Aaron p

@Peo no up until last Tuesday meditation only made me feel good and positive...that's why I did meditation! But I went out drinking with a few of my mates and boom, intense anxiety. I think it's partly because of the lack of direction in my life and the anxiety. But now I feel like I need to stop meditating for relief

@Salvijus yeah I do it every time now. Only 3 rounds per time tho

Ok guys I will. This is like mental shutdown stuff like. Nervous breakdown feeling like

@Shiva I think I might need to take a break. It feels so terrible. It definitely feels like a downward spiral...but I thought this was to be expected during awakening? It's got pretty bad actually. Starting to feel like my life has no point and I have less and less friends. My dad takes me out for rides in the car he knows all about it I've explained to him. But this is very very tough, I think I need to stop for a few weeks

@Hellspeed the nightmare has become real and I'm fucking so terrified. Does the nightmare just get worse until you become enlightened? How long does the actual process take? I feel so alone and helpless and verging on telling the doctors that I was suicidal. But I wouldn't kill myself, no point. I'd rather buck loads of wee girls

I do kryia yoga then self enquiry then vepaasana all in about an hour and 15 minutes each day. I feel like I have to stop though, my emotions are going crazy. I'm so scared and I don't know if I can do it been practising for about 7 months

Two days ago I went out drinking and got completely sloshed with a friend of mine and a girl I'm talking to atm. And ever since that night I have been experiencing what I can only describe as a low key nervous breakdown. NOTHING happened though! I do have a predisposition towards mental health issues. I'm killing myself thinking about what could have caused it. The way I see it, there are 2 possibilities. 1- This is just me, I'm having a really bad nervous breakdown and that's it. 2- It could directly be an ego backlash or directly linked to a closeby spiritual breakthrough. ...let me emphasize how bad this is, it hit me fully loaded within 1 day out of nowhere (just after I started doing kryia yoga actually). And I don't want to get out of bed, constantly thinking I'm going insane. Worrying about the bad trip I had on LSD. Noticing similar feelings from the bad trip. It just seems awfully fast and debilitating. I need some honest, professional answers here guys, I've been in tears I front of my mum and dad already. Booked an emergency appointment with doctor...it's really unbearable. I honestly think it might be a sign of a nearby breakthrough, but it's tough. I can manage a bit of sadness, maybe even a little bit of depression...but (without exaggeration) what feels like a full blown mental panic attack constantly...I dunno. I have to keep fucking playing music and songs and shit and singing along to distract me for 30 seconds at a time. Please be honest, if you think it may just be my mind getting fucked up just say. My family have a history of mental health issues. I've told you all the facts in an unbiased manner, what do yous think? Pleez, need help:(

@karkaore @Joseph Maynor @enderx7 i think I might take a break from the meditation. I dunno, the mental health person today told me that I have far too much time to think and that meditation puts too much focus on yourself and then you get worried and axious about yourself and you start segregating yourself off from others. (All of which has been happening to me). So might just give it a break for now ...

@Salvijus but yo, I've noticed something incredible! When I do the concentration on the bindu, the "cool" sensation that I always get in my throat moves upwards! I feel it moveing up my throat and into my upper throat. But yeah I'm just gonna replace my usual kryia yoga practise with peace yoga. It's too powerful I think. And I need peace at this point in time

@winterknight I think getting in touch with with a psychoanalyst is defo a good shout. My doctor has referred me to a mental health assessment in one of my local towns in northern Ireland.

@Highest I have to be fucking careful with drugs (I've found) because of my mental health. But I find that if I meditate with kryia, then self enquiry then vepaasana for about 1.25 hours and smoke grass straight after I'm done it raises my consciousness. Truth be told I don't really know the word "consciousness" actually means. All I know is, God has revealed to me that the techniques work, and I don't need to understand how it works. I'm finding the truth and that's it. But I find the feelings I get when I've just meditated, when I smoke up

@tsuki word

Since the start of my search of "God" which started prior to actualized.org about 10 years ago for me, it's always been an incredible motivator for me to look back and reflect on the subtle changes in my behavior, mental health, emotional health and just the overarching picture that is "me." For me this really motivates me because the subtle changes will eventually grow to be noticable shifts in my being. I notice myself feeling more free, less anxious, and best of all...less thoughtful! I think the prolonged and lengthy process spiritual progress is somewhat discouraging. So these little observations really help me see that I'm actually becoming more mature, [far] more manly...I notice that my surroundings react to me slightly differently now. It's nearly like I feel, more important somehow. But it's unspoken, you know if the president walks into the room and doesn't speak a word...you will still feel the heavy weight of his energy...the same thing. So let's raise a glass, here's to the small things that only we ourselves see. ?

