Bernard

I've noticed that when I do self inquiry, mediate, or any sort of introspection for an extended period of time it puts me in a depressive state. Reason why I have to do it periodically because it can start to effect my everyday life because of all the emotions, thoughts and fears start to bubble up. Does this happen to anyone else? How do y'all cope or deal with it? I'm sure there's a way to balance things out and say. "Ok time to go to work and stop thinking about it now". Usually I take my state with me everywhere I go.

I used to be a web administrator at a clothing retial store. I didn't survive. I left after it took a toll on me after many years My suggestion is learn as much as you can and build your own business and do what you want to do on the side. Use what you learned. We aren't the same person and in different situations, but from my experience don't let it suck the life out of you. If it's starting to effect you negatively to extremes look for a way out. My two cents.

Ok so, one thing I've noticed is that whenne I mediate and inquire, I get this feeling that I'm missing something and that something is eluding me. Its almost like there's a limit to how deep I can go. Anyone else noticed this? Does anyone else have this issue? Do you see yourself asking questions and the answer simply isn't coming to you? I usually let it go and let it come to me whenever but I wonder if there's a way to be able to reach into further depths of your mind.

I read and heard people say psychedelics can help you get over addictions. LSD helping you decide to quit drinking to be more specific. How so and in what way? Has anyone here quit anything as a result from psychedelics? I've indulged myself but it never made me want to quit smoking or drinking which is misfortune. I hope it would lol

It's just one out of many ways of conceptualizing humans and our behaivors which leads to a broader understanding. Personally, that's reason enough for me to dwell into it till it no longer serves me.

@Nahm I'm still trying to fully grasp "letting go" as well. I've noticed I've got better at it over the years. Guess in "time" it will happen where I fully grasp it. For now I'm just going with the flow. Guess its all we can do.

@Nahm Both self inquiry and meditation can make me anxious, and even depressed over time. I've noticed because my awareness and observation hightens and my demons bubble up as mentioned. So even though I may put myself in a state of now, because i been ruminating on it the feelings are still present. It's weird how that works but I've noticed that I need to be more balanced in my approach.

@Dino D Not that this is relevant to your topic but I was born in Croatia. Figured I'd share that since you mentioned it.

Atlanta, Ga. A mixture of blue, orange and green. Majority orange I would say. They been gentrifing it to hell.

@Prabhaker I think you're right. I'm still going to meditate but I'll do it in a more balanced manner. Thanks for the feedback.

I haven't watched the vids due to being in the middle of something but both my parents are red and blue. They really do make it extremely difficult to love and coexist with. I tried the hard orange intellectual approach with them to no avail. Now I just wabt to show them love because I surrendered. Like "look, there is a better way and I will show it through kindness. The sooner you realize my approach is better the better it is for you".

I get the feeling man. Sometimes my friends annoy me as well for the same reasons. I feel like I out grew some of my friends but they also are good at things I'm not. I like to focus on the value they give my life rather than their flaws. At this point I just want to appreciate them honestly. Like we all have our struggles and ways of coping. I just want to be able to spend my time with people that actually care about me though. Like create some awesome memories. I learn from them and I'm sure they learn from me. We aren't perfect, may annoy each other for whatever reason but got to harbor love and value yhe relationships. Idk. Just my two cents.

I'm searching the web for further information and here we have an entire thread lol I'm glad Leo recommended something that has a body of information on the Forum.

@Nahm Nah, I'm not taking it as argumentative. I'm here to learn also and this love being self eludes me in all honesty. I realized that I may not know how to love. (Had a screwed up childhood). This very well may be what I personally need lol If what you say its true, it's interesting that I remember the other stuff but forgot about that love feeling.

I have to watch it in segments. Two and half hours way to long lol Honestly the more I learn about it the more I'm not even sure what stage I'm on. You know how it goes from being selfish and selfless back and forth as it goes up? Which one are you mostly? For me I would say I'm more so selfish as I always strive to do better and improve so that narrows it down. Either beige, red, orange, or turquoise. Perhaps orange because red is way to barbaric and malicious people piss me off. O took the test and I fall under green mostly followed by yellow and orange with a tad bit of blue which I suspected. Not sure how much being slefish/selfless has to do with it or not. Maybe I'm over thinking. Leo also said you are what you resonate with the most in his videos you are it. Sometimes I do wonder if I'm actually red. Which is a scary though all on it's own and I do that mainly because of my fears. Anyway. Hope this provides some insight as it wasnt really a straight answer.

