TheAvatarState

@LoveandPurpose I'll also highly recommend reading the Alchemist. 11/10, and it's pretty short.

@ZZZZ My sweet spot is 200-300ug. Any more and the likelihood of a bad trip or mind soup is greatly increased. That's what I'd recommend.

@LoveandPurpose Yes. Put another way, how does one become more self-confident, more extroverted, and better at developing discipline? In a healthy way, the true way, is to deconstruct your personality and practice spirituality. It sounds counter-intuitive, but it's really not if you think about it.

@LoveandPurpose What do you mean by "improve your personality"?

The life purpose course tells you to lead from the heart as well. It's all about becoming fully authentic. Why are these things disconnected? What you think are separate are in fact one and the same. If these two seem incompatible, then perhaps you should rethink your life purpose.

I have some thoughts on this, and please let me know what you think. Awareness of being aware is perhaps one step removed from being. An awareness of being aware is itself a mental construction, for you have to create a program or construct that is aware of the ever present awareness. There is only being. "Are you aware?" is more direct and accurate than "Are you aware of being aware?" The latter is more easily understood by the rational mind because of this disconnect (illusion), the former cuts through everything.

@non_nothing great topic! One of the things I don't see talked about often is that if infinite consciousness/intelligence/love has no attributes and is truly infinite, then it must also exist in infinite times. And not in a conventional sense. I mean every moment that has ever occurred or will occur exists simultaneously in the Now. The consensus reality we share, the "present" present moment is what we call reality, but all these other "times" exist with and in it as probability fields. For instance, remote viewers can sense things from the past and future. They experience it through the now, but many of these phenomena have been verified to have existed, or were verified later to actually happen. Do some research on this, it's fascinating. In the direct experience of awareness, it is possible to sense things that are "probably" to happen in the future. There's no reason for me to go into detail because you wouldn't believe me if I told you. I just want you to know that it's possible.

@Hellspeed no offense, but what the actual fuck are you on? I kind of want some, kind of don't ?

@Lynnel there's simply no way to know for sure. Mushrooms are interesting because you get a different trip and intensity every time. 4g is a great dose, and will definitely be an order of magnitude above 2.6. I would not go any higher than that until you get a lot of experience, and even then, my most amazing trips always happened in the 3.5-4g range.

@ThomasT what impact do you want to make on the world?

Isn't it obvious that your mind can use that as an exits from any situation? In the Absolute sense, yes, your statement means everything. In the relative sense, where "reality" and language reside, your statement means nothing.

Textbook pre-rational/trans-rational fallacy. You are trapped in your own mind, deluded.

@Arhattobe DUDE!! EVERYTHING IS ONE!! THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ME! NO DIFFERENCE BETWEEN YOU AND ANY HISTORICAL FIGURE, WE'VE ALL BEEN THE SAME FOR ETERNITY! THAT INCLUDES EVEN CHRIST! WHEN YOU SAY MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU'RE CELEBRATING YOUR OWN BIRTH! HOLY FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DOWN THE RABBIT HOLE BABY

@Pharion school as we know it today would not exist in a yellow society. School would not be run by the government. That was such a travesty in our own society. At a young age, the most effective ways a child learned would be determined and ranked, whether it was visual, conceptual, hands on, etc. The child would learn about all the types of learning and why he learned a certain way better. While learning from then on would be more focused on their type, it would be mandatory to let the child experience all the types of learning, just not equally so. There would be an actual giant school building where all the kids from an area would go, and social time would be encouraged. Then each class would be tailored to a specific type of leaning and subject. It would be much closer to current day college, but much more creative and fun atmosphere. There would be a focus on self-discovery and life purpose from a young age. Meditation and yoga would be mandatory "classes." "School wouldn't last the whole day like it does now. It would be more like 5-6 hours a day, with play and creativity and collaboration. There would be an emphasis on self-education as well. Very little homework. No tests with A-F rating. I know this sounds idealistic from your current perspective, but in a yellow society, this shit would happen.

@Arhattobe That was a sarcastic post. My attempt at humor.

