TheAvatarState

@cena655 Yes, you're in it. I know because I empathize with you as someone who is starting to come out of it and gain the proper perspective. You just have to know that it takes time, and that a huge change like that really make you reel back to "lick your wounds" so to speak. Believe it or not, this Dark Night is necessary, unavoidable, and giving you the strength needed to charge ahead. It's par for the course, my friend. The mark of a true spiritual path is often a complete avoidance, fall, turning away near the beginning. This is because your soul truly knows where it's going. What's at stake. But the fact you're here asking about it means that it's still calling you...

@Wisebaxter lsd is a wonderful substance with much to offer. Every trip I've had up to 300ug was positive and amazing, nearly every trip over 300ug turned into a fucking nightmare. Of course everyone is different, but I've found that's roughly the breaking point into ego-death territory for most people. You don't want to know if you actually died the night before and if you're living in some parallel reality, only to eventually give in to the fact you actually died and that you were never born. To have that REAL for you. I'm not saying this to brag (hell no) or scare you, I'm just saying that you don't want that, and there are better ways to go about this. I mean, yeah you could take 6 tabs tomorrow and most certainly die, but then take the anxiety you feel now times 100... It's too forceful, too abrupt. It's not "sweet sweet." I'm still trying to recover from and make sense of some of those acid trips and that was a year and a half ago! I'm doing really well now, but don't do what I did, it was stupid. 5-meo gives you the "death" part with clarity and no visuals. LSD in high doses gives you "death" with your worst fears manifested into visions and beings that tear you apart. At least that's the way it was for me. Proceed at your own risk I will tell you one thing, after it was all said and done it was really effective and injected a lot of humility into me.

LSD is not the substance to do it with, trust me. Yes, I've taken 700ug and literally died (I'm not joking), but, uh, I don't recommend it. 5-meo seems to be the perfect smooth enlightenment psychedelic you can take safely in your home solo. I have plans of trying it this summer. But please don't go looking for death on LSD, it's not pretty. You will literally be shattered.

Be careful what you wish for. Do you have a trip sitter?

@Wisebaxter The hilarity is that nothing exists, and yet here we are! *brain explodes*

@Wisebaxter No worries bro, you're doing great! The answers will come.

@Wisebaxter You have to realize that the phrase "you are the only thing that exists" refers to the True self which is by definition universal, God, Teotl. You can connect with that through direct experience, but that's really advanced. Of course, the paradox is that you have to give up your notion that you're the only thing that exists, in order to realize what it actually means. I think your understanding of this phrase is still egoic, like your experience, your body, etc. is the only thing that exists. In a nondual understanding, existence and nonexistence collapse and you're left with the realization that everything is you. But not the "you" you think of right now, a much much much grander you, infinity, that encompasses everything. Does this make sense? So it's almost a disservice to say "you are the only thing that exists" because it invariably leads to confusion and alienation, when the actual Truth is pointing to understanding and union.

Anyone else ever get the sense that spirituality at its essence is actually so simple that it can't even be talked about? I get this feeling that every spiritual teaching I've ever read is pointing to the same thing, and all this "fluff" is really there just to jog your mind and take you to the ultimate Truth in steps or stages. IT'S ALL SAYING THE SAME GODDAMN THING!!! I almost feel like there's nothing more to "learn" in the conventional sense, and that I need to explore trans-rational states in order to go any deeper. I can understand that if you're new to spirituality this might not resonate with you, but for those who have been studying this stuff for a while, do you understand where I'm coming from? Am I being deluded? Any input would be graciously appreciated.

@Aakash Yes, chattering finch is a bird, water-fly is an insect. But notice the play on words, the adjectives. Not just a finch, a chattering finch! Not just a fly, but a water-fly! So much more life breathed into the poem! If you have time, I recommend listening to this for more context. This is where I found out about the poem:

@Wisebaxter This point of existence vs. nonexistence... it's quite dualistic. From one perspective, yes, you're the only thing that exists, but from her perspective, she is the only thing that exists. So your perspective that she doesn't exist is only partial. So let me ask you a question: how do you know that you exist? What does "existence" even mean?

@Aakash HAHAHA the cosmic joke. You were never born. How about the joke that you've actually been here an infinite number of times it completely obliterates any seriousness or hard feelings about the current predicament, does it not? Allow me to share a wonderful poem called The Skeleton: Chattering finch and water-fly Are not merrier than I; Here among the flowers I lie Laughing everlastingly. No; I may not tell the best; Surely, friends, I might have guessed Death was but the good King's jest, It was hid so carefully.

