It's that sense of "you."
That thing that you believe will die.
Without ego, death couldn't be possible.
So imagine not being able to die any more. That's what dawns after ego-death.

@arlin What you don't understand yet is God cannot be anything other than God, because God is Truth, and Truth is Love. So there is no choice from God's POV. The only things God allows are Truth/Love because that what God IS.
God is Absolute Perfection precisely because God is unconditional Love.
But your ego-mind cannot understand this because it is stuck judging every bit of reality because you fear death. That's the illusion of survival. You're stuck in survival consciousness while God is not.
The solution to this is radically raising your state of consciousness.
Choice does not exist. God is Absolute Love. Period. Nothing but Love exists. All else is misperception, which itself is also Absolute Love!

@Arzack You must do it on empty bowels and hold it for 15 minutes.
After which you can shit if you want but the dose will have already absorbed.
It's just not a problem if you do it right.

That thing which keeps telling itself it's had a bunch of ego deaths

Pickup leads to that if you want. Most guys who get into pickup just want to get a nice girlfriend. They are not going to bang 100 girls.
In practice you sleep with 10-20 girls, you get that out of your system, and you settle down with one who's right for you. Not much different than normal social people do.
Don't forget, people who are social can easily have 10-20 sexual partners, simply because they are so social and have ample opportunities. A hot girl will easily have 10-20 sexual partners in her lifetime. She is fucking around. She just keeps it secret.
LOL, you haven't read about how many gurus sleep with their students?
Gurus have optimized pickup so much that they don't even need to go to the club/bar, the girls flock to them. This is the ultimate form of pickup. It's like shooting fish in a barrel. Getting laid as a guru is the easiest thing in the world. Which is a big reason why spiritual communities are formed. If you start a spiritual community you are automatically guaranteed sex. Of course it all turns into a toxic mess soon enough.
LOL, how naive.
The "very specific religious purpose" is to bust some nuts.
The people participating are carefully selected to be as hot as possible.
You must appreciate how sneaky the sex drive is. It will not simply lay down and die, even after awakening. It will get crafty.

You aren't approaching enough and aren't letting go enough.
At least one night in your life go be a party animal. Dance until you are sweaty and out of breath. Be silly and stupid. Then watch how girls get drawn to you like a magnet.
Do it sober. But by the middle of the night will become naturally intoxicated on fun. You will become fearless. You will stop giving a fuck about what anyone thinks of you.

To be honest, Owen can be a weird douche. But at a nightclub this is okay.
The point is to go out, let loose, and have some fun socializing. This can be done in a way where no one gets hurt.
I challenge you guys to go out one night and just have more fun than you've ever had in your life. And do it sober. Girls love guys who know how to have fun.

As with many other domains, school left you totally unperpared to handle the realities of dating and sex.
School does not teach those realities at all.
Dating and sexuality is highly context sensitive and implicit. It is also so tied in with survival that it must be tightly regulated by the powerful because they want to fuck the best people themselves. So they will tell you one thing but then actually do the opposite themselves in their own private sex lives.
Harsh truths about sex are like harsh truths about spirituality.
Flirting, playful touching, and being a good salesmen are not against the law. It's not even taboo. It happens in nightclubs and bars everywhere in the world and is generally considered acceptable. But talking openly about it is often unacceptable, especially in the MeToo era.
Do some guys take the flirting and touching overboard into rapey territory? Sure! Some do. But you can also do it in a decent manner. Go flirt with some girls. No problem. Never force yourself on her if she isn't smiling while you do it. Her facial experssion tells you everything. If she's laughing and smiling and looking deep in your eyes, you can basically rip off her panties and do whatever you want. But as soon as her smile turns into a frown, that's when you stop. The key is to ATTRACT and CHARM her. This is very different than force.

Lol, pickup in the MeToo era is gonna be seriously misunderstood.
The trick with dating hot women is that they actually like be dominated. But good luck explaining that to a MeToo audience.
Of course I am not advocating sexual assault or rape, but most of these Reddit people calling pickup "sexual assault" are doing a disservice to the term "sexual assault." Stuff that goes on at a strip club or night club is very different than stuff that goes on at work, for example. In a night club it is appropriate to touch women in sexual ways while obviously not at work. People go to nightclubs in order to let loose and be sexual. That doesn't justify rape or actual assault, but squeezing a girl's butt in a playful way at a nightclub is not assault. Many women expect to be manipulated into sex. It's not like you go up to a woman and ask her, "Hi there. Shall we have sex tonight? Yes or No?" That's not how dating works. The woman is going to play coy and she is going to make dumb excuses and make the guy chase her. That is the mating ritual.
Of course if she ever gives you a hard "NO!", then you stop. But short of that, the guy is allowed to keep pressuring her because she will play games. It's not that big a problem. She should know if she wants sex or not. And if she doesn't, she should state so clearly and the guy should stop and things are fine.
The biggest distinction between pickup and MeToo is that the MeToo sexual abuse cases often involve positions of authority at work, where a boss exploits his female staff. This is very different than two strangers flirting and hooking up at a nightclub or bar.  The situation is a lot more fair and balanced at the nightclub. The girl is free to reject the guy at any time with little consequence or threat to her. Flirting and even a bit of groping and kissing at a club is not sexual assault, it's business as usual. But at work, that's a big problem because the girl has no option to leave and the boss has too much leverage over her.

