charlie cho

@jimwell Korea is the same. But.... Adding to this... Korea has ageism. This one is by far the worst. If only South Korea understood how idolizing elders over youngsters brings so much ineffectiveness. People on other countries have no idea how this idolization is drastically far worse than even China and Japan. If Korea was able to discard this aspect, I think we could soar much more than we are capable of right now. I even think Korea could dominate the economy of other countries just how Japan did in the 90s 80s. (you could see how much I'm passionate about this subject in my culture) This "Samurai" aspect of Japan serves one of the things that I respect most. It's the "may the best man win" is what intrigues me and makes me respect Japan. Korea is more about status and appearance. Confucianism had impacted this a lot. Whereas Japan has more of a Taoist or Buddhist ideal in their culture, in which status and appearance may not be so important as confucius ideals. Many say religion has no impact on culture and our lives. Bullshit. Christianity had impacted western culture to its maximum. Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism on Asia, and this is how we live such different lives on different sides of the Earth. How do you see Korea? I'm curious

Just.... I heard some people pursue one woman like 6 months. Some may live in that friendzone hell. Some may have been unsuccessfully flirting at her for 6- 16 months. I see that this do exists. This question came upon my mind after watching Jordan Belfort's videos on persuasion. I know it's not wise to accompany sales training with dating, but his quote sparked my curiosity. He says that persuasion starts when the other person says no. People think that when we have made a presentation and the percipient says no, that is nearly coming to an end to their persuasion sequence. No, Jordan Belfort says. He says that part is only 1/10 of the whole sequence. Wow, I never knew this. what do you think It was funny about Jordan Belfort. He was actually disrespecting some clients who would buy right away without saying no at first. I kinda feel the same way with anyone who I'm trying to persuade. So I ask you this question.

I would like to add, part of learning is about "not" being ourselves because we need to change.

@Karmadhi you seem emotional. Get level headed before thinking clearly and taking real decisions

@Leo Gura And gives great biz advice at that.

I've heard from Leo he loved Eben Pagan's, Brendon Burchard's, and Dan Kennedy's products. I'm taking all of them except for Dan Kennedy's. Eben Pagan is great. Brendon Burchard is great. But if I have to be honest, I was surprised Leo picked Brendon Burchard. Since 2014, I was immediately put off by Brendon Burchard's mannerisms, smile, and eyes. Disclaimer: I do not want to discredit anyone nor even hurt anyone's feelings: I'm just talking about how I feel, that is all. He has that smile where he looks really sad inside, but he is forcing a smile. He has those eyes, where he is sad, but he just puts up a face to look happy. I don't think it's to get approval though. It's something else. It's like trying to hide something. It's those wise eyes... I remember having those eyes. I wasn't in a good state. By the way, I know people say to separate the content from the teacher. True. The responsibility lies on the student, and if he is improving despite the teacher

I'll be totally honest here. Reading Nietzsche myself, I would be surprised if Nietzsche would be interested in taking in the debate between post modernists leftists and the right wing. He may mention some absurdities left wing politics, but I don't think he'll be enamored by the arguments Jordan Petersons of the world would make. He's too intelligent for that.

If the insight and vision is delusional, then it wouldnt have been an insight or vision at all. I know that it is an insight.... when you need to memorize the insight, it shows you havent had any insight at all. True insights dont require you to memorize.

@Mosess dude, stop it with that game of logic

@diamondpenguin It was a joke, you take it too seriously

@Tudo noted, I won't chase girls unless she really wants me.

