Ingit

@now is forever How do you know thag I like In north, Yes My home town is in Shimla in the himalayas... But IM now out of India, Im in Harbin China... studying in University,(going to be a doctor).... I would tell you my story 2 years back I was well OK... I used to be a deep need... My classmates used to keep me down sometimes I feel... i had sleeping problems with my roomates.. Gets agitated easily if someones disturbs me in my studies...cared about my health a lot... so sometimes would think and think That IM OK... during those hard time I dont know what happened I started thinking negatively... I feel pressurized... My mOm even dont understand me... the changes only happened when i entered my university and started to face people on my own... I felt my behaviour change... i felt how people used to make fun of me.. say something bad to me and that all where it started

@Jack River Yes i can see

Daily: I will go for my daily Goals like studying, concentrating in class. SOON IN BETWEEN everytime I would think and question myself like Am i really student, Is it happening real for me or Am I intelligent? Am I in my real world!, Do Good and best things really happen with me?!!! These sorts of wuestions arises to question every moment... It seems harder to bypass the Psychological time especially for me!!!

@Jack River yes IM cuaght up in My mind, does that means I’m automatically in psychological time? is it not harder to bypass the Psychological time?

@now is forever Fragments & Partitions seems a like.....don’t they?

@Jack River not yet I think

@Jack River ??????

@SOUL ???✨

@Faceless

@Jack River yep I can see... they seems to wired a lot like our nerves....

@Jack River how so?? Fragmentation!! Right? How that becomes a Psychological Time

@Jack River yes Yes

@Jack River I know my thoughts, they make me fearful and I try to Like oh where did they come from, do i was supposed to think like that which don’t even is real to me.... these thoughts have have fearful feelings and I will try to watch them but they hug me and I feel like God.... what is happening... An i not supposed to live a free life.

@Jack River I know,,,, but how how how..... I try to observe everytime but finally gets sucked up by the pattern and deep

@Jack River I dont want to keep tHis thing going long, i want to end it up soon,,,,,, Maybe you are right

@SOUL ??? I agree... When Im with my truest self IM lost I forget all the worries and fears...

@SOUL I don’t know how these words came up in my mind... But The fAct is as soon as something pops up in my mind, I will start thinking about it... If i try to face them they feel real and hurts me a lot.... I am always worried during studying and very alert ? that “Maybe I dont know at what time any crazy thought will pop up and I will be sad and worried again”

@SOUL I feel very attacted towards them... If I don’t look at them, I feels like IM ignoring something very very useful but they are just weird false negative doubty thoughts

@who chit No i will still exist... When I want to ignore them or don’t want to be with them.... i feel like a strong force telling me to review and scan your thoughts once again what if they are True?

Maybe IM trying very hard.... I am doing mediation daily 2 months now... and Im still caught up in thoughts (negative doubts) causing me feel uneasy and distressed.... Knowing the understanding still I am not getting to the bottom of the Root

@Faceless I feel very heavy inside when I try to understand the fragmentation process , make me feel more fear and negative stuff.

@Brittany IM not ready !?

I was contemplating on “What is a thought” went for a 25 minutes session and after that what I was at a point that everything is a Thought, Every line I speak, every Line every word Every concept I pull out of my mouth is a Thought... Even The even IM referring here is a thought... Without meanings the things are nothing and My family and teachers at school put meanings into my thoughts... Without meanings thought are nothing... i mean How can i worry if I dont know what worry seems like... i worry because I know what worry feels like..and the feel is itself a thought of mind with meaning that I learnt in school and with elders... !

Yes I gets confused sometimes doing such things @Torkys