eleveneleven

You keep making threads that lead back to the same core idea, the same level of thinking. And I'll say the same thing I said in the other thread: Go out there and do it. Go "own" a girl and have her "own" you. Approach the relationship with that mindset (while remaining as conscious as possible) and see how it plays out. I guarantee it will play out differently than you expect. Stop posting about it and just go do it. Then you will see for yourself why some people say it's a bad thing.

Do it, then. Find a girl like that (who is chaste and virginal) and date her. Sometimes the most efficient way to see how relationships actually work is to have one in practice for yourself, though you will have to live through it consciously to learn anything valuable. We can talk all about some theoretical girl, but experience is the only teacher. I say this because a lot of the things you're saying in this thread are actually 100% bullshit beliefs, based on your image of women, and not on how they actually are. "Each ex has a piece of her heart." Stories you are telling yourself about some theoretical woman. So quit telling stories and live the real story. Try to view the relationship with an open mind without applying your biases to it, and then see how it really is. That's the only way you'll really know. I used to have all kinds of unrealistic ideas about women, and most of them were built to compensate for insecurities that I had, though at the time I didn't realize this. I thought I had a strong self-esteem, but I didn't. Deep down, I wanted a feminine and submissive partner because it made me feel stronger and more masculine. It was only after I let go of that insecurity that I ironically was able to attract a feminine and submissive partner and have a healthy relationship. If you don't care that much about what your partner's agenda is, as you imply, then you will probably not attract a partner who cares about what you want. You will just be using each other for your selfish ends. You say you're fine with this, but what kind of relationship is that? Something so transactional will wear on a person eventually. Women who are feminine, submissive, and who will love you unconditionally do exist, but when you can't offer anything of value in return--like your own unconditional love and vulnerability--then they will not want to date you.

I could be mistaken, but most apes (orangutans, chimps, and bonobos) don't really mate guard, except for gorillas. At any rate, there are plenty of humans that transcend the need to mate guard, so I doubt it's hard-wired in humans, either. It's probably just a common response to insecurity, but just because it's common doesn't mean it's natural or that there's some bro science "genetic" explanation for it. More importantly, though, OP doesn't have a girlfriend, so he's not mate guarding. He is having feelings of jealousy and insecurity over a theoretical partner that he doesn't even have.

If what you imply in #4 is true and you don't have any female friends, then how are you so sure about #1 - #3? You don't have personal experience, so you must just be going by what you've heard second-hand. Where did you hear all of that from? Internet videos and forum posts by guys who similarly have no female friends? If you don't actually have experience with a variety of women from different walks of life, how can you know all these things for sure? I've been friends with extremely sexually undesirable women who have a hard time getting a boyfriend, or even just sometimes getting laid, believe it or not. They do exist. And many times, even when those undesirable women get laid, the guys don't want to be their boyfriends or go on dates with them in public. And I've seen more than one woman get dumped by a guy who lost interest in her or didn't want to seriously date her because she was ugly, too fat, or too old. True that usually the woman has to be super ugly or morbidly obese for it to reach these dire levels, but even for an average woman who has an easier time, finding some sap to date her doesn't automatically mean that the relationship will be good or that it will be what she wants. All humans have relationship challenges, even if they might be shaped differently. Sounds like you've just been filling your head with too much bullshit on the Internet. Go out and experience life. Stop treating women like they're an alien species. Meet some in real life.

Sounds like you're no longer a match for your old social circle, but you haven't transitioned to a new one yet, so all the people around you no longer satisfy you socially. That's fine. Sometimes you have to spend time alone before you go out and actively attract new friends. It can get lonely, though, which is why you'll probably still continue to have urges to socialize, and your brain will default to telling you to socializing with those old friends until you get new ones to replace them. Try being a bit more conscious about who you add to your life. Go to meetup groups that have to do with stuff that you're actually into, with people who want to do more than just get wicked drunk.

This reply is really fucking weird. But seriously, I don't get all these people on this forum putting women on a pedestal and pretending like being a woman means that you have no problems in life or something. As if women weren't human beings. As if there weren't super ugly women who have never seen a dick in their lives, or unlucky women who are economically disadvantaged, or women with low self-esteem who get dumped by every boyfriend they have. I think it's easy to make the mistake that if someone appears to have something you really, really desperately want (like many sexual prospects, allegedly), then you assume their life must be a bowl of cherries and they must have no problems. Which is of course bullshit. That's like when poor people assume that people with money automatically lead happy lives. My unsolicited advice to you is to make friends with some actual women in real life. Then maybe you'll have a more accurate view of them. They're just people.

