@electroBeam A natural part of the spiritual purification process. Keep applying mindfulness to your ups and downs. Notice their impermanence. You're clearly still clinging to moods and states. That needs to be transcended eventually.
Instead of chasing bliss, pursue reality -- that which is actual.
Stay the course. You're doing fine. The ego will create mood swings to buck you off like a cowboy at a rodeo.

This is why studying history is so important. You gotta keep things in historical context.
Go read about how the Mongol hordes butchered up to 1 million people in a single city, then you'll see Vegas and even Hiroshima in another light.
The viciousness of humanity used to be a lot worse. The progress isn't fast enough for our liking, but it's still rather fast. In 2000 years we've come a long way.
In classic antiquity, if a Greco-Roman city was sacked, all the men were killed and all the children and women were sold into slavery. It was standard operating procedure and everyone in the city knew the stakes.
30-40% of the entire population in Italy were slaves in the 1st century BC.
In ancient Rome, punishment for a woman's adultery was that the husband gets to kill his wife with his own hands.
Saudi Arabia just this week gave women the right to drive.
Slow, but progress.

That's just the natural function of homeostasis. After ups come downs.
The key is to see beyond states, moods, and emotions, at what is BEING.
Be careful with chasing positive states. All states start and end. They are not the Truth.

The authentic self is just being closer and closer to no-self.
The more ego you purge, the more authentic you'll feel.
There's no conflict here at all.
No ego = full flowering of one's innate personality without cultural conditioning and other learned nonsense.
There is no self, but there is a personality.

@Elephant
Only get it from a quality source that has plenty of good reviews Then test it with Erlich Then consume a small test-dose (like 1/4th of a tab) Then trip for real

@phoenix666 Because it will literally kill you!
This ain't no joke! This isn't some cute Ekhart Tolle teaching on Oprah. Your entire existence is at stake here!!!
You are like a shark, which can only live so long as it's moving forward.
The trick is to realize that you're better off dead. And then actually make it happen.
What comes natural to you is self-survival. Which is why you're here in the first place.
When you exist as a lie, the truth (the present moment) is your greatest enemy, because it means your death. You have to realize this. You have no material substance of which you are made. You exist as a mental fabrication, an optical illusion. So your only way of surviving is to not look at this illusion closely.
Which, BTW, is why you keeping stalling to do self-inquiry. You look for less direct methods, because you REALLY don't want a direct method to your death. You want to play spiritual games instead. You don't actually want enlightenment! You just want the IDEA of enlightenment, but not the real thing. No ego does, because the point of ego is to be a wall from enlightenment.

Bro, that was exactly me. I was a super-logical IT-like guy (I still am for the most part). But pickup will correct that in you. That's the whole point!
With practice, you will learn to let loose, have more fun, be more jokey, more emotional, more irrational, more like a girl.
As Adam Lyon's said it best: "All pickup does is make you more into a girl."
And you won't lose your rationality either. You will be able to flip it on and off like faucet. Rational here, irrational there, as the situation demands.

@Source_Mystic If you take mushrooms today, and then again tomorrow, tomorrow's trip will be severely reduced due to a built up tolerance. It takes 10 days for the tolerance to gradually return to zero.
Which means you shouldn't trip more than once a week on them.

This is just not true.
Perception is filtered by your state of consciousness and level of ego development.
Level of ego development, level of moral development, state of consciousness, and wisdom.
IQ is not a proper measure of intelligence. You do not understand what intelligence really is. True intelligence is not IQ, nor anything close to IQ.
Ironically, IQ is a very unintelligent way of conceiving of an measuring intelligence.
True intelligence is one's ability to grasp larger and wider perspectives holistically while being fully aware that a perspective is just a perspective and never the truth. True intelligence is trans-rational, trans-linguistic, and unquantifiable.
Argument has nothing to do with truth or understanding.
I am not here to make arguments. I am here to guide people towards evolving their understanding of themselves and the world.
Saying "you're stage Orange" is precisely the relevant issue here. Making arguments is a distraction. You cannot understand the points being made because your cognition is hijacked by the stage of development you're at. Stage Orange wants arguments for everything without realizing that arguments are beside the point. You need to recognize the limits of the Orange worldview rather than defending it. No argument will move you up out of Orange. Rather to move beyond Orange you must realize that arguments and logic are incomplete and limited. There are much better ways of understanding reality than logic or math or science. And this cannot be understood through argument or formal proof. Ego co-opts all arguments and proofs to maintain its worldview.

Is it safe physically for 30 days every day?
What was your daily dose?

Devil is a tricky word. It can definitely be misunderstood by newbies. Must be careful with it.
But it's also a fun word, it's provocative -- which can be good as times -- and once you understand what a devil actually is (by watching my What Is The Devil video) then it becomes a very powerful concept for making sense of the world.
It's important for newbies reach a point in their development where they realize, "Holy shit! I really am a devil, aren't I?" That takes maturity and honesty to admit. People who are in denial that they are devils are the biggest devils. Admitting you're a devil is already to have solved half your problems. This is the chief reason why I like to call people devils. It forces them to confront the fact that the devil is not an external force but an internal one. The ego loves to see itself as a hero and an angel. So telling an ego that it's the devil is very shocking and destabilizing to it. It's like poking a hibernating bear in the eye with a pointy stick.
Of course an even deeper understanding comes when you realize that all devilry is actually love.

