SoonHei

wow that's great! good to hear. god bless you! the new path of life you have found sounds very fruitful and a lot better than the old version of you as you describe can't wait to stand at the place you're at now someday

@wavydude you've had an experience on that? another bigger episode was something i had equal to what you may see on youtube for k2/flakka - what i took was far less than that, but i was completely blackedout and just recall waking up my friends told me that for 20 mins straight i was screaming at the top of my voice and kicking violently also singing some "song" in a differerent "language" which was strange AF they were all semi-litt too. so no video was had, but when i woke, i did see the destrcction around the room i had done

This happened roughly in March 2017 - I was 27. My friends and I had been smoking weed here/there. It was quite new to us and we were all in the later stages of our lives and felt quite youthful having finally tried weed. Never tried it in school and stayed away from all that jazz back in those days. We found this "King Kush" incense - some product at a convenience store. We thought it's synthetic weed and that's what it might have been. The first time we tried it, it was crazy! Mostly because of how quickly the high came on and how strong it was in just one or two puffs from a pipe. Usually wore off within 25-40 mins. So one night, right before I entered my house after coming back from a night out with friends. I decided to take a quick puff of this stuff before I came in. It was quite late at night and my goal was to take a puff and run up straight to my room (knowing the high would be kicking in as I am running up to my room - I live with my parents) So that's what I did, quick puff and then I ran up. BTW, I should note this is a very "mild" substance, weed like effects but felt stronger, quicker and a bit psychotic tbh. anyways, the high kicked in midway as I am going up to my room and I just push myself forward and make it to the safety of my room. After about 10-20 seconds I entered in, something changed, almost instantly... My visual field was all the same, I have dim lights in my room for night but thinking back it seems maybe the light became more pronounced - anyhow. What changed was all of what I saw did not make any sense. I had take off my shirt as I usually sleep shirtless - and I was standing infront of my mirror, I noticed how/what the fuck is on my chest ( looking at my nipples ) then I saw my face, eyes, nose... i looked at each of these facets which we have and almost had to remind myself that this is what we call nose, mouth, nipples, hands, arms - i looked around my room, saw my bed, pillow, drawer, lamp and had to make a consiouses reminder thought that this is what it is called or this is what it means... the whole thing was very disorienting and freighting... i recall asking myself that well maybe this is the effect of the drug... but it had a strong sense of sanity about it. i was asking myself that how can I un-see or forget this perspective... even after my high comes down, this understanding/sight will be there. it was like, how do i return back to "normal" again. i don't remember if i contemplated too much about other aspects of life like my job, friends, education etc... but i saw us humans as "creatures" - not human... as in, i saw us for what we are... we feel very superior or advanced due to our intellect, and we are so! but in that state, i saw myself and all of humans as "creatures" or just mammals - that's the word which came to me at the time. thinking back, after learning about spirituality and all this - i wonder if this was a brief episode of dark night of the soul / meaninglessness - i saw the contents of my visual field and mind as what IT IS. not the "meaning" we give to it... as i write this, i don't think this was a glimpse or awakening as i thought of myself as a 'me' or 'ego' saying that I am a mammal/creature.. not a human.. the thought about having genitals especially was like wtf is this... we have this thing between our legs and we find a female and 'mate' it was all very biological view of life as other animals are... anyways, i told myself - used my religion as the grounding. i am a Muslim. i recited some verses from the Quran and thought about God and told myself it will be normal when i wake up. and i forced myself to sleep. i cant say i want to be in that state again but i also cant help but think if i missed a great chance at awakening - using the stuff i know now about surrendering or self-inquiry.. if done in that state may have given me deeper realizations and rather than to see my body and then give it meaning etc. i could have just see what IS and maybe see the beauty of it's isness... but yes. any input of what exactly that was. it was unlike what you would call a normal high from weed or even that stuff which i had tried b4 with different consistent effects - this was a one off scenario and looking back, may have somehow made the universe connect me to this path i am on today...

@exhale that's nice to hear! what practices if any have you been doing since stumbling upon Leo? or is it just listening to what he's been teaching and applying that at intellectual level only? any meditation?