You're right. Connection is something that has to be free-flowing and authentic. There is no "try." Conditioning from past rejection can be a bitch, though. There are parts of you that can connect naturally and easily, but they are buried under those layers. People are attracted to who you are when you are willing to be vulnerable and confident in that vulnerability. When you are unapologetically you, people will come. When you feel confident that you will be loved in general, you may even stop trying to seek that fulfillment from an SO altogether. The love becomes less specific. BUT, it's hard to get there from where you are. I can tell you all this and all the people here can try to talk you into being "confident" and realizing that "love is all around you" and blah blah, but it will do you no good. You have to experience this unconditional love, and that can't be induced by someone just talking about it. One way to get there is in fact this: 1) Start searching in earnest for a partner. Lower your standards to the point where you are willing to date someone who has huge, red-flag problems--someone who can enter into a co-dependent relationship with you. Find someone who complements and magnifies your neurosis and flaws surrounding personal relationships, so that these "demons" can be activated and then released (if you make an effort to be conscious of them). 2) Allow the relationship to run its course. Feel the pain of being attached to a specific person for those feelings of fulfillment and connectedness. Notice how it didn't fill the hole in your life that you thought it would. 3) Transform the relationship slowly. Exorcise the "demons" in both of you that caused the co-dependency. 4) Break up when there's nothing else left to do and you love each other unconditionally. (Or stay together if you genuinely can love each other without attachment.) 5) Look back on those years of your life and wonder to yourself how you could have ever sought fulfillment through a partner. In other words, I think you will have to experience what it is like to actually have a romantic partner before you can release this desire and transcend it. Just having us tell you won't do it. Find someone that you shouldn't be dating and date them. Forget about whether or not you're a "good catch"; that's totally subjective. That's just an extension of the common mindset that people deserve certain things for certain behaviors (or social status), and that's basically a lie society brainwashes us with. You don't find a partner (or anything else) by being a good catch; you find a partner by attracting a match for who you truly are.

Usually on Kindle you have to set a non-zero price, and OP seems to want it to be free. Books can temporarily be free through a program called KDP Select, but this is allowed only for 5 days every 90 days (IIRC) as a promotional thing. It also requires that you have an exclusivity deal with Amazon during a 90 day period, and it's a pain in the ass because you can't sell it or give it away anywhere else. Outside of that, there is a really roundabout and non-guaranteed way of trying to set your book for free on Kindle by setting it for free on other platforms, and then doing a price match on Amazon. That's really convoluted when you can just post it on your website or on Wattpad or something.

This avatar is green with smudges of yellow. Not yet fully yellow, I don't think. But to answer your question, I write for a living. I was a writer when I was in Orange (actually before that as well, since childhood) and I remained a writer as I went into Green and started integrating aspects of Yellow. However, the specific kinds of projects that I work on are completely different now. Many projects that I worked on in Orange or clients that I would have taken on would be unthinkable to me now. At the same time, projects that I dismissed as frivolous or risky in Orange are now things that I spend a lot of my time on. These days, projects also tend to choose me rather than the other way around. It's my job to surrender to them when they show up. I also make more money now, oddly enough. Green is not just hippieland. There are benefits to it on a practical level, too. Namely, people who are in Green and Yellow aren't that common yet, but usually they will strongly prefer to hire / work with / buy the products of other people who are Green and Yellow. For this, they are willing to pay more. One of the most important things for me though was that raising consciousness increased flexibility. For work, it matters less what you specifically do, and more why you are doing it.

LOL

You can publish it on Smashwords and Wattpad for free. Just make sure to put relevant tags on it so people can find it.

Yeah man, a private blog would work just fine. It could be like a journal. Personally, I keep a private journal as well on my computer. I use this open source software called RedNotebook. It's great if you're trying to write every day because it is in a calendar format and you can see what days you've written. You might want to make a public blog when you're ready, though, especially on a subject that you know a lot about. That way you can practice your writing and help people at the same time.

