RabbitHole

I love being the honest douche sometimes cus you all guys are keeping her in that bullshit victim state. In this case either you look somewhat okay, but not good and have extreme insecurities or you actually look like "below 4", then I can suggest to work as hard as you can on changing It. What Is your goal on writing this? Like for real, If you know you look horrible, then do what you can to change It or focus on other aspects of yourself. I already wrote earlier, amazing body, dope personality and decent fashion/style/hygiene will make anyone atleast around 5. What do you wan't to get out from this topic? Just hear that "I bet you look okay, Someone would fuck you or whatever bullshit". If that's your goal, fine, you got It. If your goal is to actually change your situtiation - WORK! Put effort in improving yourself or just accept It as It is. There are no excuses unless you really have some genetic problems. And believe me, there's so many guys who would accept pretty much anything that has female genitals If sex is what you're looking for, but those won't really be the most attractive guys.

I would love some alien girlfriend

Finish Ironman triathlon. Build profitable company that I love (not just selling random products). Will be more than one, but first long term plan is connected to health foods, herbal products etc. Have few rental apartments. Self improvement, I'm currently far from best version of myself. I can imagine that version but struggle to be that now, slowly becoming that. Those would be the main ones.

Do competitive sport. There is no better motivation than setting goals and keeping track on progress to get ready for race day and push the limit a little further every time. I was going to gym too, got bored and found It almost pointless as gym is more for getting over insecurities (skinny, weak etc.) than actual sports and is not from healthiest sports too. Maybe 5% guys in gym actually compete, others just have struggle accepting their body. Now I do cycling, running, starting triathlon and doing amateur races. Honestly I can't wait for next training as there is no better feeling than setting goal and achieving It when you thought you couldn't do It. Endurance sports train your mind which is really beneficial in other areas of your life too. Main benefits? There is no giving up. It's hard and It hurts! Don't care keep going. I can't! No, you can, keep pushing! So basically you become much more tough, confident and ambitious, ooh - extreme discipline too.

There's plenty of guys who would accept you as you are and would even do much more than just accept, but the question is, would any guy that accepts you would work? Probably not as you have some kind of psychical preferences.

This depends on what you are looking for, but what I would suggest and I tell to all my insecure male friends (me in past including) - work hard on self improvement both mentally and psychically. Mental part you could imagine how that works - master social skills, be authentic to yourself, learn about yourself and improve your mindset. For psychical part I believe If let's say we rate people in scale to 10, everyone who's unnattractive could get +2-3 points by working out/achieving amazing body, dressing really well and taking care about yourself (hair, skin, hygiene). Somehow everyone rates himself lower than he/she actually is, I don't know what you look like, but with hard work you could scale up by 3 levels in appearance, sure It's not cool to rate this way, but this somehow works as measurement. So - perfect body, healthy diet, hygiene, great fashion and you should be fine. Also, personality matters more for decent relationships, so this is where It's up to you, what are your requirements for partner? 2 meter/ 6.6 foot tall athlete with attractive face, great career with amazing personality? Will be hard. Average guy that fits your personality, dress somewhat okay and is nice? Sure, won't be a problem.

Just go for whatever feels right. I dedicated myself to reaching enlightment and then stopped, well I still read and have spiritual practices, but there is nothing you can take with you on path to enlightment, you drop everything and I mean It, friends, things, values, beliefs, mind, you leave It all. Your ego is afraid of this as to reach enlightment you have to go against It's will, which feels like going against yourself and you do feel It that way. Is the end worth It? Who knows, choose to focus on my human goals (financial, career, sports etc.) and continue with my path in a dedicated way (I still go deeper, but I keep It at slow pace) when I get older and have reached my goals. Journey Itself brings the most blissfull and most hell-like experiences, consciouss chosen enlightment takes extreme dedication and courage, but what I can tell is, once you have this question, you might take a break or slow down, but you will always move towards It anyway. I chose to live as a human, so that's what I'm going to do, when I'll get bored: "Enlightment, here I come." Main thing for you to understand is - you will destroy everything that you are, have, believe etc. High psychdelic dose gives pretty good idea of what you are, what ego consists of and what anything means. Don't confuse psychdelic ego death with enlightment, It's not the same, but If you experience ego death then you can answer to question whether you're ready or not.

It's instant, permanent enlightment Sorry, can't take this serious

Why shit squatting?

Handful of spinach a day should fix this. 3x more iron than in meat. I was iron deficient my whole life, now as a vegan started eating spinach and guess who's not defficient anymore

I honestly don't believe he's legit. Well, somewhat is, but I believe that he gained his strength and muscle mass on regular diet and only then transitioned to one meal a day and that crazy calorie restriction. It's impossible to gain that much muscle mass without calorie surplus, body simply has no "material aka food" to build Itself from. Sure he might be using nutrients more efficiently, but now way he built that body on this kind of diet. What he is doing is probably sustaining his body, but I don't believe he will be gaining any more weight/muscle. It's very possible to get stronger on low calories, but not bigger size - wise. Sure those are just my thoughts and my experience on this, maybe I just lack knowledge to understand how It works, but from my perspective It goes against all natural, biological laws.