Well maybe someone is able to attain that state at will. I personally can't even though I had random moments. Maybe yogis and Buddhist monks can, not sure. But I doubt most people can. I think they may experience it a few times in their lives like via near death, psychedelics or even random moments and as a result came to this realization. But once your mind comes creeping back you end up forgetting alot of it which makes it really hard to recall. I think mediation allows this consciousness or whatever you want to call it, to flow through you to where you have a higher sense of intuition and creative ideas, a sense of peace and love since they come from this state, place or whatever it is. That's one thing I forgot to mention. You also experience unimaginable bliss. Like you felt no love like this. Its that agape, or unconditional love people speak of. You'll know when you're ready to trip when you ready to surrender and have a "it is what it is" attitude. You know how somethings happen in life and you're whatever about it? Yea gwt that going if you're not already. Don't try to control the trip. Let it be. The more you fight it the tougher it will get. They call it a trip for a reason. Because you will be going on a trip lol

That is only the beginning. I couldn't reach a state of higher consciousness than that on my own. I took psychedelics and they took me beyond that state that you've described. I've meditated while on LSD. At first it i only managed to get to that state you described. Once it started to kick in slowly. I grasped that this very moment is infinite as that's where mu focus led me to. The physical reality dissolved and I merged with this collective consciousness as some would call. It appeared as if It's experiencing itself. Like a fractal that constantly manifests and dematerializes. That's everythings true nature. So when someone says we are all connected, one of the same. Infinite that's what they are describing. Just be open to the possibility. You can't make sense of it or rationalize it. It's an experience.

I would have to create one for myself first if I had control over it. Can't make things materialize. Sorry. But we are everything. All that you mentioned and everything else. Science shows this to an extent. We share atoms. We have same constructs and matter. But that's looking at things from a material perspective. Objectivity, logic, and reason has its limits. The otherside of the coin is going within. Your answers will come from not thinking rather than thinking. Just drop some acid or shrooms lol you'll be surprised what you discover when your thoughts, beliefs, ideas, perceptions fade away.

It looks like a stage one civilization. Renewable energy. More peace and less violence. Not perfect and has its own set of problems but I think it would have less wars, crimes, people with depression and other psychological issues. More innovation. Kinda like the 60s and the space race but more driven out of curiosity rather than competition. Less dictatorships. More democracy. Less 3rd world countries. Note I keep saying less because I don't think Green would completely eliminate it.

@Nahm Thank you! All this is making me realize how much I've been running away from myself. I need to redirect my focus onto me rather than anything external. Why I can only do this now and then is because If I do it to much I'll spiral into depression. But it is what it is. I'm ready to just surrender to it.

@Dino D As far as infinity goes, logically speaking it makes more sense things being infinite than finite. Once you draw a line at A and say that this is the end then you create B by separation. With that being said how can things really end? Something I've noticed is that you can't come to the conclusion that nothing is real externally or with trying to rationalize it. It comes from observation from within. I've gotten glimpses of this but haven't dug deep enough to constantly be conscious of it. There where experiences where I was shocked to find out that me at my core is nothing and everything at the same time. You are what observes and is aware and everything you observe you create. It's that "you" that creates what we call reality. You're not independent from it. You are it. This is me trying to put my experiences into words which is pretty hard to describe. If I went back in time and told this to my old self I would probably call myself a loon and worry about my future lol

@Cliffardo Every time O took LSD it was for insight and spiritual purposes. I did have my share of "aha"moments but never in relation to quiting my addictions. Congrats on quiting and I'll take a look at reddit. Thanks. @JustinS I looked into it but still not exactly sure how to do it. Once I find a basic/beginner exercise that I can do for 30 mins I'll give it a shot. @pluto I had those moments while on these substances but the ego always creeps back after a while. Even now I have a glimpse of this but I can tell it's just the tip of the iceberg. @Samra I always wanted to visit a shaman and take ayahuasca. Just not likely to happen at this stage in my life unfortunately. @PsiloPutty Yea, I did notice that it will show me what it wants to show me and I don't have control over that. Still helped me in other ways and issues I wasn't even aware I was dealing with so good came out of them none the less. Thanks you for all the advice! I'll try Kriya Yoga and do some more reading and see how it goes.

Oooo... I always wanted to try doing yoga. I'll give it a shot!

I wasn't entirely sure where to post this (my first post actually) so my apologies if its in the wrong section, but I do have a qestion. What role do fears, and anxiety play and when it comes to Spiral Dynamics? In other words, do they determine your stage of consciousness? What I've noticed from personal experience is that I may want to carry out an act a certain way, but result to my first impulse and react out of fear. How does this tie into Spiral Dynamics? For example. Lets say you're in a argument with someone and end up getting triggered and react in red. You're aware that you may want to take the green approach but your own internal fears make you react more red. Can you have higher levels of consciousness but be depressed, anxious, have addictions, PTSD etc. which prevent you from living life in a way it matches your level consciousness? Not sure how else to phrase my question, but I think y'all know what I'm getting at.

I've done LSD a few times. I've had some enlightening experiences even to which I've left my body and physical existence altogether. Just never in a sense of giving me the strength to put down the cigarettes or alcohol. Hmm.. I may try micro dosing. Heard good things about it.