Javfly33

Notice that "was" feels very real and very different from IS. Yet "was", "past", and "very real feeling of past" happen Now. Are you sure something as the "past" exist? Have you ever experienced something as the "past" or is an idea that always have happened Now?

@cnfvm The notion of past happens always here and Now. What does that tell us about "the past", since even the imagination of it happens here and Now?

That´s basically it. This is not "your life". This is a dream of consciousness and "your life" is just thoughts forming the Ego therefore forming the illusion of "somebody" being Alive inside the body. So how do you accept, as the ego, that you do not exist? Its a bitter pill. (I am not saying it´s Bad, I´m saying it seems a pill tough to swallow)

That´s actually a good point. I guess the illusion hasn´t totally "seen through" yet @VeganAwake

@VeganAwake It doesn´t exist, but thoughts re-create the illusion. So even if Awakenings happen, if thoughts of identity re-appear that are believed in, then "the sense of self" re-appear (even if doesn´t exist, they are just thoughts I totally agree with you)

@ajasatya Nobody, of course. Thank God I´m just an illusion @Nahm Buuut if there´s no ego, there´s no game left to play

In my city recently a Coronavirus outbreak happened and now everybody is mandatory to wear face mask in the street, with the exception of clubs and bars I have the opinion that yes, you can totally do pick up with a mask. Women are not that attracted to looks but rather to personality, so a face mask shouldn't be such of a handicap. But I'm no expert in social dinamics so that's why I ask

Hahahah. God is a mad man creator

Ketamine is not the best drug to do in a regular manner, it can be both neuro and physically toxic, although they are definitely worse things out there. Keep it occasional, if you start notice you're using regularly to get results meditating cut it off. It's safe use is for occasional trips like psychedelics.

They say Enlightement ends suffering and that's why most people pursuit. But Enlightement also means you die. The present moment stays, you die. So you really don't gain anything. You might trascend suffering but in exchange you completely die, I am starting to think it's not such a great deal. You have to surrender your will, your desires, your selfishness, your identity, your stories, and your lies, your petty pleasures. And in exchange I'll get absolutely nothing. Just being The Present Moment.

@LfcCharlie4 Yes, I do. But I resorted to Spirituality because basic self help didn't work. I will read some more books in a serious manner , in that sense thanks good advice. Diet is great. Social life none, but this it's because it's related with my anxiety. I call it anxiety to call it something. It just is a deep sense of unworthiness that no matter how much I get better it seems its still there and "resucitates". My only hope was/is Psychedelics but I can't fucking make myself to take Enough so they could actually heal me.

I've done. And for sure I contemplate visiting another. But my problem is deep, it doesn't get solved with some therapy.

What can you do? When I mean detaching I mean accepting, not evading. I mean there's no evasion anymore but I can't seem to be able to solve them. In the last 6 years I have done signficant work but the root problem is still there. So I'm basically out of solutions or ideas .

@dimitri Man I don't know. I completely understand where your coming from. My life problems are an ILLUSION. Yet my anxiety and overall root problem (imaginary and maintained by believing myself I am an identity/ ego, I know) is still in my life 6 years later. I mean I could say life is getting better but today I had some suicide thoughts. I wouldn't consider I am in a very bad place in life, because I have SOME wisdow that I am not really the one who is suffering (I can detach myself from it still() but honestly my ego/avatar is not all right. So I am feeling in anytime it can "explode". I don't how., I hope is for the good. I could use some "relative* advice in regards to the avatar.

I am not sure what the fuck is going on lately . Can't handle my life anymore so I take refuge in the present moment. Seems my fuck up life is forcing to surrender myself finally. I hope I am done soon or maybe do Bufo alvarius in the Mountains soon if I make it alive to the last week of july

I am not sure what you mean about the first question. About the second question: Freedom

My whole life dissappears. Even if it's an illusion is ALL I have had.

Have you tried therapy?

@WelcometoReality I can relate to that lol... I am in the process of working it through .... Any advice?

