Sashaj

What?

@Shin what part is funny to you?

@Zigzag Idiot did you feel like you had nowhere to turn for help. Like you were alone on the “world”

That’s a lot to take in I just hope that going along with it and being humble get me through

It is difficult to write because the “writer” is changing all the time. I feel like me is floating in the wind. I’m many thoughts playing out a role all morphing into one another. It’s a mess in here haha

Sounds like some other symptoms I have read about, maybe a purge of some sort or energy movements blah blah

Not really, but this may be your personal symptom of the same kind of struggle Or rather a realisation that I haven’t had yet

Well, these are the symptoms anyway I would define it as a sense of psychological upheaval with a negative overtone

@Shin it is like everything has dried up but repressed emotions come to the surface and wreak havoc with day to day life. Huge swings between bliss and boredom, insights come fast but difficult to process and everything seems unreal. It feels like reality is unravelling to make way for something else; to me anyway

May I add that there seems to be anxiety about your practice. Don’t worry so much about the labels, close enough is good enough until it becomes more natural

Wow Has this forum become a cult? Also to the OP, there is no such thing as spiral dynamics other than as a concept. A model. YOU can’t move through it because it’s not real. You are deluded about who the You is that is moving through a figment of your imagination

I understand, but you are expecting too much from a publicly accessible internet forum All sorts cavort in this place. It can't be controlled in the way the you want it to be. Some are louder and crazier than others. A lot of us are going through spiritual crisis of sorts and are barely masking sense of where we are let alone worrying about others. Many are happy to be surrounded by the same lost souls coz in the end the path is a confusing place I have a full time teacher outside of this place but I come here to share and push others only where I feel I have something to give. But sometimes (most times) tough love is the best kind of love

It was a naive statement from an ego. That’s all I’ve got right now. I feel like an I very much today especially. And a few weeks ago I had no questions and was at peace. It comes in waves or something perhaps

Yeah probably. I’m not enlightened. Does it love it because it can cast judgement?

It is so amusing to watch the ego show unfold in all of its glory also, the bitter medicine is the best medicine in most cases. If you are not ready to stand on your own two feet you are not ready for enlightenment. If you are not receiving enough cuddles from this forum you should join a church

This place is a playground for wise trolls. There are less fun places with more compassion. Suggest you go there

Yeah, that’s clearer language than I am capable of, thanks for clarifying

I sense you have felt like my question was an interrogation. It wasn’t. I am asking questions very directly to drill out all doubt wherever it lurks in you and in myself, please don’t confuse this for adversarial behaviour. Thanks

But then again, why not use all available forms of social media to help people? What if you do “have it” and the choiceless pull leads you to every single forum on the web? ps I smell a bit of judgement in here...

@Toby hahaha

How do you know this is the best way to practice self inquiry? I think it would be better to let others go through the same maze using their own map otherwise you are just pre loading a concept into their minds in the hope that they will adopt the same concept when they get to the same question. A completely different answer may be just as beneficial ? just a big thought bubble from me; no idea if it would work in practice

@winterknight I am noticing many addictions in my life that end up diverting me away from practicing For example I am obsessively thinking about making music to the detriment of meditation / inquiry Or overeating, then dieting, followed by a depressive period due to calorie and sugar (another addiction) withdrawals Is this best dealt with in therapy? If therapy was not available how would one navigate these distractions?

@winterknight I feel in the midst of chaos and upheaval in my mind at the moment. How can I tell if it is from spiritual work rather than mental illness?

So yeah, fully woke now, ask me any questions you like and I will answer them once and for all With infinite Love Sashaj Baba

Whoa, okay... Last activity was smoke hash and eat pasta Last day um work and stuff, smoke hash after work and eat dinner and normal stuff, meditate, look for the I Last month same thing as last day with a tonne of other boring stuff like raise kids and fight with the wife No plans, the film will play on as it always does