Benoit Jazy

Everything passes so fast. The moment is so short you can't even grasp it. And then it's gone. A whole life has passed by. And you didn't realise what was so precious and under your nose the whole time. The little things, the Loved ones, the beauty of Life… There is nothing to cling on to, everything is always changing. Loved ones will go, you grow older each day. I miss my old days already. I can't beat life. I know there is nothing to do but to accept. But I have a deep sorrow and I felt like sharing. Thank you :-)

I am starting to realize what Teotl is... but there is still the final leap I can’t take. Are you all, and this forum, a temporary appearance in Teotl (in “me”, so to speak, the I am, beingness)? That means that Teotl is taking the form of Leo to point to Teotl what it is... But is there a possibility that Teotl somewhere outside of my conscious experience take the form of Leo shooting the video? Or this is a delusion of my own mind (imagination, I have no direct experience of this)? I am really stuck on this. of course Leo could say that he was aware that he shoot the video, but isn’t that Teotl tricking himself again? Is that what it means when Leo says that reality is total? What I see is what there is. No more no less. Direct experience. Being. Or are there other POV that I’m not aware of? To take the video game analogy, are other characters having their own stories behind the scenes... I hope this makes sense...

Hello, With my girlfriend We decided to give it one more chance but we face the same problem again and again. When we are together, it is so intense that we end up totally exhausted and drain each other all the time. We talk a lot, get caught up in ego. It’s kind of an “addictive” relationship. Each one needs the other to satisfy emotional needs, which is a recipe for catastrophe. There is also love, which makes leaving difficult. Probably a toxic relationship. I feel helpless because I don’t know how to stand my ground. Leaving won’t solve all the problems because I keep running into this problem of energy draining in my daily life. It’s really painful. I read a lot of material on empathy, but can’t solve this problem. I would greatly appreciate some insight! Thanks

A lot of new age content make it sound like you are ascending; it’s incredible, we’re getting upgraded to the fifth dimension. But from what I can tell, wether you call it spiritual awakening, mid life crisis, a existential crisis, dark night of the soul,... it is pointing to the same thing, and has been there since the dawn of time. (See Joseph Campbell’s Hero’s Journey). There comes a time in the life of a man where he needs transformation. There is no upgrade, you didn’t choose to incarnate right now because it is so cool to awaken, you won’t get caught in another 17000 years of reincarnation if you don’t upgrade your vibration right now. I can’t believe I adopted these silly beliefs for a while. It is ridiculous. There is only a transformation, a return to the Self.

While watching Leo’s episode about Ideology, he talks about how the mind will dismiss the inquiry about physical body and reality. I actually started to laugh because there was a recognition that it’s true. The greatest trick : the mind entertains that physical reality isn’t real. But it’s delusion! It makes you think it inquires, but it doesn’t. “To you it’s just philosophy, you’re not seriously inquiring”. It’s yet another trick. It’s just crazy how clever the mind is. That brings me to this question : why on earth would we chase truth when it’s the end of you? What’s left after all of you is gone? Makes no sense at all. It explains why I have been avoiding practices lately. I mean honestly Why? I see only 2 reasons : 1) your minds tricks you into believing you’ll gain something from it (the spiritual seeker) 2) it’s too late. The veil was shown for what it is and now you either resist Truth as far as you can, or you go on board with spiritual practice. (But again, what’s the point?) Also, to finish on a little melancholic tone, after all, isn’t the mind doing a great loving service by deceiving ourself? Isn’t it nice to be able to conceptually think an external world into existence?

@Sahil Pandit I want to learn to cook and have a healthy diet. I want to move from my toxic city, change my environment for a while. I want to meet people and make meaningful friendships. Those are precisely the qualities I lack. I admire people who have such discipline and act massively. Masculine qualities of direction, purpose, responsibility. I understand why life coaching can be so powerful. That might be an effective way to develop them. Thank you for your encouragement. Very insightful, thank you.

Hello, As I'm taking no action to improve my life, nothing changes. I might learn a lot of theory but my life still sucks and one year later I am still at the starting point of my self-actualization journey. I've settle for the depressing comfy life that I don't even enjoy. I spend days on distractions to avoid facing how much I need change in my life. I suffer deeply from this. Taking responsibility is very scary for me, as my parents overprotected me all my life and now I'm suddenly on my own, and I can't do anything. I am terribly afraid of failure, so I don't try anymore. I just can't go pass this fear. And I noticed that every time I think "it's enough, time to take 100% responsibility or my life will suck forever", then I experience huge ego backlash (it's not even a backlash because no progress was made...), cravings, you name it. It seems that the whole purpose of my ego is to prevent me from growing. And over the years it has become so confined... So here is the double bind : I can't stay in the confort zone anymore, but I won't take responsibility for my life. I really feel stuck. I know the only answer is ACTION, bite the bullet and do it, be a man... but the egoïc forces within me are huge. I am looking for a way to bypass them. Anyone has been there before?

