Javfly33

I was already in the "relaxation" phase. I think the mix between totally relaxing and letting go of the body, and the empty mind that I got after doing the previous exercises, is why everything exploded so easily. I wasn't expecting at all lol! The serie/asanas I did was a "Sat Krista" series, which consisted of doing 1 Sat Kriya, doing 3 minutes of relaxation, and then 4x repetitions of alternating 3 minutes of Sat Kriya with Malasana, without RELAXATION (Sat Kriya is tremendously exhausting stressing + Malasana charges up your legs so much, that if you maintain humility during the exercises then there is this acceptance/energy building up that gets very intense and that is why I think also it happened to me during this particular series) I don't know why but I always thought Sat Kriya exercise to be such a total mindfuvk and stressful exercise than I knew there was something powerful about this Kriya lol. Although it could have been all the work I've done previously tbh ) is all the same thing anyways. I haven't done a very regular practice with yoga. Started 1 Year ago but I have been veeey irregular and it was just 5 days ago that I started doing each day, and doing it very serious. But, I have been doing lot of self-inquiry this last year, having some "breakthroughs" and doing a lot of acceptance of present moment. It all builds up and it's interconnected, so you don't have to worry about maybe quitting meditation for some time if you are still putting the work on just who the hell you are or you are passionate about discovering what is this reality and use proved tools to try discover it. For me since I have been watching so much my "I", a tremendous curiosity arised me about who is this that is talking, about self control etc.

First of all, love to everybody. Second, my apologies to the universe for thinking in the past that Yoga was "hyped" and the stuff is too distracting/complex to actually focus on the present moment/empty mind. Today I got my ass kicked by "Everythiness". To anyone wondering "how serious Yoga can get" remember this post. I have done some psychedelics in the past, and I was wondering what "ego death" meant when people talked about it. I got spiritual spiritual experiences of them, "loss of self" (of so I thought). But nothing as direct and brutal as what happened today in my yoga blanket. (please note that I haven´t done big doses of psychs and much of the times the intention wasn´t spiritual so that could explain it, so I´m not saying psychedelics aren´t strong as fuck, which they are, and of course in ratio of probabilty much,much more probable you´ll get a experience of this on a drug if you want to bet) But just saying, Yoga is nooot bullshit Anyway, there´s nothing much to say. I´m just thrilled that just 15 minutes ago I became consciouss of something bigger than me which, actually, is not separated a single mm from me. Note: Also, from today I will respect doing psychedelics in the future with more careful. About 3 minutes before "escaping" from the experience (so I calculate that the actual "getting into real ego death" lasted actually 3 minutes), I got a heart pounding like crazy. I guess that meant that ego (me) was scared. Not really sure since thoughts were there but there wasn´t anyone there to "reclaim" them. Emotions was just body sensations that also couldn´t be correctly identified. But since I (this is I is ego) got up from the blanket to get to the "self again"( this is god ), I feel there was fear in there. If it had happened taking a psychedelic, well, you can´t escape that moment so easily i think (which is actually the bad thing about "sober techniques")