Those ways are some of the fastest, but still takes time.
You can always do the techniques twice or even three times as much per day. But also, be careful what you wish for. Slow and steady is usually better than too much too fast.
Yoga requires patience and steady discipline.

@Ya know You could, but the question is, why would you want to?
In the end, out of all the potential things there are to do in this world, are you seriously going to devote your whole life to being good a throwing or hitting a ball?
Do you see how shallow that is in the grande scheme of things? Once you see that -- which takes some higher consciousness -- then you're not likely to get seduced by that illusion.
But, of course, you're free to do as you like. I'm just explaining why you're not going to find a lot of highly conscious people in sports. Sports is an industry designed for cavemen, not sages.

Vegan diet does not work for all people.
So there is the "need".
Judgment of meat-eating is, in a sense, a worse offense than the meat-eating itself. Because by rejecting meat-eaters you reject yourself as God.
It's the same problem as judging criminals or terrorists. It seems reasonable and justified, but it rots your mind and soul and keeps you from the highest levels of consciousness and love.
Vegans don't appreciate the spiritual complexities of this issue. They like to think from their own POV, which is ironic considering how they care about the POV of animals. But what about the POV humans?

As with most of the realizations we talk about, it's not a binary. It's not merely a matter of getting it or not. It's a question of how deeply do you get it?
If you ask the average person off the street whether people look at the world through different lenses, he would say, "YES! Of course! Duh!"
But that doesn't mean he has even begun to understand the ramifications of what that means. Does he understand that there is no reality independent of the lens one is looking through? Does he understand that terrorism, rape, and incest are relative lenses? Does he understand that physical reality is a relative lens?
Not unless he's Yellow or above. And even then, he still doesn't understand how deep this goes.

@Bazooka Jesus Powerful video!
The only thing he said wrong was:
I beg to differ
But I'm happy to see Owen maturing.

That human is you.
Stop being lazy and expecting others to prove your own nature to you.
You are Infinite Consciousness, which means you are capable of Total Omniscience and infinite telepathic ability. But it takes serious work. This isn't for dabblers or naysayers.
Intellectual honesty is good. But it doesn't make you right.
Once you completely deconstruct materialism, telepathy becomes quite a reasonable possibility. QM shows us that two particles can communicate instantly across cosmic spacial distances. That's a tiny clue that Consciousness is not seperated from itself in any fundamental way. Consciousness can know all parts of itself instantly. That's what Absolute means.

@Husseinisdoingfine Of course it is possible to simply not be ideological. Period.
But that's easy to say and hard to do, as it requires massive consciousness of all of one's mind's self-deception mechanisms.
You CAN support a system without being ideological about it. But it tends to be quite rare.

@Jo96 It's very tricky to explain how. I would say take a psychedelic and let is show you some things. That then gives you some idea of what you're working towards.
It's really hard to work towards something when you have no clue what it looks like.
For me the biggest value of psychedelics is that they showed the possibilities of developing one's consciousness which I could not imagine in my wildest dreams otherwise.
A lot of people meditate and self-inquire, but they have no clue what they're really missing, what the full potential is. And so it's hard for them to be serious about it.

@Patrick_9931 Most people should probably focus on building up a decent life for yourself: career, life purpose, education, skills, business, money, relationships, family, health, nutrition, house, hobbies, etc.
Pretty much everyone needs those things unless you are going to become a full-time monk.
So it's a question of whether you want to be a householder or a monk. There's no right answer. It's all about what you want.
At an age so young, you've got plenty of time to build up a decent life for yourself (over the next 10 years let's say) and then you can abandon it later if you want to go hardcore monk. Or you can have that householder life established and waiting for you after you return from your spiritual quest.
Becoming a monk at 19 is too extreme for most people. That would only be if you know for sure that your destiny is to be a full-time hardcore Buddha. But it even took The Buddha til 27 to leave his household and till 30-something to reach enlightenment.