@XYZ Great question! I love that you're trying to get to the root of things... Use that as a general rule in life, and you will go far. I'll make this very simple. If we think of laziness as a chronic illness of the mind, where procrastination is a side effect (I believe we have the same general idea of what this shit is), then laziness boils down this: it is the denial of one's true nature and potential. To be lazy is to be in denial. Really think about this, and I think you'll find this to be true. So next time you're lazy, try to become conscious of what part of yourself you are in denial about. That will be the root. You can be in denial by second-guessing your passion, and that will lead to laziness. You can be in denial about whether you really deserve what great things this will bring. You can be in denial about whether you'll even get any results. All of these are illusions. Notice that laziness stems from you trying to minimize and belittle yourself. Your ego is afraid of what you could be. "Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, but that we are powerful beyond measure." -Nelson Mandela The antidote to laziness is the surrender into one's True nature. But for many of us, we have to learn and observe what that is first.

If you don't exist, then why would you work on anything at all? Is it not just a waste of energy for you to be alive? Haha

@Ish1919 oh boi. Bouts of Nihilism are so common on this path that we've all been there. I feel you. This is the case because we've been identifying with objective meaning our whole lives, calling this object or that person meaningful, and suddenly the realization that everything is meaningless is quite a shock. Meaning is a concept created by our brains. However, everything has RELATIVE meaning, which turns out to be much more empowering and liberating than the objective sense. I hope you'll be able to see that some day. Now back to your point on free will vs. Determinism. One of the reasons you're feeling this way is because you've placed an inordinate amount of meaning on your perceived ability to choose anything you want. The ego, your meaning making machine, loves control. So it will try to make you feel like death when it's faced with the loss of this power, with the hope you'll cave in and go back to normal. To sleep. There is a war going on inside your mind. But let's take a mile-high overview of your life. With all that power to choose anything you wanted... Why are you still unhappy? Did you really make the best decisions? For your health? And be brutally honest with yourself... Perhaps the illusion of free will itself spoke in your ear, and lured you down the wrong path. Any teenager knows this; when given more freedom, they start making really stupid decisions. You see, you don't really want more freedom. You think you do, but you don't. This is very counterintuitive for the ego mind to grasp, so I urge you to contemplate for hours and hours on this stuff. What is meaning? The moment you stop fighting for control (a fruitless pursuit, there was none to begin with), the moment you surrender to life, breath, and smile, that will surely be the sweetest turning point of your life so far. Only then will you realize you're exactly where you need to be. ❤️

Look up Maslow's hierarchy of needs. Self actualization is at the very top of the pyramid. It is not the optimization of character (that's not "actual"), it is "the realization or fulfillment of one's talents and potentialities." So how can someone become their greatest version without knowing themselves at the deepest and most fundamental level (spirituality)? Do you see what I'm getting at? These two topics are not different at all, in fact, they are intimately intertwined.

@rabbitat I'm happy you're finding that inner spark! Keep nurturing it, and it'll turn into a steady flame! ? That flame is known as passion. Try to bring what I said into your direct experience. It's one thing to conceptualize it, it's quite another to BE it.

Day 7: Energy: 4 Awareness: 4 Sexual thoughts/urges: 2 Self-esteem: 4 Social confidence: 4 Basically the same day as yesterday, everything from my work schedule to what I did at home.

@Zigzag Idiot I'm sorry, but I don't know what that has to do with my journal. I'd appreciate it if comments were only made sparingly, and only constructive or on topic. Thank you.

@Anton Rogachevski Don't confuse apples with oranges here... Take 100% responsibility for your life, any less is suffering. No one forced her to do this work. At the end of the day, you can't blame a teacher for not giving you the proper guidance or not tailoring the content to your specific needs. The proper content was out there. She took the course. Not everyone is going to get this stuff, it's just a fact of life.

Yeah, I don't know what to tell you. You took enough to be at a 10, no fucking doubt. I would try to obtain it from a different source and buy a testkit. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience, but it happens. Don't be too discouraged. Also, do you have experience with other psychedelics?

