if I feel this unhappiness feeling within, thus everyone has that. My "imaginary" happy people out there have this too. Nobody can escape this feeling. I don't think so. Nor enlightenment or enlightened people. Whoever say the opposite, they are delusional.

Fixing my wage slavery would help. But I am feel very unsafe about taking a leap towards quitting my job. Therefore thinking about this fact already establishes a lot suffering in my mind. This non vanishing stress of mine throughout the years have had damage over me. I cannot understand. I read again and again. Cannot make sense. I feel completely lost