@Aakash if you haven't seen the show Avatar the Last Airbender, then you haven't understood the full context of that scene. It is quite remarkable, ESPECIALLY coming from a show meant for children. I urge you to watch it, it's a spiritual experience in its own right, and made even more amazing considering your knowledge of personal development and enlightenment.

@lmfao well let me know when you watch. It REALLY ties into what you said earlier. Such a good film, really underappreciated.

@Aakash Dude, you have no idea... I'm basically tuned into the frequency of infinite humor, what I like to call "lel." Like, everything is infinitely hilarious, and if I allow myself to stay in this mindframe, I'll spontaneously burst into side-splitting laughter. Colors become brighter, and it's almost like a mini-awakening experience. I become very focused and present. If I let it, awareness of the present can overwhelm me to the point that I feel like I'm tripping, and I could either laugh or burst into tears at the beauty. Does any of this make any sense or am I just fucking warped

Yes, the true realization is realizing those statements don't mean anything at all to a rational mind, because it can only conceive of things in a dualistic framework. Being is all there is! That's the hilarity of it! We were never anything but teotl teotlizing!

@ajasatya @Aakash I'd say I'm currently in a rapid and violent growth phase. Many ups, many "relapses" week to week. I understand that it won't stay like this, it's just difficult to keep the big picture perspective. I'm keeping the perspective that this violent time is necessary, that I need to experience many ups and downs. Now, when I go through a "relapse" consciously, I no longer beat myself up, and that used to cause further downward spirals. There is a certain primal need (related to the harmonic oscillator that is our ego) for a relaxation into old habits and thought patterns. It's unavoidable! I think it allows us to see the old perspective from many different angles and lights... The fall is almost a sacred thing, and needs to be treated as such, with great care. That's actually when we find what we need to grow the most.

@Inliytened1 thank you so much! This really means a lot to me, and I can tell that you spoke from your heart when you wrote that. I can also tell that you have developed a deep wisdom and humility about your own enlightenment journey, and a part of that is not "kicking yourself" so to speak for not realizing it sooner. A lot of people DO have negative emotions or self-image about being older on the path, and I think that's the wrong way to look at it, reflecting a spiritual immaturity. I am in no way special for getting this stuff in my early 20's, and you are in no way diminished by being on the path later in life. We're all here together, growing together... I understood that's the place you're coming from, and that moved me. Thank you. ?

Have you seen the movie AI: Artifical Intelligence? It's a Spielberg movie from the early 2000's, and if you haven't seen it I highly recommend it! Your point brought up some fantastic imagery from the movie, and I feel like discussing it here would spoil parts of the movie... I would love to have a discussion on this further if you've seen the movie

Both! Development AND awakening.

@LoveandPurpose it's like enlightenment in the sense that when you become it, there's absolutely no doubt in your mind. No obstructions. The question itself of whether you are or aren't becomes a silly notion. When you lead from the heart, there is no question, no funny business. Pure intuition and love, unquestionable I believe this happens when you fully answer the question "who am I?" and decide to uphold that with no compromises.

@clouffy I had a dream the other night that was extremely vivid and psychedelic. I couldn't even begin to describe what it was like; words simply couldn't do it justice. Ultimately, other people can't tell you what your dream means, because it was your own dream based on your own body of experiences, and what you wanted to experience at that time. There's no "objective" meaning to be found... also, not every dream is meant to tell you something deep or profound about your inner psyche. Maybe you just experienced crazy fractals just for fun! You don't know... I'm not saying to completely discount the experience, but rather to not put too much weight or thought on it. This stuff isn't exactly rare or earth shattering.

If you were, you'd realize that what we need is a green president, so it's not much of an assumption. Green thinking it's the highest stage is completely unavoidable, it's baked in. You have to zoom way out, take a holistic perspective, and realize that's par for the course. We as a society have to move into green. What are you going to do, vote for a yellow president? Good luck.

@inFlow if you think that was crazy, wait until you start Astral projecting and time traveling

Thank you, I felt like I was. That's why it was hard to ask this. I know there's more to learn, but it feels like at this stage I'm bloated in concepts. Maybe all this info pointing at the same Truth is just my way of pointing towards BEING that Truth before I can move on to the next stage.

relapse what? What do you mean by neurotic?