doubld

@pluto I like that picture so much

Ive made it to 400 days in the past and I can tell you for sure my life changed as a result of it. I've been struggling off and on for the past year and a half, but I'm currently on my biggest stream since I started again, day 22. Please do it, it's a game changer. Sometimes you just have to ignore the more spiritual advice and just do the practical changes. I strongly recommend hard mode (no porn or orgasm). You will see the gains come significantly faster. If you struggle with nofap, then it's a sign that your addicted to either porn or orgasm, and that you need nofap even more

Hey guys! So much like Leo, seduction/pua material is what introduced me to the field of self-development, about 3 years ago now. While I've made significant gains in all areas of my life since them, I still have a problem with girls in general. A couple years ago, I would sulk and be extremely sad if a girl rejecting me or if a relationship ended, or even if I was single. Nowadays, it's not so bad. My girlfriend of 9 months lost interest and I broke up with her, and while it sucked hard for a couple weeks it's definitely the best rebound I've had after a break up, I've definitely used it to better myself. But now the problem, I can absolutely be happy single now, but I can't help but still have girls be the one of the top focuses of my life. If I know I'm going to meet up with a girl later during a random day, that day becomes significantly better. It's a level of happiness that I can't recreate or even come close to if girls aren't involved. And this worries me cause 1) it's screwing me up in relationships cause I tend to get a little needy later on 2) I want to be able to experience the happiness I feel with girls in other areas of my life that are more important to me. I'm already doing the cookie cutter stuff (Meditation and exercise habit, eating healthy, working on myself) and it has worked to an extent. What do you guys recommend to fix this problem even more? Should I try to shut myself out from girls for awhile? (Not avoid, but just don't pursue at all) Should I try to date as many girls as I can to get it out of my system? Where are you guys at in regards to this? Would love to hear it. I'm 18 by the way, that probably holds some importance

Tell us about your story: your life before, what made you transform, the difficulties you faced, how you live now. I'm struggling to take the first step, and I bet many others here are too. Hearing someone from here give a first hand account would help a lot of people out I think (:

Hey guys, my name Is Andrew, I'm 18 and it is time for me to change. I spent the first 16 years of my life with tons of emotional problems. I turned to self-help stuff during my Sophomore year and it really helped me through a lot of it. I feel pretty happy most of the time, but it is a comfortable type of happy. While I haven't had anything like an enlightenment experience, I've had many times where I unhooked from all the external stimulation, and felt a deeper love for everything. So I know there is more out there for me. While I've studied Enlightenment a ton the past 6-7 months or so and know of the possibility that I don't have to change anything to become the ultimate, I'm gonna leave that on the side right now, cause I've used it as an excuse to not take action for too long. I have very big aspirations, although I don't know what they are yet. I also have always had a deep belief in myself to accomplish anything, which I am very thankful for. So here is what I'm going to do. I'm going to list a set of daily goals for myself, and write a small report every day. 1) Quit engaging in mindless sexually stimulating content: This includes porn, fantasizing/daydreaming about girls, objectifying girls. I'm also going to include masturbation for now, but may reincorporate it later if I can handle it maturely. 2) Meditate for AT LEAST 20 minutes a day: Straight forward. I had a good run going during summer, but it has become spotty recently. 3) Only engage in leisure activities 4 times every 2 weeks: Strangely specific, but this way leaves it more open ended than only twice a week. This one I am guessing will be the hardest, since I am constantly playing video games. Once I am able to do this goal easily, I am hoping to decrease it even further, but we will see how it goes. 4) Cut wasteful internet time out: Also going to be very hard. Not going to put any specific restraints on this one. 5) Practice singing everyday at least 1 hour: Singing is definitely my biggest passion right now. I've been doing it for over a year, and don't feel very competent yet, but I have a feeling that a breakthrough is coming soon. 6) Set aside 30 minutes a day to complete future projects assignments: Straightforward way to combat my awful procrastination habit. 7) Read at least 30 minutes a day I didn't include anything about exercise, because that is one thing that I actually have down already :D. Alright, I'm ready to do this. PLEASE SPAM THE FUCK OUT OF ME IF I STOP DOING THESE UNEXPECTEDLY.