If you read David R. Hawkin's description of his enlightenment in his preface in his book Power vs Force, I've got exactly that. Basically, all spiritual masters hate it when they are forced to describe their enlightenment of their true self, and I understand why that happens. Because as soon as you "explain" nature, as soon as you put "words" or "phrases" or even "description" of nature, it actually creates a negative effect not only the the explainer but also to the recipient. However, I believe it's all about what kind of mindset one has in explaining his enlightenment description to the other. For me.... I'll just explain it simply. It was not accomplished by me. The universe did it. When I say universe, I mean consciousness. That consciousness isn't just consciousness though. Lying behind it there is an energy. Consciousness is just an awareness. Awareness and consciousness is just the light. The energy that lies behind it is the grounding yin (阴) energy, while the light/consciousness/awareness is the yang (阳) energy. To explain it pictorially, imagine throwing water on a car window. There is a window covered with numerous droplets of bubbles of water. The window is the energy, while the water bubbles on the window is the light/awareness/consciousness that sees everything. That car window covered in droplets is the true self, presence, buddha, presence, whichever you'd like to call it. This is a gross explanation of God, though. It's merely pictorial. It doesn't explain anything about the quality of its state. But I'll go into it further about how it looks like. Why is it called the universe? Because this energy and light exists in everything, every animal, in us, our hands, our intestines, in a flower, in Hitler, in the stars, in the sun, in the whole galaxy, infinite. The light exists in the your flower, and if you are sensitive to this energy and light, (true self, buddha, God) you will see this light and energy in that flower. It exists in the person you hate the most too. In fact, if you hate them too much, this energy and light will cease to be shown in him. You realize your body doesn't exist, only that energy and light is composed of your body. That energy and light is love. It is empty, yet filled. What is it filled with? Energy and light. It's empty. It's light breeze. It's not forceful. It's powerful, but not static. It's powerful like a flower (as osho liked to say). It's powerful like the waves of the ocean. But it's not powerful like a rock. Anyway, I hope I've given you some insight into it. I have to preface this that I am in no way a loving individual. I am flawed very much. And this enlightenment that has been given to me to this day was from none of my efforts. It was totally by the grace of the world, not by me. For some reason, the world wanted to reveal itself to me. However, I am yet to grow much more. I am yet to learn from the universe much more. I'm still far away from the end.

@Leo Gura I see. I'm guessing you are not talking about how long a man have known the woman, but the time they have spent together, in which in this case it would be 5-30 minutes they both spent time together - real time.

@Chew211 sure i understand what you mean

Literally. With exercise, with even just 20 min in the morning, since Eben Pagan taught me this. And with rejuvenation I started to go to saunas at least once a week. Damn it. Guys, this is beautiful saunas. Go to a sauna. It will be probably 10 bucks but it will be worth it. Get a tumbler and put a lot of ice in it. While in the 180 f or 200 f sauna, drink regularly to hydrate (put some electrolytes, salts if you can in your drink) and you will cool down while you are sweating and easing down muscle tension in your body. Muscle tension in the body, stress relieved through sweating, sleep improvement by at least 20% (at least for me), blood circulation improvement (I can feel it), sweating has probably detoxed a lot for my body and made me insides clean at least a little bit, meditation in the sauna/contemplating about my life through the struggle of heat, writing any great ideas that come through the heat, taking ice baths cold baths cold saunas after the heat will boost my immune system. Sauna is underrated. Studies have shown saunas improve mortality rate 20% for people who use 20 min every 2 times a week. 40% for people using it 5 times a week. These studies were done by recipients at around age 50 years old. I write this not because of the study though. I write this because I could feel my body boosting, rejuvenating. The best part of it is... doing the sauna, going out and listening to music exhausted by sweating profusely and sleeping or watching some entertaining educational videos while sleeping. Please consider doing saunas if you have problems with muscle tension sleeping immune system blood circulation meditation rejuvenation I have found at least 15-20% increase in all of these for me personally. I don't have any problems with what I listed above but maybe only rejuvenation because I've mainly been doing saunas because a productivity course from Eben Pagan told me to rejuvenate well. Anyways, not even having any specific problems with the lists, I still increased its productivity. Then it says a lot for people who have problems with them, don't you think?

@Bando awesome motivational very. I think when you have that delusional confidence.... women most women will frown and even scowl and mock at you, but if you are congruent, they will feel unconsciously drawn to you.

