Your place at Heart

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Leo, I believe this is the most profound of all topics. It links to how things we suppress work in background to make our lives harder. We as aware people and self actualizers need to be aware of the things we suppress consciously and unconsciously by self or by indoctrination and how to deal with those shadows, do we embrace them or discard them? How to work with these shadows? how to bring them to the surface? What are the types of shadows? How society and us suppress shadows unconsciously? Are shadows the same as inner demons? Are there side effects to shadows being brought to the conscious?

Think of it from the orange scientific perspective, Your brain is full of neurons which are cells that require oxygen and food to survive. You can literally believe whatever and lie to yourself with all kind of lies positive or negative and you will act them out in life. Think of whatever you want and they become short memories and with reinforcement, these memories become long-term and think of every memory as one neuron cell that is alive and functioning and is biased just like humans and want food and oxygen for itself. The more you say I am loser, or stupid or nobody wants me, or Feminists are source of all evil, Islam is evil terrorist ideology, or I am sexy, I am hot or whatever you want to believe. Those memories and data you gather about specific belief grows and hence since every 1 neuron contains 1 memory, now they became 100 and 1000 and 10000 and 1000,0000 and 10,000,000 or 100,000,000 the more you reinforce this belief and those neurons all work to make beliefs alive by surviving themselves with more thoughts in your mind and those cells are biased and want to survive so they enter a war within you, will filter out any open-mindedness because open-mindedness means their death as living entity and they make you hate, fear, worry and cause you all type of psychological fears and worries just so that they can survive. The moment you stop feeding those beliefs and you are mindful of they wont go done without a fight, they will disintegrate over time of no use and this is called neuroplasticity. Self-inquiry and meditation and observing of thoughts create new living entities that will literally work for you and not against you and those new memories will fight older patterns and hence you achieve spiritual moksha. You can even make your new patterns produce DMT in your pineal gland and you experience Prophetic, non-dimensional, nonphsyical realms, open up things you weren't supposed to know inside your physical body and abilities.

Remember to not hold any beliefs, because essentially all beliefs are illusory and memory content within your brain cells and mind. Don't feed those memories so that they don't grow more and those cells become like living systems that act and believe and prioritize food and oxygen to themselves and they end up controlling the way you see the world. If they are so big of memories and living entities, start by starving them and expect all kind of fears and struggles and worries because these living machines of cells will die out and watch how they will fight hard, just the way you do in real life. You can literally believe whatever the heck you want and nurture those beliefs in your brain and they grow become living and manifesting beings in you.

Falling off is very natural and you have to accept this. Your life and demands and circumstances and situations always jump in your face. Sometimes those urgent situations take a day or days or week or months, where you have to solve, and you get back again. The most important thing is to do the practice for as long as you can, in fact the moment you do what you want, you will leave a print of it in form of memory, and as you reinforce this memory by practicing and charging it with emotions, labors and energy, it will become grow from a single memory to collection of memories that will become sensory, motor, intrenurons forming synapsis and linkage and growing and with more practice they will grow denser and those neurons become like a living entity in you, they will prioritize itself and survival over other tasks and hence you naturally desire to do it and soon this living entity of neuron cells start taking over your brain and reinforcing what you want(no prejudice, life purpose,present moment, eternal love..etc.) Just don't lose hope. I always fall and so everyone else. Look at my mind map that I created it. Flow chart of falling behind on Life purpose and spiritual path.pdf

Your laughing at yourself and smiling because You don't feel left out. When You see everyone here has the same symptoms, it makes you appreciate people, love them, laugh when they act arrogant because you are conscious of their problems which they are unconscious of. It somewhat healing. It puts in position of self-love and path of pursuing the ultimate universal love which is the stillness and timeless presence in the moment, the godly value of presence free of the mind and its methods(analysis, talk, dialogue, debate, insults, synthesis, symbols, chatter, gossip, hate, desperate, past, future, time, worries, fears..etc.). Usually you see rich people, who have a lot of material wealth, after acquiring wealth and enjoying it, they end up on spiritual path while they leave their material wealth behind(foundations,inheritance to their family members, investment in other countries, programs) while poor people follow material wealth and hollowness that rich people left behind and no longer feel the high from the money. Pursue this timeless presence in the moment of complete silence and flow that is worth more than the material wealth of the entire world, and you will have the world at your hand.

This is a Mind map I created by gathering data of forum and people in general and myself on why they procrastinate and suffer Mind Map of Predictable Self-actualizers pattern noticed in the forum

Masturbation is not natural but its OK. Its only made possible by computers and recorded sex videos. Sexual urge is natural. Sexual urge is the strongest part of Human being, humans will prioritize it over food or sleep or home. You will always go back to masturbation or having sex. The key is to not cut it off or see as bad thing. Is just to get back to it after a period of time so that you don't use it as comfort or as mean of escape or high to run away from reality. If you use it too often, you will burn yourself and experience symptoms of sexual exhaustion and that take long time to heal and you may look older than your age.If you use it too little, you become hypersexual and aggressive. The key is practicing it for example like every week once or every two weeks once but cutting it off completely is challenge. You can learn about transmutation of sexual energy and this people use it to become smarter, look younger, healthier, more beautiful.

