Brittany

There is this entire new movement of "conscious porn" that people in the New Age community talk about sometimes. Krystal Aranyani wants to mix awakening/tantra and porn and bring consciousness into the porn industry. Hitomi Mochizuki also has ads for that stuff in her videos. I don't resonate with it, but I will try not to judge.

The spiritual path will look different for a person who views it like a scientist/explorer vs. a person who views it as therapy. For the former, you just want to understand how reality works, for everyone. For the latter, you are in personal pain and suffering and you want it to stop, for yourself. The latter often leads to spiritual bypassing. That is great you found a way of living that is working much better for you.

They sometimes overlap. Political Christians are people who want the government to get involved. They want laws to be changed that reflect Christian values. And then Cultural Christians are people who don't really believe what the Bible says, but like SOME of the values in it. Jordan Peterson is an example of a cultural Christian. There are even people in the KKK, who are cultural Christians. Alex O'Connor does an excellent job at calling out these types of Christians. Cultural Christians really frustrate Atheists because many Atheists study the Bible very thoroughly and can smell a rat from a mile away. it's kind of like "How am I supposed to debate you..........when you, yourself, don't even believe in the Bible?"

You have to also remember that you may fall in love with a woman, marry her, have children with her. And she may die before you die. She might leave you a widower and a single father. Or you might die before her, and you might leave her a widow and a single mother. We don't get to plan the time of our death. And we don't get to plan the time when our partner will die.

I understand the pain you are feeling when it comes to romantic relationships. They are not a good source to find "unconditional love". And you are 100% correct that when someone does not like you, they can be very ............... judgmental? and rejecting? and cruel? and cold? I get it. And I agree with you. Romantic love isn't about loving what is bad, broken, incompatible, imperfect, or ugly or rejected. Romantic Love is about loving what is glamorous, desirable, compatible, attractive, and relatable. No one seeks out the most broken, ugly, beaten down, incompatible, toxic person to marry. Lyubov's crack addict with HIV analogy is perfect as an explanation for this. But love does exist. Unconditional love is absolutely a real thing. It doesn't exist as an object though. Love is not an object that someone can give to you. Love is not an object that a women gives to you. Love is something you already have inside of you. You always have love inside of you. In every moment. Love is inside of you, right here and right now. The reason you can't access the love within you, is because of your inner narrative, your inner chatter, your inner dialogue.....it's blocking the love inside of you. I recommend spending less time on social media And fill your mind with truth. Social media fills your mind with lies. I agree with the people who recommended reading mindfulness books as a starting place. Go to a park or a lakeside and read books on mindfulness. And if you really desire a partner, there are many women in the world that may want to form a healthy, loving relationship with you. The best thing to do is get off social media....get off the internet..... and go out more in the real world. Join meet ups. Go to the gym. Travel. Go out salsa dancing, swing dancing, country line dancing, etc. Go to game nights. Go to sports bars. Volunteer service. Do something you would never usually do. Visit places you would usually never visit. Talk to people you usually wouldn't want to talk to. But, yeah, you are right about unconditional love and romantic relationships. Unconditional love and romantic relationships don't really mesh well........as many people seek a partner with desirable/compatible traits. This is the foundation of what romantic love is. We seek a desirable/compatible partner. We don't seek to love people for exactly who they are, even if they are undesirable, toxic and incompatible to us. Nope. There is a built in "rejecting" side to romantic love....so I agree with you. You aren't wrong about this. Romantic Love REJECTS people all of the time. Romantic Love is a love that discards and rejects what is unwanted. Not everyone makes the cut or passes the test, where romantic love is concerned. Romantic Love is not unconditional love. We are gaslighting people when we treat romantic love like the love of God...it's not like the love of God. So don't seek unconditional love in a romantic partner. This applies for both men and women. Find that within yourself. And then share that love, you already have inside of you, with a partner. Sometimes a woman may help you to cultivate that love or she may help you access that love. Sure. A partner may help you to access the love that is buried inside of you. They may help us soothe our wounds, shame, and fears. They may speak truth at the lies we tell ourselves. They may help us face our demons. ........Sure, that can happen and it is wonderful and incredible when that happens....but the love you feel when with a partner is already yours RIGHT NOW....the love is already within you, right now. You don't need a partner to tap into the love that is already within you. This is counter cultural and society does not teach us this. Society says "wait for others to love you. love is outside of you. love is in a man. love is in a woman. other people will give you love. we will give you love when you do x, y, and z. Obey us and we will love you. Be more of what we like and we will love you. Become confident, get money, get a good job, lose weight, and we will love you. Raise your vibration, become more conscious, become enlightened and we will love you. haha Become attractive and we will love you.". But you don't need to wait for other people to give you love. You have a waterfall of love already inside of you, that is being blocked by your inner dialogue and mental narrative.