First of all, I have posted this self-development but this could be moved to Spirituality. I am really not sure since It involves both. ISo far this week i´ve been fascinated by the "discovery" i´ve had about my "problem" which i´ve created and maintining pretty much all my life about anxiety and fear and comparing with others. While this discovery haven´t removed my anxiety or social comparison AT ALL YET, now I enjoy a total lack of confusion regarding why I feel particularly x way with social situations or with certain people. Since I started being honest with myself doing self-development something that would make me nuts was that I could see myself being not authentic in certain social situations (pretty much all except some people which I am very confident with) but I couln´t really know WHY! WHY! WHY! This went on for years. No matter how much meditation, and read I did, it was all words. But I keept doing the practice and some big, big insight happened last week. Now I am perfectly clear why. This might not apply to everyone but in case someone could apply this: It´s because whatever it is arising from you, you are comparing the value of that arising awareness (in the form of thought, idea, actiion) with the opinion, validation, value...etc of the other person. In my case I have drawned the conclusion that in the person which I prioritize his opinion about my arising awareness, is because that person I believe has more value than me. Now, this is just words or it could be put in other words sure, but the hard fact is again, you are comparing the value of your arising awareness (in the form of thought, idea, action) with the opinion, validation, value...etc of the other person. This is absolutely ridiculous, since the one who is apparent living this life IS...ME! I became consciouss about how the one who is living this life was ME! ME! again...ME! And I started seeing how this could be the final liberation but also how scary this is. This means that you don´t have anything to grab on if you truly embrace this. Everything that comes within you will be everything that it is. And I want to embrace this because this seems truth. Total responsability about myself feels truth. But also total isolation feels scary. I can´t see how I can take this big step. Please I need advice in this. I am not asking for validation (this should be such an irony!) but rather about knowledge about common traps regarding one/others in the spiritual journey. Each time I feel like I am going "outhere in my mind" to compare myself with others, I just become aware of my chest and say to myself "stay. stay. stay where you are always have been". This feels like something bigger is awakening. Is getting lighter. Not enlightment but rather the sober truth that I am pure if I stay where I am. What is the next step? How to accept embrace this radical truth. Should I do more Yoga? ------------------- One last note, dont confuse this with dangerous deshinibtion. I mean, for example shitting on the middle of the street or throwing a rock to a police car, that I do not have to compare with the people on the street or the police men, in that situation, the thought coming from my awareness already have included the dangers of going to jail if I do the latter for example. In contrast to most people think, authenticity is always ready no matter how "dependent" you might have been of other´s people of opinion. Because whatever arises from within you is authenticity. If in that moment it goes with a comparison with the other people´s judgement, is probably because in that case the judgement is pretty much important, for example going to jail. Is it when the comparison with the other people´s comes AFTER your espontaneous creation (idea, thought, etc), that you should be suspicious of. What you are comparing with? If you really are one and unique in your awareness... That is my question. SORRY FOR THE LONG POST . I HOPE THIS CAN HELP PEOPLE TOO that might be struggling with type of minds.

Maybe this is a "minor issue" but I wanted to do thread because it seems NOBODY talks about this and it surprises me to say the least. ---- So last Sunday I had a big insight about me as a person. This insight has got me pretty "traumatized". Not in a bad way but in a way that I haven't been able to do any work this week (I do freelance part-time/ studying part-time) even though I'm pretty left behind in my schedule, and I know my career now is a top priority, when I have this type of weeks, for example also when I do psychedelics too happens to me, I just can't put myself to shut my mind up and give energy into work when I see how much stuff going on in my inside is so much important. Let's not even talk about spiritual stuff, because that can get even more draining if really gets real and serious. So far spiritual and self development work is making working on my career a lot more difficult, although I'm sure it will be worth it, I would have appreciated if someone has warned me about this. Dont you guys feel the same?

Do you have any source to read? Pretty interested in this. I´ve trying to forget about porn doing Nofap, and modified styles of nofap, but my "style" of masturbation is too conditioned to "the porn way".

So this is not about spiritual awakening, although in importance about my life, it did feel like one. The last 2 hours of my life have been similar to being in a small dose of the better instrospective psychedelic drug posible. It seems funny that this has ocurred to me totally sober. Now as I´m writing this it feels that I´m coming to "baseline" but I do not want to forget this. Just being observant and consciouss during the whole day which has consisted on seeing myself undervalue me over certain people, have made 2 hours ago realized, this cristal clear eyes that...I fucking value myself less than certain people (maybe 90%) and I DO IT MYSELF!! I have done it all my life!. iF YOU ever wonder why you are not authentic, it´s because just when you are stepping up into saying or doing anything, there´s a "you" inside that is comparing what is being born within you (a word, a phrase, an idea, an action etc) against the thing that you value more than you. I´m not sure if this kind of posts are allowed here, but this post is just to motivate people who might be struggling with this kind of issues, issues that seem to always be around your whole life. You do all this kind of practices and techniques, but it seems it´s all bullshit because you can only get REALLY rid of your anxiety, your fear, or have confidence, when you do drugs, or you are at certain places with certain people where you feel safe. Well it is not bullshit. Please keep doing the practice. Keep having hope in the practice. Do not give up. Having a "fuck it" attitude about yourself and trying to look for the solution in substances or stories in your head about (when I´m in this place, or when I stop having this kind of relationship with that one)... STOP! You do not need to do anything of that. Take a look at yourself!, Now! Be Very watchful and yourself and see so clearly that you need to give yourself at LEAST the same value as whatever thing you compare yourself with! Of course you shouldn´t even compare yourself with anything! Because this is your life, and you are playing in POV, not third person! But from starter, I just realized that.

