Justine

@cetus56 mine was more white or no colour at all. Was like my consciousness was trapped inside a box with nothing in it. It was horrid

@Leo Gura ok I guess it makes sense. I just dont want it to ever happen again.

@Nahm yes I am

@Leo Gura well I was very scared it was like my consciousness was trapped It's not the same void as lsd, I've had lsd void where everything shattered and return to the one and I was nothing in nothingness. Not same as the dmt void.

@Javfly33 I have mentioned I am used to psychedelics as stated I used to be on 600-700mg end of 2018 So taking 400 I thought wasnt a big deal at the time however considering firstly it has been a while as last time I did lsd was april 2019 and secondly this batch of lsd is very pure more purer than the last batch I initially was using. I know what I am doing when I buy. I'm very good resourced and do my research and checking thoroughly.

@Nahm tbh I havnt got a lot of willpower or integrity these days, I feel like I lost that when I failed my kids. And I feel as though I have following into a abyss. I've become a lazy hermit. Started drinking alcohol which I have now promised myself no more from new year. I was meditating this year for only 3 weeks straight. I believe I have witnessed the infinite and infact if it wasnt for my faith in what I know about God/universe I wouldn't of been able to handle the grief of losing my kids as well as I did. I just believed that it was all a part of the perfect construct of gods will and that everything would be for the highest greatest good. And that there is no good nor bad and everything just is neccessary. Because I have seen beyond the law of duality. I learned a huge deal of all this end of last year. Once you see something like that. Things will never be the same. I also remember glimpses of that trip when I do lsd but not the whole. I think it could be a very good reason as to why. Nothing matters I have nothing to prove myself to but myself because I am the only one that can comprehend any of this. Because it's my journey and mine alone. That's one of the things I remember. My diet back in 2018 was just vegan with a little fish here and there. And for short periods of time I practiced raw veganism with loads of super powders and juices ect.. But this year diet changed for the worst, started consuming milk and eggs which I have vowed I will now stop consuming. I hope all this answers your question and I appreciate your time and energy given to help me.

@Leo Gura hello, leo Do you think it could be a possibility that the shadow aspects and trauma ect are coming from the fact I do not having closure on knowing where I stand with my children and with all the law systems involved still going on with them? When i tripped before regularly on 600-700 with dmt while they were still in my care, i was completely different i think i may of got over a significant amount of trauma I already at that time, by just understand while sober, and through introspection and self enquiry and acceptance ect.. that is why I was able to have the metaphysical experience before witnessing the absolute infinite. But since losing kids after tripping on mushroom which lead up to it. Iv had alot of guilt shame and pain and grief inside me. On top of that realizing how much of my time I spend raising them and never having time for me which was a huge sacrifice to myself. I missed out on education and getting grades so I could get a decent job and now if I wanted to go back to school I have learming disability which makes it very difficult for me to learn and I'm just so disappointed in myself and my life and knowing I am to blame for it all. It is very hard to accept without feeling so hard on myself. I am Very uncomfortable in life. Should I still go on to using lsd while all this children and court stuff is on going and i and my kids dont know where we are standing? I already told the court i dont want them back in my full time care due to my mental health and focusing on healing. But I still dont know much else about where they will live and how much contact i will have with them. It's so frustrating. And very painful to face. It's been extremely painful and difficult for these past 8 months to the point I dissociate myself to avoid facing it ?

@Aaron p hello I abused mdma when I was 14 every weekend and it burnt out my dopamine and other receptors. And I'm very family with the terrible come downs they have, so very reluctant to take any more if that. This is also a reason as to why when I first started using lsd I discovered a normal dose of 300 wasnt working. Hence why only 600mg and 700mg worked. I started off with psychedelics end of 2017 I started with dmt and used here and there over a year or more then started lsd through out 2018. I was absolutely fine with it untill I had a bad experience on mushrooms like I said. I feel disappointed at how far I came and how strong willed and brave I was before to how i am now. I just cant believe I've become like this. But perhaps that because I have a load of new trauma since then as I have lost and grieved the loss of all of my children. I dont know if not having closure with knowing what is going to happen with them is a part of it ?

@Raphael this is a great journal, very inspiring, how are you doing now??

