Javfly33

@Red-White-Light Ask yourself if a psychotic episode would be possible in someone who hasn't known any kind of culture whatsoever, that has 0 conceptual knowledge about reality. Insanity can only happen if you compare it to sanity. An insane person really doesn't exist, but we make it so but putting it that label and compare the person withouth understanding about reality.

@PlayTheGame Realizing I Am doesn't explain that you are God. Personally I haven't experienced that I Am God, but I have an open mind to consider it.

@Zingo You still think non-duality is just a word-game. Doesn't it "feel" now that you are not God? Do you have another tool than just a belief to afirm that you are not God? Because if you actually have a tool that is not a belief, please tell me.

@electroBeam That post scared the shit out of me. I want to awaken or leave this shit behind for ever. I don't know how much time I'll be able to handle the mindfuckery for so long. Why don't you guys can't talk like Eckhart Tolle? That the path seems hunky dory? LoL

Does an awakening answer the question why reality seems some way and not another? I get there´s only Being but is there a why?

Yes, maybe you should move into other substances / practices. To give you an idea I sometimes have switched to effortless awareness at around the 50ug mark (although I think I resonate particularly strong with lsd) , so that you should give you an idea that you shouldn´t be neccesary to do such high doses. Or maybe you have a very strange tolerance effect.

@Arzack You could always crush your head against whatever solid you have locked yoursefl too. The wisest thing is to have a physical stronger than you experienced trip sitter. What happened to you with 5-MeO by the way.

It seems that after having some altered states of consciousness, solipsism is the last illusion of the ego and for some people it feels very hard to break through. Let's just see it at what it's really is. A story created by ego to, after been shot by Truth in the face, wants to fit in and make space for itself too in a game where theres only space for One! Notice how it can only play this card who more thoughts and ideas, the very tricks that it used to tell itself that it was alive. Lol! No! Dummy. You don't fit here. There's only space for One here. Only THIS @VeganAwake

Other methods are not useless, they just take a lot more time. Having said that, "the faster method" doesn't mean it's the best. For example I could do 5-MeO-DMT but I don't want because I feel I have a lot of shadow work and basic necessities to have before I encounter such big realizations. So I do self-inquiry and yoga and I have pretty good results. Depending on what stage are you you will need one tool or other, or who knows no tool at all. I think Leo just wants to go as deep as he can for the sake of it, not so much for personal development/end of suffering as most people do( which then they will be more concerned to integrate the realization into their daily lives as a benefit, it seems this is your concern regarding depending on a drug) however for Leo then the most logical tool is psychedelics

I'm going to the therapist currently and today I had a sort of argument (in a good mode lol not that we fought) about of self esteem and love. I told her that if self esteem was related with self love, that you always should have high self esteem regarding if you accomplish goals or not, because love is universal in reality/universe. She was shocked by this and ask me if that was really how reality / the world work. That that wasn't our experience as humans etc Obviously at the end I had to give her the point because I wasn't going to have an argument with someone who hasn't ever gotten out of the conditional mind, but what do you think about this? Isn't this a concern that society has no clue about radical self-acceptance and radical righteousness regarding what you have done in life? Overall my therapist is pretty good, I know you can't ask almost anybody to have an understanding of real unconditional love, but it kind of disappointed me too because I would like therapist which is in accordance with that I have discovered in high consciousness states. (not even talking about psychedelics, the Nathaniel's Branden book "The six pillars of self esteem" has also given me a taste of unconditional love/self esteem doing the exercises he promotes)

Mhhh...I guess both?

After being aware of the question "Who I am?" several times through the day, there is a kind of "pointer" which arises in the experience, to which his answer is THIS (what is happening when awareness becomes aware of awareness (if that even makes sense) I'm going into the right direction? Could be THIS what I am?

Check out the Six Pillars of self-esteem, by Nathaniel Branden.

I realized a thought was just a thought, not mine. I saw a thought like one would see a chair, or an eyelid. I realized intuitively that the 'taste' of this thought is the same that the taste of the thought of anyone else's. After this realization, this catapulted awareness and joy for the next hour. It felt like this was it. However ego comes back. What is the nature of this? Should I be concerned that there are things still in my "soul" that needs to be . It's a little disappointing touching joy to then let it go again and go back into linear-thinking mind time. "I" thought it was done for good.