@Serotoninluv Exactly, there are a lot of attachments that are part of the beauty of life that also will be gone. That is also heart breaking as fuck. So there's something.

It's milligrams! Not micrograms! ?

Took a very small dose of acid last Thursday, but it turn out to be very powerful because of the set and setting. I've discovered that while doing trips with a set and a setting that would be considered "bad" or "difficult moments" (for example, anxiety) can be a bad idea because the trip might be overwhelming for your ego, talking very small doses in this precise times, can be quite enlightening and it's a strategy I've used a lot the last year to go deep into my anxiety and basically all the shadow stuff. 00:00 Started cleaning the house. 01:00 I started crying how hard last year has been discovering all the shadows and conditionings that have caused me suffering all my life (Identity, in other words, the ego). The crying felt really good to accept myself and realize I've grown a lot the last year's and realize that you can't "build Rome in a day". My ego has a tendency to "solve everything fast" and that can be stressful when healing takes time. It helped to accept taking things slowly after a lot of grown. 02:00 I lay down in the floor and close my eyes. I pull out my phone to turn up some music. While doing this Internal dialogue was subsiding a lot. Here is the first glimpse of my awesomeness Nature, I realize that the phone it's me! I am in the present moment! I have been living all my life in a story in my thoughts, therefore being totally like in a prison. Switching this dynamic to be aware that I am the present moment made realize that I can always be free. 03:00 I totally lay down and put some music finally. Now suddenly "someone" which is not me is watching through my eyes. Now I surrender and slowly an existential Peace washes over me. 03:30 My neighbor starts making noises with a machine. It's quite disturbing. I notice this noise is pulling me out of my peace. But I don't know why I kept surrendering, and realize that there's no separation between the neighbour and me. We both are creating the noise. I am literally making that fucking noise up there. 04:00 I sit with my back straight up, look at my most near objets in front of me and ask myself what is Conscioussness. Suddenly I got it. Conscioussness is not an intellectual answer. It is reality! Conscioussness is creating reality. I start laughing and crying of how good the joke is . 04:30 I take a shower. Here I am not able to describe what happen, but it felt like I started getting a "download" from higher intelligence. It wasn't words. They were direct, so I couldn't know what it was that it was downloaded, just that it was something very deep about reality. I got some kind of scared, and I said out loud "Wow, God, Jesus, Ok. ok, this enough, I can't handle much more. Jesus. This is intense" and suddenly I stopped receiving the "download". I remembered @Leo Gura when he said that God wants to show to you but also doesn't want you to become traumatized. 05:00 I lay down in the couch, and a kind of bad vibe starts creeping in. I am not sure why it was but it felt like experiencing what I had experience was very overwhelming because of how real it was. I felt like reality was totally out of my control, and it is quite mad. I realized that I understand 0.00001% of reality and that made me quite ungrounded, at this point I was glad that most of the time I live in a very unconscious state of consciousness, because high states of consciousness are not easy to digest even though apparently it's where Nirvana it's at . But I'm sure I LL keep going towards truth even though when it gets so real it scares me 05:30 Send a message to my therapist saying a proper goodbye (since I just had stopped going withouth saying a proper goodbye due to Covid) saying thanks to her and sending her a hug. What can you do that love facet of Lsd gets me everytime. Thanks all for reading ❣️

Wow, I've tried that but you know it seems too good to be true. Like it truly feels like freedom, when I let go that "there is a problem" and instead I 'give it to God'. Feels good, again, like freedom. But this freedom feels alien too, like "this couldn't be this easier, right?" so I usually end up going back to the same thought stories.

Exactly. The false self assumes that an object corresponds with a thought... Yet the object is always already there without any thoughts... So THIS is always prior to any stories of the false self. This means Such Unconditional Freedom as you said, that can't never really be touched or corrupted ?

It's so mystical it can make such magic trick to trick itself to think that reality is ordinary and material ?