@Onecirrus both are two sides of the same coin. Coin being.... insecurity

@hyruga wow

I go to play billiards every day. Take lessons twice a week. The hard thing is I wanna talk with women that are there. They are often with their friends, and nobody talk with other groups... at least in my eyes. But for fuck's sake they are all wearing masks. It makes it harder to approach them. All I can do is talk to the waiter. My patience is wearing thin with this virus! Do I need to make double effort?

@Leo Gura Spoke right through my soul. right. location location location. whatever it takes. money, making friends, gotta get that right. I've stopped going to bars and clubs. I wanted to meet other women, but it is hard to make this transition easily......gonna make it happen holding on to that advice

With taking control of the situation with groups of people. This applies to both how much control you have with yourself and others. This sounds extremely corny but it's true. This is how you lead a social interaction effectively. If you don't have this, you will be the reactant, not the product. With control several people have different perspectives. More sensory types will think of control as political power over others. More intuitive people will think of influence, persuasion, and how much in the flow they are with the situation. Both are correct in my opinion. You say you have problems dealing with groups. I am advising specifically for this. I'm not a pick up artist by any nature. But I do consider myself to be well ingrained with taking control of groups and people. You need both people's respect and your own inner flow. You may have high status, (or perceived to have high status among your peers) but if you are seen without having any control of your state and self, people will immediately distrust you or conspire against you. You may have flow, easy going nature, non political, fun, natural, but if you have no perceived political status, maybe good natured people will not do anything with you, but certainly the more vile, calculating folks will take that advantage. So both are important, being with the flow with your surroundings and not staying in the way, but at the same time knowing how to command respect so petty people won't bother you with being in the flow. After all, what is life without being in the flow? Being natural is totally underrated. People don't understand how much being respectful, natural, and easy going can get you high amounts of respect. To be with the flow action steps: meditation, contemplation, loving, understanding what love is, being good To know how power dynamics work: study body language, read Machiavelli, read Confucius's Analects, read 48 laws of power, study frauds, study psycho political figures. Then again, I am in no way an expert in any of this. Currently, I don't hang around friends or people very much as I used to. It's been a long time that this has happened haha. But this is what I know about the subject you asked for: dealing with groups of people well.

@Gianna yeah, that's a perspective I haven't thought of! I remember being like that when I was a kid. And adults don't feel particularly offended when the children are persistent in their pitches. I think that is the most healthy way to be persistent with a person. We must be persistent with the percipient with respect and naturalness like children.

@flowboy I see. You are right. I do have a lot of shadow work to do. Thanks for pointing it out for me. Gave me insights about myself. If you would allow me to defend myself somewhat, I didn't ever consider myself to have 100% cured from my psychological pain associating with my father. And this issue has got to be more than just anger. The issue is beyond anger at this point. Also, with anger issues........ "not being able to speak up against my dad yet", that is a big part of my anger issue. But it wasn't just my dad. I did this with many authority figures in my life. I would say, teachers had just the same amount of the effect of me not being able to speak up. 30% my father, 80% teachers and other authority figures of my life. This particular theme with authority is quite a problem for me. I have a hard time dealing with authority. I get angry at authority figures. I had so many fights with teachers that it's funny. Even a pastor in a school tried to punch me. And after he did that, I made fun of him all over class that he has no business with Jesus after doing this. Authority in itself is never a problem with me. I know the need the world has for a good leader. But when I see a leader abusing his power, I get so fed up and rage. When they get political I try to destroy them. this is a big problem. I never wish to ever be this, or even appear like this. As Machiavelli says, it's the best to be both feared and loved, but the worst is to be hated. If one is to choose love or fear, machiavelli chooses fear. I agree to this to some extent. But I don't think a leader will reach his utmost potential unless he knows how to be loved. If he is only feared, there is no ultimate growth. I want to be loved. That said, I've read from an ancient Chinese Legalist political philosopher talk about exactly that. That thing has been the very thing that I was trying to avoid. The writer of the book was writing to a prince, who would later be the first emperor to have ever united China, Qin Dynasty's Qin Shi Huang, to be careful of being too fearful to his subordinates, of showing too much intention of wanting the truth, because this tension where the prince lets everyone know never to invade his space of wanting to achieve his goal will bring about tension within the minister's minds. Because the prince is so focused on his goal, he doesn't realize people will either flatter him by appeasing and praising his goals, or conspire against him so as to not anger the prince. Therefore, never to show defensiveness with your goals. We can interpret this as him saying "just hide your intentions" but I would like to interpret this as saying "look at the forest, not the tree." When one is goal oriented, he will be too shallow and narrow. Tunnel vision will obscure one's path to right living, in my opinion. You have made me realize that maybe I've been causing tension through my display of devotion to my goal, or my obsessiveness with my goals. This cannot be healthy. Thanks for pointing this out. I will enjoy contemplating on what you said. ha........ I really do force people to do things..... I feel kinda depressed. I do kinda treat people like .... Ive recently gained an insight about this which only depresses me more. If one treats others as powerless people, powerful people will only avoid him and powerless people will readily accept ones treatment. One may be powerful himself, but he will be living in a country of migets. No? And its almost a rule that powerless scoundrels love to hang out with each other. Nobody wants to be powerless scoundrels. I want to associate with respectful elites.... and if i ever be unreasonable or tension provoking, i cant see myself ever achieving this...... i got to change it

