Javfly33

Member
  • Content count

    7,595
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Everything posted by Javfly33

  1. If you are in Europe you can send a sample to analize at https://energycontrol-international.org/drug-testing-service/ That way you'll definitely know if you have 5-Meo-DMT for sure.
  2. So here´s the deal. Writing this lines I am being consciouss on how radical this is but this is what I am discovering: -My identity, my person, it seems it just it´s a form, a representation of the "whole", call it consciousness, call it "oneness", call it "reality". From this point of view, I can see now why everything in my life has happened. Or in other words, I don´t care why anything in my life has happened by x or y reason. Since i started self-development I was obssesed in discovering why I have been "like this" and since started spirituality, apart from achieving that what they call "true liberation" i was hoping also it would answer some "questions" about "myself". But results are not going as I expected. I am seeing the "importance" of consciousness that my "identity" has, no different that the importance of consciousness that my coffee table or matress has. From this viewing, is not that I don´t want to ask for "answers", its that I see that asking for answers is meaningless the same that if I ask for answers for the universe why the coffee table has 2 trillion atoms instead of 2.1trillion atoms. I know below some teachings this could be view as "low self-esteem", because Humans are supposed to have "tremendous value" inside them, but I don´t see this in a negative way. I just have meditating very fucking deep lately and I open my eyes, I get consciouss of me, and I just see something moving. Nothing else. Like a car is moving. Is it bad to don´t see much difference between yourself and a car? Now...what is the next step? It seems I should just let go of everything. Just live. Hoping each day I will be more tuned with the truth during more time during the day. But at the same time it´s seems it consciouness its still identied with the person its because the person need to develop itself more. But I don´t undertand why yet. Or Should I just shut Up and maybe just keep practising more? Anyway, sorry if this is not a very "enlightning" post, I don´t know any persons who do this kind of practice and sometimes I just need to share this stuff to not feel that alone in this "path".
  3. This is what I call mania+ego-inflation by being obssesively focused in anything for a lot of amount of time lol Nah, now seriously...I want to believe you but...what happens if you go distracted for a long time into anything (work, etc) you think will be still awake when you go back to your practice?
  4. Why he doesn´t retire to a cabinet to go meditate/yoga/psychedelics for ever? I don´t mean this question in a negative way/attack, I ask purely because of true curiosity. In fact I guess it´s because he must have reached a point of quite the balanced-life where although not fully enlightened his ego is very stable, yet the "need" of awaken 100% is not such a need like in others. I´m just saying this because if I had enough money saved to have food for the lets say, next 20 years (and purely not a single more expense), I mean there´s no need even to be worried about enlightement or not. As long as your only time you spend it meditating and doing yoga, you are already in the "zone". At least that is my experience. I might have bad days of pracitce but overall I know that if somebody would give a plate of food each day withouth me doing anything, I´ll be just doing yoga 24/7 and I would be in a state of neutral peace lol. Why worry about getting total enlightment since i wouldn´t have to go back to the ego/goals/survival/fear world! You get my point? The only reason why people have awakening experiences and then go back to ego state of mind is because in fact, their lives are still planned to go back to that kind of world after doing whatever retreat/practice they planned to do. For me this is common sense but maybe some disagree... I am waiting for your answers. Today I have been all day planning about how can I start saving money and search/build some sustainable housing in order to accomplish something like this. Once I don´t need to worry about food and housing, I´m going full 100% into the consciouss practice. I don´t even care about light/heating. I plan to build the house in an all-year warm type of place lol
  5. With "nocturnal emissions" the blue balls syndrome is not a problem. In fact I even did a 100day nofap with peeking a lot into porn and I only had blue balls twice I can recall. If you don´t even look at porn or fantasize in any way, blue balls don´t exist.
