eleveneleven

Can relate. I'm a man and was used to trying to brute-force all my progress. Then I hit a wall for years. It was only after consciously trying to connect with the feminine energy of the cosmos, so to speak, that I was able to start making progress again. As a human being in general, you need to be able to toggle both.

Yeah, I agree. I don't see the problem here. Like girls, like guys--or like them both. What difference does it really make?

Not all Internet marketing get-rich-quick schemes are MLM. MLM is just a subset of the get-rich-quick thing, and Tai Lopez is not necessarily this flavor of con artist. An MLM / pyramid scheme is something very specific: It basically relies on your buying into the "business scheme" and then you make most of your money by selling that same scheme to the next sucker. There is no real product. In reality, you are the customer and you are being sold to by the people at the top of the pyramid. It's inherently unsustainable. This is different from someone just selling you a supposed formula that will make you rich, and then it doesn't make you rich. This alone is not MLM. MLM is when you make money by recruiting people "under you" in a "downline" who will work the same generic system and supposedly make you passive income while you sip booze out of a coconut on a beach somewhere. As far as I know, Tai Lopez just sells courses and shit, which is not a pyramid scheme. Whether his ideas work or not, I don't know, but that's kind of irrelevant.

No it isn't. What about intersex people who are born with ambiguous genitalia? What about women who are born with vaginas, but have XY sex chromosomes? What about transgender people, where the sex of their brain is opposite from the sex of their reproductive organs? What about organisms besides humans, which may have more than two genders? Gender is black and white for most people in a social sense, in the way they see themselves and make an abstraction out of their bodies. In terms of the actual nature part of it, it absolutely is not--just like everything else, the separation is a human invention. As far as having a long list of alternate genders, though, I think that's kind of silly. It's just semantics, really. But I understand from the perspective of people who are trying to draw attention to the fact that it's not so black and white. Maybe some people need new language to describe themselves. This doesn't mean that new genders just popped out of nowhere, though. There weren't necessarily any to begin with. Yeah. Such a person would also be cherry-picking their information to serve an agenda, I would say. There are plenty of studies to the contrary that indicate similarities between the brains of trans women (born with penis) and females born with normal female reproductive organs. The physical, biological side of being transgender is now starting to be understood; these people aren't making it up just to play dress-up. And even if there wasn't some physical "proof" of this condition, I still don't see why people are invested in it one way or another. Let people call themselves whatever they want. It's just an avatar anyway.

It's really not that radical of a concept; it's just something you might not be used to. Look at it this way: You have more than one friend, right? And even if you had only one, your friend wouldn't get mad if you went out and made other friends, right? Having more than one friendship also doesn't mean that you're trying to make up for the flaws in the friendship that you have with your best friend. Every friendship is different. Poly (at its best) is the same, just with romantic relationships. It's not that it's a problem to have more than one romantic relationship, I think, it's simply that people attach a lot of baggage to their romantic relationships, so of course they can't imagine being able to manage all of that baggage from multiple people. For me, it's not that I "need" to have many girlfriends or boyfriends; it's just that if it happens, it happens. The same way that I don't go out at night with the intention of "making a friend." It just happens. Then it happens again with someone else. I think you may be stuck in the mindset of the way most of society views romantic relationships, and then you're simply multiplying it. Most people view their relationship partner as fulfilling a "role" in their life, and they get really mad when the person doesn't stick to the script. Of course there's drama if you try to multiply that and add more people. So in that case, then yes, I agree it can be an issue. There are people who are operating from this paradigm and then try to be poly and it just explodes it their faces. They were doing it for an ego trip, or because it's taboo, or because they were bored with their relationship and wanted to add another person to try to salvage some excitement. Those are all poor reasons to do it. However, if you approach romantic relationships from a completely different angle--a complete mindset shift where you stop seeing your partner as playing some fixed role in your life--then it's totally possible to be poly in a healthy way. Granted, it helps if you're not looking to build a household or anything like that, since usually people expect roles to be played in such cases.

