@Leo Gura, when you were at your game design job in Boston and having that mid life crisis that you talked about in other places and also when you were first conceiving Actualized.org did you really think that this was actually possible for you? Not the success of having 800k subs or the following that you have now but the big picture understanding, the growth that you’ve gotten, the insights and awakenings, the self mastery you’ve been gaining over the years, etc. I’m not asking, is this work worth it. But do you think you could’ve predicted the kinda growth you’ve gotten to now back when you were 23/24? I don’t mean visualizing and believing it was possible. I don’t mean predicting you’d be this cool dude on YouTube. I mean, when you were contemplating your life, your potential, or whatever it is you contemplated when you were my age (23 going on 24), do you think you could’ve predicted this kinda personal growth, consciousness, understanding to the degree that you feel?
I’m just curious because this really is coming up for me when I really contemplate my death deep, get in touch with my intuition, and really feel what I ultimately want out of my life, which is - really feeling like a lot of this is fantasy. At the end of the day I don’t want to just run off into a cave and be some hermit. Nor do I want to keep living in a damn city where I live now (San Francisco). I do intuit this kinda blend between a Sat Yoga ashram/institute/community (btw, would you consider that a cult with all the doomsday stuff?), Peter Ralston, Om Swami, and you kinda blended into all 1 life purpose and I couldn’t fit my vision when I visualize it and feel it because that’s talking such a drastic change of becoming this spiritual master/mystic with high level big picture understanding and all this other stuff but when I think about it I look in the mirror, my bank account, my rapid ADHD monkey mind in my 20 min sits of trying to build concentration, my depresssion, life history, etc. and I’m like “this is a fucking pipe dream.” The extrodinary self mastery I’d need to not even reach what I even want spiritually but also to not turn into a cult leader and run stuff and also to just turn my life around now I’m like “this feels like a fantasy.” Yes in the abstract I see that it can be done (like that whole Ralston story in your interview with him buying a toaster) but I feel like this vision is crazy. In yet, when I intuit my life and I feel my ever bearing death just from the reality that this limited perspective (aka “my life”) will end and now that I’m getting older and I’m having that feeling of ‘holy fuck, those last 2 weeks flew by,’ and ‘good God, that was 4 years ago already...’ I just feel like this is what I’m supposed to do. What the hell else am I going to do?
I guess I could just use your thoughts on this. I feel like I haven’t been able to get this handled with myself, the life purpose course, or even other enlightened people I’ve met. I’ve met some at my work that I’ve talked to, at the Zen center I live near, and other places. I mean, going from a place of total self deception, no skills or money, a desire for an adventure (external and internal), a desire to connect deeply in solitude and silence, ADHD, some debt of $15k-25k, no car, car insurance you wouldn’t even pay able to pay because of such a bad driving record, victim mindset, depression, and the whole works... is vision REALLY enough? Not in that, will some magic LoA save me. But is a strong powerful vision TRULY enough?
 

So after watching Leo’s latest Spiral Dynamics video (Important insights & nuances), I had some insights into myself.
When I first heard of spiral dynamics, I agreed with the ‘green’ ideas. I followed similar belief systems and ways of thinking in my mind. I believed that intellectually I was at a green level. However, what I failed to see was that I am not a ‘green’ person on the spiral.
I am not green financially
I am not green socially
I am not green emotionally
I am not green physically
I am not green environmentally
I’m probably not even green spiritually.
I haven’t integrated the previous steps in the spiral. I never transcended orange with financial/social/physical abundance. I realised that you can not disown something you never had.
It’s like I’ve been trying to jump the stairs to self-actualisation, instead of walking up them. At the moment, I believe I am still trying to secure my self financially with job security and having my own house. I don’t have many friends, and feel a deep lack of connection with society and others. I am literally on the ‘Safety’ level of Maslow’s Hierarchy, trying to bypass my way to Self-Actualisation, in a desperate attempt to meet my lower needs.
Now I just feel stuck. I’m addicted to passively seeking out new and novel information for a quick fix, that I have no discipline or grit to stick to any of the practises.
 