I remember having this kind of perturbation when I was under stress. I thought I slept well but I didn’t, so in the daytime I sometimes almost felt asleep, which can be dangerous. If you are doing some consciousness work, it could “mess up” with your brainwaves. That might be a reason. Binaural beats and deep meditation enter alpha (or tetha) brainwaves. But you are still awake. And so you can disrupt your normal sleep cycles. Also lucid dreaming. That can also happen with some herbal tea, or some medication. these can cause sleep paralysis and other sleep disturbances. Also, drug or alcohol abuse. Try to see if your diet and lifestyle are healthy. You talk about being unfulfilled inside. It might play a role, school can be really draining. Are you under a lot of pressure? Maybe look into natural herbal remedies? If you can’t find any obvious cause, maybe it would be wise to see a doctor or make some sleeping tests?

I have noticed that tantra has gained a lot of popularity, with people harnessing their sexual energy like crazy, and not always for noble spiritual purpose. But after years of répression my concern is that the pendulum goes all the other way so to speak, in the other excess of hedonism, anything goes. How is a given society (blue or even orange) who’s people are not used to this, is to react to this? To illustrate, when travelling to Asia, I saw a lot of Western people with provocative clothes and so on, showing off next to Buddhist monasteries.. Shouldn’t their views and traditions be respected as well? Just because they are stage blue doesn’t mean we shouldn’t respect that. And isn’t there some good in some retenue as well? In my opinion, neither repression nor oversexualized world is good. But it seems to go from one extreme to another. Any ideas?

That's what I was questionning. Sure I can understand his POV because I've been through it, and now I realize it is not healthy. I deeply believe that an empathetic worldview is best because I've suffered through orange's excess. It is more in alignment with my heart and emotions but can it be the ego's sneaky reconstruction with more healthy values, just to hold on to its existence? It is a thin line. If you realize that a POV is still just that, a POV, woudn't you become fully enlightened because you have nothing more to argue and you're only left with being? I don't deny the necessity for Yellow solution, I am just wondering if it could be the ultimate ego's trick to resist being and stay in the mind.

Hi guys, I contemplated something today and I wanted your advice. Here’s a situation to help understand. Stage orange friend : “I banged a big fat girl and she was 2/10.” Me : “don’t forget this girl is a human being who probably has some self trust issues and maybe that’s why she is fat and maybe you should consider her more bla-bla-bla”. Then I realise that actually, even if I was convinced that I was right, my point of view is just as valid as his... Is it my ego with a very hidden air of superiority? I truly believe my POV is more moral and respectful but is it the case? Are all POV true and thus I am deluded? Who is to judge? I think I am having the realisation that I am stage green more than I admit, in the sense that I still have a point of view to defend. I was not trying to impose my POV on him but still... -and what’s an ego without that? A yellow or turquoise person would also have some opinion about things isn’t it? And what’s left to talk about if all POV are true?

If all 7 billions of us humans would use more % of our minds as they say and live to our full abilities, spiritual knowledge, etc, fully self actualized, what kind of world would we live in? What would it look like? Would there be room for everyone to invent new things? when we see how a few genius impacted the world, I can’t even imagine how incredible what the full actualized society would be

I'm home, alone. Yes sure, ready to try

@Pat Pagano @YaNanNallari Thank you, it really helps. I think that indeed I need to try therapy at this point. I've always been suspicious about psychotherapists and psychiatrists, but maybe I should give it a try.. I didn't want to admit until now that my parents have some serious issues, and that I grew up in an abusive childhood but I can't deny it anymore. And surely it has some repercussions on my life. I begin working with a healer, but as I am now exploring the unconscious, it is very painful to see what was repressed in there.. @Nahm I can tell that thoughts about what happened cycle in my mind, and that anxiety and fear are very present. I sometimes doubt all I learned so far. I used to spiritually bypass to avoid dealing with the plain truth that we are human beings dealing with a a complicated stuff by just saying oh no worries it's all a dream in awareness, it's lessons to make you grow, all is well......But that doesn't work. I see what you are pointing at though, and it's very clear, the situation itself is not in awareness right now. It is a relief

Hello everyone, Until now I didn't realize the problem was so deep. I just saw my mother and she is totally invasive, it's hard to explain. She has serious abandonment issues from her childhood. I've tried a lot, setting healthy boundaries, keeping my ground while in conversation (I don't have that much power honestly), not looking at her eyes, avoiding spending time with her. NOTHING works. It's getting worse and worse as she feels her children leave the family cocoon. My father tries to get her to therapy. I feel drained of all life and totally sick. Today was just too much. I actually left home in a state of shock. I was trembling and in a fight or flight type of situation. 3 hours laters I am still shocked. If I put a step at right, she would be in front of me and not letting me. Same left. Then she would try to force "a hug" and invade me. If I wanted to leave, she would follow me. I feel like she is Dracula's incarnation. I am totally overwhelmed and don't know what to do. Even though I live not at their house anymore, I don't feel safe all. I thought about what Leo said : sometimes you must just cut with people when it's irreparable. Yet you see it's the kind of person who might do crazy stuff if you just cut them off.... And at the same time, I can't carry her weight on my shoulders anymore. I am concerned for my own mental health. It is NOT my responsibility to deal with her problems and I am even thinking going another country so she won't follow me there. Any advice would be greatly appreciated...