Javfly33

I tried in the past Kundalini and Kriya, but their practices are way too advanced to a newbie. Now I am doing Hatha Yoga from a month ago and I´m seeing much more results than in the past several months with Kundalini.

I know bro, but it is so difficult.

Maybe you can grasp it better like this: Imagine that you are dreaming. This dreams starts as you driving a car. But you don´t see yourself, you just see the car, and it moves. It doesn´t take long in that drea for you to create an hallucination that you ARE the car. The same happens to the voice in your head. People call it an illusion, the fact of being identified or feeling being that voice in your head, but I call it more an hallucination, you CAN perceive the voice, but still have the feeling that you are that voice. That is because although rationally, you understand that you can´t be something you perceive, the hallucination is way too consistent and strong. That´s why consciousness practices exist.

You are too lost in the mind. Meaning is only meaninful inside the mind. Maybe try some meditation practice and get out of the monkey-mind loop? It won´t get you anywhere, friend.

The mind is really a strange place. In my experience, I would advise you that you give less importance to all that, I´ll you why, I usually experience those kind of irrational fears, even thought I have never had a traumatic spriitual experience on psychedelics, I get that kind of fear you get when I used to microdose in the past. I even have little paranoias at night sometimes like closing all windows etc that sometimes I think...am I little too crazy or am I just fucked up? Then I take a psychedelic and all this obssesive thoughts dissapear, I see them from another perspective and it turns out it wasn´t anything too fear. Sometimes I get very surprised that, in certain aspects of my life, I see problems or issues far more sober on acid, than on sobriety life. But even like that sometimes I want to have an spiritual experience but I get fear from my ego, and it stop me. Well you can´t really force anything. Right now, If you want to have a full psychedelic trip I would advise you to take a relaxing substance to ease yourself into the trip. Nothing too strong that will dull it, but at least you´ll get to try it and your ego will see that there is really nothing to fear.

About 2,3 years ago I discovered psychedelics and they radically changed my negative patterns of thinking and living that I was having for a LOONG time, they were a true miracle to me. Even more, I use them quite a few times and all experiences, apart from being very self-analitical effective to treat my mental negative patterns, all were amazing and comfortable, nothing like all the information that goes on in culture and in media about going insane, and feeling scared etc. The previous 3,4 years I was living a nightmare of life I had such an ego, obsessive personality that I don´t know if any other thing could have made me accept other ways of thinking and seeing reality than just a drug that forces you to lol. For that time I knew nothing about meditation, consciousness, self-honesty etc, of course, after that I started being interested in this kind of stuff (and later on also discovered actualized.org) However, about 1 year and some months ago, I had a little disturbing trip (100% because of an inmature set and setting) definetely nothing too bad. However, I think it was the reason to stay away from psychs from a while. I thought, next time, I will prepare everything better and I will trip more occasionally. But since that time I hadn´t touch them again. When I think about planning a trip, I start to have irrational fears that make me to cancel it, this makes me so sad, particularly because I have been working in quitting an addiction for more than two years now, and I see no progress AT ALL. I feel tripping could really help with this addiction too. BUT JUST comes the day of tripping that I planned and I just find myself having fearful thoughts about all kind of irrational fears such as: what happens if i loose so much touch with reality that i will jump out of a window (not very original huh) etc. Constant obssesive thoughts, that rule my life and prevent me from develop myself, (I also work on meditation and yoga habit daily, but still, I feel the leverage that a trip could provide could really help me). I HAVE NEVER felt SO stuck by my own ego. The good news if for once in my life I can see cristal clear that the source ofthe problems and pain in my life, its me, and only me. So in a sense, there´s some peace there.

