from chaos into self

Is everything appearance ? What is Truth?

Perhaps it is mind. Perhaps it is soul. We cannot truly know what it is.

It proves that an object is there to run into. What that object and that collision is made of? Mystery. We can’t prove anything of that.

I could meditate on that exactly. To let go of the stories.

Could you elaborate? Can you elaborate?

No. I’ve been battling depression for awhile. I’m always lacking motivation and I’m unhappy. When I meditate I find a deeper peace. I’m trying to practice that peace in day to day life. I just don’t understand how so many people can believe they are eternal yet return to their limited daily life. Life is mundane, not eternal. If eternity exists, separation surely exists as well.

Because that would be perverse. To think I am god? I am no more than what I am. And I’m clearly separate from the rest of existence. I could accept non-dual views if they allowed me to be separate because I’m clearly separate. I don’t know how so many people find non-dual beliefs. Surely other people have what I have? Because it’s clearly separate. That’s the one thing I’m sure of. it is in the same place I am. No where. I exist separate from time and space. That is where consciousness lies, no where. Otherwise, science tells us we are kept in our brain, but I can only assume that is true. I can’t prove it to be true. That is the limit of our existence. Our existence is separate from any physical world. It is no where. What do you mean? what do you mean? true. especially the silky smooth liquid consciousness. I want effortless being.

If that is all there is then I’ve already had an awakening. I just need to practice..... it.... thanks for all the responses guys

If I’m everything then I’m separate. Because I’m not everything now. I’m consciously separated from others’ experiences. I simply don’t experience you or anyone. Maybe it is such that separation is a part of everything, but that separation is there. Even if the universe is non-dual, there is separation. I’ve heard it say that it is waves on the ocean, but I don’t feel that really acknowledges my being here now in this life I’m experiencing. I imagine the wave is not conscious it’s a wave. And the wave is an extension of the ocean, but this separation I am is cut off from ‘the ocean’ of this supposed non-dual being. Yet it is here. Why is it Here? This life is a nobody. I’m not special yet my awareness is unique, my being Here Now is unique. The fact that I’m Here Now makes me separate from the greater universe.

That I is self doubt. It exists as it is. It is not the absolute I That is everpresent. But it still definitely exists. Feelings. Feelings are real. They are a part of the broader me that is experienced.

The psychology that changed is not the I that witnesses it.

I have this awareness that I see and not others and I don’t see others’. I experience, I observe, and it’s separate from other’s experiences and observing. I didn’t have this belief when I was young because I was unaware that I had it. I had it then tho. But I’ve been curious about it ever since high school. I don’t make sense that I am here. And don’t be mistaken that I identify with this. I am that which observes and experiences. It’s hard to point to what I am with language because anything I can point to is not what i is me. But there is an intangible presence that observed and experiences and witnessed everything that appears to be mine. @Nahm “what is that I? What is that it? How is one accepting the other?” The I I referred to is the identity that I do have. It needs to accept what’s happening. I don’t mean to say I identify as that I. You need language to talk after all. But now I think about it, I do identify to some degree with that self. With more meditation, the I That is unspeakable can be separate from that identity. I don’t intend to identify with it. What I want to know is why this unspeakable I is here where I am, more when I am. Why do I have it? Why am I separate from others? Why do I exist? Am I special? Because it feels like I’m special. I can’t express what I mean though. I’m not upset that I have awareness separate from others. I’m worried that what I have might be unique to me and not to others. And I’m upset because I’m suffering. I don’t want this awareness right now in my life. I want unawareness, I want to be blind to my experience. I don’t need to be here now for that to happen. I don’t need this level of awareness to do that. I don’t need to be here now for here and now to happen. Why am I Here Now? Why am I special? Are others like this? I think they are not. I can’t ever know such a thing though.

I guess i just have to accept it as it is

An alluring tale! I can’t believe it! Too bad I’ll probably not get deep enough to experience something like it.

This makes sense

And it separates.

It is required to hold belief to describe reality. That’s the thing. You have to be able to step away from the non-dual. So reality necessarily is not non-dual. Even if it is actually non-dual there must be separation possible.

Enlightenment is transcending the ego. The physical world “exists” to some degree but what it is is mysterious inherently. Why would reality be simple to explain? Especially when measuring the smallest particles biases the experiment. Ultimately enlightenment is a trick of the mind but it’s ok because transcending the ego is healthy. But existence is not truly non-dual. Physics is good at describing reality’s behavior but bad at explaining what reality is. For all we know, reality is made of nothing and the laws of nature are accidents that force reality to behave consistently. But nonetheless, reality is not non-dual. Because I am not you. And I cannot become you. But nonetheless imagining consciousness as an ever-present thing aligns with what it really is. After all, all our experience lies in consciousness. Perhaps consciousness is an inherent trait of existence. Perhaps it arises from matter with intelligence. I think it is. After all human intelligence is just the ability to hold complex narratives in mind. If mind arises from matter, it is only natural that intelligence arises with it. And likewise natural that awareness is all we have to prove or disprove the world.

All I am is presence. But I’m here, individually, this experience.

Rupert Spira said “Be aware of simply being. Ask yourself, what is it that is aware of my being? What is it that knows that I am? Your own Being is know by itself. It is not an experience at all it is recognition alone “ am I being? Is that what I am? Or should I neti neti that?

Whether or not “reality” is dual or non-dual, all we have “to observe” it is _________ - I think consciousness works fine, or being.

No, I’d like to. I want to see for myself what all the hype is about.

I don’t think insanity is the result of inconsistency. My perceptions about reality warp it, they are inconsistent. But reality rears its ugly head and takes me back to its consistency. Change of imagination is impermanent.

Leo stated in his video about actualized.org that he wanted to provide content free of beliefs. I made no such claim. I know I argue from a stance of belief. I’m curious what the response is. I want to discover what I’m not thinking about through conversation. But Leo offers advice he says requires no belief to follow. It’s a contradiction.

this is a belief. You had a trip and thought it was reality.