kateaa

@okulele have you checked out hridaya yoga center in mexico? they are following the non duality path. I was thinking of pa auk forest monastery in myanmar, it's the theravada buddhism.

I think it's not about money. You can try to make a living and make your life a long lasting holiday. That's what we all want, because that's where we are the most happy. You don't have to be the richest or poorest, the balance is the key word. But do the things that take you in the flow state.

@okulele I contacted Sat yoga ashram once, but never went. I know the forest temple in thailand. Also i heard that there's one in burma. There you can stay as long as you want to which also allows you to get back to the society. Thinking of going to one maybe in thailand or burma. l

@okulele You're already doing well. Remember that the path is not easy, it's hard. I can understand what you're going through and you have a lot of courage. So keep doing what feels right to you. Sometimes it can be hard. Remember that we all are still living in the so called collective ego, which we cannot escape from. So if you want to go and stay in ashrams for years, do it. It might be very meaningful for you. The world always has a place for little human haha.. I also can relate to what you're going through, cause when I was younger I also thought that I would have a degree and get job and save the world, but I realized that I had to save myself before and then other. I went traveling for a long while and it opened my eyes, but i thought it was time to come back and do some studies, but I quit the university and thought it was just blablabla, I was searching for the real meaning of life. I have asked myself many times why I could not just get a normal degree, be a good citizen , have family and die. I guess we are on a treasurehunt here. I sometimes feel the pressure of the society, it tells you to be like this, like that, have this or that. There's the pressure because most of people are still living in the materialistic world, especially with the 1st world. Get a degree or learn something is always good if you really find meaning in it and can use it. Now I am working on to becoming selfsustain or having my own "job" in the future and do what I love and that I can share that with the community in a sustainable way. Money doesn't matter afterall. I don't know how it is in your country, but in my country people can always apply for a study if they want to change the direction in life. So that's a good thing. I have also been thinking of going to stay in ashram or forest temple for sometimes. Which one are you thinking about? there are so many nice places. Sometimes there are doubts, but you will always evolve. Most of the people are living in fear and never see the light. You have to see the light, live it and free yourself from the illusion.

@Amine I have hear about this dark room practice before. Mantak Chia, the taoist master tells about it and also the shamans do it. The one I feel drawn to is the shamanic way of doing it, they call it the master plant diet, by comsuming "pure" food(sattvic or whatever you would call it), plant medicines, and stay alone in the jungle for days or months, no communication etc. Imagine the jungle full of animals and creatures, I think there's a lot to learn there. Still now I am sometimes a bit afraid of the dark, but I embracing it and learning to trust. I have seen many many things there. It would be nice to learn how to connect with the inner animal instinct and be comfortable with that. Pam Montgomery in Plant spirit healing wrote one chapter about how to navigate ourselves and trust ourselves in the dark, we can gain so much insight. Mantak chia also does the darkroom retreats and does the workshop about the experience of the darkroom etc.

It's a great book to read and learn from. It's based on tibetan buddhism and also buddhism in general. Four Noble Truths—the foundational Buddhist teaching about the origin of suffering and its cessation—emphasizes their profound relevance not just as an inspiration when we set out on the path, but at every other moment of our lives as well, showing how we can join view (intellectual understanding) of the teaching with practical application in order to interrupt suffering before it arises. It's very systematical and easy to read. He talks about the whole process, from regconizing the origin of the suffering to enlightenment experience and how to maintain the "enlightenment". I am not a buddhist, but I think he's got something here.

Just wanted to hear if any of you have had ego death and so how deep was it and how was it for you? How deep should it get before you can surrender completely? Even with enlightenment experiences. I guess that there are some degrees of enlightenment. I have had a call many times in my life where I would like to drop everything(the life as i know it) and just be. As I know that everything else is distraction Last night I got a message in my dream: "you forget to live because you are afriad of death"

@lmfao maybe best to try to do exercises like breathing techniques, running, walking, yoga etc. That would help to calm the nerves. Also grounding, by walking barefeet, even playing with a pet!

@astrokeenthanks, i'll check that out. There are small branches of Aya, how people do ceremonies are different. I was fortunate to do that in the jungle environment, which also made a lot of difference since that's where the plant medicine is from. I guess it's like when you first start to meditate and you don't really understand why you are meditating or what's all about. The same goes with ayahuasca. Things become more easier when you practice it. Now I combine both meditation and the plant medicine practice. It was with friends(guides), whom are working with the plants and have been recieving the teachings from the plants for many years. So the group and environment are very important i guess. I would never participate in a ceremony with more then 10 persons. Santo daime in Amsterdam has a gathering every year? I am close to the netherlands..

I have been working with ayahuasca before, the last time was about 6 months ago. I have had very profund experiences with it and had a glimps of what reality is like. It was like coming back home for the first time. Yes, with ayahuasca you can still "experience" the brahma or the absolute...but it can take some times and you have to surrender to what is. I am so grateful and now I am trying to intergrate it in my daily life. I have not done 5 meo-dmt or the toad but I guess that it's very intense aswell. During the ayahuasca ceromonies I had a lot of spiritual purges, and cleared the blokages in my body. During those days, at some point it felt like the ego or the self was becoming smaller and smaller and i felt very clean and clear. Before this, I have been using vipassana meditation technique for about 2 years and so when I had my first ceremony, it just went straight to the point. Personally I feel the benefits of ayahuasca and also because i have learned to observe more rather than react. Ayahuasca helped me to see the small blind spots rather than skipping them and I had more time to work with some areas and problems. Personally I can still feel the ayahuasca medicine inside, wheras I have been purging in dreams and seen some visions as if I was at a ceremony. Very clear sights and real. My eyes are not what they used to be. Since I am living in the society, I still have to deal with the mundane life and the ego has to make decisions which is sometimes difficult. Maybe one day I will have an opportunity and will to do 5-meo dmt, but still..i am not sure of it yet. So for those who have done 5 meo-dmt, do you integrate what you have experienced in daily life and does it have any effects after you have been working with it? How much do you take back to your normal daily life? I guess that the intergration fase is very important if you are serious about it