That is SO TRUE. With that approach, you are in for life of constantly maintaining a belief. Not only I think that is non-viable in the long term, but rather I think it sad because your should be confident just because [YOU... ARE!!!]. Being confident is not about believing what you are saying is true, good, cool, or the right thing. Is seeing that just because of the fact that you are alive and YOU are the one who is playing your life, just because whatever is being born within you at any moment, how could that be less valuable than other´s people opinion or agenda?

Tell me, what can of things you do try to solve that? (consciousness practices, medications...etc) Or you are just trying to solve it through thought?

Has happened to me some times (and still does depending on the situation) in a sort of OCD style before taking psychedelics. My mind start telling: "what If during tripping you let go as strong as you have been able during meditation, and decides to jump out of the window"? "Like, there´s if it happens you can´t do anything to stop jumping out of the window because in that you time because you are letting go to what it is...." Then strangely enough when I trip all of this thoughts seems totally ridiculous and sometimes I don´t even remeber at all. But sometimes I wonder if it´s safe tripping with this kind of thoughts before hand or at the contrary it´s the actual therapy to trascend them.

I have some important questions and I hope i hope somebody can give me some direction. Recently I have been discovering some things: 1- It seems I have no aparent control about my future. I am yet not 100% sure what "free will" means, but what I know I am sure is that the feeling of "security" of controlling things is totally a lie (and a dangerous one). This is not to be confused with planning long-term. You can of course strategize and plan about the future. 2. Since the point 1 seems true, then comes the realization that my life (and the 99% of human beings) it´s chained of being happy if you state of mind in that moment is good (happines,pleasure, etc), or being miserable if your state of mind in that moment is bad (depression, anxiety, fear, etc). There fore, the strategy of most humans is trying to control the future and themselves in order to strategize a future where good state of minds are more present through their lifes and the least of bad states of mind are present. However, since you really can´t have control overyourself nor the rest of the people, situations, etc in that way, (see point 1) the only WAY I see to a human to live in peace the rest of it´s life is to do SOMETHING so it can be free from being chained about states of mind. Is this enlightment? Can you be "enlightned" and still be dependent on what your mind/body responses to pleasure? If enlightment doesn´t provide this liberation which seems so brutal and radical, what can? I can´t see other solution.

Whoa, your message seems authentic. I feel I already have some observations which are in the direction of what you are talking about, but I see it (also like you before you experienced joy) terrifying. The fact of submission to isness doesn´t feel right from a perspective which still feels it needs to control something.

This is not a nofap forum lol But coming from a 105 streak nofapper in the past, I´ll reply you. ----By the way, I am always surprised when people ask "does x count" . 99% it feels right what does count and what it does not bro. Also, depending on WHY you are doing nofap, you should now if "x thing" counts or not! Anyway, if you are doing NoFap for quitting porn, for energy, for anxiety, or etc, Wet Dreams don´t count. BUT, they are usually a good indicator of how you are doing NoFap. If they keep happening very usually, that usually means that you are still in some way consuming porn. The fact of HOW you do NoFap is very important. I did 105 days but I let NoFap convert into an 3-month exercise of self-delusion and hypomania. Sure, the "mania" feels amazing at the beggining, but in the end you´ll see it will get you nowhere. After all of this time I can see the increase confidence of NoFap primarly comes from abstaining to watch porn, not from jerking. Both give you confidence but the first seems grounded, the second feels fake and drug-induced. (if you don´t channel it correctly) This is not to say that abstaining from jerking off can be great, but usually it requires a lot of mistake and error to know how to channel the energy right and by the way a lot of Yoga exercises are destined to this, if you are not doing crazy workouts, you need some Yoga exercises to channel the energy correctly into more consciousness and self-awareness way and less brutal mania confidence that the testosterone provides.