@cetus56 hmmm yeah. havent used that stuff since that episode lol after that episode.. searched online for what happeneed... couldnt really find something to relate to.. or how to explain it.. one thing led to the other. found spirtuality meditation etc along the way somewhere and then Leo's stuff on youtube came up from somewhere and then here we are today

@cetus56 wow. thank you very much for that. this makes sense. and that's totally the case! hmmmm. likely the case... not 100% maybe because i still was 'me' but with all that new . . it was surreal. amen to that

@Highest hmmmm interesting... i always feel that high and meditation requires more effort... maybe the weed aint good nuff lol @cetus56 just how i viewed things/prespective change i recall someone saying that enlightmenet/awkening state is viewing the world without lables... like what we call a flower isnt a flower, and a chair isnt a chair.. its just labels of forms/appearances we have given. it was like that in a way... looking at objects in my room and wondering wth is all this and why we call it the things we do.. and also deep meaninglessness and hopelessness - like why is all this here.. and also the whole mammal/creature feeling away from this inteligence we think we are just thinking now as i wrote this. that what our body/form is.. is just plain/dumb form... a creature indeed. i couldnt put my "intelligent self" together in the body when i saw what the body really is.. like an animal... so i guess that's the huge difference.. i saw/felt the divine knowing/intelligence which i am and knew it cannot be this 'dumb'/plain body which i thought i was...

yes. this exactly captures that state of this is what i was trying to say here so @cetus56 what exactly was that? was that a sudden shift? but not all the way? or just a brief depression episode which was cured when the woke up the next morning... but i retained all the thoughts about it and my experience... i was able to continue on 'normally' as i did before the experience but it did shake me to the core... kept ranting about us being mammals to my family members for a month+ afterwards... not in a gaga sense but like the true knowing sense of it... it didn't go away for you for a long time?? is that what you mean? and then you had your awakening as you investigated that state?

@Highest indeed! that was the realization... things like, oh, we gotta drink water when thirsty and just how my life revovled around family/friends - i thought from their point of view, it was all so werid so is that the Glimpse of awakening? my visual field, it was all same but all so different and what was different was my perspective about everything during that time. or was this just before the Glimpse, the dark night of the soul state? just wanna know what i stumbled upon - but whatever it was, it was a very significant and unique experience

@cetus56 love it thanks bless #energyLove

@BuddhaTree ay bro. question you realized that it was a freaking mirage that was seducing you into an illusion. Now you are free from the illusion! so yay! i am free from the illusion - now there is nothing to do? there is just being now - to be. that's it? why realize this illusion if it leads to meaninglessness? wouldnt one rather stay in the illusion - better to live in the illusion as there is meaning at least

@Victor Mgazi woah. that oddly makese sense it gives understanding to the concept that "there is no meaning" what is, just is 2+2 = 5 that just is. there is no, right or wrong so even 2+2 = 22 is okay there is no meaning lol this is liberating in a sense! from a student's point of view - imagine doing a test and writing the question as the answer god bless

hey i clicked the thread you posted and have a question about what's mentioned in the OP's post... Second series of attacks involve your deepest programming and insecurities. Situations will present themselves to trigger what you cling to as a person. It will seem VERY real and frightening. This is where a guide is very important. Someone that can keep you steady and focused so that you don't give up. Different dynamics in the job area, family area, interpersonal relationships are beginning to manifest and everyone around you will try to pull you back into who they need you to be. I call such attacks HELL. They have a feeling about them that is so definitive, like a surgeon that cuts off parts of yourself. BTW, they will only cut parts of who you are not, of your own illusory construction. How to deal with such attacks. Usually during the first attacks of this type, you completely "lose it". You lose the seeing, the observer, the guide, the God and everything seems to go into a full panic mode. Body reacts in a myriad of ways - pains, aches, shaking, vomiting, trouble breathing, sharp knives, cold, hot, etc. Mind is going completely bonkers. If you can get in touch with the one that sees that and just let it happen, if you stop pushing it away, if you can fully feel the body's reactions, it will pass. so if a random or even a willed "glimpse of awakening" is had by me... it is inevitable that i have to go thru this path? i think i have read that its quite rare that one is okay right after their awakening like in eckhart tolle's case and i am sure many others too. his is where a guide is very important. Someone that can keep you steady and focused so that you don't give up. so during this time, if i am unable to do my job, or even do / live out regular life among family or whatever... i am to drop all of that, lose my job, family or w/ever and not give up on what? fully awakening and integrating? and then after that moment has occured. then i can come back to them later ?? this all gets me to wonder and hope that i win the lottery or something so i can do this spirtual search without having to worry about paying bills at home cuz i will have money if no more job and family will be okay too.. money wise.. sure money aint everything.. but its real to me/them (for now that is) but yeah, that seems to be my impediment in this search.. dont wanna bump into the dark night of the soul as it's called.. god help me for maybe trying to avoid it this way, i may call upon it even harder lol naa. i got this. mind over matter.. but then again, easier said than done.. i have heard during that state, all of ur teachings etc start to crumble and u feel like u losing ur mind . i wont know here to turn to.. other than all of you here. i am in toronto, canada.. dunno any enligthended soul here to save me soul if that point comes