Even the people who seemed to defer to me in reality, people who would sometimes want my approval outside, when talking in text, they suddenly pretend to not see my texts, not answer on purpose, or they are genuinely not interested Whatever it is, texts and online communication leaves more room for deception, and it's hard for me to assess what the person is thinking. It would be a lie that a person will not pretend to be busy or pretend to treat me as insignificant through texts but at the same time, I feel I read into these things too much myself. I found myself having no problems dealing with people in the social realm outside of texting or online social media. I usually never did social media until the age of 21 years old and would just text. I was one of those people where you shouldn't even text because I would never see them. I would advise people to call me instead in advance because that is much simpler. Now, I saw some importance in texting and social media so I use it both for making more friendship staying connected and dating. But the social dynamics are so weird in texting and social media that my head aches. It just looks so different from the real world and it is! I already had problems with 3 friends over this, and one girl I've been talking to in the last, in which I would never had problems if I had never used social media in the first place I'm sure. How do you deal with the social dynamics within online communication and texting and social media?

@flowboy funny. My father was sentimental as a defeatist. Hmmm..... He wasnt positive vibes sentimental.... defeatists are just the same. They are romantic and childish. Shadow work..... i see I did become sadistic and forced him to hit me, so that i could gain the opportunity to beat him up, which i did. With all the times in my childhood i had to be political with him and pretend to submit to him just not not provoke him to beat me up. (Where it almost happened many times, but i was lucky enough to avoid it). Beating him up in reverse helped me integrate my shadow side. Whether people believe it or not it doesnt matter. Psychologically, when i took revenge on him and beat his face to a pulp, (he was violent to me, i was smart enough to get away from it) something in me took pity on him afterwards and did not feel the need to hurt him anymore. Really. After i beat him badly. My mother said he was scarred in the face for 3 months until it healed. But he had it coming to him. He hit me first. I only spoke the truth to him that he was a violent person against his subordinates and youngsters working for him everywhere. Then he proceeded to hit my face. It gave me the right to beat him, which i did. Have you ever tried revenge? Not against other people, but to the person who caused it in you. I am of the opinion that to take the anger out on others who have never caused it in oneself ... That is the most irresponsible thing a person can do. The least a man can do is take the anger out on the person who has given it to him. The perfect man wont do both, but im a normal man, not a saint. I apologize if this post was too blunt, but because you talked about shadow work, i just wanted to profess how this particular way helped me integrate my shadow, however so it appears cruel. But it really did help me psychologically get over with wanting to hurt him and hurt others for causing such anger in me. Beating him really cured me from this anger. Many people shy away from revenge because of fear. Being vengeful is not virtue, for sure. But avoiding it just to feel selfrighteous is the most repulsive, if one is to investigate into this matter further.