charlie cho

I was always against sentiments. Never had a good time with people like that. Had a father who was too sentimental about life, being overly negative and romantically hating on the world. It was sickening. There were times when he was submissive to his "feelings" of his hatred for the world that I started a brawl at him just for the fun of it. Just a joke, partially at least. haha. not caring about their feelings, I think that's what you mean by humanity. It's quite possible. I do have this tendency to completely disregard feelings if I feel there will be utility. And especially if I'm aware that with its utility, it will benefit that person's life, I would say it or suggest that it should happen. I do sometimes be that asshole who has no concern for the other's ego or sensitivities, when I perceive that that person is invading my space of what I feel is most effective, practical, and humane. I don't consider myself to be insensitive about other's egos. I try not to touch on that, and I'm very aware of it. From Owen Cook's real social dynamics, I learnt a ton about that for that particular time. Anyway, as long as the person is not meddling in my business of effectiveness and humaneness, I am very sensitive about other's feelings. However, I used to be like that in high school. Exactly that. Just at the age of 17, I stopped that. However, people do tend to think of me as an asshole a few times. (maybe a lot of people) I never ever shy away from telling anyone that they are invading my space. (Again the space being, being effective with my work, and being humane.) And these incidents happen sometimes. And when I do get direct and angry at them for transgressing against me, I even deliberately prove how they are transgressing against me. This often has people label me as "evil" or "rude" or "insensitive". But, I just don't know how to deal with other's invading me. I'm not one of those people who want to "tell people the truth! I'll be helping them with my truth telling!" no.... I'm not that kind of person. However, I am this kind of person. "If you ever fucking invade my space. All I care about is doing well in my career and not be political or selfish about anything, but if you ever think or do something to meddle me about this, I'll fucking kill you." This does, as I see it now, kinda looks psycho. But, I sympathize anybody who thinks like this. hahaha. Maybe that's why I have no problem scaring some people away. Though, it's rare I had no friends. I always had 2-3 friends while I did exactly this. Many understood me, but expressed how they did not like this many times. Then they would say I am right, but I would piss people off. And I would answer, it's not like I do this for my personal gain. And that answer would piss them off.

@Michael569 ?

@Thought Art hmmmm.... Then I guess real life interactions leaves a fewer room for projections? Is that what you mean? Hence, texting can be quite too obscure by nature as opposed to real life interactions. I would like to point out if am I the only one that has his insecurities come out more when I text than in real life interactions? Or do others feel this too? I feel like many feel this. I've had people get angry at me in the past for not texting fast enough, and I apologized.... Hmm. I find this very weird. Is there something inherent in texts, letters that make people more insecure? Now, I find myself having been that same person. haha.

Krishnamurti says, "there is no justice where there is no compassion, love and mercy." Then, through our love, compassion, and mercy, do we have the right to kill? In the manga I posted above, the main character believes people have the right to kill for justice. In other words, he may have associated love, compassion, and mercy with punishment/or even death. I saw one of Leo's posts where he said to discount ever killing criminals from undertaking vile acts upon us might as well be unwise also. Lao Tzu said that when man holds in his responsibility to decide if another has the right for life and death, it is like a carpenter trying to be a a fisherman, saying man has no business associating with the workings of heaven. Or, maybe Lao Tzu wasn't talking about life and death, but was talking about birth and death. These are two completely different things. The former is about people who are enlightened/awakened and who are not awakened: can be interpreted as dead because he or she is not awakened to Truth. The latter is about the existential nature of the physical body. After all, God gave man the ability to kill another man. There is no sufficient evidence where God forbids us to kill another person. In the bible, Koran, and the Hindu scriptures, there are many instances where man kills another man and God has no objection to him. Sometimes, God blesses him amidst his vile act of murder because he may have killed some other person who was truly evil and malevolent. I would like to talk about whether we have the right to kill in order to fulfill our compassion, love, and mercy. Can there ever be love, mercy, and compassion in murder? I'll quote from what a character in the manga to have us think about this in a more deep way. "Whatever the reason maybe, murder is always wrong."

@Vladimir yes you are right. And the same goes with you.

@Vladimir We are not at the same pace in defining the term reality in the first place. To me reality is REALity. I don't mean the reality you, I, him, and others live in. I am talking about objective reality, not the subjective. And there is only one objective reality. And there is no inkling of thought in the objective reality.

