Javfly33

I don't know about the whole dopamine / brain / porn thing. I've been using porn since 13 years old almost daily and I will go absolutely mental at the touch of a hottie in bed. @Daniel Lopez Couldn't it be that you are making a big deal of this, and therefore your biggest "fear" is being actualized? Like yeah I kind have that fetish too but it's in ADDITION to normal sex. It's just a bonus I have . Also i don't have that fetish when I'm having normal sex. Only if I'm fantasizing in a kind of "loser mode" (femdom)

I just woke up from one of my most terrifying sleep paralysis experience, which happened after a bad trip dream (just to make things more fun might have thought my brain). The level of self-awareness I reached on this sleep paralysis was way, way, way, beyond anything I had experienced yet. Basically I couldn't move but I was conscious (honestly I DON'T KNOW anymore if I do get true sleep paralysis or I DREAM THEM. In anyway I basically think it's the same or there is not much difference). So yeah, I couldn't move and I was conscious. I basically was this absolute nothingness in an empty black void space, and I was absolutely conscious. There was NO EGO. I could just focus on the breathing. And I actually I wondered if I was going to die of respiratory supression in that moment right there (because the sleep paralysis it just completely vanishes your sense of body, it gives you this feeling, like the breathing is your only "anchor" you better not lose it). So I focus on the breathing and surrender. I couldn't do anything else. Thankfully after some "seconds" it passed. Fuck that was intense. That was God? Why that was SO SCARY? There wasn't NO hallucinations whatsoever. It was just pure raw Consciousness with No ego, yet this was a level of being aware so Intense and radical it went beyond the typical peaceful of meditation to basically terryfing of so real this nothingness was.

Of course! ? I' don't even have to try it my fucking night shift job already puts me some kind of sleep deprivation almost every day Lol. (But I guess you mean more sleep deprivation than just sleeping some hours less than usual) Anyways even sleeping the whole 8 hour stuff it's not the same rest sleeping it through day light so...

Ok let's put it this way better... If you see life as absurd that's because Life it's like that. You might say "No, it's my personal view of Life". But your personal view is happening within Universal Life!

You created this shit so you tell me. ?

God has a wide range of states. Being raped is ALSO GOD yet it fucking sucks. The motto of "if it's God it must be loving and peaceful" it's so ridiculous and hunky dory thinking lmao. I'm telling you...I couldn't think!!! Just pure fear!

I don't know man, I'm kind of tired I think of all this thing. I mean I appreciate you guys response always and love this community, but I think it's time for me soon to go seek the truth on my own, Because this forum ain't really helping me.

Ugh, Here we go again wiith Solipsism thing. I'm so tired of it

Yes of course you can definitely have a bad drug experience on 33ug. But the consensus of bad trip is much much worse than just a weird bad experience

33ug is not enough to have a bad trip on your own but DEFINITELY enough to have a very uncomfortable moment if you socialize with certain people at certain setting on it.

Exactly

@Mason Riggle I get that, non duality and such. But even if I contemple the possibility of being the present moment completely with no referent "I", which I had those moments, I can't intere from that I created the whole universe. See this is what I don't get. If you realize you are God, then you are God. How could it be different levels of deepness? I can understand they can be levels regarding understanding reality. But being God it's seems a 1+1 thing. Either you are it or Not. ?

And even then your state unfortunately falls down after a while. And by the way Leo do you actually think you can realize you are God just by doing self inquiry? I mean I personally had a great awakening doing self inquiry a year ago but there wasn't even close to realising I am God. It was just a peaceful, quiet, no-mind, higher state of awareness..I mean great and all but I wasn't able to concur that I am God from that state. ?

You were NEVER BORN lmao ? You can't imagine how deep this goes man ? You are the universe how are you going to be 'born'? To be born there must be a duality between that which gets born (sorry for my english I don't know how to use born in past tense Lol), and to the place where you get born. But since you are the universe/One (non duality) you can not be born. You can only divide yourself to make the appearance that you get born. And you do that by imagining a human being and a an apparent 'physical reality'. Then yeah, the imaginary human being does get born. But of pure imagination of yourself.

The problem is this just more stories of the you who is depressed..e.tc you are not going to do it. And instead you will keep suffering. Instead try closing your eyes, focus on your breath and surrender your life. That's the only true "suicide" worth to do.

Remember that you are imagining Us and what you are right now is the whole universe. When your personal life ends, another life will start going on. And you will be conscious of that life too.. Because you are God (Yes, I'm parroting Leo )

@Someone here And inside each eye, I'm sure there's more room for division and separation. Yet you call it an "eye" as a whole. What if you are doing the same with reality?

That's all I need it to know thanks ? ?

@Inliytened1 is the realization 100% absolute? Like...do you ever come back to believing in physical reality? (Just a little bit) You Dont have a single doubt you realized the absolute? Like...Im skeptical because you guys have attachments like i do... I Dont want to play the skeptical Card thought. Im all in to seek for truth, But, you guys Dont have a single doubt of What you have realized right?

@Nahm Is this true what they are saying Nahm? And please don't be ironic as you always are ?

And who told you that? Did you consciously realize it? Are you conscious that you are God?

I could never let go more of what I did last Sunday on almost 30mg of 5-meo-dmt and I still couldn't get it Lol. I mean got an overwhelming Solipsistic feeling but it was also a very Oneness feeling... While in the experience I still had a sense we were One...that you guys actually exist... Somewhere sometime

You guys have posted that video 1 thousand times but we still can't get it. The Truth can't be delivered by a YouTube video I guess ? @Leo Gura I wish I could get it lol but no, thx for trying tho ? I don't get though if reality is infinite how come an infinite number of present moments couldn't exist. Seems plausible that they would. The only question would be what is the cord that is uniting your present moment with mine. Who is maintaining and creating that cord? Another God? Yeah don't reply just writing it it's obvious I'm making stories and fantasies and deepying myself further from truth. ?

You obviously exist..if somewhere somehow "I" (God) can imagine a Leo creating Actualized.org... then you exist. And therefore here you are. Telling me about God. See, it's not Solipsistic. Somewhere you exist. Maybe not in physicsl reality, Because there isn't one. But you exist.

You still can realize you are God, without assuming that the present moment is all that Exists. For example I could assume God is looking through each person's eyes as it's thorough mine. That way reality is not Solipsistic and I'm still God. You once said "God is a being that has multiple personality disorder"