Javfly33

Nice! I too became consciouss for the first time in a psychedelic of the of the fear I have inside the body. From there I was able to start adressing it and healing Love it when I see such a good "use" of psychedelics

OMG love it. Haha. For the OP, I suggest you that you have TOTAL honesty with yourself. There's a big probability that your porn addiction is "just* a representation of something that needs to be healed/work through in your life. Don't give too much attention to porn, relapse..etc...this is not heroin addiction. You consume porn when your don't have anything better to do in life. Start fixing your life Porn is really just "a pointer". Is not the "thing to fix". Is more a thing that will go away when your life is correctly aligned. Also, there are some specific types of porn addiction which are directly related to shame/frustration, I think doesn't need to be said that if this the one you have it's Obviously clear what you need to heal.

Infinite, nothing, reality...all words.

Why you have to choose? Is as simple as becoming more conscious and the mind will start behaving differently. Is not that you start spirituality and you have to restrain yourself from having fun or making money. Is just that maybe you stop being so much interested in that stuff. In the same way, If after a long meditation retreat, you still want to go "after girls", then what´s the problem? Maybe it´s what the body exactly needs at that moment. Really I can´t understand you guys when you talk like you have to choose between spirituality vs material stuff. Idk for me it seems much simpler than that.

Ego´s problems. Not yours.

Ignorance Selfishness More ignorance

I want to verify an insight I had just 20 minutes ago. I was listening to this video this morning and I was walking down the street. Leo recommended on being consciouss of your hand. The thing is, 2 attractive girls passed right through me and I started getting distracted. So I become consciouss that my mind was projecting and having ideas about what those 2 forms were: Women, attractive, biological beings, ...etc. But I had turn back home so they dissapeared from my sight, and suddenly now I am looking at the floor. This is when the insight hit me. I am still looking at the girls! Because the girls was just a FORM that had just changed to a floor! Then a cat appeared. The cat is just form! The form just changed from being "women" to "floor" to a "cat". IS THIS FOR REAL?

Yes, but what I am doing? Why the hell I am doing by "Being"? Is there any purpose in "Being" me?

Can this nothingness ever be known what really is?

I get what you are saying, but as the other user which replied me, you are currently thinking what would you do from a brain/mind that is currently balanced and values interesting, special, profound things, apart from happiness or pleasure. That's also my "kind of mind". Although I am not sure if I not so much to enter "terryfing and painful places" just for pure curiosity, so you probably have a mind less 'hedonistic' and more explotatory than mine. But this doesn't mean that I'm automatically projecting, thought. I'm very confident my scenario would be correct in both of us. If you would be in a state where your mind is constantly happy, relaxed, and content, there wouldn't be any motivation to seek anything, because for what when the present moment is already full? I'm not asking you to choose whether to pick between being on the drug or being in a notmal state, I'm saying you are already in the state of mind of the drug, always. In this scenario the mind literally wouldn't have any questions of 'coulds', 'whatIfs', 'Iwonderhow'..etc The kind of attitude and questions that represent trascendent contemplation and exploration. Unless what you are saying is that your drive is coming from something deeper than the mind. (Like that it would be coming from "the heart") I'm open to that but I have to be honest, I have known a couple of addicts to certain hard drug who I would consider quite passionate for reality, art,( not the stereotypical junky that doesn't care about anything but have fun) ...etc yet when doing his drug of choice just be totally content doing simple activities and not seek any kind of profound things for YEARS. Seeing that had grown me quite skeptick.

Work on your confidence and self-love.

I find it somewhat amusing what you guys keep saying about "You must seek Truth for truth´s sake! If not is not going to work out!" If anybody could get a vial of any pleasurable drug 24/7 that´d would put you happy and content in the present moment, there wouldn´t any "Truth seekers". NONE. Now I do recognize there are people that definetely show more passion or curiosity for what reality really is. Hell even me I remember when I was little kid I was asking deep metaphisical questions that´d make my parents laugh or feel weird. Like "what happens when I am dead"...etc. But everybody here who is seeking enlightment is seeking Happiness/Joy/Love/Fullfilment. Let´s not kid ourselves. The "passion" for Truth even if it´s there, it´s secondary. You guys are self-deluding yourself thinking you are saints that only care about truth. You care about Truth because the Illusion doesn´t work for you. Not because you are deeply in love with truth. In fact truth is death for ego. So you are going after it only when you have realized until exhaustion that Illusion could never work.

