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yes i think the issue was i misunderstood your message, the communication style is hard for me to understand personally

wow i really like teal swan i need to watch more of these videos

i also spend a lot of the time dancing around or meditating in feeling into the imagination of fantastical scenarios or colors to the point where it feels like a full body orgasm lol

@CreamCat music

@Gryner lol yes I had a similar experience, i was having constant spiritual experiences before i found actualized and the stuff on here just caused me psychosis, i didn't;t go to the hospital but i was going to see a therapist if i didn't get better. Except your feeling like god and fearless part, thats how I felt before but it felt amazing not like i was intentionally trying to kill myself for no reason lol, from this site i stated to believe i should commit suicide as soon as possible and that is enlightenment. which was 180 from the profound mystical experience life i was having before where every moment was like this profound dream i was having so idk, maybe he is just difficult to understand and is saying something in a way that we are having troublee understanding. but the way he says it makes it seem to me like he is saying that i should literally commit suicide right now and that is what everyone should do

everyone is inferior to you, everyone else is weird, you are the god of your own universe and what you like is best

in fact i have zero idea about any outside world other than my immediate moment to moment experience and boards like this, i literally live in my own fantasy world and just make art and go have fun all day with part time easy work on the computer! This is the way to live! COMPLETE DELUSION! EXACTLY HOW A CHILD LIVES! that is TRUE HAPPINESS!

@CreamCat wow this video is exactly how i feel. and felt before i stumbled upon and then ditched enlightenment and spiral dynamics. I had zero self consciousness in comparison to others because i just only valued whatever resonated with me and cared about nothing else. anything else is just trying to live up to some ideal like "enlightenment" or "spiral dynamics" which actually causes suffering ironically...amazing video!

just saying that i was diagnosed as orange by someone who worked with the author based on my value system, it wasn't a long conversation but i think a lot of what i would say seems like purple, what i experience daily is completely transnational and mystical and also seems nothing like enlightenment

@Barry J lol the moment i let go of spiral dynamics and enlightenment i was in constant bliss and mystical experience once again!

in fact enlightenment seems anti-spiritual it sucks for me. i only care about spirituality aka my own individual energetic resonance at all costs, not some bullshit suicide.

@Rilles This is not true. You are basing this off of one person. I was diagnosed as orange by someone who works with Don Beck, and I am extremely happy in fact the happiest person i know. I just have mystical experiences all day. I am probably a narcissist/sociopath even to the extent that i only love myself and only care about my own unique energetic resonance at all times and following that. I have virtually zero self consciousness in terms of comparison to other people. I only do what naturally resonates with me personally at all time. I feel like I am leaving my body half of the time I have such a deep connection with reality almost every second and my vibration is so high. I meditate for 2 hrs a day and almost feel like I am leaving my body, it constantly feels like I am high with no drugs. The Real Spiral Dynamics as intended by the author and not Leo's version has virtually nothing to do with spirituality. In fact spiral dynamics and enlightenment were the only things that I tried that made me feel bad. instead i focus on profound metaphysical experience and energetic resonance at all times - uniquely mine. I am a selfish motherfucker and that includes only going for my own selfish spiritual experiences in deep metaphysical connection with reality but giving zero about anyone else wellbeing.

@cetus56 and as the car example ive never really been a keeping up with the jones' "one-upper" type, more of a follow your heart type, and that is difficult to do when you're actively trying to kill yourself hahah

@cetus56 When I say social pressure i mean compensation for not living up to a standard that i perceived, so yes i would definitely call that ego.

@cetus56 I would agree with you, depending on definition. I got into this field initially because I wanted to investigate the nature of the amazing mystical experiences I was having that could not be explained with (obviously) any of what i had learned from school/life. And, to your point, I wasn't "trying" to have these experiences, they were just happening to me naturally based on living life in resonance with what i felt. Then, right you are, I went too far thinking I could get something out of this by efforting and figuring out intricacies instead of just letting my natural flow happen as I always had, which lead me down a rabbit hole of confusion and self consciousness and inferiority feelings to ideologies that I had never had before. As long as we're not defining the ego as "sense of self and sense of resonance and following that flow and inspiration naturally" and more defining it as "lets investigate this and try to figure out all these intricacies so i can live up to or be this thing outside myself" and more importantly "self in comparison to someone or something" or "self consciousness" then I would completely agree with you. I've learned to don't need to be someone, or no one, or everything, or "god" I'd rather just be me, wherever that takes me naturally.