Javfly33

Thanks, I will keep running then HAHAH

I think you are going too far with the psychoanalysis dude I said all kind of shit on drugs in the same or worse intensity that the OP experience... I could either go mad and delusional in that every one of those things that I said meant something or... I just could accept that those things are part of the deal when you are doing mind-altering stuff like LSD. OP should go "deeper", but only if he has an history with his sister of any kind of trauma or has fantasized with her in the past or etc (which I think OP would know...) if not, he´s torturing himself doing "contemplation".

Dude, you getting this waaaay out of proportion. And also a lot people commenting here too! I understand the shame must be horrible to deal with but as long as you say your relationship with your sister is normal, there is no way you should blow this out of proportion. Stuff like that arises easily on drugs that inhibit rational thinking lmao, I said pretty mindfucking stuff on psychedelics, so what you think my friends gave a shit about what I said about them? I think one time on mdma, which I can´t think of drug more emotionally inhibitory than that one, I mentioned the newborn of a friend and I said pretty nasty stuff about it. Like really nasty. Although I was saying it I was with a fucking smile on my face lmao. Not because I had anything against my friend or because im a sadist for newborns but rather because the more taboo and inimaginable stuff, the more juicy for the mind is to shout it when the mind is carefree with no boundaries. They never have judged me because they understand some drugs can completely anhilate mental boundaries . I don´t want to judge your sister, but if she loves you/is smart enough she will eventually understand drugs make you do this kind of things.

When Sadghuru usually comes to spain? I wasn´t aware of this haha

If you "I Am x" you already something. Next step you should just say "I am" and stop there

If you are in Europe you can send a sample to analize at https://energycontrol-international.org/drug-testing-service/ That way you'll definitely know if you have 5-Meo-DMT for sure.

So here´s the deal. Writing this lines I am being consciouss on how radical this is but this is what I am discovering: -My identity, my person, it seems it just it´s a form, a representation of the "whole", call it consciousness, call it "oneness", call it "reality". From this point of view, I can see now why everything in my life has happened. Or in other words, I don´t care why anything in my life has happened by x or y reason. Since i started self-development I was obssesed in discovering why I have been "like this" and since started spirituality, apart from achieving that what they call "true liberation" i was hoping also it would answer some "questions" about "myself". But results are not going as I expected. I am seeing the "importance" of consciousness that my "identity" has, no different that the importance of consciousness that my coffee table or matress has. From this viewing, is not that I don´t want to ask for "answers", its that I see that asking for answers is meaningless the same that if I ask for answers for the universe why the coffee table has 2 trillion atoms instead of 2.1trillion atoms. I know below some teachings this could be view as "low self-esteem", because Humans are supposed to have "tremendous value" inside them, but I don´t see this in a negative way. I just have meditating very fucking deep lately and I open my eyes, I get consciouss of me, and I just see something moving. Nothing else. Like a car is moving. Is it bad to don´t see much difference between yourself and a car? Now...what is the next step? It seems I should just let go of everything. Just live. Hoping each day I will be more tuned with the truth during more time during the day. But at the same time it´s seems it consciouness its still identied with the person its because the person need to develop itself more. But I don´t undertand why yet. Or Should I just shut Up and maybe just keep practising more? Anyway, sorry if this is not a very "enlightning" post, I don´t know any persons who do this kind of practice and sometimes I just need to share this stuff to not feel that alone in this "path".

This is what I call mania+ego-inflation by being obssesively focused in anything for a lot of amount of time lol Nah, now seriously...I want to believe you but...what happens if you go distracted for a long time into anything (work, etc) you think will be still awake when you go back to your practice?

abandon all desires

I only heard the concept "zen devil" from Leo lol

Why he doesn´t retire to a cabinet to go meditate/yoga/psychedelics for ever? I don´t mean this question in a negative way/attack, I ask purely because of true curiosity. In fact I guess it´s because he must have reached a point of quite the balanced-life where although not fully enlightened his ego is very stable, yet the "need" of awaken 100% is not such a need like in others. I´m just saying this because if I had enough money saved to have food for the lets say, next 20 years (and purely not a single more expense), I mean there´s no need even to be worried about enlightement or not. As long as your only time you spend it meditating and doing yoga, you are already in the "zone". At least that is my experience. I might have bad days of pracitce but overall I know that if somebody would give a plate of food each day withouth me doing anything, I´ll be just doing yoga 24/7 and I would be in a state of neutral peace lol. Why worry about getting total enlightment since i wouldn´t have to go back to the ego/goals/survival/fear world! You get my point? The only reason why people have awakening experiences and then go back to ego state of mind is because in fact, their lives are still planned to go back to that kind of world after doing whatever retreat/practice they planned to do. For me this is common sense but maybe some disagree... I am waiting for your answers. Today I have been all day planning about how can I start saving money and search/build some sustainable housing in order to accomplish something like this. Once I don´t need to worry about food and housing, I´m going full 100% into the consciouss practice. I don´t even care about light/heating. I plan to build the house in an all-year warm type of place lol

Better, that way they can bring me fresh food

With "nocturnal emissions" the blue balls syndrome is not a problem. In fact I even did a 100day nofap with peeking a lot into porn and I only had blue balls twice I can recall. If you don´t even look at porn or fantasize in any way, blue balls don´t exist.

