Jordan94

@ardacigin Thanks again, I actually started reading the book after my previous post, i'm at like 250pages now and I have to say that yea lol I agree with all that you said about the book it's just a pure fucking gem I'm really surprised as well that it was the first time here that I heard about it and there's not a lot of people talking about it more, we should do a TMI mega topic where we could discuss progress on the path/advices/questions/whatever regarding the book/model that would be cool As far as my experience with it so far, so yea as we could have expected I'm mostly on stage 3 not having mastered it yet (or rarelly, and sometimes on more unfocused session I drop to stage 2 obviously), so that was a big strategic mistake to go for purification/equanimity based meditation (goenka tradition vipassana) when my focus is not really good yet I can already feel that the tools/practices/advices from the book are really helpful and wayyyyyy better than what I was doing before to improve on that, so yea working on that now, I guess it shouldn't take me that long to master stage 3 and progress above given I've already meditated some time overall but i'm mostly not there yet though @Mu_ Wow thanks man I was not expecting that haha As far as the trap, I'm not sure, I would not think so too much but maybe, I could see how knowing/believing in some lacks that i might have could reinforce them, although in the end (or begining I should say lol) there are still there in the first place, meaning that even if/when I would not think that my focus is not that good or what, it's still not magically going through the roof just because i removed the awareness/believing of it However one trap that I see myself geting into and that is kinda related, is to go about it in a too much goal/result and tryhard oriented manner, and that can be counterproductive sometimes for sure, although I've tried briefly to go the opposite side sometimes and I would say resultswise (meaning progress/fruitfulness of the practice) i'm better doing too tryhard than too not tryhard I think But for this point only recently with the book I think I understand now that the answer is actually that it's way better to actually do both at the same time in a balanced way

@noselfnofun Cool that you can relate For what you said about the expectations, I can see how that can be true, as obviously after a retreat we will be on a peak, and from there it's normal and sure that we will go down at least some in the next weeks or so But I don't think it's a big thing, for me if I look back and make a summary of my practice and results/effects of those 2 years, the 2 hours daily are just not worth the benefits I get out of retreat momentum (so the majority of the time) @ardacigin Great post again thanks Yea I totally agree with the pillar skills thing, it matches pretty well my experience I actually already thought and measured my progress in meditation in those exact 3 points, and personally it's clear for me that i'm wayyy more advanced in equanimity and sensory clarity than stable attention/focus, which is really my weak point (Outside of retreat momentum) Sensory clarity I can feel a sensation in nearly any part of my body if I put my attention there, equanimity I can do okay-good-ish especially if I put intention in trying to just observe equanimously sensations (at least i'm more advanced than my focus/attention), and attention as I said it's just my weak point so far, I would be 20-30% of the time of a 1 hour sit actually half-focused on the technique, the rest is monkey mind So i've been really puting emphasis so far on trying to improve my focus, since it's my weak point, but still with strugles and my focus is still weak after 3 years But now I feel like one other way to go (at least for some time, eventually obviously I'll have to improve my focus if I want to go further, but my goal now is really more to have some nice benefits from the practice, rather than aiming for enlightenment or whatever) would be to engage in a practice where it's less relying on focus And obviously in SDS, after the 45minute mark when the intense pain starts to kick in, being focused on the sensations is not really a big problem So yea i'm thinking more and more that i'm gonna go more deep in SDS and more equanimity-based practices What's your setup for SDS at home btw ? cushion on the floor ? bed/sofa ? no cushion ? other setup like a zafu or whatever ? I will read the book yea it seems really interesting, I already checked what it looked like when @Enlightenment mentionned it, thanks you two for the share

I would say definitly vipassana is better especially for a newbie Because you will have everything prepared for you and a good environement