You sound a lot like me and many people I know from this forum and my life. I believe majority of people are like this. This is the oneness of life where you get to know yourself through others. What worked for me personally is to stop talking and focus on my body sensations and observe with love and silence, and distance myself from time and just observe. The more I innocently be myself and talk more and sound smartass and people feel threatened and become enemies. I remember whenever I am silent, people don't want to get closer, but when I am silent and In the present moment and repeating graceful mantras of affirmations, they tend to gravitate toward me more and I am now threatened lol To get to impress people and stop manipulative behavior is to be silent and observant and catch the thoughts and deceptions and distant yourself and say that's not who i AM. Don't try to impress anyone so that you don't lie, people are not stupid, they are well-equipped with hidden lie detectors.

What I realized about social anxiety is that very curable and develop methods for myself but I am expanding them: 1.Is this anxiety inner or outer? If it's inner, what did I do that caused this anxiety? I start looking inside and questioning and feeling my body and hypothesize then I go search online. I ask myself did I masturbate or had sex? maybe I suffer from post-orgasmic illness syndrome and hypothetically I assume an increase prolactin and inflammatory response chemicals that cause men to fatigue withdraw from society to sleep more until refractory period ends and new semen is generated. What works is Adaptogen Herbs and multivitamins and fats that Increase more testosterone and dopamine, serotonin ,exytocin and GABA that lower prolactin and even Anti-inflammation pills like ibuprofen helped me so much. Also, I ask that did I watch some of leos videos or explored existential topics? Usually whenever I watch or read about existential topics that target to alter my ego or ultimately the trajectory of my destiney, I tend to isolate to think more and don't like to socialize. I usually go watch some lower-self appealing stuff like netflix tv shows and comedy to relax my over-freightened ego, wallah I become sociable person again. Also Ask did I eat something that cause inflammation in my own body that cause my symptoms of withdrawal. I discovered that after taking any anti-inflammatory spices or pills like Turmeric I become calm within and become gradual social person I also ask did I stay away too long from people like a day or two? I noticed its natural to be afraid of people for few hours and then noticed fear is like Peak shape curve and it peaks around first 4 to 5 hours and drop dramatically as long as I stayed outside and again went outside tomorrow more. I Also noticed, that whenever I do gratitude of existence exercises of visualization, journalling, meditation that target my shadows like fears, embarassment, rejection, guilt and start loving everything about existence the good and the bad, when i go out I smile more and love others. Self love is very important and curative. Surrender and acceptance and approval of everything is curative. Lastly, having a darwin mindset of survival of the fittest acquired by toxic websites and people about dating and opposite sexes is just going to make you afraid forever unless you achieve enlightenment in this aspect of your mind. Charles Darwin evolution is one perspective and even small one and this universe is so big and graceful and abundant that you don't need to compete with anyone at all. Outside factors are rare most of the time but inner factors like mind and physiology play a significant role in your social anxiety. If you could at least forget about yourself for few hours, you can socialize like a maniac.

@Hellspeed Thank you for eye-opening response, I noticed that. I just used some of the wisdom he shared to declutter my mind and help me with observing the pattern which I am not.

Yes it will. You just need to learn how to meditate properly with focus and concentration, do some breathing like holotropic, take psychedelics and be patient when you can't control yourself, What to eat and not to eat in order to not fill your body with toxins like excitoxins, gluten, decyl, parabens, additives that cause damage to your mind and inner body that takes so long to heal, You can go spend sometime with Gurus who will teach you techniques they realized to help you open up blockages in you and access enlightenment faster than 5 years if you are serious but it will be sooooooooooooo much work. You will learn about yourself so much and your going to be so much fulfilled.

It's just how it is. unless you become consistent, you will always fall back to ground zero and you have to suffer to get to your way up gradually everytime you fall back.

@Ingit Don't expect results too fast. You must suffer to get results. To learn to be in present moment you have to develop this skill. 10,000 hour on avg for any skill to master it. You may need 5 years of consistency and correct practice to reach that state. Do not expect easy way in, just don't give up or you won't be able to move forward in your life. To feel bliss you must work for it.

I still backslide till this day. I do 2 weeks of progress then something urgent happen, and lose all progress, then all my symptoms comeback but then I work on myself again and within days I gradually reduce my symptoms of procrastination, worry, racing thoughts, antagonism to people by the end of the week i achieve serenity, and serenity goes on as long as I am consistent but hits plateau whenever something is urgent or demanding that makes me incapable of being consistent and I slide again. Thank god, now I cut the symptoms by half, I made mind map model of all my expected symptoms and worries and fears and the steps I take to reduce them. It's just how it is man. It takes on average 10,000 hours of consistency to see big results.

Work on both. Personal development is the top priority. When You are able to control yourself with ease, people will gravitate toward you and you get to understand them and maybe they introduce you to others and hence you grow the circle of people you meet. You can understand people better by quieting your mind.

