Javfly33

@Loba yeah you are the old user Keyhole. Why you changed your username?

Do you think that every Ego's dream in which God is incarnating, has the same 'purpose' or it varies ? For example in my latest deepest trip I got the sense my whole life story as an ego was meticulously imagined to teach myself about love. My lack of self esteem, 'social anxiety', constant judgements, etc, this that my ego has had and done for all of his life it's not a coincidence. You could say "no, it was because genetics , or because having this parents or having this friends or having this face (I'm not even ugly but just to make a point lol) " blabla... But you are missing that my friends, parents, childhood and genetics are not absolutes. I have imagined them too. To create the perfect Illusion so the dream was coherent and believable. As I said. For what purpose? I as God have imagined this particular dream to teach myself about how immensely perfect and love I am and to remember this. Because you know, it's amazing to remember this. It's the pinnacle of life. But maybe it's because I was just high and I have read too much actualized.org and my mind is making fantasies about it ? I definitely need to go deeper. Now that I now that I am not real and I am God hahaha Blessings ??

@James123 literally ??

Non duality is definitely not the truth. It's a model to understand the interconnectedness of reality. But yeah, it could be flawed. In a lot of ways . The truth can't be a model or theory or ideology as you said.

I think you should go to a doctor. Don't know how doctors are in your country, maybe try different type of doctors.

Seems like a good first time overall ? thanks for sharing

You think there's Truth over here, and that which is going to be found or is aligned with over there. Non duality Not found 404 ☹️

? That went straight to my heart Sorry but that is exactly what doesn't make sense and started me into the spirituality stuff in the first place. The story of being a precise "you" and not another "you" sounded like Catholic animalistic magical thinking..it just makes zero sense. Therefore looking for actual truth about what I am.

Dunt know. It's just a weird intuition I keep getting in deep psychedelic trips.

What is wrong with being alone? You are just thinking that that is bad. But it's actually amazing because it also means you are so United with yourself.

I found out. I'm just talking to myself ?

You sure ?

Because the relationship is too damn obvious to not do it. A lot of my inquiry points to this is nothing but a dream.

@Someone here Does free will exist in the dreams you sometimes have when you go to sleep? Like...is not like in the dream you are deciding move by move or having a thought of "I am going to do this" or "I am going to say this". In that sense there's clearly not free will. In the same sense probably that you . However notice that you are alone dreaming. So "something" must be "deciding" the content of the dream.

Does it matter though? If at the end of the day you know you are love and everything is love? Everything will be reduced to "you". So fuck it if that "everything" includes this form or not. True love only what matters ❤️ Yeah apparently not ?

@zeroISinfinity hahaha. It is interesting 'round here. You are having a great time ? Just talking to yourself right now

Well, yeah I plugged. With the first question I mean, I haven't blacked out yet but it felt I was close.

?

Because most people don't even know about self realization. Also, you must take into account some people have strong attachments that provide lots of times deep entertainment and pleasure, even though usually you also have to work hard for them. Most people who go to self realization hardcore it's because most of the time they are suffering and they don't have much strong attachments to pleasure and entertainment in their daily lifes.

You can let them go/not attach to them as any other type of thought. But here's what I find tricky about this. And is that the mere thought of anxiety comes with the subconscious message that not attaching to that thought or letting go of it, it's dangerous In other words, it seems the thought comes with a subconscious message that itself is there to protect you. So letting go of it would be stupid isn't it? That's why I always say, all fear is fear of death. Because of thoughts anxiety are survival oriented. So when you let go of them you are basically choosing your peace of mind Now Vs your survival. Which I guess that's the essence of spirituality. But Damn the price to pay for that peace is high!! Isn't this reckless behaviour actually? The problem probably is that some survival mechanisms are way too active and over exagerated, and that's what we would call pathological anxiety. But again, how do you know what is pathological and what is actually saving your ass. If I have thoughts of anxiety most of the time it's because my body or mind has learned to trigger them because it thinks are useful to keep me alive. And it seems it works because I'm alive. So when you ask to let go of thoughts of anxiety you basically asking " just don't trust your body survival mechanism". Which ...I can for some time, but at some point I end up listening again to the fear because...hey it keeps me alive. Maybe it works. It's tricky stuff really. It seems nobody actually trascends their anxiety. People recommending you about your anxiety being exagerated is just because their body and mind from childhood learned a different mechanism which maybe doesn't trigger so many thoughts of anxiety/fear. That's it. Please tell me where I might be wrong. My view is kind of nihilistic but honestly I am losing hope with my mind. Everything seems very deterministic.

@Someone here Unfortunately (or fortunately ?) you are God, so if you are experiencing suffering it's because you are literally creating it. Not in the way of you having thoughts and beliefs and that way creating suffering. No.no no. I mean in the literal sense. All of your life story is a dream and suffering is part of the dream. I don't agree with the mantra of suffering.not existing. Suffering does exist. But as an illusion. All can I say is don't worry at the end nothing matters and you were always fine as your true nature. But I won't be hypocritical to say that you are not suffering or something like that. It clearly exists. As an illusion, but it exists. Fortunately nothing is permanent, too.

Wait until you realize all of your life was a dream and your suffering was a gift to yourself from God to your ego to teach yourself about love and to remember yourself how great you are. Haha! Ups.i spoiled the surprise. Couldn't keep it to myself I guess ??

So how do you differenciate between blacking out and Infinite love? Lol I felt I couldnt go any further than I went in intensity this time. I did 20mg and it seems this time was much potent than before. The burn was quite intense, I started being concerned about if I have fucked up my ass in the middle of the come up of trip which was not a good thought to have in mind.

@traveler well yeah. That's exactly what I'm staying dude

Yeah for me it seems more like the latter. I don't feel like I am God. I might be a God but in my own imagination/universe. But I am not anybody else's god. So fuck it in reality is not that different. Everyone of us are separated for ever, the only nice thing is that we are Inmortal. But non duality? Yeah right but in our own madness. No with each other. No "universal God" it seems. More like alone God So I think eternal spirit is a better word.