While I was watching one of Leo's videos today, he said that passion is an emotional, fire-y thing. I don't know how I got down this train of thought, but I started thinking about the 4 nations from the show Avatar: The Last Airbender. I thought that if passion was a fire nation thing, then what are the qualities of the other 3 nations? Well, I soon found out that there's a lot of deep wisdom in the four elements of water, earth, fire, and air, and that they're all essential to making a well rounded self-actualizer. Let me try to explain. The first step in taking the hero's journey is feeling and creating that inner fire. Passion. In the show, the fire nation was ruthless and conquering, however, they were filled with passion and wanted to share their success with the rest of the world. Passion without balance will lead to chaos. The power in firebending comes from the breath, and one channels their chi energy through the limbs to produce fire. It's concentration and execution. What's interesting is that the main reason the fire nation rose to power was because fire is the only element to be produced within, without needing an external source. This provided them with a huge advantage in military combat, and allowed them to easily enslave other benders by taking them out of their native element. There is much to be learned from the fire nation, from their strengths to their weaknesses. All negative aspects aside, sparking that inner flame or passion is key to living a successful life, and that comes from within. Fire's opposite, water, is powerful to study and practice. Waterbender's movements are based on Tai Chi, dealing with the flow of energy and how to turn weakness into advantage. It is about redirection, or put another way that's more applicable to self-actualization, recontextualization. General Iroh, a rare, wise firebender from the show, studied waterbenders and from that he developed a technique to redirect lightning! It is such a valuable skill to turn pain and suffering on its head, to reframe it, and to realize that was exactly what you needed to make the greatest change. If you think of firebending as a masculine, penetrating energy, then waterbending is the feminine surrender to wherever life takes you. There is validity and great wisdom in both modes of life. There are many references to water being a more feminine element, from it's secondary power of healing, to waterbenders drawing their power from the moon. Earth is firm and strong; unwavering. For the self-actualizer, think of earth like your steady practices and disciplines. The work. In order to move mountains, you need that solid foundation. A mastery of earthbending is essential for getting any results in life. Without earth, you will have a weak life, for it is only on earth from which all other elements can take form. Your very essence came from the earth! Respect that. Finally, we get to Air. It is from the airbending philosophy that all the juiciness in life comes. This is spirituality. This is the core of self-actualization. I don't want to go into a lot of detail because it's just so obvious to me. If you haven't already, watch the fucking show! It's brilliant! In one of the episodes, Uncle Iroh eloquently talks about these qualities in each of the 4 nations. But most importantly, he explains that it is the fusion of all 4 elements into one person, the Avatar, that makes him so powerful. Not just physically a powerful bender, but a powerful leader and a powerful mind. Amazing stuff! ****************************** I'd also like to share another revelation I had about the show a couple months ago. This blew my mind: the colors of the 4 nations roughly match up to the color stages in spiral dynamics! I don't know if the creators of the show had this in mind, but it matches up so well it's freaky. Let's start with stage red: Fire. The fire nation is textbook red, with a little bit of orange. Matches up perfectly. They are ruthless and they seek to conquer the entire world. They have a traditional fight called the Agni Kai, where two firebenders fight to the death for honor and status. Alpha male dominant. Indoctrinates children to believe that the fire nation is the best nation, and that by conquering the 100-year war, they'll share their greatness with the rest of the world. Red-dominant individual psychology. Very self-absorbed. Low-consciousness. Next is stage blue: Water. The water tribe is textbook purple/blue with blue values. They were inspired by native American tribes. Communal. They want no part in war, only to defend their tribe. While the southern water tribe is extremely small and mostly purple, the northern water tribe is much more advanced, and thus has social structures that resemble blue. Hierarchy. Looking down on women. Women are not allowed to fight, they are only taught how to heal. No equality. Praying to the ocean and moon spirits, set traditions. Spiritual, but not really in an empowering way. Next is stage green: Earth. Now this one doesn't fit quite as well in the show, but I think this is mostly due to the damage from the war. The main earth capitol, Ba Sing Se, is a blue city that's transitioning into orange. They have the Ba Sing Se University. If you work hard, you'll be able to move up into the "upper ring" where all the rich people reside. However, the blue roots are struggling for power. There's a lower, middle, and upper ring. The government has strict control on all media output, and mention of the war is not tolerated within the city. "Here we are safe. Here, we are free." Think of North Korea in this respect. That being said, the rest of the earth nation, which is comprised of smaller free towns (we only see them enslaved by the fire nation in the show though), would definitely be more green. They are rural, communal towns. The earth nation as a whole is definitely the most progressive so far. The last stages are yellow/turquoise: These happen to be the colors that represent the air nomads. The air temples are filled with wise, old gurus. They teach about Chakras and personal development. They are a society that's very mindful of their ecological impact on the world. They live a minimalistic lifestyle. Their main goals are to understand the world and to transcend the ego. This is actually the key to becoming a great airbender. It's all about letting go of your attachments to the world. As far as I know, this is a completely unprecedented portrayal of a society in a children's show. But let me remind you that this is not just a show for kids! I watched it for the first time at age 21 (just a couple years ago), and it completely changed my life.