Enlightenment just solves your inner problems. You still have to feed yourself, deal with people who want take advantage of you, build relationships, tidy your room, learn more stuff. You can be stinky enlightened person or you can be cool preppy looking enlightened person.

You are simply the most coolest and amazing person. You listen more, You hide people's flaws, You ask people about themselves, You are agreeable until something serious you can't agree upon, You laugh off topics and insults and allow people to feel comfortable around you, You like to please others which is not a bad thing. You go with flow and let things slide, You make others people love themselves and they in return share your invested love back with you. Nothing seems odd about you at all. You are advanced social guy. I on other hand, I can't keep my mouth shut, very confrontational, joke too much, I can come sometime as very aggressive and jerk and this has empowered and served as disempowering force to me as well when I deal with professors, officers, managers or any person of higher ranking position than me it almost got me killed and costed me so much valuable relationship at that particular time, but true friends remained. Your way I believe is very powerful to make friends but it can attract so much fakers and people with extreme emotional disturbance. You can make diagrams of your problems you need to tackle and work on them. I can learn from you and you can learn from me.

What worked for me, is reading books about Human nature and Human relationships and power dynamics and boundaries, Reading about different personalities(zodiac, MBTI, ennegram test) to not fall into the trap of thinking all people are the same and react the same way to all people whenever you feel emotional turbulence.

Well It doesn't work for short period unless you sit and contemplate and question this. It worked for me greatly but what actually worked my own unique realizations and conclusions but as soon as my life reaches peak of intensity, i tend to fall back and return to the point zero. whenever I remind myself and do the spiritual practices, things gradually become good again with days and weeks of consistency. It doesn't work for one or today because if you think about it, is just sooooo deeply hardwired inside each one of us to care what others think due to hundreds or millions of years of humanity. We are still newbies in this technological era(most people only realized technology like 80 years ago and human rights almost 50-60 years ago). We still struggling to survive everyday and we still retain almost all of our internal chimpanzee emotions and features and survival mechanisms. Just look at documentaries of Chimps excommunicating out members who are rebellious or murdering them. Nobody is going to murder you if you are in western country by not caring what they think. Just realizing this makes allows me to reduce symptoms by 15 to 25%. The other half is reviewing my deep investigations and affirmations and mantras and visualizations. I recommend you read the gift of fear by Gavin de becker. It will help you understand this most profound mechanism in you, and point out the trap of excessive fear and worries that are just unnecessary.

I recommend you learn about human nature and yourself. I recommend: Iron John by Robert bly<----Book for masculinity and transitioning to adulthood and drive for life I recommend: les giblin books of people skills, power and confidence<------Understand people's egos function and how to respect them and they respect you back and build rapport and connections. You learn about your own ego as well. I recommend: Frans de waal books of chimpanzee politics, apes within us<---How humans still behave like chimps in everyday life, to recognize the behaviors in yourself and others and transcend them I recommend:Robert greene books of 48 laws of power<----To understand how human relationships and power dynamics work. I recommend:No more mr Nice guy <----Learn how to establish boundaries with others and integrate the aspects of your self. 85% of your success in live depends on how you deal with people. 15% is your skills and talents.

@Hero in progress Do not despair. Practice self-love and selfishness, appeal your needs first, just don't focus on others or how they kill animals. If you can't love yourself, you are not simply going to find somewhere else, you just add to the cycle of despair and you become like most people. Law of attraction"like attract likes." Your love for yourself and immense respect for your being, you are going to manifest it and others will gravitate toward you and will listen to you because they know You can offer them something so deep that sink deep inside their soul. You can change people's lives by first changing yours. Do not despair, just tune into netflix and watch how your state changes in one hour of awesome TV show. Just whenever you are overwhelmed, find a corner and close your eyes and observe your thoughts and breaths and emotional state. You know that what you feel is temporary, it will not be a long-term emotion as humans fluctuate constantly.

I burn myself to ashes for you!!

Kieran, Seems your Spirituality and Reality is in conflict. This happens to me. As soon as I Revise my notes I took from life purpose course, My brain machine guns ideas and hobbies and lay concrete for planning the construction... related to the leo assessment and exercise and the mind map i drew connecting all my answers and results from questions, yet when i do spiritual work and remember my death and life and suffering and godly love, my passions disappear and I question all the concrete plans and Process flow diagrams for 10 years ahead and say what's the point. It's just trap by the the Self whenever it feels down. I remember leo said in his video titled" how to deal with loneliness while doing actualized work". He mentioned that any time you do actualized work, you are going to feel lonely and isolated and even become pessmisstic and nihilistic because the self is more interested in social and optimistic side of life while soul is differen't dimension. Soul seek loneliness while self week congregation. Just remember that this is just your YOU or self is depressed but Your passions are valid. Don't fall into the trap. The only to know your concrete foundations are not your life purpose is to build them and see if they fulfill you or not.

Also, I would do alot of social gathering events and make it as much fun as possible for young kids to find partners. We will even meet with parents and people who want to date and match make them, and invite them to seminars to educate these matchmaked kids to invest in one another and look at long-term benefits of staying together