Javfly33

@JonasVE12 brilliant as always man ??. You have described like you were in the situation , that's how right you got it haha. Yeah in situations that I am differently energetically, I don't get this feeling of being walked over it. I really want to change.

So...lately I've been more aware of everything...and it turns out, when I talk with older people than me, if we are having a conversation that we are disagreeing , sometimes I get "fucked" by them. Not literally Obvious LOL. But in the sense that they are talking and I feel like I want to tell them "Woah, No, I fucking disagree with that, and you are not right". And I just say things such as... "yeah...but... " , "Well you are right but that doesn't mean that..." And overall I feel an impeding emotion of not being able to STEP UP FOR MYSELF and being "attacked" and "put in my place". I have thought about this and I think it's because I don't set hard limits at the beginning of the conversation. Probably if I would be more aware and respect my limits I would stop them in the first line with something such as "First of all, please talk to me in a educated manner, I feel you are using an agreesive tone and I don't owe you nothing". Do you empathize with me in this topic? Does this thing happen to you too sometimes in conversations?

I've been doing "instrospection" for the last 2 years. It hasn't gotten me much. I've come to the conclusion that My root psychological wasn't one particular traumatic event in childhood, but a set of variables and events mixed with maybe a particular genetics and a particular way of being raised. So, basically, it's not that I'm going to sort out "what root problem was the cause" and then from that moment I will behave exactly like I want. I think it's time for ACTION. I think it's the only way for me to trascend this.

There is probably a video of RSD Tyler for this?

Exactly. Infinite Love is the Truth ?

You guys have said it here a lot of times. Things as: "Work on the lower stages of the spiral" "Go get some money and sex and burn that karma until you get tired of it" People here in this forum has said to me a lot of times and I never wanted to listen. Because for me, the whole point about spirituality was actually trascending this stuff WHILE you are attached to it. Like...that would be the surrender of the lower self. But yesterday I became Conscious that I need to do a bigger surrender. Or else I won't grow. I won't advance. I need to surrender the fact that I need to engage in my materialistic desires, even though it hurts my ego so much to not be able to trascend them. For my ego, is a kind of humiliation having to go through the effort and struggle of doing pick up and healing my wounds and also gaining confidence overall in life to pursue my business goals and etc. I would have liked to be able to meditate and trascend all that shit. Avoiding all of that pain. But I've come to the conclusion, no, I need to surrender...and pursue that shit. I've come to the conclusion that after all...fuck it, I'm God. I'm creating all of this stuff. If I am creating that I am not ready to trascend material attachments, that's 'cause , as God, I want for my lower self to engage in all of these things. Probably to explore reality, for the love of it. So I'm going to do it. I am done with rejecting my desires. If I am God it's allright because that means I exactly want this for my human self. So it's NOT an humiliation of God to force me to engage in personal development, Because I myself want this for myself, as God.

Yes it's definitely part of the design. That's exactly what I'm saying

@Leo Gura But you are referring to the Infinite mind. There are others, but they are Your mind. But they still exist.

@AtheisticNonduality Im not from usa. I Guess Walmart is a special weird supermarket where only ugly or old people go? Haha

You've been doing this stuff for 5 years and you are asking this question ?

?¿ That doesnt make sense. Dont they go get groceries like everybody else? Lol Most hot spectacular Girl i Saw was at my local supermarket on a little town i was living some months ago ?. ( I actually made a topic about It )

?‍♂️

@Podie45 Don't you dare trying to use Enlightment to "trascend" your need to heal and actualize your social skills. It will only makes thing worse and waste you time and energy. I did the same mistake. The only solution is to keep suffering so much that at one point the pain it's so unbearable that you will end up forcing yourself to socialize and be confident no matter how weird, cringe, or difficult it feels. You will do it again and again until you feel you get to place you want to get. This is actually what happened to Owen (RSD Dynamics) and tbh what is happening with me too.

Will God dream another universe again? I mean I suppose this assumption is pretty safe to make since God won't be in Infinite Consciousness for ever. God will dream again for sure. So the questions arise such as: 1. On what basis God will dream the next universe? 2. Will it be a universe in which living beings (of they are) will live more peacefully and happy?

It's all Infinite Love ??

@gettoefl so each time you think you "lose yourself"? That's a shitty way to live. Are you sure you have realized the Self? @Mason Riggle

I don't know about the whole dopamine / brain / porn thing. I've been using porn since 13 years old almost daily and I will go absolutely mental at the touch of a hottie in bed. @Daniel Lopez Couldn't it be that you are making a big deal of this, and therefore your biggest "fear" is being actualized? Like yeah I kind have that fetish too but it's in ADDITION to normal sex. It's just a bonus I have . Also i don't have that fetish when I'm having normal sex. Only if I'm fantasizing in a kind of "loser mode" (femdom)

I just woke up from one of my most terrifying sleep paralysis experience, which happened after a bad trip dream (just to make things more fun might have thought my brain). The level of self-awareness I reached on this sleep paralysis was way, way, way, beyond anything I had experienced yet. Basically I couldn't move but I was conscious (honestly I DON'T KNOW anymore if I do get true sleep paralysis or I DREAM THEM. In anyway I basically think it's the same or there is not much difference). So yeah, I couldn't move and I was conscious. I basically was this absolute nothingness in an empty black void space, and I was absolutely conscious. There was NO EGO. I could just focus on the breathing. And I actually I wondered if I was going to die of respiratory supression in that moment right there (because the sleep paralysis it just completely vanishes your sense of body, it gives you this feeling, like the breathing is your only "anchor" you better not lose it). So I focus on the breathing and surrender. I couldn't do anything else. Thankfully after some "seconds" it passed. Fuck that was intense. That was God? Why that was SO SCARY? There wasn't NO hallucinations whatsoever. It was just pure raw Consciousness with No ego, yet this was a level of being aware so Intense and radical it went beyond the typical peaceful of meditation to basically terryfing of so real this nothingness was.

Of course! ? I' don't even have to try it my fucking night shift job already puts me some kind of sleep deprivation almost every day Lol. (But I guess you mean more sleep deprivation than just sleeping some hours less than usual) Anyways even sleeping the whole 8 hour stuff it's not the same rest sleeping it through day light so...

Ok let's put it this way better... If you see life as absurd that's because Life it's like that. You might say "No, it's my personal view of Life". But your personal view is happening within Universal Life!

You created this shit so you tell me. ?

God has a wide range of states. Being raped is ALSO GOD yet it fucking sucks. The motto of "if it's God it must be loving and peaceful" it's so ridiculous and hunky dory thinking lmao. I'm telling you...I couldn't think!!! Just pure fear!

I don't know man, I'm kind of tired I think of all this thing. I mean I appreciate you guys response always and love this community, but I think it's time for me soon to go seek the truth on my own, Because this forum ain't really helping me.

Ugh, Here we go again wiith Solipsism thing. I'm so tired of it

Yes of course you can definitely have a bad drug experience on 33ug. But the consensus of bad trip is much much worse than just a weird bad experience