Javfly33

I'm not sure. I think in one hand there's purely a biological drive and masculine side that is lacking in my human-embedded consciousness which if I don't resolve/achieve my mind won't work well and will develops neurotic behaviours even more concerning. And the other one yeah it's the psychological aspect of my ego. As I said I think one of my biggest motivators is the incredible intense pain I feel when I like a lot a girl and I feel I'm not good man enough for her. I think that pain is what I am fundamentally trying to get away from. As I wrote in a recent topic, I recently put a knife in my throat in front of my crush and his boyfriend because of feeling this emotional pain after hearing them fucking all night. Talked to them afterwards to explain them why. that was pretty healing. But I think it comes a point you can't really heal yourself completely without taking action.

@Crane Bahnsteik thanks maaaaan

Yeah but I'm used to the pain of second one Lol since it got cronic ? the first one comes from time to time pD: I'm just kidding, it's all an act, I will stop behaving like a victim

What is wrong with sucking a dick in the parking lot 30 minutes after talking with the guy?

@Emerald I wouldn't mind in accepting the second one but I really think here is the first one ??‍♂️ pD: of course ultimately I want to approach to have success with women and achieve the phase of dating/sex/receiving feelings of attraction/love+validation from women which ultimately will make feel good about myself. But approach is just a step, the final goal is becoming attractive man. @WaveInTheOcean

Yesterday I had a weird silent mind during the whole afternoon, at one point I was walking downtown, and I suddenly stop believing that other people walking down the street were real, but rather a very intense feeling that they were being created by Consciousness in that precise moment. At his time it was NOT a belief of "I am alone and I'm the only thing real and those people are being created by me" = > Solipsism train of thought. It was a feeling that everybody was looking through my eyes, because there wasn't a personal "I" but a universal "I" sonfor the first time I didn't felt alone like I had been feeling when thinking about non duality conceptually. (In my last topic for example) I don't quite understand what this experience means but I'm grateful I have been to able to experience, and I wanted to share it here. Peace ?

@WaveInTheOcean I don't remember. I only remember this life. That's the whole issue about it. When the body dies then material reality maybe is over for ever. Probably existence will still exist. As pure Consciousness, but...will ever of "us" will experience another material dream? I don't think so.

Yeah, all my previous life Lol haha. Yeah, I've done some psychs here and there of course. It's very nice to see that my state of consciousness it's higher and it gets maintained even when one is sober, this definetely proves that psychedelics can actually be useful, I think also it's been fundamental that I have stopped being physical dependent on Kratom, my baseline state of consciousness has raised automatically since I stop having to take that mud daily ??. Even though it wasn't getting me high anymore, the fact I had to take it to not feel restless, dead-tired, etc, was impacting in my state of consciousness by numbning it subtly.

Aren't you sure those are just beliefs, assumptions and guesses haven arised after interpretation of mystical experiences and awakenings? Who is maintaining that "film frame" of other POV while you are living your movie/POV? ?

@Someone here I also have gotten tired of watching Leo. No offense to Leo of course Lol.

Whatever. You are just a figment of my imagination trying to trick myself Into believing you are real. Haha! You didn't got me

I as Existence

Accept it. It's not that bad news. It's actually good news. You imagined everything! How beautiful that is. That you are complete. And like allislove said, "you" is not real. "Your life" has been the imagination of God. Let go of yourself and watch the show play.

Oh no, I do know people who I can hang around from time to time. Within the illusion I am not alone. I'm actually learning to connect more and I'm seeing the fruits of that work coming up, thanks for asking ?

Lol. Don't be such a drama queen. And it's all a fantasy, too. There's no universe!!!

I Was going to quote you but something happened. Answering your question, I am alone completely, not sure what you mean with "conventional sense". I am God imagining that there's some guy in some city out there with the username "Someone Here" replying to me. That's fantasy. Only This present moment exists. I am completely alone and I accept it. ?

?? Good to see you around here man

Yes, this "perceptions" are not mine. This opens up a whole new field of understanding this experience.

@Nahm Bro ?

Lol. You are making an act. Want to keep making the act of being a loser simp? Go ahead, But know that is an act. You run the Risk of wasting a lot of time and even fucking Up your life thinking that way.

??

He is really stubborn ?

How to deal with frustration? Mind telling you are not going to make it, it's too difficult, etc? When you have built an identity with being powerless, what can you do to stop this identity?

I hope you are having a great time ?

Because I still tell myself stories that this ain't a dream It's real and I am real!!! (Says the ego) It's just tough to drop the illusion completely.