i have recently stopped saying "thank you" on this forum lol and instead just say thanks

speaking as a noob on this without having had my own awakening/enlightenment i know that once you have had it. then you gotta start integrating it in your daily life and learn to live with this new perspective you have stumbled upon

@DocHoliday thank for you the clarification and love the fact that it's always "sooner or later" with enlightment so it's inevitable... but could also mean i gotta wait 23,322 lifetimes before i get mine anywho... YOLOish

Just watched a video this morning by Mooji. In it he says that some of you may have been asleep for many lifetimes before you awaken... This to me seems like that if we fail to be enlightened - then upon death, after whichever process, we reincarnate back into another infant body-mind. and secondly, let's say one does get enlightenment... then does that 'particular consciousness-mind' NOT reincarnate back and is then finally free for eternity? unless 'it' choose to re-experience itself another way? like Buddah, Osho, Mooji, Ramana etc... these 'individual mind-consciousnesses' after 'their' enlightenment, now they have finally awoken after their own many lifetimes of sleep, will remain awake? ugh... I am sure the answer to all this lies within the awakening itself. but i am sure you guys understand my thought and question coming from the current duality point of view... any shedding of light will be appreciated thanks!

hmmm so in a way then each of those different realities do exist and a part of the infinite IS experiencing that experiencing right now / simultaneously God = a single being having access to infinite experiences and viewing/knowing/observing them all simultaneously (all without time i.e. past, present, future - all possibilities actualized simultaneously)

@WelcometoReality @Faceless wow thanks ! and yes, interesting take indeed. that's the one thing i have picked up along this journey read/listen, register, let go

@DocHoliday question. you know it is said, there is only ONE being. experieincing itself in various forms so when a human takes DMT for example and encounters all those different higher dimensional beings or machine elfs , whatever else they may encounter... those entities are also part of this reality/illusion or is that another reality? and do those higher level state beings we see, have a "life" of their own which they experience... and if they do, are they awoken? is that why they exist at a very higher / jolly / happy state and their world is just totally phenomenal and ineffable for us?

@Faceless @WelcometoReality for you two, how do you see all these posts or questions here? or for my questions... like do you just directly see that here is another you, asking yourself a question and now expecting an answer from itself?

@WelcometoReality hey ! what do you mean by this. do elaborate... and to the Mind, come on brah! :@

@Faceless wow, all of that was very elegantly put... directly from the Source it would seem. So technically I wouldn’t say it’s the awakening of the mind that realizes nothing, but the silenced movement of mind that nothingness is then actualized. - hmmm, interesting take, but I see the mechanics of it now. nice to have you dwell amongst us duality-trapped souls

@WelcometoReality hmmmm interesting. thank you for that. i have heard about the diff types of awakenings, but not labeled as you have described. that's nice, thanks where/how did you have your glimpse of oneness? if you could tell me briefly or send link if you have already described it have you done any psychedelics / drugs or meditation or anything else which aided with the glimpse / awakening? also, 1 year for stabilization... but stabilization nonetheless, good for you. hopefully it wasn't too rough to integrate into your life. that's the one part i tend to focus on (yes, we shouldnt - as that issue is only in my head) but i tend to think how i will be able to cope with the knowledge of what i have seen, after i have seen it maybe i should treat that thing as "cross that bridge when i get there" but i like to be prepared... the only thing which comes to mind from the various teachings is "allow it to be" and "surrender" then again, even leo after all his experiences and work said " I wasn't even close ... i was infinetly far away " about when he 1st had enlightenment experience

lol nooo much different and deeper than food manifestation/prediction lol