Yes. People do it all the time. Whether it "fucks things up" depends on the maturity level of the people involved, not the act itself.

This. Also this. There's no real reason a person can't just say to his girlfriend, "Hey, I would like to have other girlfriends," if he intends to have those sorts of connections with other people. Cheating happens generally when someone doesn't have the balls to say, "I don't want to be monogamous," or they want to enjoy the apparent comforts of a monogamous relationship from their partner's end while still getting a side dish secretly. There's nothing wrong with side dishes. The problem is the sneaking around part where you're basically compelled to "pull one over" on your partner. The problem is that cheaters usually just lack the courage to be upfront about what they want from a relationship. Do what you want, OP...but if you find yourself having to hide what you do, ask yourself, "What is it here that I don't have the balls to do? Where are the balls lacking in my life? What am I avoiding?" Having said all that, it doesn't matter anyway, because OP's post is probably just a humblebrag, and he's unlikely to actually be seeking advice. (At first I wasn't totally sure just from the suspicious title, but then he mentioned the squirting thing.)

Still above ground? Not too late.

There are many ways to enter Green, and you'll just have to find your own (if you want). As someone who resisted Green for a long time, all I can say is that it really clicked when I stopped judging and objectifying myself, and when I realized that I indeed had feelings (but could not access them). Connecting with feminine people and trying to understand their perspectives helped in this regard, since they tend to have a more nurturing energy. Orange is a stage of owning up to ones shit and taking responsibility, but often it can go too far and become judgmental and too calculating. It's easy to blame people for things that are not their fault in Orange. This is part of the dissonance between Orange and Green. I would start by trying to bridge the gap between you and these women the same way you do with anyone in any other stage: discuss things in terms of direct experience, instead of concepts. Talk about how such-and-such thing feels to you or talk about your experiences as literally as possible without editorializing, judging, or turning it into an opinion. Do things that are not useful (draw a shitty picture, write a shitty song) and show them to the stage Green people. Get personal. Stage Green at its best is about radical honesty about your feelings and being vulnerable. To someone deeply entrenched in Orange, that vulnerability is scary, but it's the way to connect with Green people, women especially. To a person in Green, an Orange person can seem fake, artificial, robotic, soulless, or like they're putting up a front. Think of a used car salesman. When I was deep in Orange, I didn't think I was any of those things, but eventually I realized that I could have easily come off that way because these were coping mechanisms to dismiss my emotions, which I saw as useless distractions. So I guess I would just say to get curious and try to connect on Green's level.

I could be wrong, but consider this angle perhaps: Maybe she is rebelling because she just doesn't want the same things most people want in this world, and yet is being presented with only a few set, narrow paths to adulthood. Seeing that she's being forced into a cookie-cutter mold, and not realizing that she can just carve her own path (nobody ever tells you that you're free, usually, so she may not realize), her reaction is just to rebel and wiggle her middle finger at the world. It's understandable, in a sense. When a person behaves that way, it's usually because they feel misunderstood and are terrified that there may be no way for them to fill their needs in this world. Some people get depressed and lock themselves up in a room, and other people get testy and start listening to Insane Clown Posse. She may be giving up at the first sign of failure because she doesn't want that corporate life. It's easy to give up when you have no real desire for the end goal. Maybe she only just realized that and is pissed off because she feels like she wasted her time in school. Perhaps she just needs someone to tell her, "Okay, you don't want to have a normal job working for people in suits? Fine. You don't have to do that. You're not doing anybody any favors by forcing yourself, either. BUT, this means you'll have to be hella creative to make a living, much more creative than most people. So put your money where your mouth is and prove to this gay tree hugger that you're not a sheeple." Or something like that. Forget what stage she is; just try to understand her position from her perspective as best you can. Even if she just keeps responding that you're gay, you may be planting a seed in her mind that will bear fruit later. (Fruit...gay. There's a pun there somewhere.)