@oldman Overall you're doing fine. This can be quite typical. It just sounds like the ego isn't fully ready to surrender yet.
Fairly normal. Remember, the ego is wrapped up with the body. It's a tangled mess. If the ego is not ready to surrender then anxiety and heart rate will increase as it tries to fight off the ego-death.
My first few trips I had a lot of fear and basically even a panic attack. But after many trips and ego deaths there is almost no fear now when tripping and heart rate hardly changes. It has become a smooth transition from duality & ego into nonduality & no ego.
I don't have that, but seems reasonable that that could happen. Your body probably has lots of emotional baggage stored in it from over the decades. It's good to let loose and shake/act that baggage out on psychedelics. That's a big part of the healing work. Sometimes the body has a lot of pent up energy which it wants to release or act out. Don't hold it back. Act it out without harming yourself or another.
It should because all fear is illusory in the end. Your probably underestimate how much practice is required. So keep practicing.
I'd recommend trying some other psychedelics like mushrooms or LSD. They can help you to deal with various baggage which will then make you pure enough for 5-MeO-DMT. You cannot go into full God-consciousness without being sufficiently pure and free of psychological baggage.
A breakthrough can release a lot of pent up energy. The body can shake, move, vibrate, etc.
Rather than going straight for a breakthrough I'd spend more time exploring the psychedelic space on mushrooms and LSD. Get comfortable in the psychedelic space. Have some pleasant trips. Contemplate consciousness. Move around and stuff. Then try to go for a 5-MeO breakthrough.
I think you might be trying to go too quickly to the end. There is a lot to be gained from psychedelics even without a breakthrough. Trust that the breakthrough will come when you're ready for it. Dosage is not the most important thing, your level of purity and intent and tripping experience is more important.
Basically, your first 10-20 trips are just like kindergarten. The key to success with psychedelics is patience and consistency. With practice the results will snowball into something amazing.

People who will the lottery do not experience any real change in themsleves as a result of the win. They don't grow. The money only exacerbates all their egoic tendecies and so they are no happier for it.
It's just a lucky event no different than finding a penny on the sidewalk. It won't solve anything.

Psychedelics are good for busting you out of a rut. They can show you a life beyond struggle. Which then becomes something worth growing towards.
I don't understand why 4 years of work hasn't improved your life. Why is the struggle so bad?
Remember, this whole journey of self growth is supposed to be enjoyable. Don't do it because someone said you have to do it. Do it because it's what you're interested in naturally. What else are you gonna do?
It might also be a good idea to take a break from personal development for a while. Come back to it later. Go enjoy life a bit. Follow what you're naturally passionate about, not some lofty ideal.

No. About 10 minutes is sufficient. After about 10 mins the substance will be fully absorbed and you are free to move around. I usually lay prone for the first 10 minutes and then sit up as the trip starts to really kick in.
I recommend sitting upright during the trip so you are not disoriented. With eyes open.

For fuck's sake no! That is God!
The solution you're looking for is LOVE! Practice being more loving towards yourself and others.
Replace guilt with love. Love is God! Not ego.
You are being egotistical when you judge yourself so harshly. Treat yourself with kindness.
Doubt is good at the beginning of this journey. But at some point you gotta drop doubt and replace it with absolute faith in Love.

@Farnaby Yup
If you probe deeper into what that luminosity actually is, you'll discover it's pure Emptiness, Nothingness, or Void. That is the Groundless Ground or Buddhamind. Your Original Face.
Mushrooms make you very aware of this Void. Basically all psychedelics do.
Technically it's not a sensation. It is Truth or Pure Consciousness. You gotta probe deeper into it next time you trip. Contemplate: What is this luminosity? while you trip. You will eventually realize that it's totally empty and indistinct. This is pure existence devoid of form. This is the Absolute Formless, the Godhead.
BTW, this luminosity is present right now in your direct experience! The Now IS pure formless luminosity!
So you don't even need to be tripping on mushrooms to access it. It's always here and NOW. Mushrooms just make it easier to notice.

I would not trust Jung as a source of deep authority about matters of awakening because I do not consider him to be deeply enlightened, regardless of his other valid insights and wisdom.
The "ego" is a bit tricky and clumsy here. We have to be careful how we define that term because it can refer to various things depending on who's using it.
From my experiences, the sense of human sense is a total illusion. The most enlightened people should have difficultly even distinguishing themselves from another human or animal because their consciousness is so universal. At my highest levels of consciousness I could not even understand how I ever thought I was born as a human. It just didn't make sense because it was so patently false & imaginary. And this was definitely not a pathological state. This is the most beautiful and profound thing ever.
What happens at the highest levels of nondual consciousness is that the ego collapses and you become the entire Universe. Every movement of the Universe is your movement and Will. Every molecule in your hand is materialized into being by your Will (God's Will). For example, I once picked up a stray black hair from an ex-girlfriend on my carpet and I was fully conscious of how I designed that hair using my Infinite Intelligence, and how I designed my ex-girlfriend. But this cannot be communicated in any linear fashion whatsoever. The only one who can know these things is God. You must be God to understand it. A human cannot understand it.
I think becoming God cannot be a disease if you do it properly. There can probably be many pathologies along the way as the ego-mind refuses to fully surrender and integrate.
Probably the biggest danger at this point is that you can become so conscious that you just leave the body and merge into total undifferentiated Infinity. Maha-Samadhi. But I think this would be a conscious choice, so you newbies don't worry about it.