I can already see that you are confused in the mind. You are trying to think your way into understanding reality. No. Don't do that. Ever. You will fail. You can never think your way into understanding reality or God or Truth or Existence. Maybe I should pose you this question: do you think your thoughts or with anybody's thought for that matter have anything to do with existence? What is your answer to this question? If you have come to a conclusion that thought has something to do with reality, then I will advise you to do with what you can with thought. Go on. However, if you have come to a conclusion that thought has nothing to do with thought. Why even bother thinking about what reality is when it will only exacerbate your own seeking? You see, you seek Truth, no? And if you have realized thought has nothing to do with reality, why think again? Don't, or at least, if you cannot stop yourself from thinking, do everything to divert your focus and concentration other than God or existence, because it is obvious thinking about God or Truth will only exacerbate the very purpose in itself to find it.

Two types of leaders exist. Most people seem to be divided by the two. One is "the ends justify the means" while other leaders like to say "Means are only what matters, not the ends". The former creates great economies, less poverty, effective political systems, gets shit done. The latter might not create great economies, may experience more setbacks, maybe the people may experience some poverty at times, but people will love him, loyalty will prevail a little more, there will be more harmony between the people, subordinates will not feel too much fear from the leader, people will not be intrenched in fear of angering the leader... etc. Historically, both of these qualities I have written above represented great leaders. This debate still goes on since ancient literature to modern ones. For example, a manga called "Death Note" talks about this. Two main characters fight on this notion "do good people have the right to commit evil to murderous people?" One student called Light Yagami uses a notebook stolen from the Gods of Death to kill any rapists, frauds, debauched politicians, violent people to kill them with one pen stroke of their names on a notebook. Since the birth of this Killer, debauchery and evil significantly drops in the country and villainous people (except for the student) stop themselves from committing evil for the fear of the anonymous killer. L (the antagonist) stands by this statement opposing Light Yagami, "Whatever the reason may be, murder is always wrong." As a detective, he decides to find the anonymous killer of "justice" risking his life, because he doesn't believe this killer is at all "just". Another example is from ancient literature called "The Three Kingdoms". One warlord is talented, gifted, charismatic, strategic while the other character that is the protagonist is more pious, noble, kind, not that strategic or gifted but loving towards his subordinates, sometimes loosens effective results to make people happy, but he loses in war many times (almost all the time), people love him, and he is famed for his nobleness. Many today still debate who is the better leader and the two are divided mainly by these two ideologies: the ends justify the means vs the means are what only matters. The story is somewhat fictionized but the main debate of the fight was most likely true. Currently, I do not advocate one or the other. The former creates results fast but will be cruel and unjust sometimes. The latter will create results very slow and be even hazardous for its ineffectiveness sometimes, but it won't be so cruel or unjust most of the time. I don't agree when people hate on the quote "the ends justifies the means" because this holds true for many instances.

Yes. I don't think you are wrong. Contemplate what love is. Act on it, truly. That seems to be the answer. As OSHO likes to put it, don't consider who are and who are not your real friends. Consider whether you are a friend to them. Be loving, rather than judging whether others are loving to you.

Most spiritual egoes have this in common. They have a dichotomy inside themselves of these lists. 1. good vs evil 2. wise vs fool 3. Real vs unreal 4. Honest vs liar 5. Authentic vs hypocrite Any sort of divisive understanding of the world may lead to danger. Any sort of division is ego

@johnlocke18 you seem like a decent guy

@Javfly33 I had this problem at first. Not that I did 100. No. I probably did 14 times in the day. probably over 100 at night clubs. David Deangelo talked about this and I realized I haven't implemented this basic fact that it a relationship starts with eye contact. Eye contact, talking with each other, hand to arms, hand to hand, hand to waist, hugging .... sequentially it goes. I just approached these women without having direct eye contact at first and many of them were surprised. You wanna make her feel calm. With direct eye contact, show that you are not scared to talk to anyone and with your eyes show as if you are about to talk to her any second. I think she'll be more receptive after seeing your eyes. As long as you ain't trying to hurt anybody, she'll see that you aren't a psycho and won't be too scared when you approach 'em. If you directly approach without her looking at your eyes, she'll be fidgety, especially when it is on the streets, cafes, trainstations... etc At least, this is what I imagine I'll do in your situation. Recent outburst in Covid in Korea, I've kinda stopped approaching, and with the masks I stopped. But if they weren't obstacles, I would do as I have listed above.

@Leo Gura how the hell did you do 100 approaches in the day Lol. At night, I understand, but the day? haha

@KennedyCarter My friend used to live in the same city, now he lives in America. I live in Asia. It's online. What books are you interested in. Right now, we are starting off easy. Reading Cal Newport's So good they can't ignore you, since we are both interested in getting a great business idea for ourselves.

When it comes to reading books, I wonder if there could be value in discussing what we have read with each other on the same subject. Especially when it comes to books that are quite difficult. But not only with difficult books, I like conversing on ideas with people who have the same interests and want success in that area. I formed a book club with a few people just to experiment how it is because to have acquired knowledge and not share our insights seem to be a waste. What do you think

@Knowledge Hoarder Course it is with no doubt. Are you interested in joining? It will be 30% self help. other 70% can be anything from philosophy, business, management, ... etc.