Sex drive/romance can all exist from that state. It's just you will have more power over the narrative. You will see the dream.....as just a dream. It's like being able to jump into any book.... experience the vivid story.......but never get lost in it. You jump out of the book and close the book when the day is done. I agree. A lot of what we call romantic love is people outsourcing their healing work to others. I don't think it's "wrong"...... dependency isn't "wrong"........it's just lazy. haha There is a difference between monogamy of mind and monogamy of body. I don't know if there are official terms for them? haha But that's what I will call them for the sake of this discussion. Monogamy of mind aka "I only love you and I don't love anyone else." in many ways, falls away with enlightenment. Even if someone is married to someone else or even if someone hates you........ they are still one with you, they are still united with you, connected with you, part of you, share the same being as you, etc. There is no such thing as "being united" or "being connected" or "joining" or "becoming one" with someone.......we are that ALREADY, with everyone. We are ALREADY united and connected and one. There is no joining to happen. Many times passionate declarations of love and love confessions make it sound like you are FINALLY becoming united/connected/one…..but we ALREADY ALWAYS were connected and one. You aren’t adding anything or anyone to yourself. Everyone is already part of you, regardless of if they are single, dating or married to someone else So yeah, monogamy of mind......this whole "I only love you. But I hate/dislike/don't care about everyone else" or "I love my husband but TO HELL with everyone else" ...that falls away. Lovers in crime. Us against the world. I love you and nobody else. or whatever. haha All of this falls away. These mindsets can't survive after ego death. In ego death, the whole world joins in your union with your partner. Because you and your partner are united with the rest of the world. But monogamy of body.....like who you have sex with? No. That doesn't fall away. haha That is a conscious choice/commitment/decision you have to make. Many people choose monogamy of body (aka having sex with only 1 person) even after realization.

I understand. A man who is peaceful, blissful, is full inside, loves himself, feels one with everything around him, sees the divinity in everyone, etc. that is pursuing a girlfriend: His journey won't feel like he is "gaining" something. He already feels complete, so there is nothing to gain. It will just be another part of God to experience. He is dancing with divinity. She cannot make him "more" of anything. He identifies as nothing and isn't adding anything to his identity or self concept. But a man who is neurotic, feels empty inside, doesn't like himself, is filled with judgements and comparisons, sees only separation, doesn't see the divinity in everyone, etc. that is pursuing a girlfriend: His journey will feel like he is "gaining" or adding something to himself, increasing in some way, finally feeling complete. It won't be a dance of consciousness. But of gaining something to fill a hole. Becoming something. Something that is being added to his identity or self concept. This forum is filled with men in the latter category. And that journey doesn't feel as good, and so dating is a terrible experience for them.

I may have oversimplified. haha I just see a trend of people throwing the towel in because they want to experience a romantic relationship (and the fruits of one). And they don't need to do that.