The same more or less happens to me. I discovered psychedelics a couple of years ago and it totally changed my life for the better, gave me new perspective to move on and it was a true miracle etc But then the last trip, about 1 year and a half ago was a little bad (but nothing too traumatic definetely, I dont remember like a bad experience per se) However, since then I want to take psychedelics again for personal development and spirituality purposes but I always end cancelling the trips, I get very anxious and fearful that something fucked up might happen. You can´t force your ego to surrender, so just be patient and aware, you´ll trip when you are 100% prepared to trip, meanwhile, practice other forms of spirituality

My advice is, do regular sport, and abstain from any kind of drugs whatsoever, to let your body/system rewire as better as possible. If you have been given antipsychotics is very normal that you feel SO BAD, because they are very damaging on the nervous system, you need to have patience, and trust that next year when you think about all this, you probably have gotten something very positive out of the experience. I wish you all the best

So, I don´t know how this happened but I got seriously "spiritualy" triggered (if you can call it this) by last week video "Skepticism & Nonduality" which was posted on the blog. Once it happened I had to turn on the lights and go do something to distract myself because I experienced a change in perception (i got scared). In the minute 27:30 to 28:00 Leo talks about how when you doubt about fantasy and real world, you come to a point when you realize there is no real criteria to diferentiate between real world and fantasy. Well once he said this (he said it so fucking serious) , I suddenly experienced a change of perception, I suddenly got a "fear of perception"( that I like to call) which i tend to had sometimes when I used psychedelics the first time and I dont know what was happening (but was happening something that it seemed real but couldn´t be). I also had experience this a couple of times with meditation, but definetely in a much more "soft" way. Also, I dont know why but when I watch "mind-fucking" staff at night, I am a lot more sensitive to it, like a 400% more than If i have watched this video in the afternoon at 16:00. Well, something very similar happened this time, but luckily I was able to distract myself fast and turn off the video. I dont know what would I happen if I watch this on drugs (by the way, I had not taken anything recently, not even coffee :D) I want to congratulate Leo for this, holy shi** you are a great "communicator" of mind-fuck stuff dude. I can watch hundreds of related videos of spirituality etc and none of them has literally triggered me fear just "talking" in any way ever, this is something to be valued. Be advised to everyone else if you haven´t watched the video yet xD.

Today, I was thinking about this stuff and I´ve come to the conclusion that I AM REALLY CONFUSED regarding this topic: I don´t understand quite right how personal development (or self actualization) really works . This is why: (group 1)There is a lot of people that get into this field, becase they have problems in their life big enough that motivates them to take a step into the self-honesty path that involves self-actualization. It involves letting go of things, of addictions, facing fears, assuming LOTS of responsability, in general a lot of times it involves uncomfortable and pain. (group 2) In the other hand, people, that, while they are not actualized nor conscious, because they dont have big enough problems, they are not motivated to take a step towards personal development. So this is what I don´t understand, or better said, I see it as "mindfuck" and Im not sure if I am getting it correctly or it is a self-deception : How come people (group 1) that have bigger problems than the second group (group 2) , (lets say = group 1 they are more "stucked" in the mud than the second group) get into self-actualization, and from that moment, they aspire to be enlightened, or at least master they emotions, be totally conscious, confident etc. How come from that moment group 1 aspire to be less stuck that group 2, wouldnt be more congruent to just aspire to the situation of group 2, and then from that point, aspire (if wanted) to master self-actualization? I can´t see how group 1 can just aspire to all that things that are way beyond group 2, while at that moment being below group 2 also.

I´m not sure if this is the place to post this, but i couldnt find any other better, so sorry if this doesnt go here. I can only watch the videos of Leo from the smart tv, and recently Im having problems watching the videos posted on the blog in vimeo. The video just won´t load. Any happen this to anyone? Leo, can you do a channel where you post the videos in Vimeo? That way I could watch the videos from the smart tv app of Vimeo. Withouth a channel in vimeo, i cant find any of your vimeo videos in the Vimeo App. Thanks, I enjoy so much your insights chilling at night at the couch!

I suggest you quitting porn, not fapping. Quitting porn will reduce the amount of the fap you do, I can guarantee you that. From that point, you can decide if you want to quit fap totally, or not. For my taste I try to fap the least as I can, since it really affects my energy levels and my motivation through the day. But until you learn how to channel and use the energy and "mania" that abstaining from masturbation gives you, it might be quite uncomfortable until you adapt.