For a while now i didn’t  create any meaningful connections or relationships with people. I feel somewhat different and awkward opposed to other individuals in our society. Although I don’t have any problems with talking to people i have a real problem with creating a true conversation where a person truly meets me and real connections are made. I had many great opportunities to create a relationship with a woman but my inability to open up was holding me back. I don’t know what to do. Although i am aware of this situation it is not easy to fix it. I feel like my personality is not really developed enough. I am well educated in subjects of spirituality and nonduality but I am having a problem with including this in my personality since it could really weird people out. I am 17 years old 

What actually happens in ego death and what happens after the moment the ego dies? After my intense weed experience I got a feeling of how it might be like but it wasn't close to an actual ego death, especially after that I have been very fascinated by the term. 

I have done some research and came to the conclusion that I'll do Psilocybe Cubensis for my first Psychedelic trip. I have been meditating for close to 2 years and studying personnel development for 3 years. I was thinking of doing a low dose of 1 gram just to be safe. Is that too low?
I read that its best to take on an empty stomach to limit nausea and have a more intense trip.
Is there anything else I should know about mushrooms? Can I just eat them?
 
Thanks!
 

Lol
The state isn't for her, it's for me. I have to be in a mood to flirt.

What post-modernism gets right is that reality is deeply perspectival and there are way more valid perspectives than just one.
What post-modernism gets wrong is that humans can and must agree on some core facts, truths, and values. Just because there are many perspectives does not mean all these persepctives are equally truthful and good. Some are more deluded than others. Flat Earthers have a worse persepective than Round Earthers, and this is not merely an opinion.

1) Life ain't fair, so drop that childish expectation. Embrace the challenge. Embrace your weaknesses. For some guys earning $1M will be easier than getting a girlfriend. For other guys, earning $10K will be harder than getting a girlfriend. We each have our strengths and weaknesses.
Honestly, for me, it is way easier to make $1M than find the right girl. But I have high standards. It would be worth it to pay $100K to find the right girl.
2) It doesn't usually take 1000s of hours to get a gf. The 1000s of hours we're talking about here is not to get a gf but to develop the skillset to become really good with attracting and understanding girls, and also growing yourself into a powerful man. The gf is the least important part of this process.
3) There are many degrees of getting a gf. There are many qualities of gf. Just getting a random slob girl at the bar to be your gf is way easier than say, getting a smoking hot, mentally stable, spiritual, well-developed gf who aligns with your personality. The higher your standards the harder you will have to work for it and the more value you will have to bring to the table. When I talk about getting a gf I'm really talking about finding your "perfect" girl. A high quality life partner, not just some fuck buddy who you are afraid to show your friends.
4) There's also the matter of how high outside your league are you trying to bat? If you're not so good looking you will have to provide a lot of value in other areas to attract and keep your smoking hot gf. But if you are happy with a below-average girl, then that will be way way easier to get.
- - - - - -
Think of it this way, the 1000s of hours of self-help work is something you should already be eager to do for yourself. You're not doing it for the girl, you're doing it FOR YOU! And then you will leverage that investment to also attract a high quality girl.

I have seen attractive girls with lame looking guys.
But of course generally people of similar attractiveness levels match. Buy attractiveness in a guy is not just about looks.
Most normal guys don't have much game nor much value to offer, they just coast on whatever they got. In which case they can't bat out of their league much.
Batting out of your laegue requires bringing the value.

Looks do matter, however your looks cannot be changed, and you can still get girls with your looks. You'll just have to work harder.
In the end you just have to accept how you look and work from there. And if you keep fixating on your looks you will be too demotivated to talk to girls and thereby lose girls you could otherwise get.
What black pill gets wrong is that there are girls out there who will be okay with your looks. But if you keep feeding on black pill ideas you will never even have the motivation to meet and succeed with those girls, thereby totally screwing yourself.