Your thoughts are often what will manifest. So if you have thoughts like "I will never become enlightened", that is what you are speaking into existence. And because of these thoughts, you will begin to make choices that reflect "I will never become enlightened". And it will be a self fulfilling prophecy. Repeating over and over again "I will never become enlightened in this lifetime" will become a self fulfilling prophecy. But there is often moments of "grace" and "glimpses" that happen...sometimes where a family member dies, you get an injury, a divorce, lose your job, deal with old age etc. that can produce so much disorientation to the psyche that it will break you open into surrender. I didn't pay enough attention to remember and some I just googled. haha But I feel like there is no correlation. Marriage/kids will make enlightenment harder and you will become more distracted. But this is the same with things like being in extreme poverty, having a chronic illness that medication cannot fully numb, PTSD/trauma/mental illness, living in a war zone, being oppressed by authority figures, etc. I think the "well, I am a parent, so I can't be enlightened" argument is an excuse people use because they don't have a FIRE for truth. If you have a FIRE for truth, nothing is going to stop you. Nothing can stand in the way of the fire, when it is there. I just think we need to push back against "Well, I am in a romantic relationship and have kids so I can't become enlightened", because I think it's a cop out and excuse for people who don't care about truth. And....there are plenty of people who are single and who are very unconscious. So what is their excuse? haha Many people who are single, don't care about the truth either. So I think realization is more about the FIRE for truth...than if you are single, married/partnered, have kids/etc.. If you have the FIRE, then your relationship status doesn't really matter.

"Going to a cabin in the mountains" used to be something that only a select few did. It was never a recommendation for the general masses. Very few people are called to the path of a monk. Because of the internet, so many people who don't have the calling of monkhood, are trying to force it upon themselves. This idea that people who are married/in love/have partners and/or have kids are less conscious and can't become enlightened.....no longer works anymore. It used to work in the past when most of the ancient spiritual teachers lived celibate lives. But it no longer applies. Look at people like Eckhart Tolle...he is married. Adyashanti is married Rupert Spira is married and has a child Matt Kahn is married Anna Brown is a mother of 2 kids. And almost every neo-advaita teacher I can think of is married and/or has kids like Andreas Muller, Tony Parsons, Kenneth Madden, Tim Cliss, etc. Kyle Cease is a father Aaron Abke is married and has a child (though he has been acting problematic lately with his political stuff) Michael Singer is married and has kids Byron Katie is married and has kids Ken Wilber was married Alan Watts was married and had kids Sadguru was married and has a child Ram Dass has a son Amoda Maa is married Louise Kay, Lisa Cairns and many other spiritual teachers are in long-term romantic dating partnerships. We gotta stop this "Married/Partnered people with kids are unconscious, are run by their egos and can't get enlightened" myth. We have too many examples of conscious parents and conscious married/partnered people, for this excuse to work anymore.

This would be awesome. haha

I am very confused and disappointed with Aaron as well. He is one of the last people I thought would get radicalized.

I have been intentionally avoiding all of Aaron Abke's political, conspiracy theory, and "sovereign citizen movement-sounding" videos. But I will try to be more open minded and I am going to watch this video later. haha

There is a difference between people who are on the spiritual path just for fun and people who are on the spiritual path because they are taking it way too seriously and are not doing any ego integration. Within the same day, I might watch an Anime show, watch an actualized.org video from Leo, play a video game, read a romantic fiction book, hang out with a friend who is a Christian conservative, spend time with another friend who is Muslim, read a couple of pages of Non-Duality, spiritual enlightenment or philosophy book, watch a video about politics, work on writing a book, read a little bit of the Bible, go bike riding, spend time with little kids in my family, go to an exercise class, watch a Rupert Spira or Adyashanti video, listen to bubbly pop music like Taylor Swift at a coffee shop, read a couple pages of a poetry book, etc. etc. etc. It is good to be well rounded as an individual. Don't make this stuff your whole life. And also, don't be afraid to enjoy this stuff either. There is nothing wrong with philosophical ramblings that lead to nowhere. haha It's just something to do to pass the time. The "Stop spiritually bypassing!!" community can be very religious and bossy at times. The "stop spiritually bypassing!!" community is totally right and I agree with what they are saying. Because if you are using spirituality to escape from duality or because you are afraid of the relative, or to run away from dealing with your trauma, then you are using it improperly. And yet, they are kind of bossy and controlling because they are also policing people who want to engage in non-duality/enlightenment/the void/philosophy just for fun. It isn't cool to tell people what hobbies they can and can't have. Let people engage in this stuff if they like it and find it enjoyable. Nothing wrong with that. There is so much policing lately against people who like talking/rambling/discussing non-duality or spiritual enlightenment....it is uncool. haha Let people like what they like.