Start by not having at home any food that is processed/sugar. Start from there

Don´t worry, if "you" had a panic attack, you just got lost (again) in your ego delusion mechanism. Ego loves reality too much, of course. That´s why the knowledge of the truth must be gradual. That´s why instant enlightment from psychedelics never happen. Forcing the ego to die, when its not ready, will mean that once you come down from the experience, ego will be back to be the one who wants to be in control.

Microdosing for productivity tends to get distrated. I would reduce microdosing to self-personal development purposes, and for that I think its just best to dose normally. Nootropics tend to work better to just productivity, although you have to find one that works for you.

Sorry for the title, I really don´t know how to explain this: Recently I´ve been having a lot of progress in my spiritual practice. In the last month, there have been days that I have been able to be consciouss of something bigger than me during the whole day. This days, although not totally effortless, they have been very freeing, although also scary and a lot of doubts arise about free will that it seem my ego can´t seem to let go. Any way, I´m not giving too much importance to this. The fact is, I pursue sprituality to avoid suffering, and hopefully to my ego escape from its own traps! (quite a mindfuck). The problem is, while I have been developing my consciousness, my habits don´t seem to change. I still get emotional or angry etc at certain people or cetain triggers, I still some addictions that doesn´t seem to get better despite something in me feeling more lighter and free than ever. Something I have experienced during my two awakening self-inquiry experiences it´s that once the "something-bigger" doesn´t attach anymore to the person, the person tries to make movement, or shouting, or whatever, in order to the "being" to attach again to the person. But if the presence keep remaining in its place, then the person stops and just give up. That have made me think that, since I can´t seem to break an addiction, maybe just not attaching to myself in thoughts that are related to addiction, fear of losing control etc...would EVENTUALLY make the habit/addiction of the person ALSO TO STOP. But this is tremendously risky and scary, and I don´t know if this bullshit or could be the light to keep going. I hope i have explained myself well. In a nutshell: Should I step back from sprituality and acceptance, and try again self-improving from ego perspective (things that I haven´t been able to improve from the ego, so why no would be different i think) or I should just "go all the way". The first seem responsible, the latter risky.

That´s quite brilliant. But let me turn it inside out a little bit that phrase to get deep: If I remember correctly, my transition from obssevie-maniatic-delusion thinking to a healthy sexuality and interaction with women (which I am still completing) was characterized by constant self-sabotages of myself denying some truh my mind was clearly discovering. For example, I would have a cristalline insight of how delusional is sexual objetification, I would want to grasp it, but my mind would not want to accept it, even though that would mean healing, becase for my mind accepting that would mean letting go of attached sexual fantasies and perspectives that mind is terrifying of letting go because it means that in part of me is fake, it means accepting the mind created all to fill the emptyness the mind is so afraid of, just like any addiction.

In case you haven´t put to it already, stop your porn use if you have any. Depending (because there are people that are fine watching porn) on your history, there´s already plenty of evidence that cronic use of pornography can cause some serious delusionary thinking patterns and anxiety disorders, towards women and by the way, just towards social interacion in general. Then you can "come back" if you stop seeing women as sexualized as you probably do. But for now I would suggest quitting porn will deliver the most short-term benefits.

Just tell her: console.log("Hello Girl!") Now seriously, people probably will tell you "just tell them whatever nonsense" and they are right, but you won´t because usually people need confidence that has to be "trained" to approach just purely a in cold style like that. I suggest you that try to observe her in a non sexual way and try to find interesting things about her style/attitude. Then if you have found any, tell her: -"Hey, I just observed you one day and {insert here interesting thing you observed about her} and that picked up my curiosity, {insert here question about the thing you are interested}? -Wait for his answer. Continue conversation.