@ardacigin Very inspiring, both your posts and your experience, i would be really interested to have your opinion/advice on my situation if you don't mind I've been doing 2 hours daily sits (no SDS just regular for the most part) of vipassana meditation for like 2 years now (i started like 3 years ago, sometime less than 2 hours a day but total that would make 2 years where i actually did 2 hours a day, also been doing 5 ten day retreats), and after having look back on the results/fruits of the practice in those last years, i've found that it was not really effective, given the time invested and the mosty low results i've got in daily life After a retreat (10 days of 10hours daily) I would nearly always see great fruits/change in my experience of life that last for a few weeks, so i'm satisfied with those, but i just don't manage to maintain a good enough quality of focus/meditation (I think) with 2 hours practice of vipassana so after the momentum of the retreat fades off I just get little fruits/benefits in daily life of this 2 hours practice I've been thinking that the reason i get little results of 2 hours is that outside of retreats I can't manage to have a good enough quality of focus to make this particular technique effective enough with 2 hours daily and a high-distraction environement (aka life), but i might be wrong that's just my feeling (I would say 20-30% of the seated time where i'm kind of focused on the technique (which is basically body scans while staying equanimous to the sensations), and the rest is lost in monkey mind) Although one think that i've always found effective and to give clear results even outside of retreats is SDS, basically when i'm in a period where i do SDS, it's quite easy for my mind in daily life, when there is pain or an unpleasant sensation, to go like "ow okay i can see the unpleasant sensation there, it's wayyyyyy less intense than the one i've got in my SDS lol, so no big deal lol" So i've been changing massively my meditation practice recently, 1-2 weeks ago, and now i'm just doing self-love / self-acceptance practice/visualisation 1h30 daily (simmilar as the one in leo's self acceptance video), so far I find it really effective and to give great effects in daily life, basically way less self-added negativities so a better enjoyment and experience of life Now i'm quite unsure about my meditation path/progress and how i should go about it, it seems clear to me that the way I was doing it before is just too uneffective and that there's way better for me to do than that, self-love/acceptance seems to be a great thing to do and effective, but I don't know too much about the rest like regular presence/focus/equanimity/mindfullness/whatever practice Also as far as SDS outside of retreats, i've been hitting some technical difficulties : If i sit (half lotus or just cross-legged) on the floor with a cushion under my butt, after one hour my legs feel numb in a weird way like there's no more blood flowing, so I don't think it's good If i sit on my bed with a cushion under my butt, I just don't feel much pain in one hour (in the retreats I would feel a good amount of pain after 45minutes untill the one hour mark, and usually being able to finish one hour but with suffering) So what i've been doing is that i sit on my bed with a cushion but i put some small object under my butt to add some kind of pain, but it's not really convenient, sometime i will feel not much pain or too much pain depending on how i place the object/sit, there's more randomness to that Another thing I've been thinking and implemented a bit, is to create shorter-intense situation where there is unpleasant sensations, rather than having to wait 45minutes to have pain arrise, one thing i've been doing is to put water on my face, but not wipe it with a towel, so i just stay immobile and the water slowly goes down on my face, and it actually produce quite intense unpleasant itching sensations What do you think about implementing some practices like that to train equanimity ?

@Leo Gura That's something I was wondering when watching your last video You said that God is infinitely powerful and beyond any limitation, so that would mean also that he can create without any problem a world/way where suffering is not vital to life at all, no ? This point I didn't understand because it doesn't make sense to me that God would be absolutely unlimited but also that he has to respect some design constraint like there has to be some 'bad' stuff that would be good in the bigger picture because they are necessary Now one other thing would be to say that 'bad' doesn't exist and it's just a ego perspective/creation, and that everything is good even suffering, murder rape, etc ... That would make sense then, but then it's different that the concept that the 'bad' things are actually 'good' and necessary for the bigger picture So I'm confused here, did I misunderstood something in the first point ('bad' things being 'good' in the bigger picture) ? Or actually the answer is just the second point (nothing being bad) and the first point is irrelevant ?

Thanks Btw what do you think about Vipassana ? Is it just the same ? kinda simillar ?

I got my armodafinil last week's monday and took 6 pills so far, first 2 days then mostly one day in one day off (actually it was, monday, tuesday, thursday, friday, sunday, tuesday), each time one complete pill 150mg I had a lot of troubles sleeping the first and second day, right now is better the days i take it, maybe already less effect by taking it one every 2 days, yesterday i took one and it was not that much of a change compare to normal day i feel The first day was definitly a big change and effect on my awareness and capacity to focus, althought it's still subtle it doesn't jump on your face, but the positive effects are clearly there, my meditation was wayyyy better easily, i felt also some positive effects on mood/motivation (not sure this one could have just been not caused by modafinil), intuition/creativity connecting dots I feel like it might be too much to take one every 2 day and it's already building some tolerance and lowering the effects, does anybody have some infos about the tolerance ?