In my experience, it is a mixture of (1) feeling/accepting your feelings and being a loving parent to your emotions, (2) seeing through the stories which creates your thinking by changing your worldview, and (3) changing how you think. Accepting your negative feelings, doing shadow work 24-7 and sitting in your trauma, sitting with your painful feelings all day, being a loving friend to your emotions..... but never actually questioning the thoughts that produce your feelings in the first place --- is unproductive. Seeing through the illusory nature of thoughts by changing your worldview using methods like non-duality, nihilism, stoicism, ACIM, etc. but being terrified and afraid to sit with painful feelings in the body --- is unproductive. And changing your thoughts on an individual basis using CBT, REBT, Law of Attraction etc. but demonizing negative thinking and not seeing the value and sometimes truth in negative thinking --- is unproductive. It is good to do a mixture of all 3.

I am not saying that you should abandon them....... But you can absolutely set boundaries with people who are needy, sick, dying, mentally ill/suicidal or require support. That even includes your elderly sick parents. A lot of times this "You are the ONLY one who can save me" is the voice of someone who is subtly manipulating you. I am not saying you shouldn't help them. But just be careful of this "I am the ONLY one who can save them" voice. It is often not true.

I agree with this. Ghetto Culture is also being romanticized by the media. It is an aesthetic now. So sometimes a person who is ghetto might come from a wealthy family. Social media, especially, is very ghetto. It's literally like living in the digital-hood. haha If you spend too much time on social media, you may end up full of anger and becoming very ghetto. And then sometimes that ghetto-ness of social media, bleeds into real life

Alex O'Connor isn't American and I am not sure if he is left wing? But he is a good example of someone who is challenging the right and calling out their hypocrisy. With the uprising of Christian nationalism, we are going to need more people like Alex O'Connor who know the Bible inside and out and can debunk the hypocrisy from the right. It's funny because Alex originally studied the Bible to debunk "sincere Christians" and now he is using his knowledge to debunk the people who are "pretending to be Christian to get people to vote for their side". Alex O'Connor's recent interview with Jordan Peterson was extremely embarrassing for Jordan. And his interview with Richard Dawkins was good too.

This is a very painful belief to carry.

This reminds me of a quote by Byron Katie: "There are no new stressful thoughts. They're all recycled."

One of the best ways to get out of all of this blackpill and redpill stuff is to get off social media and go outside. Take a break from social media for a couple of months and read books instead, watch comedy TV, go out and have fun with people in your city etc. Most of the happy men and women in happy relationships do not have their face glued to their computer/phone/ipad.

This doesn't last forever. After awakening, every story about life begins to look like pure B.S. and lies. And it's not just the stories in people's minds when you socialize........ but even the stories in television shows/movies, fiction books, and autobiographies. All of human life just looks like pure nonsense. But then, if you are intentional about it and aren't choosing to float in a neo-advaita/nihilism lands forever, eventually you will begin to integrate everything. And you will be able to read fiction and autobiographies, watch TV/movies, socialize, and fully engage in life again.........it's not that the stories aren't B.S. anymore, they still are B.S. haha It's just that when you integrate everything, you can enjoy, play, create, and dance with the B.S and the lies. You begin to enjoy the lies. It becomes like a video game, in a sense. Some lies/stories even produce oxytocin and dopamine in the body. Those are my favorite. haha And that gets really fun to play with, even though you see through it as just a "happy dream".

Here is also a video that compares the two very well. Robert and Emily Perry's recent work in the Circle of Atonement is good stuff. They are deep, thorough thinkers but yet very open minded and loving.

Very well said.

Even if Trump is against it......the amount of MAGA supporters who were chanting approval for it, is mind blowing.