Of course, but I would be more concerned about why are you not sleeping in 48 hours. If you keep extending the time, shadow people will come to visit to you...

I have found that due to my schedule my best time, by far, to do Yoga-consciouss breathing and meditation, it´s in the morning just before putting myself to do anything else. (of course I wait some time to "warm up" the body, or I shower etc) The problem is, I don´t what is the reason but a lot of mornings I get terrible fatigue that makes me so difficult putmyself to do breathing exercises or yoga exercises that might be energy demanding and which I love because I´m having such progress thanks to them. This fatigue usually fades once I pass around 11am, and the rest of the day I just feel pretty nice. I´ve tried: - Quitting coffee (this has been an improvement, since when I used to drink daily, my body absolutely would wake up dead until I drink coffee) - I do exercise 1 hour a day, but sometimes I skip it if feel I am pushing it too much (anyway the fatigue has been there before I started to exercise daily) - I improved a lot my DIET. I´m having lots of vegetables, better sources of meat and fish, and cutting back carbs although now because I am running 1 hour daily I had to up the carbs a little bit but still. - And of course, I sleep more than enough. (sometimes I just wake up earlier than the alarm clock with no wanting to sleep more whatsover) I really don´t know why the fuck is wrong with my body that from 8-am to 11-am is so fatigued, I have been feeling this all my life but until now I didn´t care because I hadn´t to do anything concentration-energy demanding in those hours but now that I am progressing a lot in yoga and consciousness I really could use an aid here.

The thing is that today something happened. It was just 10 seconds, but I think it was intense enough to take it into consideration, (more even if I imagine it will happen again if I continue to do such practices as Yoga or consciouss breathing from now on at the intensity I´m doing them, since i quit coffee and working on my addiction and taking my manias, phobias, identity serious since im discovering im the one who is creating all this problems I have in my life) THE EXPERIENCE: Anyway, today I went out running, then at the 30minute mark I started thinking about how a run can make you feel good and "be more consciouss about things". Then I thought , well ego is never consciouss so what I am even saying. This "spirtual debate" went on a few minutes, adn then, I just stopped running and I felt a crazy dissasociationg and I felt that I couldn´t associate myself with anything. Including..."Me". Well this looks too much to happen in 10 seconds right but I am just trying to explain what it felt a dissociated state, (or whatever you can call it). I felt panic of losing control, very real. It felt like a drug induced state for a moment. I tried to move, a punch lightly in my chest to swtch "the headspace" started running and then the sensation dissapeared and it was just me. But it really FELT like my consciousness HAD the moment to see that it was not me, but got scared and fast (in about 10 seconds after i did the chest thing) went back to identifing with my self. OR it could have been just the mix of exercising + placebo effect of being meditating so much lately? (since i was pretty tired, maybe I had low blood sugar because I do a low-carb diet) Can sober spiritual experience happen like this? (like 10 seconds, and its gone lol) Or is more like, "if you really had a spiritual thing, you would know it, you wouldn´t be asking"

110ug is completely fine if you have any past drug experience, if you have done mushrooms 3 times before is fine. Even more, I would say taking less sometimes can make a trip that would be just fine, a little messy, since you are not truly high and you are partially sober, so you are in a somewhat state of confusion. Regarding anxiety I would say Lsd is pretty more edged pushy stimulation, in comparison to shrooms that are more relaxing, but this doens´t mean Lsd is going to give you anxiety, you will feel energised but you shouldn´t feel anxiety once you are fully tripping regardless of you having anxiety on your life or not. (I have moderate anxiety in my life and Lsd has never given me anxiety, except when I have done the stupid thing of eating before tripping) Make sure you dose in a total empty stomach, this will make the come-up a lot more easier, and less anxious. Also try drinking some Ginger Tea in the come-up, the time I did shooms I drank it and i had almost none nausea.

For things like this I aprecciate this forum!