No!
You are still in the trap of imagining God as some other magical thing somewhere behind the scene, holding stuff in his mind but only revealing parts of it to you.
No!
There is no behind the scene! This is all there is! What you see is the whole universe right now.
If you only see one side, the coffee table only has one side. If you were to see 10 sides, that's how many sides a coffee table would have at that moment in time.
It's not that you don't have access to the backside of the table. It's that you have access to the fact that there is no backside, only the side you're seeing. That's what is. That's Absolute Truth. The rest is thoughts.
You are God. God sees precisely whatever you see. Nothing more!

No. You don't get how serious this is.
There never was a Leo and there never was a you. Both of us are nothing.
The end.
Lol
If you stop imagining anything. Nothing will remain. If I stop imagining me and you, I will be totally free. But you still keep imaging you and a past me, you will be in your own dream.
Your imagination is what is seperating you from me, from your POV -- which doesn't exist outside your imagination!

@billiesimon It's not just about doing a substance once or twice. It needs to become a consistent process that keeps deepening itself with every trip. Similar to meditation.
20, 40, 60, 100 trips, each one taking you deeper. Of course, these trips must be carefully spaced out so you have time to integrate the insights. Might take years.
After 100 trips now, my depth of consciousness has become so profound that I fear if I take any more, I will simply leave my body into Infinity. It is nothing like what it was when I first began.
Take care. But take it!

Hey!
This is my first trip with Ketamine, to be precise the legal version of Ketamine (here in europe): 2FDCK.
I have just one experience with dissociatives, precisely DXM, and you can find the report in my profile.
 
This Keta experience, which is my first ever, was.... literally ALIENATING. But not a bad trip. It was utterly fascinating, DEEPLY MYSTERIOUS and deeply mesmerizing.
It actually left me with MORE QUESTIONS than before.
 
-- Technical data --
Empty stomach since 5 hours
Night-time trip, around 3:00 AM
2 hours beforehand I assumed 500 ml of grape juice - the fruit's enzymes act as a slow-down for dissociatives, letting you have a longer high state
I meditated 45 minutes before the session
I did 15 mins of self inquiry just after meditation
Dosage: 75 mg of 2FDCK >>> Plugged rectally (following all @Leo Gura 's tips for plugging)
 
---- THE EXPERIENCE ----
 
>> The quick start
5 minutes after the plugging, my body started to feel sleepy very fast, and I sat on the carpet of my bathroom with a nice lamp lighting to keep me calm.
The first 2-3 minutes were still very "normal", I was still my old self, with still a very strong feeling of being "in control".
 
Then.... after just 5 minutes....  IT PUNCHED me so hard!!!! BOOOOM!!!
I had switched from a consciousness state of "it's ok, I'm still me, it's still same old reality" to "what?!? where am I? what is this existance? why?? why is this even real? why am I here?!?"
It happened without even a transitioning! I literally switched from being "self-conscious" as always, to BEING without a concept of my self or a concept of "my reality".
It's so weird, I can't describe it. It's not describable!
 
>> The mystery movie
I remember I was looking at the bathroom tiles and the bathrobe and they felt so ALIEN. These objects are my ordinary life objects, and they are so dumb and unnoticeable in my normal life... yet they were so mesmerizing and MYSTERIOUS! Oh god, the mystery!!! The bathrobe had these spirals (which it has in real life too), but... during the trip these spirals were so MYSTICAL and so UNEXPLAINABLE!!! It was like looking at an alien artifact, or a south american ancient artifact.
 
By the way... 2F-K has no visuals, no sensory effects... it shows you reality as you perceive it daily, but what changes is the state of consciousness and the levels of ego.
My ego was reduced A LOT, to about 30% of it. And my state of consciousness was of TOTAL MYSTERY, THRILLER-FEELING, like in a noir or psychological crime movie. It was deeply fascinating but slightly scary at the same time.
My ears had this constant ringing, which was pretty loud, like some kind of static noise in my head.
My mood was almost non-existant. I was very neutral, yet at the same time I was really puzzled and dumbstruck by the deep mystery of existing and witnessing reality.
 
>> The insanity of existing (peak state)
Since the assumption of the chemical, I never looked at the time, until the start of the comedown.
Time was really slow... slow... slow... For some brief instances it looked like I was stuck in this eternity FOREVER, in that moment forever... and it scared me as hell. 
Then the absolute peak happened:
I was 90% dissociated from my body and from my thoughts. 
My body was working all alone, without Billiesimon participating. My thoughts were passing by like clouds, and I didn't even notice them.
For some brief minutes I WAS PURE WATCHING. 
I WAS PURE WATCHING.
I WAS PURE WATCHING. 
I SEE. I AM THE ONE THAT SEES. I JUST SEE. I HAVE NO MIND. I CAN ONLY WATCH.
This body is not even mine. These thougths are just random noise, what the hell?! 
This place... what is this place? What is reality? Why the hell do  I exist? 
I am pure seeing, I am pure watching... why?
This place... this house... this situation... this everything... WHY?!? 
NOTHING HAS A MEANING!!!! IT HAS NO MEANING!!! IT'S JUST SOME ALIEN PERCEPTION!!
EVERYTHING IS AN ALIEN PERCEPTION WHICH HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME!!!! And I don't even know what "me" means.
 