Ok, so maybe I really misinterpreted you. In what term exactly your life has been opposite to improvement? Have you gotten addicted, depressed, anxious...etc?

I can relate, more or less to you, in a less intense way but overall in the last year. The last year every fucking weekend I had to be high or numb on something. Like I wouldn´t conceived have a sober day on a weekend. I have realized it was my monkey mind. I was just trying to escape my monkey mind. Inspect what really doesn´t let you be Ok with just taking just a sober walk around town or nature. Maybe it´s the monkey mind telling you stuff? Probably it is. Most of cases that people say "man i Have ADHD!" It just an endless internal monologue of negative things or beliefs happenning that obivously, can´t let you be/concentrate. I mean I am not going to lie to you, some people are definetely driven to make their lifes more intense and profound because they can´t get satisfied with simple things all the time, and that´s why things from art to enlightment exist. But... that shouldn´t be confused with the need that you say that you have to be numb or high every night so you can sit still and be comfortable with yourself.

Have you tried 3-MeO-PCP? I found it a little addictive so I end up ditching it but I found it extremely interesting and I wonder if its possible to breakthrough on it. If you do so you should do a video on your Youtube about it. Just subscribed!

Spiral dynamics It´s not related to what I am saying. You don´t need to be Buddha to be honest with yourself about why you are doing meditation or yoga. Are you doing to be more confident in your life? To be more social or have sex? ...etc? To be more relaxed? That´s OK, no here to judge, but then consider that maybe there are other practices more effective to accomplish that! You could maybe get more sex if you do pick up, or maybe start travel to meet new people, or maybe work with a good therapist some particular traumas or shadow work withouth cuesitoning your identity too much to overall reduce your stress or anxiety in life, rahter than putting all of your eggs on Spirituality.

If you are doing enlightment for your own interest/agenda then better stop it. Is not about that. The OP is complaning but he is not realizing that Spirituality is not self-improvement. It trascends it. It doesn´t make sense to say "I wasted x years of my live by doing spirituality! Oh man I lost so much experiences, meeting new people, girls...etc!" You should be ready to "waste" the rest of your living live if you go doing Spirituality serious. Of course "waste" is used in the language of "material things". I don´t see it as a waste. I see it as actually improving one´s life. But the OP measures life success in terms of achieving basica material stuff. If you care about all of that stuff, then what are doing a practice which is intended to actually trascend and let go of all of that stuff?

It´s possible because all laws and rules are imposed by Reality to itself. God chosed/created 5-MeO-DMT to awake himself. He would easily have chosen a certain rock, or a beatiful crystal. It just coincides that he choosed something called as "psychedelics" as one of his methods to remember himself.

I stopped watching when he said "physical reality".

Is not going to be very useful to you because it was super-low. I snorted two small lines (could be 30-40mg total). It was a dose that any other day I would have been able to function and speak with no problem, but that day something weird happened LOL. Normally you will need to dose much more for an ego-death.

Yeap, I had my first ego-death on that chem. See: I still consider classical psychedelics more reliable and effective for consciousness work, but 2F-K it can be helpful too if you are responsible enough. I found that I could use it in a recreational way too easilily. So I am probably not going to research it much more. But for some that might not have the opportunity or time to do 8-hour long lsd/mushrooms trips, this chem can be an interesting choice.

This is my experience so maybe other people don´t apply this, but I found it quite interesting so I thought in sharing it. Recently I´ve been increasing my meditation practice and I have discovered something. When observing the thoughts, i´ve been trying to be very conscious on WHERE do they appear. Literally. Not "it feels like" but literally where does a damn thought appear. I have observed that the "ego" imagines that the thought appears/it is being reproduced in the TONGUE!!! That´s right, it seems a lifetime of believing yourself to be your thoughts, makes the ego to actually believe it is "producing"/speaking in a way the thoughts when they appear. Today I spend much of my contemplation practice just basically not moving my tongue and seeing thoughts arise, trying to make myself see that the thoughts can´t possibly be created/speaked internally by the tongue, since the tongue is not fucking moving. Anybody can relate to this? I found it outlandish when i discovered it. ITS THAT OUTRAGEOUS THE DAMN ILLUSION!!

This won´t answer your question straight, but maybe will make you being able to explore other approach... Why do you assume that there must a perceiver, watcher, or witness to this thoughts, feelings, fears...etc? Maybe that´s all there is... But you keep looking thus maintaining the illusion of the "perceiver".

It´s a Winner!

That's supposed to happen. Is not a bad thing lol. Don't try to suppress energy release!