purerogue

Thought is telling you understand, but do you really understand?

Exactly, it is not about wanting something and it is about wanting something, funny thing is that we often attract opposite of what we think we want without even noticing that we are actually making opposite to attract.

I think problem here is that you think that Enlightenment must come with some certain Personality, which is not the case, change will be there, as our personality changes constantly, separation from mind would be closer statement, but it does not mean that you do not have personality with "flaws", at that point really it does not matter, as you are not attached to it. So even though from your point of view it might look like person is attached to mind,ego, it might as well not be the case, that is why you will never know for sure, you can have person with your "perfect" traits who is attached to his personality and one with not so great who is not, if that makes any sense to you.

Are you trying to make me die?

It is indeed.

your character has no free will, you have all the free will you need, stop confusing something that you are not with who you really are.

It is not really something you must control, it is always there, I would not even say that you must hold to it, it is more of a you must not let ego control you, it is there at all states of mind, unchanging, maybe try to see that which is always there in every situation, state of mind,, not thinking would be very helpful, will be less obstacles that get in your way, give it some time, experiment.

Only thing I can tell you is that when you can experience true being, everything will come , it does not come like thunder and strike you with everything it got right away, answers will come them self. Experience of nothingness could be helpful to know your true self better I guess, to find I you are looking for to tap into being, but I do not think that there is any need for it, when I first got to know nothingness I had no clue what it is about , except the fact that it is the place where everything comes from and it was from mediation, not non dual state , or anything like that, besides non dual state is still not what you are looking for if you can no locate your true self, some people might think that non dual state is just being, but you might as well still not know who you are in all of that mess, making it in completely something else.

I was just trying to give you some logical explanation, what we are talking about here goes way beyond logic. Source is not absolute infinity , just as you imagining rock does not make rock part of you. With one I mean it is created , comes from same place.

Can you give up control without doing self-inquiry?If you can let go of control without getting drawn back into ego then there is no need for self-inquiry.

I guess it depends how you look at it , source is beyond absolute infinity, because source itself is one who creates it and is always left out of infinity, making it kind infinity + 1, besides source is only thing that is real , everything else , is just sources imagination so to say, is imagination all one, well it does come from one place, but to look at it as all one or not probably does not matter.

Why do you think that you must go somewhere, first get to point where you are awareness all the time, if you get what I mean, just being is enough, realizations will come them self and they will be completely out of context you can imagine now logically.

There is no such thing as 5 years after Enlightenment, first you reach awakening, then you start to awaken, don't believe that it is possible to go all the way in instant.

That was exactly what I meant by keeping awareness , knowing you are at every time, even trough sleep, it is problematic to communicate correct idea trough language.

I guess you are right, just wanted to clarify if I am not going wrong direction and do not get caught up in some traps.

I see, I will find out sooner, or later anyway, just wanted to ask directly if my conclusion is right on where it is going. So yes , it was question for my own path. @winterknight

Are you keeping awareness even when you sleep , to a point where you do not lose it when you go to sleep and trough sleep? @winterknight

It can be achieved trough allot of things, simply all your "agenda" will slowly dissolve , you have to start somewhere, there is to much information that makes you think stupid ideas, like you can't look for Enlightenment, as soon as you look for it you already went wrong way, although it kinda true, it happens gradually so to say, you not looking for it will be no different from anyone who is not looking for it, or tons of other information that is causing more harm and confusing people , then helping.

Agree and there is nothing really wrong with the video, there is actually something very profound and true about it , if you let go of desires, judgments, or resistance in closer term , you open doors for every possibility from personality standpoint.

Do you want to traumatize him?

I did not say that you do not need to mediate, at certain point you will not need it anymore, you will have had enough insights. Maybe the way how you do mediation is problem , try different ways, like lying down, not sitting so you are comfortable, First you have to build your core personality so you can cope with it, deal with your emotional problems,get past your emotions and be able to dissolve negativity that you create, or just be alright with whatever that comes at you. It is a long path, what works for me , will not work for you now, as I past the problems you are having, anyhow, your main focus right now should be dealing with personality issues, traumas etc, explore forum, there is all the information you need, just be ready to put in work and do not expect changes in week.

People to much relay on mediation alone, I do not even mediate anymore, real work happens in now, every moment , not just 30 min , 1 h sittings, But I digress , you can mediate for 50 years if you want.

Find out for yourself, there is no right answer , it depends on where you are at path and what problems you have.

lol