With Psychedelics, I think it depends A LOT on the individual. Some people can have hundreds of trips almost anywhere and ride it along, and others not. I have a friend who almost went driving on acid. And he didnt take a big dose, I couldn´t understand it because all of my trips, for very mindfucked i am I couldn´t see myself doing such stuff, like I feel like my subsconscious mind knows everymoment where it is and i would never hurt me. (But also I could me wrong of course) I say it because I tend to have those kind of thoughts too, and the fear of losing control and jumping out of the window sometimes has arised before tripping. However, its funny because it always happens me that when I trip if that thought arises it just seem to me stupid, and one time I had to totally let go and accept jumping out of the window, but I never moved from the couch during the whole trip. It was just the fear in my mind that I had to accept and let go of it. Its better not to jump into conclusions generalising, since what it does to one person might be different to the other one. The best is to start always with low doses, and see how you react. Not neccesary to say that if you have serious mental issues you just should abstain from them

You dont say it serious right? Recommending one of the most hardcore drugs to someone who might (probably) not be prepared for it? WIth mental issues? Usually Im not against recommending psychedelics to treat mental stuff (obsessions, traumas etc) but what the lack maturity regarding drugs in this forum is ridiculous.

BY the way, there is nothing wrong per se with having fetishes in your sexual life as long as dont hurt your life, BUT, once it becomes a compulsion, it is an addiction, the brain just looking for the high. This is what 99% porn induced fetishes are, and obviously a compulsive brain regarding sex is far from being healthy

What do you mean exactly with "it came back"? Once you stop out of the compulsitivity of using porn, you just forgot about the fetish and then suddenly after 8 months "it came back"? After trying to quit femdom and porn several times , I more realize there is really no "fetish" but just an addiction to porn, sadly a particular fetish might make the addiction and the "high" stronger, but once the days pass Im more sure that it doesnt have any to do with your sexuality. You can see it for yourself, in the past if you relapsed to watch porn, afterwards your brains see it as a totally stupid thing. Once it has gotten its dopamine pleasure hit and "comedown" suddenly that fetish is absolutely stupid. I think you should be more positive, if heroin and cocaine addicts pathways can be rewired, sure porn can. You just have to take it like what it is, an addiction. I quit smoking some months ago and now i now i can live withouth it but still sometimes i "could use" a cigarette. Addiction takes time

Obviously there is nothing wrong with feminism from the point of view of the women. They will do the neccesary things to do in order to see themselves as equally as men. The problem is, as you said when you talk about spirtuality and normal life, while you might want to reach enlightment or being as conscious as you can, you still have to go to work and eat and feed your children. While western-culture feminism might be justified from the point of view of women and progress, if you are a men you will react to it, but I dont see it as a vilified reaction of the ego, but rather a natural one. (of course if we dont talk from a radical perspective, since from a radical one ALL reactions of ego are "bad", but i guess we are not talking from that yet since 99.9% of people are not enlightened yet). Let me explain myself: This is actually the politically correct , and accepted hate-speech narrative of the feminism movement in West Culture: https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/why-cant-we-hate-men/2018/06/08/f1a3a8e0-6451-11e8-a69c-b944de66d9e7story.html?noredirect=on&utm_term=.89d7a438db9b Don´t need to read the whole thing, I Quote from the autor: As I was saying, if anybody its enough "enlightened" that they sacrifice themselves and will lean out for women, then great for him. But I doubt 1% of people who support western feminism would actually do it. You see counter-feminism as a problem of the ego, but I think its not even a problem, its a natural response. If Ku Klux Klan would conquer america, would you accuse black men of being too EGO-centric if they started to be against it? In a radical sense, YES YOU COULD! But jesus, I think the reaction of his ego would be so obvious that to use it as an argument to criticise the attitude of the black people would be preposterous. Yet you are doing exactly the same with the attitude of men who stand against feminism when they see that his rights get ripped apart (or suffer political and judiciary discrimination) because of it. Turns out 99.9% both feminism supporters and not supporters are not enlightened yet and both respond to his ego. Then who are we bullshitting? If anybody wants to actually want to really submit to feminism and conquer his ego, great for him, but the ones who dont, please stop being so hypocrite.

Since you have 4 weeks free, I advise you to FIRST take a normal dose, and then if you think you can feel comfortable take that high dose if you want it so much. Still the most advisable thing to do would be to have first some several experiences in normal doses, not just one. There´s a hell of a difference between normal and high dose in for example mushrooms as you said.