  6. ...Despite being liberating the mind always go backs to delusion, why I can´t submit to truth if its beatiful? It is because it´s so radical? Do you think some people will never submit despite having endless insights and awakenings? Until not long ago (2 months maybe) I was still skeptick about spirituality. Why? All "altered states" of consciousness I have experienced them on drugs . So while they might have been pretty strong, I wasn´t sure it was just a game of the drugs. But then about 2-3 months ago my mindfulness practice keep getting stronger and easier. And I had a self-inquiry/meditation/liberation during an hour which was totally sober and it was as strong as my non-dual experience on a empathogenic drug I had 3 months before. And then 2 weeks ago I had a semi-ego death while in sarvangasana position in Kundalini Yoga. And yesterday I fucking got a insight while i was watching youtube. This insight was related to total submission to the present moment. It was so strong and particularly because it hit me OUT OF NOWWHERE, I thought I was going to stay "there" all the time (in the realization of that insight). Hear me out, this didn´t happen after a meditation session. As a matter of fact, it was a pretty shitty day (hangover) but during the day I felt something "lighter" was trying to get "even more lighter" while I was complaining the whole day (sorry if this doesn´t make sense). The thing is, after a couple of minutes then of course I "got back" and hour later I was again stuck in the mind. While it happened though, I was sure I was going to retain that insight because it made perfect sense. It was kind of a liberating insight on a trip, but then you came back to harsh reality (your mind go back to the patterns of always). I thought if this happened to you sober, it would stay with you more. But I don´t know anymore. After I have this moments coming back to the dictatorship of the mind feels like the worst crash on mdma lol. This stuff is so frustrating. But at the same time I kind of get it, realizing the truth for ever would be total paradise and the game would end. I guess the ego wants to keep playing because he thinks it can win on his terms.
  7. Although I´ve been experimenting with similar mind-altering substances lately (Dissociatives mainly), It´s been a while since I don´t trip on a classic psychedelic headspace, and the opportunity has come up to try 5-Meo-DMT for the first time this summer in a safe environment. My question is, should I "refresh" myself doing a trip to prepare for the 5-Meo-DMT mentally, or is it really not necessary and If I feel prepared I should just go. I´m having trouble discerning if this "feeling prepared" might be deluded, since I think 2 years since I am not tripping hard. Something tells me that whatever I imagine the experience is going to go, it is going to hit me 1000x stronger lol, although on other hand, there´s people with no psychedelic experience that go do 5-Meo and their experiences are fine. What you think?
  8. Lol. Please do some research before you end up causing yourself diabetes. (and cause other people here because of your misleading information). There is proof, scientific evidence included if anecdotical is not enough for you, that certain foods can be worse/better than others, no matter how much calories or if they are the same calories. Hell, even if you are minim self-consciouss of your body you see almost inmediately how your body reacts to eating a whole bunch of pasta vs eating "clean" like (yes, broccoli) or fruit. However, I agree with you in that there is a lot of bullshit over the internet (gurus as you said) catalogizing certain foods as totally bad or totally good. If you feel the same eating for a whole month pizzas and etc vs eating "clean", well great for you. You must have a magnificient metabolism. However me I can´t go more than 2 days eating shit or I´ll start noticing increase in anxiety, can´t sit to meditate, stomach unestability, craving for stimulants...etc.
  9. Not really. As you became more consciouss inevitably dating is something that you see more and more superficial. This is not to be confused with meeting people and women. I mean dating by the sake of it.
  10. Woah dude! Stop a second right there. I´ve been there, right where you are. This is a classic trap when starting to pick-up. The mind will always give away distractions and brutal self-discovery limitations to you when you start doing this kind of "out-of the comfort zone" practices. Do not fall into this trap of the mind: 1. Continue trying to grow up 2. Be proud, very proud of yourself and self-assured that you are in a better place than before starting. This doesn´t mean that a lot of things that you are saying can be true and you have limitating beliefs/issues/fears, but if you pay too much attention to that it will be impossible to keep growing because the seeing of all those "Problems" will burn you out emotionally and it will seeem an unapproachble challenge.
  11. AS a son of a heroin addict for more than 30 years now, this is disrespectful. Nah, not really since I don´t really care. But if i would be a heroin probably I would be pissed if you compare the two. And I say this and I consider myself I am addicted to porn. But for very bad that you feel after you use porn or what it does to you, you really can´t compare it to such a debilitating in the soul addiction like heroin. If you want advice to quit porn, you need to realize you are using porn for the high/dopamine and not because you are horny. If you want more advice just ask me. I am still consider I am "somewhat" addicted to porn but now it feels more I choose when to use it rather than in the past that I felt totally like a victim.