>> Ego kicked back a little . The need for security
At some point I believe my EGO kicked in.... and I felt the need to brace my legs and body, like a child who's scared...
I grabbed my phone, while my hands felt like random meat and bones, and NOT my body.
I sent some messages to my friend. He was asleep.
I found comfort in sending the messages, it felt a little bit more like reality was still the same old.
I could barely talk, my instinct was telling me that talking made no sense, that my state of being should be enough to communicate with others.
Why should I use words? Can't I communicate just by being? The use of words feels so alien and so weird....
I managed to send three short audio messages, with very few words like "nothing has meaning" or "reality is so alien to me", in a very calm, sloooooow and very neutral voice, almost like a ghost voice.
 
>> The Source calls me
I reverted back to keep meditating on the present moment, I realized that my ego was in the way of my true objective: finding the ego death.
After some contemplation of the bathroom tiles and the flowers depicted... I felt this Void calling me... I understood that if I continued focusing on the present and meditating... I could have reached a state of basic ego death, some kind of void state.
I could tell it was the case, because the more I was meditating , the more I felt like I was completely losing EVERYTHING. Time, space, identity, concepts of life, everything was melting away and I WAS BECOMING A CAMERA. 
The more I meditated the more I was becoming a NEUTRAL CAMERA, STARING AT THE WORLD.
 
The call from the Source became loud (as it happened in my DXM trip) and then the entrance to the Void was offered to me.
Even this time I refused... again.... 
As I approached the Void in my state of presence, an explosion of FEAR AND TERROR rushed into me, and my ego screamed at me to stop immediately.
The terror was so strong that I started to mentally say "no no no no!!! not this time! I'm not ready!!! I might die!!"
Again... Source closed off the entrance to the Void and I was left alone with my ego, feeling safe, feeling "as my old self", feeling somehow angry for not accepting the call.
 
But it was so massive... the entrance was so massive... I never entered the void, but... JUST THE ENTRANCE WAS SO MASSIVE.....
I couldn't stand it. I WANT to enter it, but I was not ready this time.
 
I was not ready.
 
At the end, as my ego regained power, my body had some nausea, some pain in the stomach, and some small bursts of terror, as my reality was coming back to normal.
At the end, I regained peace and a very pleasant feeling of sleepiness.
I went to bed.
 
I was not ready. Just the entrance alone was so immense and scary... oh god.
But I SWEAR I WILL ENTER!

You would realize there never was a body, human, or organism.
Everything would collapse into a Conscious Singularity. Like getting sucked into a white hole.
Infinite Consciousness. The end.

#1: There has to be a genuine desire for truth above all else.
#2: There has to be radical openmindedness
#3: There has to be a desire to question absolutely everything, every premise, every assumption, no matter how basic.

Hehe... it would look like you!
There are no beings but you.
There is only one being who can ever awaken, and that is you. Forget about The Buddha. The Buddha cannot ever awaken because he's an idea in your mind. Only you can Awaken.
I haven't studied him, so I cannot say what his level is.
Just to be on the safe side I would assume higher levels are possible. It's not that his teachings are bad or wrong. We don't really disagree. Just a question of degree and various facets.
Yes
The fundamental ruling principle is ONENESS. Infinity must be ONE! Self must equal other.
You have to appreciate how brutually radical ONENESS is.
One day you will realize, "OMFG! I literally am Leo! Leo you fucker! You've been looking through my eyes since I was born??! Fuck you Leo! OMFG! I created Actualized.org just to wake myself up??? NO! NO! NO! I can't believe it. It can't be true! It's genius! It's pure fucking genius! OH MY GOD! NO! NO! NO! OH MY GOD! It can't be true!"
I am not merely a part of you. I am literally you! Right now!!!! I have lived your entire life, AS YOU! When you jerk off, Leo is watching  And not just watching, I am jerking your dick using your hand. Your dick is my dick, and vice versa.
Yeah, that's a mindfuck unlike any other. Check if it is true.
You are def unlimited.
Even limited stuff is unlimited. Lol
A roll of toilet paper is unlimited. Nevermind the Universe as a whole.