Yes I would say it's the main reason, when people go to their room (me included) in the end we meditate a bit then just kind of give up and chill mostly Another big reason is that you have your little cussion/setup in the hall, in your room you have your bed which will give you a less good posture (at least for me) and focus Another thing is that you have the whole group atmosphere of having the other people meditating around which is gonna help you to meditate in many ways, for me even also in some egoic way desire to want to look good for the other people, which is not really the best motive haha, but at least here it results in something helpful (keep meditating well)

As Gabriel said ask a lot of questions to the teacher (you have to put your name for interview time before lunch everyday) And eat lightly, empty stomach will be better for meditation Also in my experience, it's easier and better to meditate in the hall than in your own room (at some times you will have choice to stay meditate in the hall or go meditate in your room) And i would also not lying in your bed in the breaks, it can easily make you even more tired and wanting to sleep, so better to rest comfortably seated in your bed or by being outside

Hey @winterknight , thanks again for all the help I'm being really interested and liking the way of Davis Hawkins in his book "The pathway of surender", are you familliar with his work ? If yes what would be you're advices to optimize the progress on this path ? any traps to be careful of ?

You already had lots of good answers so that's cool One other thing I want to add, is that you don't have to see progress/results as binary, meaning that you achieve the end goal and then get 100% of the results, and before finishing you get 0% of the result You can put 20% of effots/time in spirituality/meditation and already get some nice 20% of the results/benefices and that's cool

Good shit! Definitly go on Vipassana retreat it's great

Great feedback thanks I've been thinking about trying for some time now and i'm finally gonna order from afinil express Which one did you take or would you recommend ? I'm thinking about Modafinil first rather than Armodafinil, and the Modalert one

@Arman Okay great thanks, I also find that for me an added visualisation or intent to have the sensation leave the body is not helpful and can be counter productive, as it's an easy trap to have an intention/expectation to have the sensation move/be in a particular way, which is against just letting the sensation be as it is @dimitri I find it's also quite exactly the same as vipassana meditation isn't it ?

It does not really matter it's also more of just a map of where some energies passes/get stocked rather than an actual entity, I think

@Schahin Check Ennio Nimis book it's free accessible online and there's everything you need to start the practice there http://www.kriyayogainfo.net/Eng_Downloads1.html

Being able to attract the guy is not the same as having a good relationship, as I actually said it's not because there's attraction in both person that it's sufficient to get a good relationship, that's a whole other point But if you're strugling with having options or having the guys that you like be interested in you, then yea improving your looks is the way and that's how it is Meeting guys in places where you are more likely to share values/interest is a great advice thought But again if the guys are not attracted/interested in you it's gonna come back at improving your attractiveness first, and saying that guys who're into looks are not worthy/bad personality or what is just a joke, it's quite normal for both guys and girls to be more attracted to more attractive people, nothing crazy or unhealthy there

@Arman Thanks that's great I'm a bit unsure about the last part of "letting it run its course", usually what i'm doing is that i'm just observing the feeling trying to drop jugements and concepts, so just observe objectively (same as in vipassana), and that's it, then I move to another feeling, is it just that that's meant by 'letting it run its course' ? I know some people who got inspired by the book do a final step of visualizing the feeling coming up and leaving the body, do you think some part like that is necessary or fine without ?

@Eric Tarpall @Mikael89 I feel you, you're right that it's a great source of pleasure and can improve a lot hapiness (with a small h) on the short term, not as much as you think though on the long term, but definitly it seems to me that pursuing it and getting it is the right move and direction for you, rather than denying that it will be a big plus in your life, so i'm with you on that But then why do you think you will never be able to get sucesful with girls ?

First thing, about finding guys that are open to relationships, for me personally (I'm a guy) usually I would be open to a relationships or at least meeting again, if the girl is attractive enough for me, so contrario to what many people would think/say where if you get prettyer/sexier you would get more guys for fun but not for serious realtionships, I think it's totally the opposite, and you can see it easily around, for most guys the more pretty the girl is the more down they would be to get in a exclusive relationship One other thing to consider and that can help to understand the whole situation here really well, is that, as a girl, you can easily have sex with guys that are above your 'level' (of attractiveness), but obviously that's not gonna be the case for a realtionship, to illustrate the point, let's say a girl A is '6' (on a subjective scale of attractiveness) A as a '6 girl' can easily have sex with guys who are '8', at least some time, but she can have for a boyfriend only guys who are '6' (or bellow) For a guy this would not be true, a guy B who is '6' can not have sex with girls who are '8', he can mostly only have sex with girls who are '6' (or bellow), and he can also mostly only have a girlfriend that will be '6' or bellow So in the end it's fair in both gender because they will be able to get in relationships only with partners who are close to their level of attractiveness (actractiveness doesn't mean necessarly only looks), but there is an unbalance in the way that a girl could have sex with guys that are 'higher' than her without too much trouble, whereas as guys, most of the time, a guy could if things go further well get into a relationship with a girl he had sex with, at least way more easily/often then girls (still depends on the guy/girl personally obv), and that's because of the above point So in the end if you want to get the guys that you are attracted to which are not attracted to you, which obviously are also more attractive to girls in general, you need to become more attractive yourself and once you'll be an 8 yourself in terms of attractiveness as a girl, you'll be able to get a 8 boyfriend easily And for that, attractiveness as a girl, to be honest it's just mostly about looks (which does not mean that just looks will make two people match in terms of personality/chemistry and then be good in a relationship together, that's a whole other point, but for attractiveness as a girl to a guy it's a loooot about looks), which is not the case for guys, where looks will be, let's say randomly, 5-20% of the attraction, as a girl it'll be more like 65-90%, so most of the advices for guys to become attractive for girls is gonna be quite irrelevant and not effective for you, as well as the idea that it's mostly about improving your personality/being/comportement, which is true for guys but will be way less relevant and effective for girls So most of the game for you is to improve your looks basically, better fashion/clothes, better makeup (there's for sure a shitton of tutorial/content on youtube or whatever for that), better body (aka gym/diet), that's it really