Yeah, I don't see a problem here. If this is your nature, then it's your nature. Everyone is a unique individual. Masculinity is also not necessarily about roughhousing and being a "bro" or trying to endlessly manipulate the universe of forms. But I suppose if you're not very masculine yourself, you might only notice the more superficial manifestations of it, from an outside perspective. This is fine, too. Just do you, man.

Look for women who want the same thing you do. Be the guy who comes off as someone who wouldn't judge them for having sex. Be upfront that you like to keep things "less serious," and don't sell yourself as someone who would make a good relationship partner. Show them an adventurous time and create a spontaneous vibe, but don't offer them any semblance of security. And don't be a douche. Call them afterwards and be casual friends with the people you have sex with if you can (this doesn't mean a romantic relationship). If your agenda is to approach them merely as sex objects--like walking vaginas--instead of as human beings, then usually they can sense it. Women are particularly sensitive to the idea of being "used." It's often very tied to their egos; this is why many women are resistant to having sex too quickly in the first place. So usually you'll have to make her feel comfortable with you first. And if she has sex with you, keep it a secret and never tell anyone. Don't brag to other guys. If word gets around, then other women who might have been into it will get turned off by your indiscretion.

Connecting with people in other stages is less of a problem if you have a community that supports your current stage. Otherwise, if you're only surrounded by people in other stages, it's like "you against the world," and that's only fun for awhile, then it gets annoying. I understand what you're saying. My parents (who came from a Stage Red/Stage Blue country, similar perhaps to the Philippines) and most of my family are very, very Stage Blue, and the more my consciousness shifted to a different "channel," the bigger the gap between us became, until it was very hard to connect with them. Weirdly enough, I found that once I switched over to Stage Green, though, it became easier to empathize with them and not take their religiosity so seriously. (Whereas when I was younger and leaving Stage Blue myself (into Orange), I found their religion offensive and super annoying.) This took time, though, and I had to put some distance between myself and my family to get to that point. (I made Stage Orange friends, integrated the Stage Orange culture of the area I was then living in, etc.) Look, this is what I suggest: Consider leaving the country, or at least try to find a micro-community within it where you can find like-minded people and fully integrate the next stage. You are clearly no longer a good match for the community that you're in, and this will create conflict between you and other people. Over time, in order to achieve balance, your mind will tend to try to harmonize with them and join them on their level, if only so that daily life will be less stressful. The social system will drag you back. If that's not what you want, and you also don't want to spend all your time alone, then I suggest finding a community of Stage Orange people, even if it means leaving your country. In my case, i was lucky. The country I live in is very big and different parts of it are at varying stages (some mostly Blue, some mostly Orange, some Orange with smatterings of Green, and a very small handful of cities moving deeper into Green), so I was simply able to leave a Stage Blue/Orange region and go live in a Stage Green region on the other side of the country without much trouble. In your case, it will probably take some serious planning, but I would start to consider leaving the country (perhaps somewhere else in SEA), or at least traveling to Stage Orange places. Sometimes until you've moved to the new place, you may not realize how much the old environment has been holding you back.

Fixed that for you. Seriously, though, putting my trolling aside, a person doesn't always have to directly experience something to know that it's not for them or that it's probably a bad idea. For example, I've never tried drinking rabid bat blood on a full moon, so I don't know if it will help my spiritual development or not, but if I read in some pseudo-scientific Internet article that I should give it a try, I still wouldn't do it. Why? Because I know that while there's a lot of good spiritual advice out there, there's also a lot of bullshit, and I'd rather not get rabies. Piss has stuff in it that my body clearly wants to get rid of. Why fight what my kidneys clearly want to do? Furthermore, there are people out there who advance spiritually without drinking their piss. I've made the (admittedly minuscule) progress I've made so far without drinking my piss. So for me, personally, I'd have no reason to do it. But what do I know? For all I know, ya'll are at an advanced stage that I could never reach unless I drank my own piss. Maybe that's the secret. Maybe the Gateless Gate is actually yellow and flowing with golden shower fountains of the Buddha's piss, and I will never pass it unless my own urine passes my lips first. But I doubt it.