@Marcel haha. I'm an NTJ type. My friend in the group is an NFP type. Both of us are extroverts. I think it's good to have both perspectives .

As the title says.... I have understood why other emotions and thoughts may be destructive to our world. Although my intuition tells me guilt and shame has no value in my life, I am yet to not grasp why guilt and shame will not help us act on unloving, unjust, unaware acts. I really do. It's like my intuition and my emotions are at war right now. Have any of you completely resolved this issue like I have with others, other than guilt? Perhaps, if I would give my two cents on the subject, guilt is created by our selfish desires. If we had no desire or attachments, there would be no guilt. Why? We may have a dream, a desire, a want, an attachment to the ideal 'good' we have in our minds. We all have that 'good' ideal. And if we have not achieved to that good ideal, we criticize ourselves. And that criticism is guilt. It is a specific form of criticism but it is criticism nonetheless. As for not succeeding in being as respected as we want, we shame ourselves. Guilt, maybe, is created by our desire to be "good". In reality there is no "good". Now as I see it, if there is a person who really does not have that false desire or an ideal to be "good", perhaps he or she may not have guilt at all. Maybe the answer to discard any guilt is to discard any desire to be "good".

Krishnamurti gives us what true learning is. The essence of learning. Yes, memory is part of it but does not take the largest priority.

Rather than descriptions written by modern writers. It's good to read books that were written by ancient philosophers, politicians, and writers. It's as if you are talking to these people one on one, and you have direct access to their thoughts about the world they lived in in their historical environment. It also gives more authority to your understanding of the times. There is not much authority in reading someone who has never lived in that era, even if that person is full of expertise. First, read from people of the past Second, read from modern historians.

@Javfly33 thanks for the entertainment. Your story really made my day. Well, I can somewhat sympathize with you. There are times we can get turned on by hating a woman. Like when you really really hate a woman so much you somehow want to destroy her. It's funny. I think it's natural.

@gettoefl that's probably the wise choice. All in all, I do need to learn how to be detached from whatever it is I'm doing. In this case, it would be social media and texting. I have been indeed letting them get into me psychologically. Wasn't aware of this before Leo and you pointed it out

I speak Chinese, Korean, and English. Korean and English I'm very very good at. Chinese, below average. But had only started a year and a half ago. So I think I progressed faster than anybody. I think i know what it means to master a language, because in both America and Korea, they both consider me their natives. 1. persistence 2. use a language exchange app called "hello talk" (absolutely fundamental in your learning and must not be underused. Must be overused. This is a must, I tell you.) 3. Ask any natives of that language and show them your language teachers. Do they say he or she teaches well? If yes, pick that person, but also consider how well he teaches you. 4. Listen to audio programs any time you can. 5. Movies and shows are a must watch. 6. Be ingrained with their culture. Must even defer to that culture. As you know, the key to understanding is awareness. And there is no awareness when there is no love. There is no love when there is not some kind of surrender, some kind of deference. This is a scientifically proven fact, where people who are distant to the culture and try to not assimilate to their food, religion, rituals of that country has almost undoubtedly a hard time learning anything of that language. You must defer to that culture like its a master. Read their ancient books in your own native language if necessary. Take interest in their major historical figures. Take interest into their religion and even go to their temples. It's a beautiful thing to understand other cultures and your mind aches sometimes which is good. It means you brain chemistry is changing. It's growth. But most importantly, it's about learning the language no? And without this, there is no understanding of the language, because language is deeply imbedded into the culture. It's the two sides of the same coin. 7. Ideally every day 30 minutes study of the language. At least 2 days a week 30 minutes study of the language. A must, talk with a native in that language at least twice a week. At least. Use the language exchange app. So many foreigners are willing to learn English more than English speakers trying to learn a foreign language. Use that. 8. Have fun. And learn the language you want to learn. Usually, it will be a culture that you very like. Without having fun, it will not be imprinted in the mind. It's a fact. 9. Watch the same movie you love again and again. Later on, don't even watch the subtitles. And you'll remember the phrases spoken and you'll find yourself imitating some actors. Pronunciation will greatly enhance with that and with you speaking with the native. You can show the natives the phrases you've learnt in movies and play it out to them. They will love it and laugh. They will try to teach you more, because they see that you are passionate about their culture. Show a heart to them, then they will give you much more value.

what do you mean by relationships then don't make any friends. It's a good experience. I personally never felt the need to make friends. They just come to me. But having no friends feels comforting and freeing sometimes. And this is coming from an outgoing person myself

@7thLetter this is how I see Leo ... sometimes. Despite that he's a good man. But even though Sherlock is not always right, it's unwise not to listen to him.