I spend most of my time alone. If I worked at Starbucks, yeah, maybe I'd have to hide it. I'm fortunate in that regard.
Most days there are moments of such deep love and profound understanding that tears cannot be stopped.
For me this whole thing is not just about the state of consciousness but the profound understandings that pour nonstop. Reality is understood at higher and higher levels. Everything becomes so interconnected. I can watch a guy flick his cigarette out of the car driving at 40 miles per hour, catch a quick glimpse of the cigarette as it bounces off the asphalt and realize that in that cigarette butt lies an entire universe, as deep and infinite as the celestial universe our astronomers explore. Stuff like that all day long.
I think there's quite a range of variability in how people experience nonduality. For some it will be more heart-centered and feeling-based, for others more head-centered and intellectual, for other more visual, for others more visionary, for others more wacky & paranormal, etc.

I wouldn't say I feel it. I would phrase it as: I understand my body is the imagination of God. Sometimes I look at my hands and see them as magic. Most of the day, however, when I'm on autopilot, I lose sight of the magic, simply residing in the mundaneness of everyday human life.
There are moments throughout the day where I stop and consciously reconnect with the magic. Like, "Oh yeah! These hands are the hands of God!" But then I usually go back into functional living.
I know I can deepen this a lot more with more work.
I still need more work to calm the body and mind down to be still for long periods of time. I'm not so good at that because I am constantly bombarded with wisdom. Wisdom and insights pour all day long. I run out of energy just verbalizing them all for the benefit of mankind. I feel it is my duty to be a mouthpiece for God's infinite wisdom. And I enjoy it.

It's hard to say. For me, the awakening experienced on 5-MeO-DMT represents the purest form of nondual consciousness. I'm not sure what it takes to turn that into an unbroken state. It's total God-mode. You would be a walking God with that level of consciousness and you would transform the entire planet simply through the power of your presence. You could look a charging elephant in the eye and get him to bow before you. It is truly superhuman.
At that level I could no longer teach verbally. My teaching would be to walk around town blessing crowds of homeless people, children, and throngs of followers, and performing miracles. Grown men would be brought to tears from the radiance of my love. Birds would land in my hand.
People would write myths about it a 1000 years later.
I am nowhere near that level.

Yes, of course psychedelics cause your visual field to melt. That's what you call distortions. This is mostly a distraction. It's a cool effect but not too spiritually significant. Focus on probing the luminosity instead.
What's really happening is that the psychedelic is lubricating your mind, softening it up from its usual concrete stranglehold. As the mind softens up like warm clay, it becomes malleable, wavy, and flexible.
Taking a psychedelic is like melting an ice cube from solid to liquid to gas.
As your mind becomes more liquid your visual field starts to melt. It becomes unstable, giving you access to Infinite Imagination. This is why you start seeing faces in the carpet and so forth. As the mind becomes more fluid your literally start to materialize your thoughts. If you think of demons you will start to see demon faces in the carpet, and so forth.

Your thinking is very black and white.
You don't need to living totally in the truth to enjoy life.
You gotta find some ways to enjoy life. All of this spiritual work is ultimately just a way of learning how to enjoy life. It's not about living in some cave and being a hardcore monk. That is only done for a temporary period as a means to an end.
You can practice enjoying life right now. You don't have to finish your enlightenment.
Structure your life in ways that make you feel good about yourself. I don't mean shooting up heroin or partying every night. I mean more simple pleasures, like the pleasures of reading a good book, cooking a nice meal, going fishing on the weekend, going for a road trip, listening to some good music, practicing some cool hobby, etc.
There are many ashrams around the world. In India, in Costa Rica, and elsewhere.
You could also try to find a more laid back job which is either more enjoyable to do or gives you more free time. When you have a business that you enjoy doing, life becomes a lot sweeter.
I spend a lot of time on my work, but I love it so it rarely feels like work. That's the key to work. You gotta do something you find meaningful.

@Bryanbrax Too many wacky visuals in that video -- gives the wrong impression.
Think of it as nothing changes visually. Just awareness increases and sense of self collapses or expands.
It feels like being hyper-present. You become so present & aware that you literally see through the substance of physical reality. What once looked physical now seems like a hologram. Physical objects appear empty, like a hallucination or a mirage. You can see them still, but they lack reality. It can also feel like the air got sucked out of the room. Everything becomes crystal clear and luminous.
It also feels like divinity and pure magic.

@Dylan Page You'll need 5 to 10 years of study, contemplation, and practice to understand the highest things I talk about.
There's just no getting it without the work and mystical experiences.
So be patient and do the work. Things will become clearer over time.