Rigel

Monday december 31st I took what my scale measured to be 13mg of 4-Aco-DMT and the experience was unlike anything I ever experienced in my entire life. I would consider this my first mystical experience. Now this isn't going to be a trip report I wrote one for myself the next day and I've been thinking about it for the past week. Contemplating what the fuck does this mean for my life. The reason I am writing this is because I freaked myself out. I remembre very little of it by now (In fact it cannot be remembered the way I usually thought of as remembering). But I know that what I saw was not a simple psychedelic experience and I had plenty of those. My ego came back stronger then ever and I am going through a backlash right now. I feel like I can't do it. Not because it is too much work or because I lack discipline or something like that but because I am afraid of going for it. I still have this intuition that it is the thing to do but I am feeling like I just can't do it. I don't really know why I am sharing this. Probably because nobody that I know would even begin to understand if I told them. Perhaps I just hope for a little bit of moral support.

Thank you very much . @Maya_0 I will do that.

I bought the life purpose course two days ago and I just finished watching and taking notes on the mastery part. There Leo says that you better pick on thing to master and focus on that. How does this fit in with enlightenment? In my mind enlightenment for now seems like a mastery process. But what if my life purpose is not that? What if it as to do with art? Should I just ignore enlightenment for now until I master my craft to a sufficient degree and then go for enlightenment?

@John Lula I already now want I want to master and I've been doing that without even knowing for the past year. But I don't know if I should pursue enlightenment as a side thing or wait till my life purpose is actualized and go full on enlightenment.

I am going to give this a shot thank you!

I read Being aware of being aware by Rupert Spira and since i've been trying to implement this stuff in my meditation practice the line between that and self-inquiry got blurred. When doing self-inquiry it's the question like "who am i" or "who is perceiving" that seems to grow some conscious traction but now when I meditate I focus on being aware and I feel like it's doing the same thing or it's headed in the same direction. Often I do both in one sitting. When I get tired of focusing on awareness I ask myself a question and it kinda keeps my awareness on the track. I heared Leo say in one of his video that meditation is not quite the same thing as self-inquiry and that self-inquiry is somehow more direct or more powerful. Maybe i'm doing self-inquiry the wrong way?

At the time i'm doing sessions of 30min and I have no particular difficulty on concentration. Of course my mind wonders off but not for significant amount of time. I'm always returning to the awareness. Would you suggest that I keep a more traditional "concentration" meditation where I focus on an object? I feel like it's not going very deep when I do that.

Name: Tristan Tremblay Age: 18 Gender: Male Location: Québec, Canada Occupation: Studying Jazz in College, Personal Developement Martial status: Single Kids: No Hobbies: I'm writing a tone of music and poetry. I got started with personal development in part because of pyschedelics and because of my love for art and beauty. When I was young I was pretty normal. I played video game most of my time, and I was hanging out with friends and family. I was doing a little bit of sport here and there and I had always an interest for music(I started to play guitar at like 10 years old as a little hobby). During my last year of high school I did like everybody else: I got involved in partying, getting drunk and smoking weed every weekend. Fortunately I stumbled upon psychedelics about 1year ago. I did my first mushroom trip and I was just blown away. It opened my mind to the beauty of this thing we call reality and my interest for art and music just sky rocketed. I was getting more and more involved with my study of jazz and was practicing a LOT(I still do ahah). At the same time I was researching the shit out of every psychedelic substances. I was reading trip report, watching videos on youtube about it, doing it myself a couple more times until I stumbled upon Leo's videos on the subject during my research time. I gradually got more and more interested in what he was talking about. Now I have made the commitment to the path and I do mostly two things: Personal Developement/Spirituality and doing all the practice and art with my music education stuff.(I also like to go for a walk in nature quite often) Personal challenges I've overcome: I quit drinking and partying completely. I got a meditation habit in place. I got a Yoga practice in place. My resistance to practicing my domain of mastery as drastically reduced. I cleaned up my diet enormously(Became vegan and stoped eating refined food). Things I'm working on: I'm working a lot on my life purpose. I'm trying to be more honest and authentic. I'm trying to wake up earlier to get more shit done during the day. I'm working on mindfulness and being more conscious of the beauty at all time.

I would also like to have feedback on that. I struggle with it too.

Becoming vegan was a big one for me in the realm of opening my heart. At first (maybe 8months ago) I stoped eating meat from a purely belief based stand point but a lot of resistance from the people surrounding me made me rethink and contemplate why I was doing it and I saw quite clearly that by that point I would be disgusted by animal products altogether. I would (and i still do) feel this compassion/love for living creatures and for the environnement. That and also magic mushrooms where also huge in giving me a taste of love beyond what I ever though was possible.❤️ I would consider myself mostly green with a bunch of orange still left over.

I highly recommend this book if you need some motivation to practice whatever you practice and to get in touch with the love, the joy and the passion of it. It gives you the mindsets that you need to really make some progress in your craft and it stress' the fact that you need to love the journey and the practice itself. I read about half of the book earlier and I got so inspired that I just stopped reading and went straight to my guitar for like 2hours of laser focused practice before finishing it. And I think this is foundational if you are on the path of mastery for enlightenment or for any passion or skill that you are pursuing.

My mind wants to jump immediately to c).

I have quite a few mushrooms experience under my belt and I feel like I want to try 4-AcO-DMT(It's legal in my country so it's a lot easier to put my hand on it). I was wondering how the two compare.

I thought it was pretty interesting.

Lately I've noticed that my meditation just sedates me. I'm doing 40min every day plus 2-3 times 10min of kryia yoga every day. No problem from the yoga but after I meditate I feel unmotivated to dive into my musical practice(I'm studying jazz in college so I practice 3-4+ hours every day). I feel like I just want to go to sleep it's not unusual for me take a nap right after meditating. I was wondering if switching meditation technique would be a good idea or if anyone as tips to wake myself up. (I'm basically doing the focusing on awareness itself that Leo explained in one of his videos at the time).

I started kryia 3 days ago now and it struck me how flimsy and weak my determination was with these practices. I'm still on the first preparatory lesson in the book of the book list and it baffles me how much just learning to sit properly demands discipline. I kinda got hit by the enormity of the task were up with here. It motivates me a lot and I look foreword to digging deeper into Kryia.

He talks about psychedelics in general not just weed. Also there is two other parts to it. I am very interested in seeing your thoughts about it.