  12. The drug doesn´t affect you more, but rather if you have had spiritual experiences in the past is way, way more probable that you´ll get an spiritual experience in the trip.
  13. Please explain in detail what you mean with "taking action"? I read your message and for me it doesn´t make much sense what you are saying. But maybe I´m interpreting you differently than what you meant.
  14. The sense does it really prove anything? I would say the "ego" exists as in a dream the one who is dreaming exist. Inside the world of the distorded perception, yes, it exist. But since you can tune into other perception which in that the ego doesn´t exist, we say the ego doesnt exist. Since most people who get into this perception say it feels more accurate, then we pick the last perception to decide what is alive and what not
  15. Well I´m not sure if his songs are usually about spiritual truth but his vibe is definetely holistic-dreamy-psychedelic anyway what im saying im just projecting my mindimagination into his image
  16. Maybe he meant some Kratom or something. I've used Kratom red come down stimulant psychs and it's pretty good to take the edge off and get out that "brain fried" sense after tripping lol But anyway what is a dealer giving this kind of advice to the customers lol
  17. I was already in the "relaxation" phase. I think the mix between totally relaxing and letting go of the body, and the empty mind that I got after doing the previous exercises, is why everything exploded so easily. I wasn't expecting at all lol! The serie/asanas I did was a "Sat Krista" series, which consisted of doing 1 Sat Kriya, doing 3 minutes of relaxation, and then 4x repetitions of alternating 3 minutes of Sat Kriya with Malasana, without RELAXATION (Sat Kriya is tremendously exhausting stressing + Malasana charges up your legs so much, that if you maintain humility during the exercises then there is this acceptance/energy building up that gets very intense and that is why I think also it happened to me during this particular series) I don't know why but I always thought Sat Kriya exercise to be such a total mindfuvk and stressful exercise than I knew there was something powerful about this Kriya lol. Although it could have been all the work I've done previously tbh ) is all the same thing anyways. I haven't done a very regular practice with yoga. Started 1 Year ago but I have been veeey irregular and it was just 5 days ago that I started doing each day, and doing it very serious. But, I have been doing lot of self-inquiry this last year, having some "breakthroughs" and doing a lot of acceptance of present moment. It all builds up and it's interconnected, so you don't have to worry about maybe quitting meditation for some time if you are still putting the work on just who the hell you are or you are passionate about discovering what is this reality and use proved tools to try discover it. For me since I have been watching so much my "I", a tremendous curiosity arised me about who is this that is talking, about self control etc.
  18. First of all, love to everybody. Second, my apologies to the universe for thinking in the past that Yoga was "hyped" and the stuff is too distracting/complex to actually focus on the present moment/empty mind. Today I got my ass kicked by "Everythiness". To anyone wondering "how serious Yoga can get" remember this post. I have done some psychedelics in the past, and I was wondering what "ego death" meant when people talked about it. I got spiritual spiritual experiences of them, "loss of self" (of so I thought). But nothing as direct and brutal as what happened today in my yoga blanket. (please note that I haven´t done big doses of psychs and much of the times the intention wasn´t spiritual so that could explain it, so I´m not saying psychedelics aren´t strong as fuck, which they are, and of course in ratio of probabilty much,much more probable you´ll get a experience of this on a drug if you want to bet) But just saying, Yoga is nooot bullshit Anyway, there´s nothing much to say. I´m just thrilled that just 15 minutes ago I became consciouss of something bigger than me which, actually, is not separated a single mm from me. Note: Also, from today I will respect doing psychedelics in the future with more careful. About 3 minutes before "escaping" from the experience (so I calculate that the actual "getting into real ego death" lasted actually 3 minutes), I got a heart pounding like crazy. I guess that meant that ego (me) was scared. Not really sure since thoughts were there but there wasn´t anyone there to "reclaim" them. Emotions was just body sensations that also couldn´t be correctly identified. But since I (this is I is ego) got up from the blanket to get to the "self again"( this is god ), I feel there was fear in there. If it had happened taking a psychedelic, well, you can´t escape that moment so easily i think (which is actually the bad thing about "sober techniques")