@VeganAwake There´s nothing but awareness... I´m just watching this video and I think I really got the joke this time man, i cant believe it

@fridjonk Interesting, I should have asked her those at the beggining, damn. @Preety_India Yes! I agree totally with that. That is the self-esteem i´m talking about.

@LastThursday But the body awareness is identified with it was born, wasn´t it? In that sense romans maybe existed too?

Thanks a lot man, I'll surely check the resources you gave me.

It depends on what you mean on Ego. If you want to separate certain electrical signals in your brain which produces sounds and you call that an "identity", and separate that the electrical signals of a brain 100km from you are somewhat "different". Then, yeah, they are different. But there´s nobody there. Ego is called like a "symbol" to point to certain actions than a certain process do. A false identity is created, but its a symbol, an ego is a map withouth territory

When I ask the mind "Who I am", is saying "I". But i fast see this is just a thought. I have 0 evidence there´s actually someone there inside the mind saying "I"!! I entered this morning for some seconds a truly effortless state I can´t take this, I need to realize what the fuck is happening. I can´t be in that state self-inquiring for 2-3 hours a day and not getting anywhere.

This is happening to me too, since I had some Awakening, I ditched all addictions and what I had left is with a mind that just doesn't fucking stop to arise thoughts of fear, anxiety, and un-groundness. I meditate more than ever because this mind is chasing "enlightenment", but the rest of the time is full of wanting to control and to solve 'things' and basically life has gotten x10 difficult than some weeks ago was . I now know why spirituality is not a common "hobby". What you have to clean all the rubbish some people I understand prefer to stay in the rubbish and get comfortable with it. It's an arduous process and worse is you don't really know where it is going, you just know you are constantly surrendering your sense of self and there's no guarantee you'll get anything good in return. Hell you might even "die" in exchange to be alignment with this Truth. Sometimes I don't know why I didn't stayed playing videogames and forgot about personal development and spirituality. I know some people have just accepted"how they are" and just live between distraction and distraction so they don't think. They will be far from being aligned with Truth, they might be full of traumas and neurosis and egocentrisms, but they look more peaceful and at ease than myself for sure. They just ditched so deep the rubbish than I think they are not even thouched by them. Here we get out the rubbish but until you manage it to throw it away you get dirty, very very dirty . Be prod you are working to be withouth rubbish in your life I guess

@ardacigin Yeah, I mean I am mainly using it for social skills but since I've becoming aware part of my problem is a lot in self esteem/love then I am sometimes still reticent to make goals a way to solve this. However yes I'll keep an open mind and basically as you said my idea so far it's a mixture of this kind of "mechanical therapy" with my own holistic therapy, however I just hope it doesn't go too far to the other side. @fridjonk I don't remember reading that What should I've asked exactly?

@LfcCharlie4 I´m listening to an audiobook of Ramana, it´s helping tremendously. I had underwhelmed self-inquiry. Thanks for the post @Nahm Sneaky stuff. I need to try that paper thing, surely it will bring me to more clarity I hope. Thanks for the wisdom I´m doing a LOT of Kundalini breathing pranayama too, and it´s certainly making this "edgier", because I am not doing the relaxations also which are supposed to be done I Think at least with each Pranayama/Asana. I am forcing myself but I am also allowing that lol. Once the "forcing" it´s recoznized as a part of, I don´t feel it "forced". However the ego does some shouting/screaming here and there while doing the Pranayama this days and says it doesn´t exist lol. It seems that this thought whithin awareness actually thinks it has already existed in the past as a "someone"! (but its getting used to the idea slowly that maybe it hasn´t).

Thanks, that is something I need to contemplate. I'm sure the 'joke' will make sense at the end

@Bulgarianspirit One last objection... I am aware that other's including me are consciousness. That is not solipsism but non duality in fact. However consciousness is having the POV of a person space, in this sense it's a kind of solipsism because for your experience there's only this POV. That's what I still find unsettling.