@Jed VassalloVassalloVassallVa Mooji posted a video on his Facebook page about how there were flase accusations against him to ruin his reputation

I recommend against "trying to let go" the practises do this for you. Do kryia yoga. Also, your mind is within consciousness. Everything is within your consciousness. All of history is within your consciousness, all the entire universe is within your present, experiential consciousness. Be careful though! Don't let this become another idea in that consciousness of your. Infact, don't believe a single word I say. Your analogy of the rivers flowing towards one water reservoir, that would be enlightenment...I think that sounds like a good description. I overthink things a fuckton so i tend to absolutely philosophically demolish whatever is put in front of me. So i feel as though I'm starting to understand the different aspects of spirituality more. Don't worry about confusion, just watch the one who is confused. And if you become clear, watch the one who has become clear.

It's all fun sure isint it. Who knows why those guys don't live strict moral lifes. At the end of the day, enlightenment doesn't change anything. At the start I thought spirituality was going to help my mind, I don't think that is the case anymore. However I do think that enlightenment will kill me, so that god can rise from these bones. I'm ok with that. Moral or not, God's presence reigns eternally.

I love how it gets simpler and simpler the deeper I dig. Easy, effortless, being. I'll be honest, I'm still lost as fuck. But I know that's probably part of the process

@Cortex I can't wait to just fucking die and get this shit overwith. Get some Bliss for God's sake, literally.

I can't wait to have the revelation that I am immortal

The Bible actually is in agreement with what you said into that mic tho. The word says "he who is joined with the Lord is one spirit with him." It also says "it is no longer I that lives, but Christ that lives In me." Another verse says "we are the body of Christ." And Jesus himself actually says "ye are gods." However this is all spiritual truth (absolute truth), the soul and body are still there...but Catholics are especially focused on works based spiritual performance... constantly focused on what your works are and your sinful side...which of course is not really one with god [in the way I'm referring to it]. Catholics have misinterpreted the word, and so have protestants, I feel as though the closest Christian denomination is protestant, a denomination called "Elim." There are christian teachers who authentically hear gods teachings first hand. Men like "Andrew wommack" and "Todd white" and this [slightly less powerful] guy "francic Chan." But yes, everything in the bible is quite accurate spiritually

@Sharp dw Christians won't kill you but they won't like that. Muslims might hurt u. I would ask, are you fully enlightened? Because if not, what your saying is ideology...im just saying. Proper enlightened beings always bring happiness and unity I find... Galatians 5:22 says the fruit of the spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, faithfulness, kindness, gentleness and self control. It says these things will *flow* naturally out of your inner being. So then we just have to observe, in this situation did love manifest...or joy, or peace. This is not a criticism AT ALL...I'm just saying, when we don't have something authentically revealed to us by the holy ghost, it's just more human ideas. It's tricky because this kinda shit isint linear at all. There are so many dimensions and movements that are attached to spirituality, for example, it's possible to create the ideology that your reality is an ideology. Your not actually discovering matrix in this instance, your creating another layer of the matrix that is "I am in the matrix." So Satan comes in the form of light, pretending to be god. I gave up on knowledge a while ago. I just assume I'm wrong all the time now tbh. It's very very hard for me ATM actually

@Wisebaxter "focusing" and "letting go" are actually the same in this instance. We are focusing on the nothingness of letting go

I can thank kryia yoga + phyc's for the insight that I am not becoming more aware, it is the awareness that is becoming more human. Amazing

@Matt23 as of late, I have been experiencing some very very deep states, however I've made a vow to myself to completely let go of knowledge and just flow completely from what I feel in the present moment. With kryia yoga, then self enquiry immediately after, then vepaasana as well...6 months in and I'm starting to notice the reoccurring tangable feelings of just the deepening of my awareness I guess, whatever that means. All I do is look for the self, trust god for the rest. I find it works best, literally not thinking about anything at all haha. I've been able to become aware of what some of the rare actual Christian Mystics call "God's voice" and being able to affect things in your life just by focusing for 10 minutes. I started a business in 2 weeks, going to do loads of professional posters laminated all around the local area...I'm gonna teach piano. That's how powerful this voice has been. For me, I've never experienced one singlar point in time that I can say "that was a powerful spiritual awakening experience"...however, I feel this voice telling me that I will yse kryia yoga and 5meo DMT to attain enlightenment. Or at least get closer. I have some in my room, it's HCl so I was going to snort it...however I feel as though this is a better method as opposed to smoking it because I find smoking substances have a far heavily comeup. And my mind can be a, dodgy place like. So I'm gonna have to be careful make sure I'm in a class mood. I know I'm gonna be a bit scared like. Probably a lot actually. But yes I'm starting to experience the Bliss and noticeable change in personality, my lifestyle is much cleaner, I am talking seriously to a really nice looking girl and I like her, and this piano business and meditating and just all the brilliance of god

@Nahm yes, I do feel as though the happiness is reoccurring...like I've experienced happiness before but only at times. I think maybe I actually am happy and it's just because of my beliefs that I make myself happy or sad. I never experienced it reoccurring like that.