First it's great to see the self-honesty and awareness to recognize that (the first part of your sentence), and as the other said that (the second part) is 100% just a belief that you have, which is not true at all

Good shit Yea definitly, you know how people say surround yourself with succesful people and you'll become sucessful, there's a part of that, but also for pickup it's gonna be way easier to get into social mood / open more if that's something you're strugling with, but even behond that you'll just be in a better mood and better energy and your game will go 10 times better then if alone It's good to learn to go out alone and not being reliant on other people too, but only doing that has no point neither, you'll just progress 10x more and faster having other pickup people around, so if you're not in a small city just try to find the local pickup lair/community Nice for the interaction, again you want to aim at having longer interaction and waiting more to ask out to meet again, it will be wayyyy better like that The reason is that you'll first cut off a lot of girls that will not be down after 10s (which will be basically nearly all the girls and it's normal, it's way too fast she doesn't know you at all), and even for the small portion of girls which will be down even that fast because they're really into you when you go talk to them, it's still way better to just talk for a few minutes and then suggest to meet again, it's more normal and natural in a good way, it let her a bit of time to want it as well, and also it will be way more solid with at least a few minutes of interaction, rather than 30s getting the number peacing out It's actually really important and will give you way more solid interactions and way more dates than just going for the fast instant 'close'

If you don't want to go club that's fine you can do only daygame and it's fine, first keep going and continue to open girls, have interactions, try to see what seem to work well or make things to go in a better direction, or what don't, and improve like that Also try to find some other people not far from where you live with who you could do daygame together, it's immensely huge and this alone could (will) change completly your results and progress I would not throw away that fast online (tinder or other) if I was you, if you're kind of new and struggle to get dates, if you can get decent pictures for your profile you can manage to get dates (not with sexbombs at first obviously) more easily than from street (if you're begining in street/daygame), and that can be great and easier to get at first more practice, and results, than hammering daygame as a beginner And no it's not a scam obviously people have dates from tinder, often the girl looks worst in reality than her pics (you just gotta adjust your expectations and the problem is solved) sometimes you have good surprises as well And btw from what you write maybe you're trying to 'close' the asking the girl out too fast, if you're starting the conversation by asking the girl to meet again / hangout later / whatever, that's not the best way at all, your goal first should be to enjoy talking with the girl for a few minutes have some fun / enjoyable conversation together learn to know each other a bit more, and then after that you suggest to meet again sometime

As everybody said just go follow what your heart/motivation is at the moment, in that case pickup I will add though, you can also try to implement with pickup a (tiny) bit of the more advanced (spiritual) stuff that you seem interested in as well, for example, the whole aspect of getting a good presence/groundedness, that's 100% meditation/spirituality, not being result oriented is also highly related to equanimity/acceptance which is a facet of meditation as well, related also to shadow work/emotional healing Etc, like this there is a lot of good ways where pickup and meditation for example overlap, you can put a bit more focus/openeness on those areas (while keeping your main focus on pickup most likely given what you seem to say you're at now)

The preparatory exercices definitly I think you don't need to do them all, it's basically just to help what's coming next, so you can just do some that you find most effective for you, better to do at least a few minute of prep than nothing I would say coz it will help the rest a lot For the pranayama though, that's the essence of kriya yoga, so if you don't do it you're not doing kriya yoga basically