Completely losing control during a trip is genuinely dangerous. That's not a mistake. You do need to control some of your behavior.
Some behavior is dangerous, some is not. Make that distinction. Some behavior is also socially dangerous.

Look, in the end you have to come to grips with the fact that psychedelics and Consciousness can always take a detour into Hell. That's just the nature or Consciousness. You have to just let that go and focus on the positives.
Don't forget, everyday life can also turn into Hell at any day. Nuclear war could start tomorrow. However, you cannot live your life focusing on that.
The key issue is how you use your focus. Focus on good stuff. Why are you focusing on bad trips when you could use that time to focus on good trips?
2 years after a trip is a long time. You should have let that go a long time ago. Stop fixating on it. Stop thinking about it.

I discovered that Alpha Lipoic Acid can be a powerful nootropic on its own.
Just be careful that you don't have a bunch of heavy metal toxicity, or it can make things worse.

@joeyi99
-energy shooting up & down you're spine
-eye kids flutter
-chest shakes
-3rd eye pulsates all day long
-I spin while i mediate
-i feels like there prickers or tingling feelings on me at times
-once I had energy/heat pouring or shooting out of the top of my head about a foot high! (Crown chakra) 
-when it awoke the 1st time it was nuts, I didnt know what kundalini was as the time?
- it wasn't until months later Leo & some other people confirmed it was kundalini
-you purge shit, I cried the other day for 15 minutes, 
-kundalini is clearing chakras & re wiring the psyche To get the body & mind ready for enlightenment, it's a like a pre enlightenment phase that can last 3-30 years....some people get it & some people bypass it.
-but at the end of the day it still isn't enlightenment, so I gotta watch out, the ego likes to think something like Kundalini is bigger then what it is, Damn ego...

I don't claim that. I'm well aware of my limits in many areas of life.
Most spirituality is not people seriously thinking, they are parroting group-think. This includes the New Agers, Buddhists, nondualists, etc. It's all deep group-think.
And when it comes to politics no one is seriously thinking either.
The key is to realize hoe precious and rare original thought is in humans.
If there's one thing I do differently from others is that I try to think original thoughts. This can take you very far if you do it for years.

I am more sure each day that being successful with meditation depends 90% on skill and 10% on time spent/'effort'.
Careful with outsourcing everything to just the 'letting go' motto. Of course ultimately 'letting go' is neccesary, but how you get there is important. If there is no skill you might never get to properly 'let go'. So you might think you are 'letting go', but you are actually 'trying to let go', so instead you are not actually letting go. 
In the past I had 1 hour or half an hour meditation habits each day, and while more or less I was able to achieve a certain effectivity (meaning, more or less I was 'peaceful' most of the time and it started to become enjoyable) it was still kind of hit and miss. And the hits were still quite mellow.
Noways, what do I do, is yoga stretchings (a mix between Hatha Yoga and stretching), and then afterwards I sit to meditate, but no timer, that's just the last exercise of the session, whatever is the duration is the duration. So sometimes is 15 minutes, sometimes is 3 minutes. 
What happen today is, 3 days without meditating, I do today the session, I finish, I sit to do the meditation. Just as im sitting down, in the second 5-6 after sitting, bum. Gone. Total Samadhi. Pure unity. Yujuuu. 
How is that possible? The last 3 days I took drugs, didn't meditate, didn't exercised, 0 'consciousness baseline', yet what happens is: A yoga practice practiced over 100 times, dozens of subtle movements learned, I sit and the body energetically is completely opened, I move the hands in such a way, and the back is in a certain way, that as soon as I closed my eyes, and opened my hands, I was gone. There wasn't an intention to 'let go', a build up of 'consciousness', or an effort to silence my mind. Just that the movements, breathing and postures were the precise steps in order for the body to be instantly receptive/connected to the mystical. No praying, no morality, no miracles. Just that the right 'buttons' were pressed. 
I believe we are giving very little importance to the science and tools of spiritual techniques, and a lot to discussions, ideas, effort, morality, and idealistic letting go´s. I think we need to get more pragmatic. There is a lot to learn. 