Dude, that's like telling someone who is insane to "just snap out of it." Doesn't work that way. Hell, it's not like I have any better answers, though. All I can say to OP is that it takes time to learn "to be." It's not something that comes automatically, and it can take years. Trying at not trying is a mindfuck. In fact, privately, I sometimes wonder if we even have any say in it at all and if our practices themselves really make as much of a difference as simply the intention itself to seek liberation. What I mean by that is that sometimes you cannot let go no matter what you do; you can only be let go by the grace of God, so to speak. For me, the shift in consciousness began before I even tried to seek it. Sometimes you just have to wait for a miracle. Sometimes you just have to lie there, spread your legs, and let the universe do what it wants with you, even if it might not be exactly what you imagined that you wanted. Sometimes part of "being" is being distracted and unenlightened and being okay with that for the moment because that's how the universe is in this moment. Fuck, I don't know what I'm talking about. I thought I did, but re-reading it, it could just as easily be a bunch of bullshit.

If you're actually asking about how to live and grow beyond Stage Blue in a Stage Blue society, then I would simply say this: 1) Stop seeing yourself as superior to Stage Blue people. Avoid the urge to demonize them or look down at them as "primitive." Stop arguing with people. Stop judging them. Stop giving a shit. Everyone's journey is different. 2) Move. (In your case, to somewhere that is largely Stage Orange.) The second point is especially important. Humans are social creatures and the environment affects us more than we think. I did not fully collapse into hardcore Stage Green until I was in the midst of preparing to move from living in a very Stage Orange society to a Stage Green society. The problem was that even if you are ready to move onto the next stage, if your community is at a different stage, you have to engage in certain old behaviors just to survive and the social drag can really hold you back. Once I was living where most people were around Stage Green, it became a lot easier to drop the old Stage Orange habits, since people did not expect me to have them.

Yes, lots of people I see around me suffer from being ignorant of their true nature (including myself at certain points; I am not immune). Some of these people suffer deeply. Probably most people live their lives with at least some undercurrent of negativity, torturing themselves with every little thing that that they fail to acquire or accomplish. Not everyone is like this, of course. Some people can cover up their suffering fairly well, or find ways to avoid facing it directly, such as distracting themselves with superficial goals. When someone gets a new car or a promotion, though, does that really make them happy? In my experience, they're "happy" for like two seconds, then go right back to complaining about everything that's wrong. Then they move onto the next shiny distraction. I think this might be why extremely rich and famous people often have it worse than the average person, because they've run out of shiny things to distract themselves with: they can have anything they want, so they see what few people do, which is that nothing will make you happy. Once you've had a chance to have everything you've wanted, then you have an opportunity to suddenly see the emptiness underneath those superficial desires. Most people are "happy" because they haven't reached that point. Just having to live with an ego sucks, though, and most people have one of those. It's low-key torturing the person in the background and sucking up their conscious energy.

Maybe it's just me, but when I first heard of muscle testing, it seemed like 1000% bullshit to me. Just an excuse to judge others. Whether or not it works even in theory, it could very easily be hijacked by ones more egoic processes. Have a personal issue with someone? "What a coincidence, they calibrate at 20! No wonder I hate them!" It seems like muscle testing will more likely just tell you about the opinions of the person being tested more than anything else. (All of Hawkins' favorite music, books, and other things seem to "calibrate" so high; what a coincidence.) Even if pushing on someone's arm to receive messages from the universe worked, the person performing the test (and the reader) would have to be extremely free from bias for the messages to get through, I'd imagine. Having said that, I don't think the universe has an abstract opinion of what "level" of consciousness someone is at, I don't think it assigns numbers to us, and I don't think it sends special messages specifically through the arbitrary stiffness of someone's arm. This is a human invention, utter bullshit used to judge others as superior or inferior. Who cares if Eckhart Tolle calibrates at 500 or 3? His work either resonates with you where you are at or it doesn't. Even if "calibration" worked, what would you use this information for, anyway? To judge someone or something? I don't see what else you would use it for.