...Despite being liberating the mind always go backs to delusion, why I can´t submit to truth if its beatiful? It is because it´s so radical? Do you think some people will never submit despite having endless insights and awakenings? Until not long ago (2 months maybe) I was still skeptick about spirituality. Why? All "altered states" of consciousness I have experienced them on drugs . So while they might have been pretty strong, I wasn´t sure it was just a game of the drugs. But then about 2-3 months ago my mindfulness practice keep getting stronger and easier. And I had a self-inquiry/meditation/liberation during an hour which was totally sober and it was as strong as my non-dual experience on a empathogenic drug I had 3 months before. And then 2 weeks ago I had a semi-ego death while in sarvangasana position in Kundalini Yoga. And yesterday I fucking got a insight while i was watching youtube. This insight was related to total submission to the present moment. It was so strong and particularly because it hit me OUT OF NOWWHERE, I thought I was going to stay "there" all the time (in the realization of that insight). Hear me out, this didn´t happen after a meditation session. As a matter of fact, it was a pretty shitty day (hangover) but during the day I felt something "lighter" was trying to get "even more lighter" while I was complaining the whole day (sorry if this doesn´t make sense). The thing is, after a couple of minutes then of course I "got back" and hour later I was again stuck in the mind. While it happened though, I was sure I was going to retain that insight because it made perfect sense. It was kind of a liberating insight on a trip, but then you came back to harsh reality (your mind go back to the patterns of always). I thought if this happened to you sober, it would stay with you more. But I don´t know anymore. After I have this moments coming back to the dictatorship of the mind feels like the worst crash on mdma lol. This stuff is so frustrating. But at the same time I kind of get it, realizing the truth for ever would be total paradise and the game would end. I guess the ego wants to keep playing because he thinks it can win on his terms.

Although I´ve been experimenting with similar mind-altering substances lately (Dissociatives mainly), It´s been a while since I don´t trip on a classic psychedelic headspace, and the opportunity has come up to try 5-Meo-DMT for the first time this summer in a safe environment. My question is, should I "refresh" myself doing a trip to prepare for the 5-Meo-DMT mentally, or is it really not necessary and If I feel prepared I should just go. I´m having trouble discerning if this "feeling prepared" might be deluded, since I think 2 years since I am not tripping hard. Something tells me that whatever I imagine the experience is going to go, it is going to hit me 1000x stronger lol, although on other hand, there´s people with no psychedelic experience that go do 5-Meo and their experiences are fine. What you think?

You kidding?

Lol. Please do some research before you end up causing yourself diabetes. (and cause other people here because of your misleading information). There is proof, scientific evidence included if anecdotical is not enough for you, that certain foods can be worse/better than others, no matter how much calories or if they are the same calories. Hell, even if you are minim self-consciouss of your body you see almost inmediately how your body reacts to eating a whole bunch of pasta vs eating "clean" like (yes, broccoli) or fruit. However, I agree with you in that there is a lot of bullshit over the internet (gurus as you said) catalogizing certain foods as totally bad or totally good. If you feel the same eating for a whole month pizzas and etc vs eating "clean", well great for you. You must have a magnificient metabolism. However me I can´t go more than 2 days eating shit or I´ll start noticing increase in anxiety, can´t sit to meditate, stomach unestability, craving for stimulants...etc.

Not really. As you became more consciouss inevitably dating is something that you see more and more superficial. This is not to be confused with meeting people and women. I mean dating by the sake of it.

Woah dude! Stop a second right there. I´ve been there, right where you are. This is a classic trap when starting to pick-up. The mind will always give away distractions and brutal self-discovery limitations to you when you start doing this kind of "out-of the comfort zone" practices. Do not fall into this trap of the mind: 1. Continue trying to grow up 2. Be proud, very proud of yourself and self-assured that you are in a better place than before starting. This doesn´t mean that a lot of things that you are saying can be true and you have limitating beliefs/issues/fears, but if you pay too much attention to that it will be impossible to keep growing because the seeing of all those "Problems" will burn you out emotionally and it will seeem an unapproachble challenge.

AS a son of a heroin addict for more than 30 years now, this is disrespectful. Nah, not really since I don´t really care. But if i would be a heroin probably I would be pissed if you compare the two. And I say this and I consider myself I am addicted to porn. But for very bad that you feel after you use porn or what it does to you, you really can´t compare it to such a debilitating in the soul addiction like heroin. If you want advice to quit porn, you need to realize you are using porn for the high/dopamine and not because you are horny. If you want more advice just ask me. I am still consider I am "somewhat" addicted to porn but now it feels more I choose when to use it rather than in the past that I felt totally like a victim.

The drug doesn´t affect you more, but rather if you have had spiritual experiences in the past is way, way more probable that you´ll get an spiritual experience in the trip.

Please explain in detail what you mean with "taking action"? I read your message and for me it doesn´t make much sense what you are saying. But maybe I´m interpreting you differently than what you meant.

The sense does it really prove anything? I would say the "ego" exists as in a dream the one who is dreaming exist. Inside the world of the distorded perception, yes, it exist. But since you can tune into other perception which in that the ego doesn´t exist, we say the ego doesnt exist. Since most people who get into this perception say it feels more accurate, then we pick the last perception to decide what is alive and what not

Well I´m not sure if his songs are usually about spiritual truth but his vibe is definetely holistic-dreamy-psychedelic anyway what im saying im just projecting my mindimagination into his image

Maybe he meant some Kratom or something. I've used Kratom red come down stimulant psychs and it's pretty good to take the edge off and get out that "brain fried" sense after tripping lol But anyway what is a dealer giving this kind of advice to the customers lol