I believe everything will work out for you very well basing on topics you started It amazes me that you're just 15. You are already on great path, just keep looking for ways to improve yourself, your life and world around you, you will get where you want to be

About current income, part time job would probably be great option. But I see that you are talking about your future life preferences. I'm still young (22) and will get all my goals done, but there is one thing I wish I knew at your age. Take any passion you have and go all in, dedicate yourself in mastering It. You're age allows you to be professional in pretty in different sports, arts. Later It will be way harder. This is harder to choose in your age, but If you have intereset in specific field like science, biology, nutrition, whatever. Learn as much as you can as you will enjoy your life way more with having great career built on your passion, not just working in average job for average salary. Be as ambitious as you can and start learning, you won't regret this. I have missed passion I had since I was like 10, I really loved cycling, but didn't train professionally until at age 16 I started training more seriously, but then at 18 stopped as I had no discipline. Now I just started It again and I love It so much, but all I can aim for at this age is average pro level, If I would dedicate myself to this when I was younger I would already be in national pro or elite team and could aim for international competitions. I also quit arts school which I loved, now I still love art, but I really suck at creating It and I have no time to dedicate myself to It. Don't push yourself too much as you have to spend your childhood in fun and exciting way, but slowly start learning how businesses work, everything money related, lots of self-improvement literature and follow all your passions.

Hitler and Mother Theresa had the same driving force. To escape their pain and gain pleasure. In these cases one of them had to kill many people to escape his pain and gain his pleasure and the other one felt pain when someone suffered so It was the other way around, but all humans are driven by the same two forces - pain and pleasure. Everything you do is directly linked to those two forces, but what is important is the outcomes of your actions. And I look at life choices this way? Does It bringes me pleasure and removes suffering? No? Choose something else. Yes? Does It brings others pleasure and removes suffering? No? Choose something else. Yes? Go for It! Don't overthink It, If you feel that you wan't It and you can contribute to others while doing It, go for It. I think your LP is wonderful and I wish all the best to make It happen.

Don't worry about bad habits too much, most people are unconsciouss about their diet entire life, If you start now, then in few years you will know everything you need to know about nutrition etc. I can't give too specific examples as I adjust It for performance, that's why such big amount of food. You need around 2400 calories per day, slowly start paying attention to how much you consume and make sure you hit this target every day as this is amount that your body needs for sustainability. About b12, It's true, It's really hard to consume It as vegan (only seaweeds), but many vegan products contain It, I get It from plant milk. Why is it needed? It's for healthy neural system. Does It means your will be damaged If you don't consume It? No, but is It needed for optimum performance? Yes. I suggest to get It in pills form and It really doesnt cost much, especially on internet. Taking It or not doesn't make noticable difference, but yes, you should supplement It. About eating same food. It's not a problem at all, I do It to save time, energy and money. I don't need to think about what Im going to eat, I spend little money as I buy only what I need, prepare for next day so less cooking. I'm just minimalistic and I changed my meals few times until I got to these that do make me feel great and sustain my lifestyle. I am not even annoyed by taste as I care only about getting right and enough nutrients and calories, but sure most people can't handle that. I can just tell that you can be really grateful for having understanding parents as many young people struggle with having parents accepting their choice. Try consuming more grains as they are high in carbonhydrates (bodys source of energy) and pretty high in calories. There is a reason why I eat that much carbs when endurance training, they are fuel for our bodies. Hope this gave some useful insights, if you have questions, I will gladly help you out

I know the feels, been there, first when transitioning I lost almost 10kg Now I've finally found my perfect meal plan, only to warn you - I eat everyday same meals as It's easy and gives me all my body needs, It also sustains also my high intensity endurance workouts. Sure I miss some things and I don't include some small stuff I add to meals, but this works great for me and I feel better than ever. I am 6.6"/2m tall, weight around 85kg and do intense workouts where I spend from 2000-4000 calories thats without maintenance needs without them. Feeling great, progressing in trainings. I also included quantity, but no one who is not working out hard needs that much food, so my average day looks like is: I eat musli/granola (oatmeal with dried fruits, seeds) with milk in the morning. 200g dry. For lunch rice with veggies, regular kidney beans and soybeans (for protein). 200g rice, 150g of each beans, and a loot of veggies, both frozen and fresh (avocado). Before workouts I might eat some bananas or bread with peanut butter, or musli again. Dinner/after workout again rice, just maybe even bigger quantity. After that I eat looots fruits or musli If I feel like It, yeah I eat like 500g of musli daily Troughout the day I eat a lot of wholegrain cookies, they taste like sand to be honest, but are high in carbs and calories. I eat 500g package daily. *Edited. I also use spirulina powder as It contains most vitamins and minerals we need. Sure I still miss some, but I feel better than ever so not really worrying about that. This averages around 5000 - 6000 calories daily. I bet you need half of that. Basically eat more grains, they will fill you up and boost calorie intake. Then just add a lots of veggies, beans, peas or some other protein source and receive gratitude from your body, animals and environment in return. You could also write what you eat and I could suggest some products to add, I could bet that you are not consuming enough calories (most new vegan problem), also If you just went vegan your body will need to adapt as It's working as hard to digest food as before and It needs some time to adjust and use less energy to digest food. Once It will do that, you will feel less hungry and have more energy. Now It might be processing food too fast (as meat is very heavy for digestion) and that's why you feel hungry shortly after eating.