Yup, the laugh. I know that laugh. It's the "Oh God, this was all a dream! How silly that I didn't notice!" laugh.

Echoing what others have said, thank you Leo. Divine timing on this video.

You don't get it. Actually, we agree. You've repeated exactly what I said in different words. In a weird way, this merely proves the point that concepts are just vague approximations of reality, if I'm trying to tell you, "Yes," but you hear "No." I'm not saying direct experience means that the concept of "unconditional love" is some legitimate idea that means some universal thing that can be universally trusted. The opposite. It can't be "trusted." I'm saying that you're not taking it far enough, actually: It's not just unconditional love that is a BS idea, it's that every idea is a BS idea. We don't have to get picky about it. Yes, direct experience is something personal, which is why it doesn't "prove" anything from that third-person, objective perspective. That's exactly what I'm saying: I use words and concepts to try to describe that experience, and simply hope that other people have had similar enough experiences to know what I'm talking about. But that goes for ANY experience of anything in this universe; no words I could ever say could fully describe what I experience, even when it comes to mundane things. Whether it's unconditional love or eating a sandwich, I could never tell you how I really experience it. But the direct experience (of anything) still occurs privately, no matter what I happen to call it or how I slice it up with concepts. The concepts are secondary. You can slice up reality all you want and put it in different boxes of different flavors, but they are just words and concepts. THAT is the illusion. The only thing I can really say is that right at this moment, I'm experiencing something. What I call it doesn't matter, but I can try to give it a name for practical reasons. There is no need to "escape" concepts. There is nothing there to escape. Concepts are just tools of the mind that point vaguely towards things in direct experience. They are like applications that run on top of the OS of the mind and help us communicate and mentally organize the objects we perceive--but like software, there is an inherent meaninglessness in it. The 1's and 0's only have meaning because we assign this to them. Inherently, they are nothing.

By that standard, there's no such thing as the words you're using, either, and everything you just said is conceptual, an illusion, just as illusory as the concept of unconditional love. But it sounds silly to say, "Oh, your illusion is more illusory than the one I'm using to pooh-pooh it." It's all too easy to dismiss something as an "illusion" because it's not your preferred flavor of illusion. ("You're pointing to reality with the wrong finger!") All concepts (and language) are ultimately illusions, especially if we take them too literally, BUT these concepts can be useful as tools. They are metaphors that help us navigate the mind, so from that standpoint, there's nothing wrong with talking about the dichotomy of unconditional love vs conditional love, as long as we realize that these are just concepts that point to something, and that it will be inexact. Personally, I have had direct experience of what I might call "unconditional love," as well as "conditional love," so it does mean something specific to me. Language is vague, though, so we can only more or less hope that we know what other people are talking about when they say this.

Hey, Nadie, I can relate. (Though from a more male perspective, I suppose.) When I was in my teens, because I was so nerdy and awkward, finding a normal relationship eluded me quite a bit. So much so, that when I finally got into a serious relationship a few years later, I clinged to it very hard initially and put the very idea of romantic love on a pedestal without realizing. I felt like the relationship validated and completed me, though I would have never admitted that to myself at the time. Thankfully, the person was very compatible with me, and it evolved into a very intense and beautiful relationship for many years. We both matured through it. The real test was this: Eventually, even though the relationship was good (and we both wished to remain in it if we could), I was called to let it go. In order for both of us to grow, it eventually became obvious that we would have to let go of the relationship. In other words, something more important than the relationship--unconditional love for ourselves and each other--challenged the relationship itself and we needed to break up. I think that was the final external manifestation of letting go of that ingrained idea that I needed a relationship to complete my life: To be faced with a great relationship that I cultivated over many years, and to obediently say, "All right, it's time to end this," when my path dictated that. Sometimes that's what it takes: Acknowledging that there's something more important than the idea of a relationship, and prioritizing your relationship to life itself over any specific person.

Noooooooooo...! Nah, just kidding. Take your time, bruh.