That's not what Consciousness is about. You want a nice life, but Consciousness doesn't care about that. Consciousness will strip you of all your human fantasies, stories, desires, and ideas. The deeper you go, the less human you will become.

Lowest quality ingredients humanly possible, and all the matter is long dead, or wasn't ever alive in the first place.
Whole foods all contain living cells and matter. Processed foods don't.

Capitalism includes the urge to help others. Healthy capitalism helps others.
What's really the problem is excessive, toxic capitalism.
In practice socialism could make the environment worse off if the socialist system is so dysfunctional, corrupt, and unsuccessful that it cannot create innovative new technology and people are too desperate for survival to even have resources to devote to environmental issues.
Caring about the environment requires a realtively high degree of wealth. Poor people can't afford to care. And it also requires high technology.
Caring about the environment as an ideology isn't good enough. You have to have the material wealth necessary to do something about it.
Look at Cuba. What are they gonna do to solve environment problems? They can barely feed themselves.
Nothing in Europe is actual socialism.

Socialism means: no private ownership of businesses.
Welfare programs are not socialism.

It boils down to geography. The geography in the Middle East is so bad that survival there is much harder than elsewhere. Requiring harsher cultures.
One of the biggest problems for Gaza is that they just don't have enough geographical abundance to ever succeed there, even if peace is magically made. Successful nations are built on abundant geography. Which is another reason why Zionists are grabbing land.

To recognize that 9/11 was a trick, designed to provoke and trap Americans into an over-reaction. To not fall into this trap and instead focus on shoring up defenses against terrorist attacks and using very targeted drone strikes on terrorist targets in the Middle East and hunting down Bid Laden and Al Queada via undercover CIA work. Also building alliances in the Middle East by providing them with humanitarian aid and not trying to exploit them or push an American agenda on them.
Think of how Captain Picard would have handled 9/11.
If I was the President on 9/11, I would have made a national speech in which I told the American people that we have been set up with an ingenious trap, explained the trap, and urged everyone that it is our patriotic duty as Americans not to fall into the trap of waging a war against the Middle East or over-reacting, as that would make us fools. Instead, since we are intelligent, we will carefully allocate our resources to technological solutions which will actually make us safer at home. And that Bin Laden would be captured and brought to justice via covert means since he is a sneaky devil. We must be more sneaky and clever than him. And above all else we must maintain our moral high-ground by never abusing any Muslims. Anyone who abuses Muslims is an unAmerican traitor because America is defined by our integrity. No amount of terrorist acts will get us to abandon our integrity. Bin Laden is welcome to blow up half of New York, but we will never compromise our integrity because we will never be devils. As Americans we will respond to all acts of violence with maturity, wisdom, and intelligence, not like wild raving apes.

Sounds more like an exploration of guilt in the abstract.
You can explore what extreme guilt or shame feels like without having done anything in the "real world". Psychedelics allow such high levels of abstraction that you can explore moods and feeling disconnected from your personal life.

@Vrubel It's not about acting disinterested, it's about being disinterested.
If you had 3 other girlfriends, you would not have felt disrespected by that girl. Because you would have been too busy to even notice what nonsense she texted you. You would have replied to her "K" a few days late. And she would have felt like you are a valuable guy. Instead you communicated to her that you are a desperate and lonely guy who needs her more than she needs you.
This stuff is extremely counter-intuitive. It will drive you crazy until you finally figure it out.
Detachment is a core principle of game. The lesson goes very deep.

You need to learn that girls have no investment in you until after sex. She is not going to care about you until after sex.
The issue is, you are invested in her and she is not invested in you. Girls are not thinking about you, they are lost in their busy little lives, like rats, until after they sleep with you. Then everything flips.
Your only problem is over-investment. Stop expecting respect from women until after sex.