If you wrote the above, you can't be that bad. I've seen worse. First, I would say, get specific. What kind of writing do you suck at that you want to improve? Different kinds of writing are different. Fiction is completely different from non-fiction, etc. Then I would recommend practicing. Writing is one of those skills that has to be integrated into the subconscious, and though courses may give you some tips, ultimately the only way you will get better at writing is to read a lot and then write a lot. Start a blog or write a journal, and then go over and edit what you've written, improving it over time. Write every day. After 1,000,000 words, you probably won't suck anymore.

Ah, lighten up. This is pretty funny. The beat feels a bit too fast for him at times, though. Maybe if they sped up his voice a little.

My unsolicited advice: As it is now, it's probably best not to try to date anyone anyway. You will continue to fail unless you change your mindset. Go to a therapist or something and stop trying to fill the void in your life with validation. Btw, I don't think anyone here knows whether you're ugly or not. It's kind of ridiculous that you keep saying that people here think you're ugly, since all we have to go by is your avatar, which is a generic silhouette outline of a person. I'm starting to think maybe you just want people to say, "Yes, you're ugly." Look, even if you were ugly, who cares? If you're a woman (I assume), so you will still be able to find men if you're ugly. You might just have to date ugly men, that's all.

Very interesting topic. I actually encountered this problem almost immediately when I fully integrated Green. Because the whole status game of Orange dissipated, there was this void...this question of, "What am I left with?" It was also hard at first to find people who were on the same wavelength and who had reached Green. From my experience, though, the person doesn't have to have come to the same intellectual conclusions about life as you. As you ascend in the stages, explicit beliefs and intellectual understanding become less and less important anyway. The #1 thing that seems most important in my experience is this: Have they said "yes" to life? Or do they resist the flow of life still, like many people do? Are they willing to submit to the Universe? Regardless of their specific stage or their explicit beliefs, do they behave in such a way where they genuinely celebrate life? Is it sacred to them? Are they grateful? Also, if a person can't submit to the Universe (to God), then they certainly can't submit to you. This is something to think about if you happen to be a more dominant partner.

Haha, yeah, upon reading the title of this topic, I knew right away that most of the replies were going to be contrarian. "No, we don't need to know specifics about Leo!" Also, everything has to be deep and solemn, and nothing can ever be frivolous. Leo is a human being. A specific human being with a specific story. I think pretending that he's some sacred icon on your computer screen is worse than projection. I probably wouldn't watch such a video myself, but hell, why not? Maybe some people can find the concrete specifics of the life of a high consciousness person more insightful than all the abstractions. Humans tend to understand things in terms of concretes, after all. Of course, it might also bore Leo to make such a thing. I could see that.

Nothing wrong with being a ho.

You completely ignore my point. You cannot know what it's like to be something or someone--the subjective experience--from studying that thing's physiology. You cannot prove that animals are conscious. You cannot even prove that another human being besides yourself is conscious. You know why? Because you cannot prove a subjective experience. No amount of investigation, concepts, or abstractions will tell you what it is like to be something. That is a subjective experience. To assume that animals are conscious and that plants are not is completely arbitrary. There is no physical thing that you can study that will tell you one is conscious and the other is not, without your making the huge assumption that things are only conscious if they are physically similar to you. Since you don't know what it's like to be anything except yourself, how the hell do you know that you need a brain and nervous system to be conscious? It doesn't make any sense. You have nothing to compare it to, since you've never been anything that didn't have a brain, and you can't experience something else's consciousness from the outside in. So if anything, it is just as much up to you to prove that animals are conscious as it is for me to prove that plants are--which neither of us can. Quit being arrogant. You do not know what it is like to be a non-human animal and in fact you don't know what it's like to be anyone except yourself. There is no scientific mechanism you could use that would allow you to experience being anything other than yourself, either. Probably the only reason you are so close-minded about what can and cannot be conscious is because it opens an inconvenient can of philosophical worms for you. Life is not so simple, though. Quit bullshitting yourself.