Exactly, everyones ego in beggining gets like: "I want this, tell me more, I want to reach that enlightement, Ooh happiness, I wan't that too". And then It gets kicked in the balls as It had delusionary understanding of what It actually means to go this route. Then break is needed and until we can continue where we left, only this time - slowly and patiently. It's impossible to unsee all that has been seen and the drive to go deeper will stay, just need to realize that It's all not just beautiful fairytales and that ego is not going to receive infinite intelligence, constant pure bliss and superior state. I honestly believe that ego is what drives 95% of people on this route.

This is what I always try to warn, but most gurus never mention It. Dissolving ego means shattering your whole life into pieces. Sudden enlightement just is. Consciouss, achieved enlightenment is dedication and extreme courage. Been in similar positiona after high psychdelics dose, don't worry, you'll adapt. Real spiritual work is not in attaining knowledge, enlightment, but implementing in daily life. I'd suggest to keep meditating, but stop reading and searching spiritual information for a while until you regain track (until ego heals himself). Ego is needed to survive as a human being, so don't fight It, make It your best friend. Find yourself some hobbies, some stuff to do, enjoy being human as that is who you are at the moment, everything else is just beliefs in different degrees. Sure, I understand all you wrote in first post, I agree with that, but there is no need to take life that serious. Have fun, experience, go and adventures, do stuff that excites you. After dedicating myself to reaching that enlightment I got in same position, could barely exist in society, nothing had any meaning, felt like I lost my mind. Now I got back on track, made some human goals such as: creating my own company, training in sports I like, got new job, studying and socialising with people I love. Sure none of them know that I don't identify as human being, but I feel great and life is great. So just start implementing your knowledge in order to become best version of you human being you can, create yourself comfortable life and have fun. Just to uplift you, that period really passes and later you go all in, in rabbit hole again, so there is not much to worry about, I believe that you have soaked up too much information, haven't had enough time to process It and now your ego aka mind is really confused.

Just want to put big AGREE. Who is "I" saying that?

That is not who you are, work on removing everything that you are not, meaning basically every mental blockages, insecurities and you will be surprised what you actually are. As guys above posted, you're introverted because of past experiene, parenting, environment, forget everything that you are and build from scratch in a way that's the most beneficial for you, but keep in mind to stay in loving state so others can also benefit from your growth. Years ago I was also deeply introverted, couldn't really talk to girls etc. Lot of self work and now I can talk to whoever I wan't, whenever I wan't and It almost always works out the way I wan't. What you should do is: 1. Understand that everything you believe you are is crap 2. Seek the roots for that crap as past experiences that made you that way, parenting etc. When you find the root you understand that It wasn't you, but some experience created you that way. 3. Be you as the crap is removed, brainwashing yourself with mantras while meditating also works. 4. Fail & learn infinite times. You will struggle, you will fuck up, that's life, that's perfect.

True, that's horrible advice as awakening proccess often can be nightmarish and feeling like you're going insane (as ego dissolves). Psychdelics are great teachers, but If you haven't done that before, read a lot and start low, like really low because they can and most likely will change you, there can be serious consequences, main one is struggle to adapt to shift in consciousness and implementing It in "ordinary" aka sober world. Don't just jump in them as serious dose could make you quit job/studies and even make you unable to act like decent human being. I am not trying to scare you and actually I would also suggest to do them when you are in good mental state, but educate yourself on It to kinda prepare, kinda because you can only conceptually learn what will happen, but when tripping It will feel different in a way that can't be conceptualized Check recomended dosage and take like half, that's safe and you will get to know what It means to take psychdelic.

Just want to highlight exercising, find yourself replacement for video games, arts, sports whatever that's beneficial for you. Now I have extra motivation to work on my business projects, because once I finish them I will have more time for sports

Write yout business goals (can write all goals) on a page, write neccessary steps to get there. Then ask yourself, do I have time to play video games? Do they help me to move closer to my goals? Video games consume a looot of time that could be spent in many, more beneficial ways. Creating business takes dedication and saying no to 90% things you did before you started. I wouldn't suggest to allow you play "sometimes" as eventually you will play more and more. Just say to yourself: "My business is my main focus and I'll do whatever It takes to be successful". High discipline is what you need!

This sounds wonderful, go for It. I'm glad that someone actualy has practical career ideas not just "coaching, guiding, teaching crap". I'd say don't take that life purpose course, just dedicate yourself to mastering nutrition, dietology and food science and other aspects that this includes. It's hard to think of what could be better contribution to society (aka purpose) and If you love It It's wonderful. This is something humanity actually needs and I believe there is lack of high level specialists in this field. And be as ambitious as you can, don't go the easy route, dive all in!

Fact! That guy might be poet.