DAY 1 (TECHNICALLY DAY 4) Well I'm off to an awful start. But it is ok, the important part is that I'm back. Here is how I did on my goals these past few days (Stealing format from other user, can't remember his username) 1)Quit engaging in mindless sexual content (8/10) Pretty okay honestly. Didn't watch porn or masturbate at all, which are the big two. I did look at my ex girlfriends twitter once or twice, along with a crush I have right now, but that is all honestly. 2)Meditate for at least 20 minutes a day (5/10) Did it on Saturday, then slacked Sunday and Monday. Today I actually had a couple sessions, which doesn't make up for the missed days, but counts for something. I think it is most beneficial when I meditate in the morning, so I'll do that tomorrow. 3)Leisure activity quota for 10/16-10/31 (1/4) Went to a friends house yesterday and played Smash Bros for a couple hours. I know it has only been three days, but I feel like I'm actually doing a lot better than I thought I would. 4)Cut wasteful internet time out (-10000/10) Did very very bad on this goal. Not much else to say, just need to get better the next day 5) Practice singing everyday for 1 hour (7/10) Did pretty alright on this one, completed on saturday and sunday, and replaced it with practicing guitar yesterday since my throat hurt. Need to complete the hour for tonight still though 6) Set aside 30 mins to complete projects for school (/10) Didn't do it :/. Honestly it was mostly because I forgot about this goal. 7) Read at least 30 minutes a day (5/10) Completed this today and yesterday, and that is it Overall Pretty much started as expected. I think the first two goals in my list are the most important. If I am able to stick to those very strictly, I'm certain the others will follow much easier. It is very hard to stay on track on days where I am completely free, so I really need to find a job in order to fill in some of that time (plus $$$).

I had a one year streak of zero porn and it was the best year of my life. I had such a clear sense of direction compared to before, it was unbelievable. I experienced the highest highs, but also the lowest lows. Then, I slowly started to watch it again. At first i was able to keep the benefits, so I didn't think it was too bad that I started doing it again. But now, I'm sorta back to where I started, struggling to keep a streak of more than 2 days. @Tancrede Pouyat i warn you, you may feel like you can handle having the porn back every once in awhile, but that is exactly what I thought. If you had a really good experience with nofap, I encourage you to NEVER watch porn under any circumstance ever again.