@Average Investor Thank you dear

Hello friends of leo. Back towards the beginning of this year I started noticing my old self /ego self starting to dissolve and my awareness increased significantly to the point i could sense energy in my energy field especially bad vibes that made me feel very uncomfortable and being so aware to notice my ego flaws and displeasing traits. one day I was sitting on my bed, freaking out and crying, missing the old me. It was all I ever wanted and I spend such a long time and put so much effort and struggle in, trying to get there it most definitely was not an easy process by all means. Alot of pain and trauma servaced it was a real struggle. But boy did I learn alot about me and why I was the way I was on a psychological scale and a quantum level. It was all neccessary for the grand scheme of this genius game God perfectly constructed. So why was I so ungrateful? I began to realise the old me was dying and the new me was a stranger even though the stranger was a better version of me and not only did I change but the world reflected change for the better back to me. everything was so great. But my ego through a tantrum and wouldn't let me let it go it was holding on by thread and somehow made it's way back leading me down a self destructive path. Before I knew it I lost everything I loved and life took the worse turning. My ego at this point now is fully grown back. after all them years of shedding the layers it is all back and I have to start all over again. Clearly there was something missing from my self actualization. Perhaps it was the meditation part maybe even more. I need to start the process from the beginning and do it properly this time. Any recommendations as to how to go about it? Also, has this ever happened to anyone else before and if so did you get your self sorted out?

"It is very easy to rant against the corruption of others It's much harder to carefully observe your own corruption and to let it go and to act with integrity that is the real worl here, both individually and collectively" ~ LEO GURA

My favorite from leo "Always do the most emotionally difficult, always do what is most emotionally difficult to do"

@Average Investor hello this is all very great infomation and highly resonates with me. Makes alot of sence in deed . Thank you so much

@Tetrapeter yes Thank you. ☺️

@Nahm so beautiful said. Thank you

@ZZZZ thank you for your input. You mention how I do not have to do anything to overcome my ego, but my partner who believes he has accomplished self actulization to a merging turquoise apers to my perspective to be somewhat forcing me to become actulized. Yes I want to master my psychology but I'd be more comfortable if I knew I could take it easy and go at my pace without fear of losing him if I do not change. He does reassure me I am going well and says he is proud of me all the time and says "I believe in you" often. Which is nice. I do believe if I'd of not met him I wouldn't of got this far. But I guess I dont really know as that's not actual is it! On this topic I'm now beginning to wonder if leo has or would if not, release a video on how to be a supporter to a loved one on actulizing themselves. Because I do wonder if he is doing it properly and it may be quite helpful. Going back to how I mentioned my old self, i guess what i really meant was that some of the personality traits that I worked so hard to rid myself of developed again. It's like a thick ugly layer of tough skin that if I apply self care to for a lengthy time eventually completely fades, then it starts growing back ever so subtle that I am not even aware of it and before I know it I wake up in the morning and its fully grown back!! Grr.

@Leo Gura hello leo. I have seen your ego back-lash video many times but as you say" enlightenment can not be bought nor taught" direct experience is needed in order to understand a concept fully. I find that each time I watch one of your videos I get a more deeper understanding of it depending on how much experience I have gained myself in between. So I will watch that one again today and see what i have learned that I hadn't yet before. I watched self deception part 1, Friday for around the 4th time in the past year. I literally had a huge light bulb moment as though someone just flicked the switch on! I understood it to a certain degree before, but not as fully as I do now. To be honest it effing blew my mind! Just goes to prove how everything has infinite depth.

@Maximus @Maximus Wow thank you for sharing with me Some of the traits listed resonate with me Apart from one, which was envying others. The rest though makes alot of sense. I may have to write these down and figure out a way of not doing them next time Perhaps il have to just be aware of the situation as it arises. Thank you so much for the great reflection. I really appreciate it. X

@SoothedByRain thank you.

Hello. Try including healthy fats into your diet. avocado, dates, figs, macadamia nuts, are top healthiest fatty foods that I know as of yet and contain great nutrional value. you can add avocado to smoothies everyday if you wish and figs can be eaten dry or fresh as a snack through the day. And they are so yummy. Look into to figs and how they were used for people that lost a significant amount of weight and hospitalized.

@OctagonOctopus Hello do you have any links or videos of Leo's that speak of this kind of work please so I can teach myself better. Also is shadow work same as self inquiry?

That is great to hear thank you so much for the response ?