How do you know that? How do you know that something needs a brain to have a conscious experience? Is it just because that's how you think you do it yourself? Aren't you just deciding whether something is conscious and can suffer based on how similar it is to you, then? Is it not possible that something can be conscious in a way that is totally different from you? You have a bias there. Why the hell does something need a brain to have an experience? That's completely arbitrary. I agree with @Joseph Maynor. Moralizing about the suffering of animals is a Stage Green trap. You identify with the animal and assume that its experiences are similar to yours and that they must suffer because they look similar to humans when they suffer, and they trigger those emotional buttons of compassion in you. At the same time, you assume that plants can't suffer or have a subjective experience because they don't show the same outward signs that animals do. But these are just assumptions. They could totally be wrong. A tree or a network of trees could absolutely be conscious and we'd have no way of knowing because they are too different from us for us to realize how they do it. This is especially true of a subjective experience, which would be personal to the plant. You make way too many assumptions. Personally, I think it's good to be vegan and to minimize the suffering of animals. But let's not pretend like we know for a fact that plants suffer less. We absolutely don't.

Yeah, hard to be perfectly fluent in more than one language. Usually one will take over the other eventually. English is technically not my first language, either, but it eventually took over. And yep, we'll just have to agree to disagree there. I'm a Spanish speaker, and I don't really see it as having any more (or less) inherent depth than English. It's just different. Maybe my parents were just plain-spoken people so I never learned any of the fancy talk, I dunno.

While I agree with your specific examples, I disagree with the overall sentiment. No offense, but I find that most people who say that English is not expressive or that the words lack nuance and connotation are victims of a blind spot. They are simply not experienced enough with English to pick up the nuance in the words, or else they simply don't have a wide enough English vocabulary to realize that it's actually a language with tons and tons of expressive terminology. I've noticed this sentiment is very common among people for whom English is not a first language, and I can't really blame them; most people with English as a non-primary language tend to use English mostly for business, science, etc--so their experience of the language is as something very direct and dry. Then they make the mistake of assuming that English is inherently this way, when it really isn't. At least, that hasn't been my experience with English. You can be direct and dry and (apparently) exact, but you also can take advantage of subtly and ambiguity rather well. You just will never see this deeper side of English if you use it mostly for business and other mundane concerns, that's all. I think English has many flaws, but I would say this is not one of them. As for its alleged exactness, I'm also kind of "meh" about that. There are languages that give off a more robotic air of precision than English does, I think. Then there's the writing system. That's what I would say is one of the bigger flaws of English: Its writing system doesn't match the way the language is spoken (there are like 5 times more sounds than there are letters), so it's hella confusing.

Depends on what you mean by "dating advice." In general, I agree, but... Hey, if you're not ready to be authentic, or don't even know what that means yet because you're so deeply entrenched in your ego, then just saying "Be authentically yourself!" won't fucking work. Some people need advice on how to navigate the twisty halls of the labyrinth before anyone can tell them that there is a way out of the labyrinth completely. So sometimes you need to be inauthentic before you can learn to have the courage to be authentic. Sucks, though. Of course it's better to be authentic from the beginning. It's much less of a waste of time if you go straight for authenticity. Some people just can't, though. It's kind of like when someone asks, "How do I wake up?" and people give them advice saying, "You already are infinity; there is nothing to wake up to." That might be "true" (or a finger that points to the truth), but will it suddenly burst the listener into wakefulness? Probably not, no. They need to take a more roundabout way. They need to play with certain types of lies before they see the truth. Burning through karma, perhaps? I was one of the hard-headed ones who took the long way to my current (greenish) level of consciousness. This is why I say this. I heard all of this advice and it fell on deaf ears.

Alcohol is a hard drug, and one of the deadliest in terms of total people croaking from it, BUT... Just as with anything, treat it with respect and be smart about it, and it's no big deal. A beer or a few glasses of wine every few months or whatever isn't going to do much. It's not the things we do every once in a blue moon that harm us the most; it's the things we do every day. As long as you don't have a propensity for addiction, I don't see a problem.

On the practical side, if you can cultivate an interest in women who are unattractive to others for one reason or another--but a reason that you don't personally mind--then you can more easily attract the hot ones. It's a matter of supply and demand. For example, if in a certain culture, there is a taboo against marrying a divorced woman and these women are seen as undesirable to date or marry, then there may be plenty of hot divorced women in that culture who would be eager to date someone who doesn't care about that. The same is true if there's some physical trait that others find ugly, but that you find neutral or attractive. Naturally, you still have to have some basic confidence and so on, but it doesn't hurt to stack the odds in your favor by putting yourself in a buyer's market, so to speak.