Fuck, I have no idea how I'm going to structure what I'm about to say, so I'm just going to start throwing stuff out there about my life story. It may be long, but please follow. I just need some kind of reassurance or something, I have no idea. If you don't want to read my whole life story and want to skip to the bulk of the problem, then go to the next bolded line I grew up in a somewhat emotionally abusive household. My dad was always a very angry person, my mom was very out of touch at the time, yada yada you get the point. They got divorced when I was 13, and I would primarily stay with my mom from that point on. While she never did anything bad per se to me and made me feel like she cared, she was also very much out of my business, so I was kind of left to do whatever on my own.(Not sure if this is even relevant but whatever) I would say I hit my rock bottom of my life so far around when I was 15,16. I had a fair amount of social anxiety, hardly any friends, played video games all day, and was watching porn every day 3 times a day. One day, I decided I had enough and wanted to change myself. So I turned to the only thing I knew where to get answers from, the internet. I started with simple self help videos such as "fake it till I make it" in regards to curing my social anxiety. It seemed to be working pretty well. Around this same time I had been going to Confirmation sessions for the Catholic Church (I had been an atheist at this point, but I went because i didnt want to tell my mom). During March of 2014 (still 15), One of these sessions was a weekend retreat which I went on. I opened up for the first time in my life and told people about the problems I was going through, and a whole bunch of other positive things. I felt a sense of inner love and peace that I hadn't been able to experience prior to that. I felt like a brand new person after that retreat. I somehow quit porn cold turkey, not for a religious purpose but for my own well-being. I started being more attentive and loving in my everyday life, and a girl actually approached me and started dating me (I had tried desperately to get with any girl up to this point). While I never actually attributed any of these positive effects to Catholicism itself and still basically considered myself an atheist, I started volunteering extra time to the church just because the community was so loving and kind. And honestly, I was able to get behind a lot of what they were saying. So for the next year, my lifestyle totally changed. I started volunteering for many different local activities, I started a strict gym routine, and I cut my video game time in half. I also got into pickup around that time, coupled with the fact that puberty was pretty nice to me, I became pretty good at attracting girls. I was always able to get them super into me, but always failed to keep them interested for longer than a month because I was still pretty needy. I had my first actual girlfriend from december 2014 to february of 2015. She broke up with me a week before prom, and I came home and binged on a bunch of self help videos. AANNDD this is the day when I first discovered Leo. He was more into basic self help stuff that I was still into at the time, so it really appealed to me. I also started to take my new hobby of competitive super smash bros more heavily around this time too. So the next few months or so were pretty great minus the occasional bad feelings from the break up. I was able to flirt with a lot of girls, learn a ton from leos videos, and met a ton of new friends through smash bros. Then one day, out of nowhere, I relapsed on porn. I didnt think it was that big of a deal, just once, but it quickly became a habit once again. Not as bad as before, but still about 4 times a week. (I promise Im getting to my point soon) That summer of 2015 consisted of me working two jobs, and getting better at smash bros. My goals sorta took a backseat. When my senior year started, i took a leap and joined the school choir, even though singing in front of others is one of my biggest fears. It went well for awhile, and I met my ex girlfriend early in the year. I knew in the back of my head the whole time that she wasnt right for me, but i kept at it anyways. I started getting into more of the Enlightenment part of leos videos around this time. The concept really fascinated me, and I started to study it pretty heavily through other sources as well. The rest of senior year was very VERY comfortable. Although I still had quite a few things going, I was still devoting most of free time to leisure and dicking around. TL DR: Grew up in not the best household, hit my rock bottom at 15. Mix of self motivation and spiritual experience at Church Retreat brought a transformation within myself that I was able to carry on for about a year. After the year, relapsed into many of my old habits, but still retained a comfortable borderline happiness up until this summer. So here is where the problem comes in. At the beginning of summer, a lot of the activities I was involved in, helpful to me or not, stopped either voluntarly or it ran its course. I pretty much only had my girlfriend, my #1 hobby competitive smash bros (a video game), and enlightenment work. However, I still felt very comfortable and happy with my life, which I attributed to my frequent but not yet daily mediation habit and self improvement work. I knew I had to overcome a few things, like kicking my porn habit again and deciding if keeping my girlfriend around was the best choice, but I thought it wouldnt be too hard. I went on a roadtrip with a good friend of mine and it was a good experience. I was away from stimulation for about 4 days and came back feeling a lot more loving, much like the church retreat, but on a lesser scale. As soon as I came back, I hung out with my girlfriend then went to a tournament for smash bros and just had an amazing week. She then went on vacation too, which I was fine with as I didn't have needy issues as long I knew she was still into me. I went on a second roadtrip, this time twice as long and with family that I dont see too often. Although the trip was rather painful at first, I had become an emotion machine by the end. I experienced the highest highs and lowest lows that i had in a long time. I came back and was super social with my family which is still an oddity, and i felt more attentive with my girlfriend. I hung out with her once after my trip before she had to leave again till basically the end of summer. Long story short, she definitely lost interest over this period, and I experienced anxiety over it. This shocked me, because i honestly though i had some sort of mastery over my emotions at this point, but i let the anxiety get to me. I broke up with her a month ago, and here i am. Im actually sorta over her now, but that is not the point at all. Im 18 and just started community college. Ive now come to two major realizations over the last month or so 1) I am still very low consciousness 2) Im being a total fuckup in my everyday life. All I do during my free time now is play smash bros, which I justify by telling myself that since it is competitive, it has potential to be fufilling. Ive tried to quit a few times now, but I couldnt do it, Im addicted I guess. Today for example, I got off school at 2, played smash with friends till 7. surfed the internet till 9, practiced singing/mediated til 1030, then surfed the internet again/watched porn till 2. But here's the thing, I still feel "happy". I dont feel like im suffering. Despite the shitty external circumstances, I feel like ive made some progress with my psyche. But in the back of my head, I know I have to make bold moves soon. I want to transform my life again: I want to stop watching porn, I want to stop craving sex, I want to start a band, I want to find my life purpose, I want to be loving, I want to live to the fullest. But I feel happy now. I have so much more to say I think, but there is already enough to digest here. Please give me any feedback you have, ask me to clarify things, anything. I need some sense knocked into me or something.

It means a lot to hear your encouraging words. Thank you, I will be sure to check out the link and get back to you!

Hey guys! I have been meditating off and on now for a little over a year, but I finally started doing it consistently about two months ago. So earlier today, I was doing the do-nothing technique, and something happened that has never happened before. It literally felt like I was directly following wherever my awareness went, or in other words my awareness and attention were synced up together. I guess I don't really have a specific question, just wanted to see if anyone else experiences this, or maybe this is how this type of meditation should happen?

@Arik Thanks for the lengthy response! I'm happy i finally got a taste of results and now I'm that much more motivated.