  19. First of all, I have posted this self-development but this could be moved to Spirituality. I am really not sure since It involves both. ISo far this week i´ve been fascinated by the "discovery" i´ve had about my "problem" which i´ve created and maintining pretty much all my life about anxiety and fear and comparing with others. While this discovery haven´t removed my anxiety or social comparison AT ALL YET, now I enjoy a total lack of confusion regarding why I feel particularly x way with social situations or with certain people. Since I started being honest with myself doing self-development something that would make me nuts was that I could see myself being not authentic in certain social situations (pretty much all except some people which I am very confident with) but I couln´t really know WHY! WHY! WHY! This went on for years. No matter how much meditation, and read I did, it was all words. But I keept doing the practice and some big, big insight happened last week. Now I am perfectly clear why. This might not apply to everyone but in case someone could apply this: It´s because whatever it is arising from you, you are comparing the value of that arising awareness (in the form of thought, idea, actiion) with the opinion, validation, value...etc of the other person. In my case I have drawned the conclusion that in the person which I prioritize his opinion about my arising awareness, is because that person I believe has more value than me. Now, this is just words or it could be put in other words sure, but the hard fact is again, you are comparing the value of your arising awareness (in the form of thought, idea, action) with the opinion, validation, value...etc of the other person. This is absolutely ridiculous, since the one who is apparent living this life IS...ME! I became consciouss about how the one who is living this life was ME! ME! again...ME! And I started seeing how this could be the final liberation but also how scary this is. This means that you don´t have anything to grab on if you truly embrace this. Everything that comes within you will be everything that it is. And I want to embrace this because this seems truth. Total responsability about myself feels truth. But also total isolation feels scary. I can´t see how I can take this big step. Please I need advice in this. I am not asking for validation (this should be such an irony!) but rather about knowledge about common traps regarding one/others in the spiritual journey. Each time I feel like I am going "outhere in my mind" to compare myself with others, I just become aware of my chest and say to myself "stay. stay. stay where you are always have been". This feels like something bigger is awakening. Is getting lighter. Not enlightment but rather the sober truth that I am pure if I stay where I am. What is the next step? How to accept embrace this radical truth. Should I do more Yoga? ------------------- One last note, dont confuse this with dangerous deshinibtion. I mean, for example shitting on the middle of the street or throwing a rock to a police car, that I do not have to compare with the people on the street or the police men, in that situation, the thought coming from my awareness already have included the dangers of going to jail if I do the latter for example. In contrast to most people think, authenticity is always ready no matter how "dependent" you might have been of other´s people of opinion. Because whatever arises from within you is authenticity. If in that moment it goes with a comparison with the other people´s judgement, is probably because in that case the judgement is pretty much important, for example going to jail. Is it when the comparison with the other people´s comes AFTER your espontaneous creation (idea, thought, etc), that you should be suspicious of. What you are comparing with? If you really are one and unique in your awareness... That is my question. SORRY FOR THE LONG POST . I HOPE THIS CAN HELP PEOPLE TOO that might be struggling with type of minds.
  20. Maybe this is a "minor issue" but I wanted to do thread because it seems NOBODY talks about this and it surprises me to say the least. ---- So last Sunday I had a big insight about me as a person. This insight has got me pretty "traumatized". Not in a bad way but in a way that I haven't been able to do any work this week (I do freelance part-time/ studying part-time) even though I'm pretty left behind in my schedule, and I know my career now is a top priority, when I have this type of weeks, for example also when I do psychedelics too happens to me, I just can't put myself to shut my mind up and give energy into work when I see how much stuff going on in my inside is so much important. Let's not even talk about spiritual stuff, because that can get even more draining if really gets real and serious. So far spiritual and self development work is making working on my career a lot more difficult, although I'm sure it will be worth it, I would have appreciated if someone has warned me about this. Dont you guys feel the same?